Sigh.

[tara g]

When Rob and I separated, the cats stayed with him because I initially was staying in someone else's house (and they had two large dogs already). I got the apartment in January but had a lot of stuff to go through and get done before thinking of having the cats here. I was getting Nero and Neko, Rob was keeping Hoshi. Originally the agreement was that Rob would just keep them until I figured out where I was moving to outside SC. After talking it over for a few weeks with the other half, and missing the kitties like crazy, we agreed I could bring them to the apartment (and pay the insane pet fee!)

I had to take Neko and Hoshi to the vet for a comprehensive exam yesterday, so I decided that I'd just bring Neko back to the apartment with me since it'd been about a month since planning to get him here. Neko has always been iffy with change. He doesn't really like other people (he never was friendly to Rob's parents, and they were the ones who'd feed him for 2 years whenever we went out of town; and forget if we had company or a cookout, he'd be hiding under the washer/dryer even if we were outside!), so I'm actually surprised how well he is doing being in the apartment with a stranger. He jumped on the bed earlier a few times. But he has been meowing and crying for at least 2+ hours now. Heck, he was laying next to me on the couch (trying to keep him away from the bedroom now) and rubbing my hand, yet letting out loud, horribly pitiful meows. I did just open the door to the screened in porch and let him out there and he's quiet now just laying out there, but I already know I'll be sitting up all night trying to keep him out/away from the bedroom (and he hates closed doors so that would just make him wail more), just so he doesn't keep the other half up all night too. I also know I can't leave the porch door open all night for him to come in and out as he pleases because the pollen is ridiculous, and bf has bad allergies.

I'm pretty much in tears in frustration and sadness, feeling that bringing him back to the house with Rob is the best option for him right now, and less stressful, and to just worry about having him when I'm settled in one spot rather than having him here now for a few months, back with Rob for a month or so, and then taking him wherever I end up going. Just feel horrible doing that, like I'm giving up on him and he's been so super sweet otherwise today.

Nero on the other hand is the most easily adaptable cat ever. Loves everybody, everything and everywhere. I was going to be getting him later in the week just because he's staying with Rob's parents but I'd rather pick him up from the house instead of awkwardly going through them (I haven't seen nor talked with them since just after Thanksgiving). Nero's been with his parents since the end of Jan. I miss my baby sleeping on my head at night and giving me kisses when I walk in the door. The bf even commented on how happy I was now that I had a cat with me again.

I guess I just needed to vent my thoughts a bit, and hope that I'm not wrong for thinking that having Neko stay where he's familiar until I move is the best thing all around...

 

[kailie]

Aww doll, you want him to go through the least amount of stress as possible, and if that means him staying with Rob a little while longer than that's what should be done. He probably will stop the howling/freaking out once he settles down though, he probably just doesn't know what's going on so he's stressed. You have to do what's best for you AND Neko. Hope things settle down soon!

 

[tara g]

He howled for 5 hours. Apparently the bf sleeps like a rock at times, and last night was one of those times. He didn't know why I was so upset at 4am when I finally got back into bed. Neko howled and I said "that, he's been doing it for hours and I feel bad." He got Neko to go by his side of the bed, but he continued to do that for another hour before going out into the living room and climbing behind a box where he's been since 5am (its now noon, he's still there). I emailed Rob last night and told him I was bringing Neko back to the house because he needs to be where he is familiar and comfortable with being for as long as possible IMO. It took me a pretty long time to get Neko to where he is today regarding skittishness and hiding, and I don't want to juggle him around so much in the next 4-6 months. I think I was only considering myself and what I wanted (my cats to be with me) rather than how it would affect him as well. I'm not worried about Nero freaking out because he's the most laid back cat ever (he's even visited Rob at his work on a leash and harness one day and just hung out like "hey, new place, new people, new attention!")

I do think now I know I found a good guy when it comes to the other half ... here I am frustrated out of my mind, worried that he was getting annoyed with all the noise, but yet it was 4am, and he's like "Aw, Neko's alright, he just needs time. C'mere bud! (to Neko). Maybe its not time for him to be with us yet, maybe we should start with just having Nero here and get Neko when it'll be less stressful all around." I've been worried how having my cats would go, since he's mostly been a dog person (had to leave his 8yr old Rottie Jasmine with his brother when we moved to the apartment so that she'd still have a yard, plus the pet fee here and size restrictions on dogs) and his mom would say he didn't like cats when we were up in VT even though he insisted it was just her cats that drove him nuts. I did see him bond with his aunt's cat RJ though up in VT, she slept with us every night and he'd be like "haha RJ cuddled with me last night!" :lol3: