Should I surrender new cat?

CleoVixyDuke

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I agreed to accept a 1 year old long hair black cat from a friend who could not care for her. I thought my 5 year old cat would be happy to have a friend but things are not working out.
My resident cat takes the youngster's attempts at play as aggression and is living in fear.
I have to keep them separated in different rooms and my 5 year old only comes in to sleep.
It does not appear as though this situation will improve.
I would prefer an older kitty but bringing the youngster to the shelter is a difficult decision.
I would really appreciate any advice insight from readers. Thank you in advance.
 

FeebysOwner

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Hi. How long ago did you take in this cat? And what process did you use to do introductions? If your 5 yo has been an only cat before now, that makes getting her used to a new cat even more challenging. See if there is a way you can devise a plan to help these cats get along by way of these TCS articles.
How To Fix An Unsuccessful Cat Introduction – TheCatSite Articles
How To Successfully Introduce Cats: The Ultimate Guide – TheCatSite Articles
How To Introduce A Kitten To An Older Cat – TheCatSite Articles
How To Help A New Cat Adjust To Your Home – TheCatSite Articles

It might take a little longer than 'normal' since they got off to a rough start.
 

julia123123

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How long did you keep them separated before the introduction? It takes quite a while. I just went through a very difficult introduction too...adding a female cat to my household with a very grumpy female cat. It took about 3 months before they settled down a bit...with almost constant separation. Apparently that's pretty normal. If you google "cat introduction process" you can see the details. It also might be that the 1 year old - who is still in "older kitten" phase - is just really wanting to play. Are you able to spend more time with him in play? I just adopted two kittens myself and have an older girl at home. Gotta wear those kittens out so that they don't bother resident cat. :) Diversionary play is keeping a close eye on the cats together and if younger cat starts stalking older cat, get out that feather wand and distract! There are also electronic toys...a pretty cheap one that all cats seem to love is that feather wand that spins under a vinyl circle. About $10, I think! Above all, cat intros take patience and time. I've had my new kittens for nearly a month now and they still have not been introduced to resident cat. Slow and steady!
 
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CleoVixyDuke

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Thank you. I will look for that toy and try to tire out the youngster.
 
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CleoVixyDuke

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Hi. How long ago did you take in this cat? And what process did you use to do introductions? If your 5 yo has been an only cat before now, that makes getting her used to a new cat even more challenging. See if there is a way you can devise a plan to help these cats get along by way of these TCS articles.
How To Fix An Unsuccessful Cat Introduction – TheCatSite Articles
How To Successfully Introduce Cats: The Ultimate Guide – TheCatSite Articles
How To Introduce A Kitten To An Older Cat – TheCatSite Articles
How To Help A New Cat Adjust To Your Home – TheCatSite Articles

It might take a little longer than 'normal' since they got off to a rough start.
Thank you for the links. I'll check them out.
It has been one month since I brought the new cat home. My resident cat lost his two older cat friends through old age and cancer two years ago. I have never had such a challenge introducing cats.
 

Mamanyt1953

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The older they are, the longer it takes them to adjust, but do try those articles. You're nowhere near "impossible" yet. We've seen successful introductions take almost a year...or more.
 

ArtNJ

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As Mamanyt1953 Mamanyt1953 noted, age matters a lot and things get harder as cats age. Five year olds are kind of at an in between age. Sometimes, some of them can accept other cats relatively quickly and easily. Others, have meaningful trouble. The notion of a formal introduction process is not always needed for five year olds, but when things are on the more challenging side, it can help.

As you'll see from the links in FeebysOwner FeebysOwner 's post, the basic idea is to slowly increase the challenge, let the cat see that nothing bad is happening at each step, and get used to things slowly. If this is not done, and folks try to just supervise, sometimes the cats manage to fight or at least scare the crap out of each other, which sets things back. So without knowing what you have done and how, and exactly what has happened, can't say exactly how challenging this will be.

Generally speaking, after a month, I'd skip to a visual access step and let that run until obvious tensions have eased. I'm not a fan of indefinite introduction processes lasting months except in the most extreme cases, and think that it is often necessary to let cats work out remaining difficulties. But without a slow formal process, there may still be additional tensions that you can help them get rid of before asking them to do the rest of the work.
 
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CleoVixyDuke

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Thank you. The cats are doing better. I see progress and encouraging signs. I would have preferred an older kitty but we don't always get to choose. The 1 year old came from an environment where she had to compete with other cats. With love and kindness, she is learning that is not necessary. The 5 year old, Cleo, was with me since kittenhood and is very relaxed and calm. They can now be in the same room for a short time but Cleo insists on being perched on her cat tree when indoors. This has been hard on Cleo. I keep them separated when I can't be present. I think it may take a few more months but the worst is over. The 1 year old is a good girl. If I surrender her, I fear for her fate. Thank you again for the encouragement. I'll post an update as the cats adjust.
 

TardisDance

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I was in a similar scenario with adopting a 1.5 year old male and having a 4 year old resident female cat. The younger male would constantly pounce on my resident cat. I would try to redirect him with a toy but it almost wound him up worse or he wouldn’t care about the toy at all and still pounce on her. Time outs would back fire at times and he almost went after her more. He also would constantly groom her to bully her off her favorite spots or if she tolerated it, she would be soaking wet. I kept him in his own room for 6 months at night as I was worried about her being picked on. There were several occasions where I was tempted to return him to the rescue because I thought it was bad match. Alas, I am a big softie and couldn’t go through with it.

Honestly the only thing that has helped is time and he’s growing up and maturing a bit. He still pounces on her a few times a day but they cuddle together several times a day and at night. He does tend to be a bit overbearing still and take her favorite spots, but the quick solution is move him and doesn’t protest too much. He can be a huge PITA at times but the worst of it is over I think.
 
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