Should I Still Be Hoping My Missing Cat Will Come Home?

[Norachan]

I'm not sure how far cats can smell, but I know they can wander a few miles away and then come back again. Some of the feral cats I feed have a huge territory, I see them a good 30 minutes walk from their usual home territory.

Ninja may have been chased off, which means she won't be able to find her way back home. There may be something stopping her from coming home, such as a busy road or a yard with a big dog in it.

She may have accidentally hitched a ride in a car or truck, then found herself a long way from home. Follow up any leads you get, even if it does sound like it's too far for her to have traveled. You never know what might have happened.

 

[Ninja's Mom]

Thank you for your help, ladies. I got in contact with the woman from this organization and today we're going to see the gray cat that looked like Ninja. This is the story: There is a woman who feeds the strays and they come to her back yard everyday. As they were breeding amongst themselves, they all look similar, small and gray. There are kittens too. The woman feeds them around 4 pm so we're going over there at that time to look at the cats. The thing is that most of the cats are sick and can't be put for adoption so they just TNR them. I don't really think it's probable that Ninja is among them anymore, but I have to go see for myself anyway.
The woman also told me her cat was missing for three months too and that she was hiding in the neighborhood the entire time. She told me to go to the place where strays are fed around midnight and to stay there quietly until 3 am. She said if the cat was so shy, she would probably wait until everything is quiet and then come out to eat, but as soon she ate, she would probably go back into hiding. It was like that with hers. And it does make sense. So that's what I've been doing this week, but no cat. I did hear one in the bushes near the feeding station, but she wouldn't come out and the bushes are way to thick to see inside. I put some food there and waited some more, but as the cat wouldn't show herself I had to leave, it was sooo cold.
Also, if Ninja was chased away, she could have returned without crossing the road, because we have underpasses underneath big roads, that's actually the only way you should cross to the other side of the road.
Oh and another thing: as I was walking in the night, searching for Ninja and putting posters up, I saw a woman feeding a stray in front of her building. I immediately came over, told my story to the woman and gave her one poster and she told me that she's had a cat go missing too. And she was searching and searching for him but had eventually given up, only to spot him completely by accident around 300 meters (1000 feet, says the Internet) 2 damn years after he had gone missing! And he was a Maine Coon, a big, fluffy cat that is distinguishable as it is, and especially here, where there are almost none of them. It fascinates me how he managed to stay hidden for two years and he was soo close the whole time! She said he recognized her immediately and came over for cuddles, she picked him up and took him home and he never left again. I hope Ninja comes back too. Even with kittens, even after two years.

 

[catsknowme]

Continuing to send prayers and vibes that Ninja returns. Right now she is being "stealth Ninja"

 

[Margret]

It sounds like you're getting good advice from the local people who help out the ferals, and I'm very glad to hear it; they're the ones you really need on your side.

As for how a Maine Coon could disappear that way: they come in a variety of colors, some of which are excellent for hiding in shadows; they may be big but they're also fluffy which means that they don't present an obvious cat shape when seen in the dark; and cats tend to be masters of stealth. A cat who's decided that it's not safe to show him/herself can pretty much stay hidden indefinitely. The key is to make it feel safe for Ninja to come out, in the right place (that is, near Ninja's hiding place) at the right time (when Ninja is actually there). This is a matter of skill, luck, and persistence. There are no guarantees, but it's definitely worth trying.

Margret

 

[Norachan]

Two of my cats were gone for over 6 weeks, one of them at the coldest time of year when we had around 50 cm of snow and sub zero temperatures every night. I looked everywhere for them. I live in a forest so I don't have any neighbours that I could ask to help. Just when I had given up hope I got them back. One of them found her way home again and the other was found over three miles away by a lady who feeds feral cats. They managed to survive on their own all that time.

Is Ninja spayed? If not she might be out looking for a mate. Getting a cheap trail camera and setting it up in the places feral cats are fed might be your best way of spotting her.

Good luck, sending you finding vibes.

 

[Ninja's Mom]

Thank you so much guys! Your willingness to help makes me cry every time.
Ninja is not spayed. I meant to do it, but kept postponing it for one reason or another, mostly financial. I fixed Sumo first because I didn't want him to spray urine all over my apartment and Ninja was planned to be fixed soon, but soon never came. I was also thinking maybe she is trying to find a mate, or maybe she even has kittens by now. Friday was exactly three months since she is gone. And if she does have kittens to feed too, she might become more courageous looking for food. How do you think a shy cat would act alone outside? Would she even be trying to find a mate or would she be too scared for that? What wins, fear or instinct?

I didn't end up going to see the gray kitties that woman is feeding, because she changed her mind. She is very protective of the cats, afraid someone is going to steal them or hurt them or something and even tried to stop the adoption they had organized for one of the kittens. She is a bit of a crazy cat lady. So I got her number and will call her today and try to get her to trust me enough to show them to me. Until now only the woman from the organization has talked to her, but she might be more open to it if I call her myself and tell her about my broken heart.

And Margret, thank you so much for making me feel like it's ok to love a new kitty. I know it is, but I only know it with my brain, but at the same time I have this weird feeling of guilt. Like she should be in my arms, and not this strange cat.
My paycheck should come this week, so I will be looking at cameras. Thank you for all you advice and for sending vibes to Ninja, I really hope she catches them.

 

[Margret]

How do you think a shy cat would act alone outside? Would she even be trying to find a mate or would she be too scared for that? What wins, fear or instinct?

I'm afraid that this is way beyond personality or mere instinct; when a cat is in heat the hormones are in total control. All of the cat's effort goes into finding mates and getting pregnant. Note the plural there; just because the first tom she found inseminated her and the sperm has found one or more ova does not mean that heat is over. It's not unusual for each kitten in the litter to have a different father. If Ninja was going into heat when she got lost then this is likely the reason she got lost; she wasn't just trying to play the door game, she was actively trying to get out, to find tom cats. It sounded strange to me that when you went back to the door for her she didn't respond to you, but if she was in heat that would explain it. By that time she had probably already found her way outside.

Yes, wherever Ninja is she is most likely either pregnant or caring for a litter. Gestation period for cats is 58 to 63 days, right around 2 months, and Ninja has been missing for about 3 months. Either way, Ninja's primary concern right now must be food; both pregnancy and nursing require calories. I hope she's found a good clowder of ferals to join so that she has access to "Aunties" who will help with kitten care while she hunts.

Regarding the new kitten, yes, I understand the mixed feelings. This is not the ideal time for you to be adopting a new kitten precisely because of the turmoil in your emotions. You have to be the one to decide what to do about this. There is no betrayal of Ninja in loving a new kitten, but by the same token the kitten deserves to be loved for himself, not as a substitute for someone who is missing, and not on probation "just in case" the beloved missing cat isn't found. Only you can know whether you're able to do that; it may be that the kitten should be turned over to a good no-kill shelter (if one is available) or that you should be looking for a different family to give him a furrever home.

Margret

 

[catsknowme]

You might be interested in this:
Family Looking At Shelter's Page Sees Their Cat Who Has Been Missing 2 Years...

 

[Ninja's Mom]

I don't think she left on purpose. I can't imagine she would dare. Even Sumo would be too scared to go out. 36 square meters of my apartment was all that they ever knew. Both had fallen out the window once, on different occasions. I was there both times, so I was able to run and get them immediately. When Ninja fell, she stayed frozen in the same position. I got down in front of the building and started walking slowly towards her, talking softly, but since Lizzi was with me, her dogness scared Ninja a bit so she started running. I told Lizzi to wait and called to the cat gently, saying, Nooo... nooo baabbyyy..... waaaaaaiiiit.... come to mommy little girrrl.... My heart was pounding! And she stopped and just stared at me, like she wasn't entirely certain if I was the good guy. But she did stay and let me pick her up and bring her back inside. And when Sumo fell, my ex boyfriend went out to get him, but he panicked and ran like an idiot, and he had those big boots on and he ran out like Techno Viking, and then the cat panicked and ran. He saw the direction the cat ran, but there are so many bushes and other places a cat can hide around my building that we ended up searching for him for about an hour. I finally found him underneath the staircase leading to the entrance of the building. He was crouching in the furtherest corner, all the way in the back and then I saw the eyes and called to him, and only then have I gotten a single small meow. And he's the fearless one! So, considering everything, I just don't feel like they would ever dare to go investigate the outer world even if they thought they wanted to; not for real, you know? Especially Ninja, who get scared first and asks questions later, so to say. And besides, she was not in heat when she went missing. I think she just got locked out and I feel she hung around at first, but as people who live in our hall started waking up and making noises, something scared her and she got out through that balcony at the end of the hall.
That being said, after being out for some time and realizing that she survived, she probably has gotten a little more courageous by now, at least I hope so. So I can imagine her going into heat again eventually.
So I have question. If Ninja is a shy cat who needs time to trust someone and had always hissed at our animal guests, how probable is that she will join a colony? To me she seems more of a loner type cat. Unless being unfixed would influence her behavior?

As for the small kitty. It's hard to explain. It's not that I took him in because I needed a cat. I had a cat at home, it's not like a needed a replacement. It was just that he was all alone and helpless and it was obvious that he wasn't a stray, but that somebody had thrown him on the street. So I felt sorry for him and took him home. And as I was trying to find my own cat, how could I have said no to another being in need? I found all my animals, Lizzi too.
There are many more stray cats than we can take care of, as a society. There are organizations that try to help, but those are only volunteers, the government or the city don't help them, they have no space and the animals they take in are usually hurt or in some other way in need and they often take them to their own apartments. So if you find an animal and decide to take it with you, you basically got yourself an animal, that's how it works. So I put the kitty on Facebook, but he just drowned in a sea of similar posts. There are cute kittens everywhere and I was aware that there is a big chance that this is my cat now. So he's here now, he's family and he's not going anywhere. Sumo was really sad for a long time, but having the kitten around helped a lot. I know he still misses Ninja, but he's slowly getting back to his old self. And the kitten is cute and likes to cuddle and purrs a lot and it's not like I don't love him. I really am attached to him and I hate the idea of giving him away. It's hard to explain the guilt though. It might not be completely rational.

 

[draev_xx]

I don't think she left on purpose. I can't imagine she would dare. Even Sumo would be too scared to go out. 36 square meters of my apartment was all that they ever knew. Both had fallen out the window once, on different occasions. I was there both times, so I was able to run and get them immediately. When Ninja fell, she stayed frozen in the same position. I got down in front of the building and started walking slowly towards her, talking softly, but since Lizzi was with me, her dogness scared Ninja a bit so she started running. I told Lizzi to wait and called to the cat gently, saying, Nooo... nooo baabbyyy..... waaaaaaiiiit.... come to mommy little girrrl.... My heart was pounding! And she stopped and just stared at me, like she wasn't entirely certain if I was the good guy. But she did stay and let me pick her up and bring her back inside. And when Sumo fell, my ex boyfriend went out to get him, but he panicked and ran like an idiot, and he had those big boots on and he ran out like Techno Viking, and then the cat panicked and ran. He saw the direction the cat ran, but there are so many bushes and other places a cat can hide around my building that we ended up searching for him for about an hour. I finally found him underneath the staircase leading to the entrance of the building. He was crouching in the furtherest corner, all the way in the back and then I saw the eyes and called to him, and only then have I gotten a single small meow. And he's the fearless one! So, considering everything, I just don't feel like they would ever dare to go investigate the outer world even if they thought they wanted to; not for real, you know? Especially Ninja, who get scared first and asks questions later, so to say. And besides, she was not in heat when she went missing. I think she just got locked out and I feel she hung around at first, but as people who live in our hall started waking up and making noises, something scared her and she got out through that balcony at the end of the hall.
That being said, after being out for some time and realizing that she survived, she probably has gotten a little more courageous by now, at least I hope so. So I can imagine her going into heat again eventually.
So I have question. If Ninja is a shy cat who needs time to trust someone and had always hissed at our animal guests, how probable is that she will join a colony? To me she seems more of a loner type cat. Unless being unfixed would influence her behavior?

As for the small kitty. It's hard to explain. It's not that I took him in because I needed a cat. I had a cat at home, it's not like a needed a replacement. It was just that he was all alone and helpless and it was obvious that he wasn't a stray, but that somebody had thrown him on the street. So I felt sorry for him and took him home. And as I was trying to find my own cat, how could I have said no to another being in need? I found all my animals, Lizzi too.
There are many more stray cats than we can take care of, as a society. There are organizations that try to help, but those are only volunteers, the government or the city don't help them, they have no space and the animals they take in are usually hurt or in some other way in need and they often take them to their own apartments. So if you find an animal and decide to take it with you, you basically got yourself an animal, that's how it works. So I put the kitty on Facebook, but he just drowned in a sea of similar posts. There are cute kittens everywhere and I was aware that there is a big chance that this is my cat now. So he's here now, he's family and he's not going anywhere. Sumo was really sad for a long time, but having the kitten around helped a lot. I know he still misses Ninja, but he's slowly getting back to his old self. And the kitten is cute and likes to cuddle and purrs a lot and it's not like I don't love him. I really am attached to him and I hate the idea of giving him away. It's hard to explain the guilt though. It might not be completely rational.

Hi there, I know its been a while but have you ever your Ninja baby? I've been reading all these posts and I'm in the same situation with my TnR outdoor/indoor cat missing already for almost 2 weeks. I'm devastated but I noticed your last post was in November 2017, any updates?
I hope all you ladies are doing well, you guys have really made me feel good.

 

[Ninja's Mom]

Hey there Draev_xx.
Thank you for your interest, but unfortunately, still nothing, not even one sighting!
Which doesn't really mean anything, because she is exactly the type of a cat who would never ever let anyone see her (hence the name), so she could very well still be alive and close, just well hiddden. So I can't give up hope even though I ran out of clues long time ago.
The worst part is the feeling of not having any support. Everybody else thinks I should let it go already and just get over it. They advise me to talk to a therapist like that can homehow bring the cat back.
Sorry to hear about your cat. How did it happen?

 

[catsknowme]

I am so sorry that kitties are still missing. While it is okay to move on, one should always keep hoping. It took a California wildfire for a CO woman to get back her cat.
www.denverpost.com/2017/12/25/cat-goes-missing-10-years-california-wildfire-longmont-family-reunited/

 

[draev_xx]

Hey there Draev_xx.
Thank you for your interest, but unfortunately, still nothing, not even one sighting!
Which doesn't really mean anything, because she is exactly the type of a cat who would never ever let anyone see her (hence the name), so she could very well still be alive and close, just well hiddden. So I can't give up hope even though I ran out of clues long time ago.
The worst part is the feeling of not having any support. Everybody else thinks I should let it go already and just get over it. They advise me to talk to a therapist like that can homehow bring the cat back.
Sorry to hear about your cat. How did it happen?

Oh man, I completely understand about the lack of support from family & friends. I have a few friends who have aided in the search for my cat but my sister and mother have been unhelpful (and they are the ones the cat lives with!) Even though its only been 2 weeks, and 1 day since Nemco (my cat) has been missing I like to read success stories and some of them has been weeks, months, years later, its the only thing that keeps me going now.

Have you tried an animal communicator? I know its silly but sometimes it aids the process, the hurt. Would you like to try one together? I have yet to do it... No idea who to ask.

He's a TnR cat that came into our lives August 2014 and has never missed a day since. For the past two years he started going indoors and cuddling in bed, hes very sweet but likes to go outside, so on Jan 14th, 2018 around 11pm he scratched on the front door to be let out, which is something we normally do and have been doing for years. And then my mom called him at 8am and nothing, and nothing since then. I've passed out flyers to neighbors (we live in a trailer park so sometimes Nemco would crawl under the trailers themselves and has hung out our close neighbor's gardens, nothing directly next to us but a few blocks down a few people have said they;ve seen my cat (lots of feral cats in the area) but I'm afraid maybe they saw look alikes. Another dark thought I have is that since he was lost sunday night and trash pick up is monday that maybe someone ran him over and dumped him in the trash, that gets me more emotional since I

 

[draev_xx]

would rather know than just keep living thinking there would be hope. Somehow its unlikely as well since I live in a predominately hispanic area and roadkill isn't something my neighborhood likes to pick up. I've also asked maintenance if they have picked up any roadkill but no cats so far. I hope hes nearby. Hes neutered (hence the TnR ear tip) and indoor/outdoor but no microchip and he never liked to wear collars, how I wish I got him used to collars more and got him microchipped. If he does come up I'll definitely do that and celebrate but for now I think I might hire the services of a pet detective, I'm going to pawn my cell phone to get the funds for that, but I'm so desperate and sad. Thank god I have you guys, very sweet!

Here's a picture of my Nemco, I'm in Miami.

 

[catsknowme]

So sorry that you are going through this - the not knowing is the worst
Most of us here know too well the anguish that you are going through. My dad was a cat & large dog person but my mom is a dog person so I don't get much emotional support just tons of criticism for taking care of my dad's cats (he died in 2011 so as tradition demands, my disabled daughter and I moved in with her).

 

[draev_xx]

So sorry that you are going through this - the not knowing is the worst
Most of us here know too well the anguish that you are going through. My dad was a cat & large dog person but my mom is a dog person so I don't get much emotional support just tons of criticism for taking care of my dad's cats (he died in 2011 so as tradition demands, my disabled daughter and I moved in with her).

Maybe its tough on her, my mom is a very emotional person so whenever I mention the cat I'm looking for, she says she doesn't want to talk about it otherwise she would start crying... We have to be the tough ones always.

 

[haythewxgeek]

Did you ever find George? My cat Willie has been missing for 3 months now :'(

 

[Margret]

haythewxgeek , is Willie an intact tom cat?

Margret

 

[Norachan]

Did you ever find George? My cat Willie has been missing for 3 months now :'(

No, he never did come home. It's been over five years now.



Can you tell us more about Willie and the area you live in?

 

[haythewxgeek]

we live in the country and there all the neighbors have outdoor cats without problems. we just had Willie for a month so we didnt get him fixed yet. if someone around here saw a cute cat, I'm sure they'd take it.