Should I rehome?

afuller6

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I agreed to adopt a kitten from a coworker’s friend whose cats had a litter in July. I love my kitten, but I’m worried I’m not giving her the life she deserves. I’m a college senior living in a medium sized room in the basement- she still has accessible windows. But she originally had my roommate’s cat as a friend for 3 months, now she has become adamant that they cannot play together because she is worried they will bond. My kitten cries every day for this cat, I’m sure she can sense her in the next room over. This has been going on for months. I cannot get another cat to be her playmate.
I’ve thought about fostering her for the remaining time I’m here, but that feels like a selfish decision. I’ll be here for 7 more months, so I’m sure she will bond with her new owners and other cats, I’d feel awful ripping her away from them.
Should I rehome her? I have access to the resources to be sure she goes to a kind family. I just want her to be as happy as she can be.
 

tarasgirl06

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I agreed to adopt a kitten from a coworker’s friend whose cats had a litter in July. I love my kitten, but I’m worried I’m not giving her the life she deserves. I’m a college senior living in a medium sized room in the basement- she still has accessible windows. But she originally had my roommate’s cat as a friend for 3 months, now she has become adamant that they cannot play together because she is worried they will bond. My kitten cries every day for this cat, I’m sure she can sense her in the next room over. This has been going on for months. I cannot get another cat to be her playmate.
I’ve thought about fostering her for the remaining time I’m here, but that feels like a selfish decision. I’ll be here for 7 more months, so I’m sure she will bond with her new owners and other cats, I’d feel awful ripping her away from them.
Should I rehome her? I have access to the resources to be sure she goes to a kind family. I just want her to be as happy as she can be.
Hello A afuller6 and kitten, and welcome to TCS! Your last paragraph is hopeful -- does this mean you know a prospective adopter who will provide a loving home for her? If so, this might be something to consider. If not, though, it's a tough call. With the last Surgeon General having decreed spay/neuter/TNR "elective" rather than the essential service it is, the work of so many of us in the advocacy movement has been undermined and many, many kittens have been born during the pandemic which is still very much ongoing. A lot of people have abandoned and betrayed their "pandemic 'pets'" as well as turning in their cats for idiotic reasons, etc. So I would STRONGLY consider keeping her if you do not have a guaranteed responsible, loving home that wants to adopt her.
 

danteshuman

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If in 7 months you can move out and then get her a litter mate; that may be the best move.

Iis a tough call. Can you harness walk her every day? Will your room mate con scent to play dates every other day for a couple of hourswith hee cat? How does her cat feel about the separation? Cats are not solitary creatures!!!

I have an only kitty but he gets to go to Nana’s house almost every weekend; to spend the night. That way he can play with her 4 cats, one who is his brother & bff. As a win, her cat is calmer after the boys get some wrestle time together.

All that said rehoming her might be best for her (to a loving secure home with a male resident cat.) However my cat is super attached to me and has some seperation anxiety. He would not have been better off being rehomed! If you rehome female cats often will not get along & you need to match your cat’s temperament with the resident cat’s temperament. So for example don’t adopt a hyper insecure cat when your resident cat is calm and passive! I did this and my kitten bullied his older brother whenever he got bored; his entire life. They still loved each other though.

I’m not sure what the right call is though. I think you need to think about it, remember that your life will change a lot in the next few years and follow your instincts.
 

FetchingCat

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It sounds like your cat and your roommate's cat are already bonded. Your roommate's insistence is very frustrating. Also kind of selfish. Some cats need cat companions.

Are you able to get a second cat once you move out? Cats can rebond with new cats.

If you're going to rehome the cat, do it now, while she's still a desirable little kitten. Make sure it's to a home where she'll have a young kitty friend. Older cats have harder times finding homes.

I doubt you'll find someone willing to foster her for just 7 months. That also makes no sense to me. Cats don't do well with moves.

Sorry about what you're going through. You're a very kind and conscientious pet parent. I hope this all works out.
 

ArtNJ

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Millions of people have a cat in a studio. Cats do pretty well in small spaces. The real problem here is that a playmate has been taken away, and the kitten can still smell her. And thats torturing both of you, and probably the other kitten as well. Its a useless misguided move that is making both kittens unhappy.

Best solution? Maybe you can get your roommate to read the comments. Failing that, whatever decision you think best will be reasonable. Just, if you go that route, make sure that wherever your at, the kitten can be rehomed.
 

tarasgirl06

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Actually, since I work in cat activism, I know that fosters can indeed be found for finite periods (such as 7 months) and that people can and do adopt adult cats. And having moved many times in my life, almost all of them with cats, I know that cats are adaptable and that they can and do move well. Always keep cats indoors, for their safety and health and your peace of mind. I hope and pray that you can keep her and that you are able to communicate with your roomie about your kitten and their cat interacting.
 

Anne2021

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If in 7 months you can move out and then get her a litter mate; that may be the best move.

Iis a tough call. Can you harness walk her every day? Will your room mate con scent to play dates every other day for a couple of hourswith hee cat? How does her cat feel about the separation? Cats are not solitary creatures!!!

I have an only kitty but he gets to go to Nana’s house almost every weekend; to spend the night. That way he can play with her 4 cats, one who is his brother & bff. As a win, her cat is calmer after the boys get some wrestle time together.

All that said rehoming her might be best for her (to a loving secure home with a male resident cat.) However my cat is super attached to me and has some seperation anxiety. He would not have been better off being rehomed! If you rehome female cats often will not get along & you need to match your cat’s temperament with the resident cat’s temperament. So for example don’t adopt a hyper insecure cat when your resident cat is calm and passive! I did this and my kitten bullied his older brother whenever he got bored; his entire life. They still loved each other though.

I’m not sure what the right call is though. I think you need to think about it, remember that your life will change a lot in the next few years and follow your instincts.
danteshuman, I happened upon this thread today. I am still dealing with issues with my cats (both female, Josie and Bailey), which you gave me some advice on a couple of weeks ago. (New high energy cat is exhausting me) When I read this today, I wondered, how did you know they still loved each other? Things are shifting here, in the wrong direction. When I read that your kitten bullied his older brother whenever he got bored for his entire life, I thought, that's where I see this going. I wondered what you saw - did they sleep together, or bathe each other, or other signs?
 

danteshuman

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Because when he wasn’t hyper they got along just fine. They often slept a foot or two apart. I thought they were more frenemies, not close friends. Then Dante died and Salem grieved his loss for a year!
BCCE24F6-908F-4424-96DA-65FDC03EFDFB.jpeg
Now Jackie & Nick are bff! I can easily tell because they love to play fight together & theh sleep next to each other or like this. Also when next had to have half his tail amputated Jackie was the first to go near him. You could see Nick’s instant relief & relaxation when Nick started grooming/licking Jackie.


271350C6-EE1A-4EF4-908D-D6C25F024C41.jpeg
718A4560-A837-4ED0-B3D0-96EC020848BF.jpeg
 

tarasgirl06

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Because when he wasn’t hyper they got along just fine. They often slept a foot or two apart. I thought they were more frenemies, not close friends. Then Dante died and Salem grieved his loss for a year!
View attachment 403119
Now Jackie & Nick are bff! I can easily tell because they love to play fight together & theh sleep next to each other or like this. Also when next had to have half his tail amputated Jackie was the first to go near him. You could see Nick’s instant relief & relaxation when Nick started grooming/licking Jackie.


View attachment 403120
View attachment 403121
Those are very wonderful pix, danteshuman danteshuman and I am so happy to see these loving bonds between cats! :yess::cheerleader::goldstar::loveeyes::lovecat3::lovecat3:
 

Anne2021

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Because when he wasn’t hyper they got along just fine. They often slept a foot or two apart. I thought they were more frenemies, not close friends. Then Dante died and Salem grieved his loss for a year!
View attachment 403119
Now Jackie & Nick are bff! I can easily tell because they love to play fight together & theh sleep next to each other or like this. Also when next had to have half his tail amputated Jackie was the first to go near him. You could see Nick’s instant relief & relaxation when Nick started grooming/licking Jackie.


View attachment 403120
View attachment 403121
Thank you for elaborating. Beautiful pictures again.
 
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