Should I get another cat

Clair

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I have two cats, a territorial female about 7 years old and a one year old male. The female cat does not get along with the male. He adores her and follows her around trying to play or get her attention (which drives her crazy). She swats at him and he thinks they are playing. She is not afraid of him and sometimes allows him to sleep near her. She likes to spend her time with me while he loves to be very social. Will getting him a similar aged playmate help? His attention would be diverted. Or will it simply drive the older cat over the edge.
 

ArtNJ

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Some people say yes. Some report that it did help. I don't know that I've seen anyone report that it actually made things worse, but certainly having two kittens doesn't guarranty that an older cat doesn't get bothered. I had two kittens and an older cat that was very growly and hissy with the more active kitten. They eventually fought, with biting. So I don't know, it seems to me that there is a risk of making things worse, and certainly a risk it won't help. It seems better practice to me to only get another kitten if you actually want one.
 

daftcat75

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Older cats are more set in their ways. But not totally rigid and unchangeable. I'd give it more time. Let him grow up and mellow out. Let her continue to teach him her limits. I think they'll grow closer together or at least less combative as he becomes less kitten-ish with age.
 

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Will getting him a similar aged playmate help? His attention would be diverted. Or will it simply drive the older cat over the edge.
If you can financially afford to, and have the space,...then Yes, I would get a third kitten or young cat, to play with your playful male.
Probably another kitten or young male, since I find that females, as they get out of kittenhood, prefer a different play-style to male cats.
(At least mine does. She prefers the follow strings and feather games, while the male cat prefers to wrestle and run.)

Though, I do recall female cats when I was younger, who played as much as the males...so I figure it depends on personality.
Try to match up with one you would think is suitable to your male cat's personality, but also not bothersome for the female.
Not too pushy, but not too shy.

I do think what daftcat75 daftcat75 ...wrote above is true though,...They do "grow up and mellow out" with age.
 

Mamanyt1953

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If you decide on another cat, try to make a good match with your younger male. GET A MALE, about the same age, same apparent activity level. DO NOT GET A FEMALE. Females are decidedly more territorial, and a second female would make your resident female worse. Their instinct is to keep territory safe and secure for kittens. That instinct remains even after the possibility of kittens is gone entirely. Regardless, your resident female will feel it, and have her nose out of joint for a bit. However, if you've matched the males well, once she realizes that they aren't in her hair anymore, she'll relax.
 
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Clair

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Some people say yes. Some report that it did help. I don't know that I've seen anyone report that it actually made things worse, but certainly having two kittens doesn't guarranty that an older cat doesn't get bothered. I had two kittens and an older cat that was very growly and hissy with the more active kitten. They eventually fought, with biting. So I don't know, it seems to me that there is a risk of making things worse, and certainly a risk it won't help. It seems better practice to me to only get another kitten if you actually want one.
Thank you for your reply. I really want another cat but I don't want the older cat to go nuts. She already is unhappy that I brought home the younger cat.
 
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Clair

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Older cats are more set in their ways. But not totally rigid and unchangeable. I'd give it more time. Let him grow up and mellow out. Let her continue to teach him her limits. I think they'll grow closer together or at least less combative as he becomes less kitten-ish with age.
Thank you. They say cats are "young" for two years so I guess I have one more year of refereeing before I get some peace
 
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Clair

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If you can financially afford to, and have the space,...then Yes, I would get a third kitten or young cat, to play with your playful male.
Probably another kitten or young male, since I find that females, as they get out of kittenhood, prefer a different play-style to male cats.
(At least mine does. She prefers the follow strings and feather games, while the male cat prefers to wrestle and run.)

Though, I do recall female cats when I was younger, who played as much as the males...so I figure it depends on personality.
Try to match up with one you would think is suitable to your male cat's personality, but also not bothersome for the female.
Not too pushy, but not too shy.

I do think what daftcat75 daftcat75 ...wrote above is true though,...They do "grow up and mellow out" with age.
I notice that play style is different. Both my cats are from the shelter so I don't know what the older female cat was like as a kitten but the male cat loves to fight/wrestle/chase.
 
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Clair

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If you decide on another cat, try to make a good match with your younger male. GET A MALE, about the same age, same apparent activity level. DO NOT GET A FEMALE. Females are decidedly more territorial, and a second female would make your resident female worse. Their instinct is to keep territory safe and secure for kittens. That instinct remains even after the possibility of kittens is gone entirely. Regardless, your resident female will feel it, and have her nose out of joint for a bit. However, if you've matched the males well, once she realizes that they aren't in her hair anymore, she'll relax.
This is good advice. I will wait til the animal shelter gets a young male. I find it difficult to determine the cat's personality since they have been caged. They told me my older female was "laid back" but she is a high maintenance prima donna (but I love her).
 

ArtNJ

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I find it difficult to determine the cat's personality since they have been caged. They told me my older female was "laid back" but she is a high maintenance prima donna (but I love her).
I think that is a general truth; you can't really tell from what the cat is like in the shelter what it will be like in your home. Especially true with kittens, as they change FAST.

Since YOU want another kitten, I'd go for it. Maybe it will help, maybe it won't, but its not too likely to make things worse.
 
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Clair

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I think that is a general truth; you can't really tell from what the cat is like in the shelter what it will be like in your home. Especially true with kittens, as they change FAST.

Since YOU want another kitten, I'd go for it. Maybe it will help, maybe it won't, but its not too likely to make things worse.
Yeah, that is what I was hoping the consensus would be. Never met a cat I did not love.
 

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I think if you have the space and time to do proper introductions it might be ok. I would suggest fostering to see if you can find one that is a perfect fit for both your cats :) I would recommend ensuring you have at least 3 cat trees placed in high value spots currently, and 3 litter boxes placed around the house. And think about adding an extra litter box and cat tree. Cat shelves are great for homes that aren't too big as it increases cat territory. A one year old cat has a ton of energy so you want to burn off their energy. Cats become socially mature at age 2 - 4 which can lead to some fighting/complaining. Do try to play out your younger cat 2-4 times a day. Use wand toy play time to really get the cat tired. Feeding use food puzzles also burns off energy to.
 

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keep in mind also that cats calm down a lot during life ... swatting isn't a sign of major aggression - it is more a mild annoyed behavior meant to discipline a relentless youngster- kittens would receive the same behavior from their moms ... who will teach them independence by letting them know that " no- leave me alone " ... If they sometimes sleep close ... there isn't huge animosity between them - the older they get the calmer they both are ... not all cats become bonded... some will be " roomies" and reach a peaceful truce which is perfectly fine. I have two adult cats and foster kittens ... one of them loves babies and will become their mom - often right away, the other needs 3-4 months to allow kittens to sleep with her ( but eventually accepts them once they have learned their manners it seems lol ) ... Another kitten will change the dynamics - it can make things better or ... worse ... every cat is an individual with their own personality ... some are social by nature, some are not, some are wild ones ( who rarely get accepted by a calm adult right away ) , some shy or careful - just like people not two are ever the same and cats build friendships like we do - I introduced my first two kittens to my adult male many years ago and he LOVED them instantly - he was the most cat friendly boy ever... and I have introduced kittens who never really warmed up with some of my cats ...
 
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Clair

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I think if you have the space and time to do proper introductions it might be ok. I would suggest fostering to see if you can find one that is a perfect fit for both your cats :) I would recommend ensuring you have at least 3 cat trees placed in high value spots currently, and 3 litter boxes placed around the house. And think about adding an extra litter box and cat tree. Cat shelves are great for homes that aren't too big as it increases cat territory. A one year old cat has a ton of energy so you want to burn off their energy. Cats become socially mature at age 2 - 4 which can lead to some fighting/complaining. Do try to play out your younger cat 2-4 times a day. Use wand toy play time to really get the cat tired. Feeding use food puzzles also burns off energy to.
Thank you. My boy does not care for wands but loves to be chased and to chase so we do that.
 
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Clair

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keep in mind also that cats calm down a lot during life ... swatting isn't a sign of major aggression - it is more a mild annoyed behavior meant to discipline a relentless youngster- kittens would receive the same behavior from their moms ... who will teach them independence by letting them know that " no- leave me alone " ... If they sometimes sleep close ... there isn't huge animosity between them - the older they get the calmer they both are ... not all cats become bonded... some will be " roomies" and reach a peaceful truce which is perfectly fine. I have two adult cats and foster kittens ... one of them loves babies and will become their mom - often right away, the other needs 3-4 months to allow kittens to sleep with her ( but eventually accepts them once they have learned their manners it seems lol ) ... Another kitten will change the dynamics - it can make things better or ... worse ... every cat is an individual with their own personality ... some are social by nature, some are not, some are wild ones ( who rarely get accepted by a calm adult right away ) , some shy or careful - just like people not two are ever the same and cats build friendships like we do - I introduced my first two kittens to my adult male many years ago and he LOVED them instantly - he was the most cat friendly boy ever... and I have introduced kittens who never really warmed up with some of my cats ...
Thank you, good to know. Swatting and growling but no real violence so I just have to wait til he grows up.
 
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Clair

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I think if you have the space and time to do proper introductions it might be ok. I would suggest fostering to see if you can find one that is a perfect fit for both your cats :) I would recommend ensuring you have at least 3 cat trees placed in high value spots currently, and 3 litter boxes placed around the house. And think about adding an extra litter box and cat tree. Cat shelves are great for homes that aren't too big as it increases cat territory. A one year old cat has a ton of energy so you want to burn off their energy. Cats become socially mature at age 2 - 4 which can lead to some fighting/complaining. Do try to play out your younger cat 2-4 times a day. Use wand toy play time to really get the cat tired. Feeding use food puzzles also burns off energy to.
Thank you. I have 2 cat trees (one for each but they use both) and 3 litter boxes (2+1)
 
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