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I truly cannot believe I am making this post right now. Yesterday May 25th, 2020, I had to say goodbye to another one of my babies. Her name was Sparkles and she was 18 years old. I am shocked and heart broken. Sparkles was my second oldest of 4 cats. A year and a half ago I lost my oldest baby named Rosie and that absolutely broke me, till this day my heart still aches, it was the hardest thing I ever had to go through. It was the first time ever losing a pet.
I promised myself after what happened with Rosie, because of how traumatizing it was, I made a promise that I wouldn't let any vet convince me to put another one of my cats to sleep if it had come to it. I wanted with all my heart to let her pass on her own when the time came because I always felt so guilty and horrible for having to accept the decision of putting her to sleep, even though I knew deep down in my heart something was wrong and my baby was very very sick. It was my first time ever going through losing a pet and it was the most devastating experience. I kept hoping that the rest of my other 3 cats stay healthy for a long long time because I can't go through that again. My heart cannot handle it.
Unfortunately, no matter how much I hoped, another one of my babies fell ill. It happened so quick I just can't believe it. Sparkles was always so healthy and active. She loved to run around and play all the time, she was elderly but that never stopped her. In fact, I have never seen an elderly cat run around and play the way she did. Sparkles was 16 years old at the time I lost my sweet Rosie, but she never had any issues. She always ate exceptionally well, never had any litter box problems, she was just an all around healthy and strong cat.
Now 1.5 years later, at 18 years old everything changed drastically. A couple months ago she started vomiting up brown liquid with a very strong odor. I thought she had an upset stomach because I had given her some treats on accident with an expired sell by date. This continued to happen a few more times here and there and then she just stopped vomiting and was doing a lot better About a month or two later she then started urinating and sometimes defecating outside of her litter box that worried me because she had never done that before. 2 weeks ago I got her a new litter box because I thought maybe she just didnt want to go in her other one anymore. The new litter box helped a lot. there were a few times when she still went outside of the litter box but for the most part she would use the litter box anytime she needed to urinate. I started to notice about a week ago that she wasnt defecting as regularly as she used to, and when she did it was very dark, hard and small.. I had seen the same thing with my Rosie when she was near the end. There were a few times when I also noticed she was trying to push and pass stool but couldn't (Rosie also did this the last 2 days) I started to worry a lot because she was showing similar signs that Rosie had shown. I did everything I could to get her to have regular bowel movements, I gave her more wet food, lots of water, she would go every 2 or 3 days and it would be small and hard again. About 3 days ago she began to lose interest in her food,she always had a great appetite, i never had to worry that she was eating too little but that suddenly changed she would only eat a little bit here and there and day by day she ate less. I tried so much to get her to eat i tried to syringe feed her, I gave her treats and nutri cal. But she began to look thinner and thinner no matter what I did and soon I started to feel every bone in her body, she also seemed to start to lose strength in her hind legs, that happened suddenly, and by the second day she could hardly put any weight on her back legs. Then she quickly began to wobble when she walked( i also saw this with my Rosie at the end) two nights before her last day she just seemed so weak and no longer able to get from place to place as easily as she used to. She could no longer jump, and when she walked her head would shake, i don't know if it was because had gotten so thin or what exactly but she started to look very very thin and when i pet her i couldn't feel anything but bones.The last day was the hardest and scariest for me. To me she looked like she was dying, the morning of the last day she was refusing all food and all water completely. It was like her mouth was frozen shut, I tried to give her some baby food but she hardly let me get anything in. As the hours went on she would walk a few wobbly steps then lay down. She went to lay in a dark closet away from everyone and everything. She had this dead look in her eyes, she was not reacting to anything or anyone around her. Her eyes were sunken. About an hour or so later she could no long stand up or move at all, she fell and laid on her side with the same look on her face. It looked like she couldn't see, she just laid there like that and it was like her entire body gave out completely, like it was no longer functioning. My heart broke when i realized how slow her heart was beating and how slow her breathing was. I tried to carry her but she was completely floppy, and felt like nothing but bones, she looked like she could pass at any moment and she looked like she was suffering. I just couldn't watch her waste away any further so I took her to the ER vet. She was still not moving at all, her body had lost all function. I was not allowed to go in with her at the ER vet due to the coronavirus, I had to wait in the car for the ER doc to examine her then he would call me and tell me what he thinks. I already knew what he was going to tell me. I knew that there would be no coming back from this. She already looked dead even though she was still breathing and her heart was beating but she looked frozen. When the doctor called me he told me that my sweet sparkles was very very ill. He thinks she may have cancer, kidney disease, some kind of metabolic disease, or multi organ failure. He said the best thing to do would be to put her to sleep. He said this is not something that can get better and if he did a blood test all it would be for was me, but he told me that sparkles looks like she wants to die and he said if i let her pass at home her death would be extremely painful and she will suffer a lot. She was already suffering. I knew in my heart I couldn't let her suffer any further this way, she looked like she would have passed at any moment, she was down to 4lbs, her vision was shot, her body was no longer functioning. The vet described her attitude as Obtunded. I agreed that it would be kinder and best to put her to sleep because I just couldn't let her suffer any more pain than she had already. They brought her out for me to say Goodbye and when i saw her,she couldnt lift her head it was down and floppy she still couldnt move, she was at the very end. I know this was the right thing to do, the kindest thing to do. As hard as it is to have to make that choice, I knew that was already dying her mouth had become pale and purplish, she was not going to make it for much longer, i know in my heart that this was the right thing to do, though I promised myself before I wouldn't let another vet convince me to do it, it would have been horrible of me to let her suffer further.
I am devastated that it had to be this way. I can't believe I have lost 2 cats in less than 2 years. All of my kitties are seniors so I know of course they aren't gonna live forever, but it's so hard losing two of my babies so close to each other. I started with 4 beautiful cats and now I have 2... It's so sad
RIP my beautiful angel Sparkles, I love you very much
I promised myself after what happened with Rosie, because of how traumatizing it was, I made a promise that I wouldn't let any vet convince me to put another one of my cats to sleep if it had come to it. I wanted with all my heart to let her pass on her own when the time came because I always felt so guilty and horrible for having to accept the decision of putting her to sleep, even though I knew deep down in my heart something was wrong and my baby was very very sick. It was my first time ever going through losing a pet and it was the most devastating experience. I kept hoping that the rest of my other 3 cats stay healthy for a long long time because I can't go through that again. My heart cannot handle it.
Unfortunately, no matter how much I hoped, another one of my babies fell ill. It happened so quick I just can't believe it. Sparkles was always so healthy and active. She loved to run around and play all the time, she was elderly but that never stopped her. In fact, I have never seen an elderly cat run around and play the way she did. Sparkles was 16 years old at the time I lost my sweet Rosie, but she never had any issues. She always ate exceptionally well, never had any litter box problems, she was just an all around healthy and strong cat.
Now 1.5 years later, at 18 years old everything changed drastically. A couple months ago she started vomiting up brown liquid with a very strong odor. I thought she had an upset stomach because I had given her some treats on accident with an expired sell by date. This continued to happen a few more times here and there and then she just stopped vomiting and was doing a lot better About a month or two later she then started urinating and sometimes defecating outside of her litter box that worried me because she had never done that before. 2 weeks ago I got her a new litter box because I thought maybe she just didnt want to go in her other one anymore. The new litter box helped a lot. there were a few times when she still went outside of the litter box but for the most part she would use the litter box anytime she needed to urinate. I started to notice about a week ago that she wasnt defecting as regularly as she used to, and when she did it was very dark, hard and small.. I had seen the same thing with my Rosie when she was near the end. There were a few times when I also noticed she was trying to push and pass stool but couldn't (Rosie also did this the last 2 days) I started to worry a lot because she was showing similar signs that Rosie had shown. I did everything I could to get her to have regular bowel movements, I gave her more wet food, lots of water, she would go every 2 or 3 days and it would be small and hard again. About 3 days ago she began to lose interest in her food,she always had a great appetite, i never had to worry that she was eating too little but that suddenly changed she would only eat a little bit here and there and day by day she ate less. I tried so much to get her to eat i tried to syringe feed her, I gave her treats and nutri cal. But she began to look thinner and thinner no matter what I did and soon I started to feel every bone in her body, she also seemed to start to lose strength in her hind legs, that happened suddenly, and by the second day she could hardly put any weight on her back legs. Then she quickly began to wobble when she walked( i also saw this with my Rosie at the end) two nights before her last day she just seemed so weak and no longer able to get from place to place as easily as she used to. She could no longer jump, and when she walked her head would shake, i don't know if it was because had gotten so thin or what exactly but she started to look very very thin and when i pet her i couldn't feel anything but bones.The last day was the hardest and scariest for me. To me she looked like she was dying, the morning of the last day she was refusing all food and all water completely. It was like her mouth was frozen shut, I tried to give her some baby food but she hardly let me get anything in. As the hours went on she would walk a few wobbly steps then lay down. She went to lay in a dark closet away from everyone and everything. She had this dead look in her eyes, she was not reacting to anything or anyone around her. Her eyes were sunken. About an hour or so later she could no long stand up or move at all, she fell and laid on her side with the same look on her face. It looked like she couldn't see, she just laid there like that and it was like her entire body gave out completely, like it was no longer functioning. My heart broke when i realized how slow her heart was beating and how slow her breathing was. I tried to carry her but she was completely floppy, and felt like nothing but bones, she looked like she could pass at any moment and she looked like she was suffering. I just couldn't watch her waste away any further so I took her to the ER vet. She was still not moving at all, her body had lost all function. I was not allowed to go in with her at the ER vet due to the coronavirus, I had to wait in the car for the ER doc to examine her then he would call me and tell me what he thinks. I already knew what he was going to tell me. I knew that there would be no coming back from this. She already looked dead even though she was still breathing and her heart was beating but she looked frozen. When the doctor called me he told me that my sweet sparkles was very very ill. He thinks she may have cancer, kidney disease, some kind of metabolic disease, or multi organ failure. He said the best thing to do would be to put her to sleep. He said this is not something that can get better and if he did a blood test all it would be for was me, but he told me that sparkles looks like she wants to die and he said if i let her pass at home her death would be extremely painful and she will suffer a lot. She was already suffering. I knew in my heart I couldn't let her suffer any further this way, she looked like she would have passed at any moment, she was down to 4lbs, her vision was shot, her body was no longer functioning. The vet described her attitude as Obtunded. I agreed that it would be kinder and best to put her to sleep because I just couldn't let her suffer any more pain than she had already. They brought her out for me to say Goodbye and when i saw her,she couldnt lift her head it was down and floppy she still couldnt move, she was at the very end. I know this was the right thing to do, the kindest thing to do. As hard as it is to have to make that choice, I knew that was already dying her mouth had become pale and purplish, she was not going to make it for much longer, i know in my heart that this was the right thing to do, though I promised myself before I wouldn't let another vet convince me to do it, it would have been horrible of me to let her suffer further.
I am devastated that it had to be this way. I can't believe I have lost 2 cats in less than 2 years. All of my kitties are seniors so I know of course they aren't gonna live forever, but it's so hard losing two of my babies so close to each other. I started with 4 beautiful cats and now I have 2... It's so sad
RIP my beautiful angel Sparkles, I love you very much