She Has Gone And The Guilt Is Eating Me Up

[SteveJohn]

Our 17 year old cat was put down a couple of days ago due to bladder stones.

After finding her meowing in the house, hiding and going from room to room aswell as not eating we knew something was wrong. She also couldn't get comfy and keep moving position.

After taking her to the Vet they recommended a scan and some blood tests. This was all done and I got a phone call to say that she has bladder stones and quite big ones in areas that they can't gurentee surgery would remove them all.

After a conversation on the phone with the Vet the lady said that because of her age and the fact nothing was certain due to the location of the stones maybe it would be a kind thing to not put her through the surgery at her end and it is a big operation.

After thinking about what she said, her age and even more so what she has already been through getting knocked down and having pins in her back leg aswell as many trips to the Vet for other injuries we decided that whilst she was pain free and still slightly sedated that putting her down would be the kind thing to do.

The cost of the surgery was around £1200-£1500 which i stil think should I have just paid it and given her a chance but I didn't want her to suffer or be in pain anymore and risk any complications after the operation.

We all went to see her before we let her go, she was sleepy and still sedated, watery eyes from the scan she had just had. We stayed with her for a little while and said out goodbyes and she was then let go.

I just can't forgive myself though, I cared for her so much and watched her go through so much too. At 17 and with what she has gone through I am just hoping I did the right thing and not jumped the gun. Putting an old cat through all that surgery and recovery with chances of more pain were hard to take so letting her go sleep peacefully was maybe the right thing to do.

I don't know but the pain now for me and my family is something I didn't think would stab us this deep.

 

[daisyd]

Please don't feel bad you did what you thought was best for the fur baby and the vets advice too . It will hurt but she was very unwell . X

 

[les26]

You were in a tough situation, but I think you did the right thing no matter how hard it was, for her sake. I can relate because years ago we had Sassy, who was getting older, and one morning Deb woke me up and said "Sassy can't move, it's like her back legs are paralyzed", so we raced her to the emergency vet, and after tests and an MRI they said that she had a herniated disc in her back, who knows from what, they could operate and they gave her a 60% percent chance to walk again, so we did it, and took her to therapy for months, and had hopes she would recover, but she never did, and we ended up putting her down, and Deb to this day regrets that we put her through that, but I keep saying we made the decision, if someone told me I had a 60% chance to walk again I myself would say "go for it", we did what we thought was best at the time and cannot look back now and neither can you, we as you did what we thought was right, they are fine now, no more suffering, 17 is a long life and she was probably ready to go, you did a sweet act of kindness helping her get out of her pain, the operation itself might have killed her which would have been terrible, this way she left her pain filled body in a peaceful way, don't look back and beat yourself up, it is easy to do and normal but it is just the grief talking, you did your best and the best for her.

I hope your heart heals a bit more each day, it will take time, hang in there, God Bless.....

 

[SteveJohn]

Please don't feel bad you did what you thought was best for the fur baby and the vets advice too . It will hurt but she was very unwell . X

The Vet recommended she was put down which I wish they hadn't because of her age. I've always said whatever there age if they can have a good quality of life it shouldn't matter. But with what she has been through and the Vet saying there was no guarantee they can remove them all it kind of swayed us to let her go peacefully.

It's only been a short while and the pain is horrendous, if I'm honest back then before I got her I used to think why do people get so attached to their pets like a human but now I know why, they are part of the family.

 

[SteveJohn]

You were in a tough situation, but I think you did the right thing no matter how hard it was, for her sake. I can relate because years ago we had Sassy, who was getting older, and one morning Deb woke me up and said "Sassy can't move, it's like her back legs are paralyzed", so we raced her to the emergency vet, and after tests and an MRI they said that she had a herniated disc in her back, who knows from what, they could operate and they gave her a 60% percent chance to walk again, so we did it, and took her to therapy for months, and had hopes she would recover, but she never did, and we ended up putting her down, and Deb to this day regrets that we put her through that, but I keep saying we made the decision, if someone told me I had a 60% chance to walk again I myself would say "go for it", we did what we thought was best at the time and cannot look back now and neither can you, we as you did what we thought was right, they are fine now, no more suffering, 17 is a long life and she was probably ready to go, you did a sweet act of kindness helping her get out of her pain, the operation itself might have killed her which would have been terrible, this way she left her pain filled body in a peaceful way, don't look back and beat yourself up, it is easy to do and normal but it is just the grief talking, you did your best and the best for her.

I hope your heart heals a bit more each day, it will take time, hang in there, God Bless.....

Thank you for the kind words

 

[daisyd]

They are part of the family and we do get attached . I hope you feel better soon . Sounds like she was well cared for loved and happy x

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Rest you gentle, Sweet Lady, dream you deep. You walk in someone's heart forever.

No, don't second-guess that decision. Your cat was about 84 years old, in human years, and at that age, radical surgery is a torment. They don't heal like they did even 3-4 years ago. You did the right thing in putting her comfort and well being ahead of your own want and need to keep her there at any cost. Bless you.

 

[di and bob]

I cry for your pain, the loss of a loved one brings on grief, no matter the age or circumstances. I have a seventeen year old that had surgery for an abscess a few months ago, and he has declined in health since. When they are at the age they are, surgery is difficult and healing is very much delayed, an 80% chance in a 5 year old, may be 20% in the elderly. The anesthesia alone can bring organ and brain changes that are difficult to overcome in the elderly. I know this from my experiences in the human elderly, the changes are often permanent and almost impossible to overcome. There are no guarantees at that age, and we have to weigh the odds of recovery, or the option to let them go and to end the suffering. There is no way to look into the future, so too many times we prolong what nature would end. I would rather go through the incredible suffering of a broken heart than to bring one more moment of suffering.
Your precious girl would be the last one to want to bring you grief. She would want you to remember the happy times, not dwell on the sad, she loves you too much to bring such pain. She shared your life for a while, and now she follows a new path, one that will be tied to yours for eternity, because love is spiritual and can never fail us like the body. Use this bond and those memories to bring yourself comfort, she took a piece of your heart when she left to always be connected to you, she left a piece of hers behind to give you her legacy of love. This love will forever surround you and guide you through life, she will always be near, held tenderly in that special place in your heart. You gave her what she wanted the most in life, a wonderful home and your love for 17 years. Celebrate that life, don't fall into the depths of grief so deep you can't climb out. She only wants sunshine and happiness for for those she loves above all else, just as you would want for her if you were the first to go.
My heart goes out to you, please know I'll keep you all in my thoughts and prayers, take care.......RIP sweet little girl, you will be dearlly missed, but never forgotten. Send what comfort you can from the Rainbow Bridge, where you lie in that special spot of sun and wait for your path to cross once more with those of who you love. Goodnight, sleep tight, precious princess!

 

[SteveJohn]

Thanks to everyone for the kind words.