Made the painful decision to euthanize my 10 year old sweetheart Shadow on 9/14. So unexpected. He and his littermate brother Velvet went to the vet for routine exams and a distemper. First time with this vet. Shadow went into respiratory distress and had to be rused to urgent care. Sadly xrays showed what the vet suspected could have been cancer. Previous vet diagnosed him as having a mild case of asthma because he coughed and wheezed from time to time. I am afraid that diagnosis may have been wrong. He showed no signs of illness whatsoever. I was and still am beside myself with misgivings and doubt. Vet said she would give him 3-6 months at best and that to send him home would have been inhumane. At the time I thought it the best for him. I miss him every minute of every day and his brother does too. This past Sunday I brought home a young black cat and call him Salem. What a sweet boy he is a cuddle bug and a kisser. Velvet was not amused hissing and growling and hiding under the bed but is slowly coming around to the new member of the household. He is on special diet due to stones he had several years back and kitten is on different food. The challenge is to feed them separately and make sure they don't eat each other's food. Velvet is still not himself and neither am I. I understand that grieving takes on different manifestations but my heart breaks with every day and memory I have of him. Wish he were home awaiting me to walk in. Every muscle and nerve in my body aches. His ashes paw prints and photos are a reminder of the sweet boy he will always be in my heart and memories. I miss you awful Shadow my love xoxo 
