Senior cat and kitten introduction attempt

[Meimaar]

My older cat Skittles is 9 years old and spayed, and she's very mean to say the least. We are not allowed to pick her up and can pet her for short periods on her own terms, and she's the type that will aggressively bite or scratch if she's mildly annoyed.

Recently we got a 70 days old kitten (Bella) and so I've been extremely careful about the introduction and taking it slowly. For the first 10 days I got them to get used to each others scent and then let them meet briefly for a week. For the past few days I arranged it so that they meet twice a day and have their meals, treats and play time together but at a reasonable distance.

The problem is that Skittles is extremely on guard, she keeps running at Bella and hissing and swatting and takes an aggressive stance preparing to attack so I have to separate them. Meanwhile, Bella is just... being a kitten. She literally just strolls towards skittles in a clueless manner while skittles prepares to wage war.

I can tell that the older cat means no harm and is just very scared, but there's been no progress for a week now. I let the kitten out and when Skittles sees her she starts roaming around her and getting closer and hissing/swatting. Does anyone have any ideas? I really would rather not rehome Bella if I could.

 

[di and bob]

All that is normal. Female cats are very territorial and do not want to share. Cats are 'hardwired' not to harm small kittens, so if you continue to get them together slowly she WILL adjust. The kitten will be extremely annoying to her. Your Skittles most likely has Overstimulation Aggression, my Chrissy had that too. Two strokes was all you give her before attack.
I wouldn't worry too much, things will all smooth out in time. My outside cat didn't even like her own kittens when she was weaning them, attacking and knocking them around. It took her almost a year to actually want to be around them again. All is peaceful now.
Just continue what you are doing. Young kittens like your Bella need direction and discipline while growing up to learn their manners and how to play nice. You think Skittles is being mean but she is really disciplining. Kittens learn this with their mother and siblings between the ages of 6 and 12 weeks. Skittles may growl, swat, hiss, and even pin the kitten to the ground, but as long as there is no blood, all is normal. Skittles needs a high place where she can observe the kitten, my Chrissy spent a lot of time on top the fridge. I even put her a bed up there. Please give her a lot of reassuring words, maybe even some treats when she is nice. Get a kickeroo on Amazon (I got two and keep one in a plastic bag with catnip to refresh them) and throw it towards the kitten if she looks like she is getting too close to Skittles. all the kitten knows right now is play. They are great distraction, and Skittles may even kick some of her aggression out of herself with one.
Good luck, cats are SO in to routine and you have really messed up Skittles'. She will adjust, these things just take time, possibly several months. The longest I had to introduce cats was a year, and even they got along in the end.

 

[rubysmama]

Hello and welcome to TCS.

di and bob pretty much posted everything I was thinking of saying, in regards to the interactions between an older cat and very young kitten, so I'll just post the link to this TCS article that might be helpful:

How To Introduce A Kitten To An Older Cat – TheCatSite Articles

Good luck. Hope in time Skittles and Bella become besties.

Oh, do keep an eye on Skittles to make sure she doesn't get too stressed, things like not eating normally or having litter box issues, etc.
TCS has this article on Stress in Cats – The Ultimate Guide – TheCatSite Articles in case you want to check it out.

 

[ArtNJ]

I think the gate step in the guide linked above (aka a 24/7 visual access step) can be helpful. But yes, I agree that where you are at is a pretty normal stage that happens sometimes.

I'm not a fan of brief meet and greets. Not enough time together to work through stuff. So when the time comes for them to be together, then you need to let them be together. An adult will not actually hurt a kitten -- these are "get away!" type swats, and not an indication that a true attack is likely. That doesn't necessarily mean its going to be totally fine -- the adult or sometimes even the kitten could show signs of extreme stress, and then you'd have to back up to a gate step. But most likely things will slowly improve towards toleration.

 

[Meimaar]

I think the gate step in the guide linked above (aka a 24/7 visual access step) can be helpful. But yes, I agree that where you are at is a pretty normal stage that happens sometimes.

I'm not a fan of brief meet and greets. Not enough time together to work through stuff. So when the time comes for them to be together, then you need to let them be together. An adult will not actually hurt a kitten -- these are "get away!" type swats, and not an indication that a true attack is likely. That doesn't necessarily mean its going to be totally fine -- the adult or sometimes even the kitten could show signs of extreme stress, and then you'd have to back up to a gate step. But most likely things will slowly improve towards toleration.

Thank you all for the generous advice, it's been reassuring to know that she won't hurt her so I have listened to your advice. I stopped the brief meetings per your recommendation and now I'm letting them both out when I'm home so they're interacting under my supervision. What's happening right now is that the older cat keeps running at the kitten and hissing and swatting then running away, repeating every 10 minutes. She never actually hit her though, but it doesn't seem like she's going to tone down but she's actually doing it more frequently. Should I leave it at that?

 

[ArtNJ]

The final step can take a while even when things are going well and destined for friendship. With an older cat, and if your working towards toleration, it can be particularly slow. The first stage of adjustment is for the older cat to get to relatively chill unless actively being bothered by the kitten. That usually doesn't take forever, but getting beyond that can be slow. You can try to distract them with affection, toys or treats, but that doesn't always work well (stressed cats dont always accept those things). Its helpful if the older cat has some places to get away, like a tall scratching post. Of course, a break for the older cat now and then, can help keep its stress level manageable. Some people recommend other things like feliway, cat music, calming collars and such, but I'm not sure how much those things really do. To me, its mostly time for them to adjust (mostly the older cat, kittens learning to chill out and respect boundaries can take forever).