Hi, I adopted an 18 month adult male cat a week ago. My elderly cat had passed and I am looking for a cat to be my companion again. Since I have had him home he has been much more timid than any cat I have known. He is scared still and has a hiding place made up for him under the bed. I give him his space but let him get used to my company by reading and doing quiet things near him. He likes to play at night and look out the window a lot but won't let me pet him. I think he is a lovely cat but am not sure if he is the right one for me as my cats have always been furbabys. I wonder will he become an affectionate cat eventually as I had hoped for a close companionship with my cat. There are other cats that need homes and am trying to bond with him but can't pet him. He is much less afraid, but does not want to come near me.
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Seeking advice about adopting a frightened cat
- Thread starter MichelleA
- Start Date
Have patience! One of my cats was a feral cat that moved in out of my yard. She spent the majority of her time under the bed initially. Slowly she became comfortable with getting in bed with me when I was laying down. Her way of asking for pets was (and sometimes still is, though much less often now) to walk barely within reach and face her butt at me. She liked being pet, but wasn't comfortable with the hand approaching her from in front.
Will he eat with you next to him? I find that's a good time to sneak in a pet, from behind, just on the top of their head. Outside of that letting them approach you is usually best. It's only been a week, so he probably is still uneasy in the new space. Make sure he has places that are "his" that aren't under the bed- a cat tree or bed or a perch by the window, etc. Hiding won't help him build his confidence but having spaces he can claim will definitely help.
Also, treats! He may be willing to approach you for treats. May not be OK with you petting him yet, but it can at least help him be more comfortable approaching you so he learns you aren't threatening and give him all the good stuff.
Oh and my feral cat, who I've had 11 years now, is a total sweetheart now who loves to lay on top of me when I'm in bed and has no problem petting herself with my hand when I don't do it myself. She can be very demanding of her pets LOL and no amount of petting is too much. Also it took her over ten years but she recently even started to head bump my face so I can kiss her forehead. It took a while before I could pet her from in front, but she sure did love her pets still when she would only accept them from behind.
It's only been a week, there's a good chance he will warm up to you and just needs to feel more secure in his new environment first BUT there is also a chance he may just never be as much of an affectionate cat. He's still your fur baby and you will still develop a bond, it just may be more through playing etc versus petting. Follow his lead, you'll figure it out!
Will he eat with you next to him? I find that's a good time to sneak in a pet, from behind, just on the top of their head. Outside of that letting them approach you is usually best. It's only been a week, so he probably is still uneasy in the new space. Make sure he has places that are "his" that aren't under the bed- a cat tree or bed or a perch by the window, etc. Hiding won't help him build his confidence but having spaces he can claim will definitely help.
Also, treats! He may be willing to approach you for treats. May not be OK with you petting him yet, but it can at least help him be more comfortable approaching you so he learns you aren't threatening and give him all the good stuff.
Oh and my feral cat, who I've had 11 years now, is a total sweetheart now who loves to lay on top of me when I'm in bed and has no problem petting herself with my hand when I don't do it myself. She can be very demanding of her pets LOL and no amount of petting is too much. Also it took her over ten years but she recently even started to head bump my face so I can kiss her forehead. It took a while before I could pet her from in front, but she sure did love her pets still when she would only accept them from behind.
It's only been a week, there's a good chance he will warm up to you and just needs to feel more secure in his new environment first BUT there is also a chance he may just never be as much of an affectionate cat. He's still your fur baby and you will still develop a bond, it just may be more through playing etc versus petting. Follow his lead, you'll figure it out!
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- #3
Thank you, it is encouraging to hear how well your cat has settled in and formed a close bond. At the moment he has mainly wanted to eat when I am not in the room, (including treats) unless at night time and he keeps checking over to see what I am doing. He has a cat tree beside the window and a play mat with toys. He goes to those at night and likes playing for awhile there. I have tried to play with him but he just watches the toys and later plays when I am sitting further away.
After reading your post I put another cat post near there which has a hiding box in it so he may like that and he likes the window ledge behind the curtain. He sometimes sits there at night and early morning as it is spring here and there are birds on the tree outside.
I am trying to be patient with him. It is because I had such a special bond with my cat that passed and miss having a cat with a bond. It has been a few days past a week but it is still not very long. I hope in time he may grow to like me and just needs to overcome the fear of a new environment.
After reading your post I put another cat post near there which has a hiding box in it so he may like that and he likes the window ledge behind the curtain. He sometimes sits there at night and early morning as it is spring here and there are birds on the tree outside.
I am trying to be patient with him. It is because I had such a special bond with my cat that passed and miss having a cat with a bond. It has been a few days past a week but it is still not very long. I hope in time he may grow to like me and just needs to overcome the fear of a new environment.
I have brought inside 6 feral cats. All were very timid and afraid of everything. The best piece of advice I can give you is to not allow him to hide under the bed. You will need to either put the bed flat on the floor or do your best to block under it. The same goes for other large pieces of furniture that he can get under or behind. When you are working on socializing timid cats, you need them out in the open. If you allow them to hide where they cannot see you, it makes the process very difficult. It is ok to have a hiding box or cat tree hiding box for him. Some cats like the cabanna style beds. This way you can see him and he can see you.
Have you tried any catnip? This can sometimes help to bring shy ones out of their shell.
Here is a great article on working with shy and timid cats.
resources.bestfriends.org
Have you tried any catnip? This can sometimes help to bring shy ones out of their shell.
Here is a great article on working with shy and timid cats.
Why Is My Cat Shy Around Strangers? Tips for Anxious Cats
Cats can be shy around strangers for several reasons. A common reason is lack of experience with visitors when the cats were kittens. If cats were not introduced to different people during their socialization period (2 to 7 weeks old), they might be more apprehensive around strangers as adults...
resources.bestfriends.org
Welcome to TCS! You have been given excellent advice! I concur that under the bed or behind furniture are undesirable places for "base camp".
shadowsrescue
has optimal suggestions. If your new kitty is not turning his back to you nor hissing at you, you are making progress. Be encouraged - he is showing a willingness to expand his territory when he goes to the window ledge.Likely, your boy has had negative experiences with humans so he reacts to them the same way that people who have been attacked by dogs react to future canines. Fortunately, cats are better at unspoken communication and are better able to overcome fears of individuals. With your excellent observational skills and good instincts, I predict your cat will soon enough be your heart's delight and you will be mentoring others in their taming-ferals journeys.
