Second Thoughts

PrinceOwner

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Hello. I know this is premature to say, but I just took in a stray kitten (maybe 5 weeks old) yesterday and I am having second thoughts. As soon as I saw a post about him and his siblings I immediately jumped at the chance to have my own cat. I bought everything he would need: litter box, bed, food, scratching post and toys. I told my family and friends about him and heading off to pick him up. He was so cute so I took him home to my apartment.

He is not litter box trained since he is still very much a baby. He likes to bit my fingers and toes and cling onto my clothes. But I just love when he looks up at me or headbutts my hand. I get such peace watching him sleep or eat. Petting him is such a lovely feeling. I just have never owned a pet before, let alone a kitten.

I am less than a year from graduating undergrad and have severe depression. Due to the unfortunate circumstances of COVID 19, I am isolated in my apartment. I don't know if I really wanted a kitten or if I just didn't want to be alone anymore. I slept for about 3 hours last night (this night since it is 3 am). I woke up with just an awful anxious feeling. He woke up at the sound of me waking up. So I played with him for an hour to tire him out so he would go back to bed and maybe I would too. Petting him calmed me down, but since he kept biting my fingers and toes I started to question whether or not I was ready to care for him.

I really wanted this to work out because I always start things I never finish but I am really scared. And I feel awful because I already spent over $100 on him and told my family and friends about him so I feel like I'm letting them and him down. But I also have this feeling like something bad is going to happen. Maybe he gets sick and I won't know how to care for him. Maybe my landlord finds out I have him and I get kicked out (there are no pets allowed in my apartment complex). Maybe he hurts me and I will be too afraid of him.

I just don't know what to do. I don't want the woman I got him from to think badly of me if I tell her I need to bring him back to her. I don't want to take him to a shelter where he won't get the attention he deserves. But I also don't want to have so much worry because it is affecting my physical health too. I just need advice or a second opinion.
 

Silver Crazy

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Petting him calmed me down
Thats why you have a kitten, they calm you down..make you laugh and give something in life to really enjoy..
Stick with it, forget the the self doubt and accept the fact you have something that is going share your life and love you forever.
Lots of people here to help you through..just ask if you need a bit of help.
 

di and bob

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Yes, you always have us to turn to when you need help. This could be a learning experience for you, try to relax and just accept him and the way things are. You are saving a life and getting someone to love and need you. We ALL have anxiety about new things or changes in our lives, cats also absolutely hate change. You are worrying about things that more than likely will never happen. I have found throughout life that worrying excessively about things that are in the future almost NEVER come true. Every new parent of a baby goes through this, everyone that faces a new job, a move, etc,. goes through it too, you are not alone.
Kittens are one big ball of energy. They are constantly on the go and then sleep just as hard. Both of you need to get into a routine and get to know each other. You will be exasperated, disappointed, mad, and joyful at times as all new relationships are. Things will settle down and you are at a period in your life that you are so lucky to be home and able to devote a little more time to that little baby. He will settle down in time and become a treasured part of your life if you let him. Remember a few rules, feed a kitten all they want often, get a few toys to play with him, clean the litterbox, and above all just enjoy all that kitten personality, it doesn't last forever. Make sure there are no dangers to him, like plastic bags, pails with water in them, poisons he can get in to, and watch that he doesn't start chewing cords. Gently discourage him from biting your fingers, give him a toy instead, I get kickeroos on Amazon, and cats love them. He is at the age where he needs to learn limits on how hard to bite, and when he grows up the bite won't be so easy to take. You just need time to adjust, please let us help you.....and welcome to the site!
 

minish

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I had sworn to never have a pet after my dog (lost due to my bad calculations on safety) and parakeet (died terribly over a period of months with something like pneumonia no vet could cure). Especially cats which seemed like aliens to me. But i ran into minish almost starving, felt very sorry and wanted to help her out. With friends' encouragement, I adopted her, didn't know how to manage her, then I learned on the way: raised her, trained her, played with her, shared my moods with her, now learning to make new toys and prepare home-made meals for her.
I have lived alone most my life, had frequent depressive episodes and never been too eager for social responsibilities. With this history, I can relate to your decision to adopt and your fears, but having minish is DEFINITELY one of the best decisions of my life.
There are tons of information including here about raising kittens, you will do great. Plus, pets are not only for petting and laughing at their antics, the sole fact that you will now have to put your mind into the well being of another being, now, that's the best cure for depression, hopefully for a very long time :)
 

Kiwikinon

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Actually, I just had a similar situation last week !
I cared for an lost kitten in the neighborhood, we asked around but he belonged to no one, and thought he might be abandoned, we took him in and I decided I was gonna take care of him.
I had a friend who landed me supplies for the night, at first he was so scared but adjusted quickly, later on the owner came and took him back.
I was so sad that my brother said he would get me one.

He found someone who was able to give One away, once the kitten was weaned, there was about a month left.
A week later we get a call at midnight and the owner said he couldn’t care for the kittens for some reason and gave them all away !
I was at my father’s place because I hadn’t see them in 2 month due to the pandemic, exams ... I was ready to stay there for a few weeks, but had to get back right away to care for the little one.
The kitten was so young he couldn’t walk properly ! And the material my brother prepared wasn’t appropriate for such a young kitten.
Fortunately I had already watched every kitten video on the internet, I kind of knew what to do, but still, it’s not an easy task to care for such a young baby.
I simply wasn’t ready, I had no money in the bank and scared I was gonna mess things up.
I couldn’t sleep, because I wouldn’t want him to wake up alone and hungry. I just watched and fed him day and night, stimulating him to go to the pee and poop, I slept at least 3 hours a night didn’t eat at all, I just didn’t feel like it. And just like you I was thinking of everything that could go wrong ! Wondering I was able to take care of him.

but now that we have our precious kitten home, we can’t let them down again, they have been under a lot of stress changing homes, just like us !
Another change is going to be hard on them so The best thing we could to for them is to try our best, no matter what happens !
The best life you can give your pets is one with love, And I’m sure you can’t do that !
It’s not going to be easy for both of you, it’s gonna be expensive, tiering for the first weeks but it’s gonna be worth it !

If you have any questions just ask here, wonderful people are willing to answer without judging.
Now my little guy is still adjusting, I’m still worried sick, at times checking if he’s breathing. (I know am paranoid!) monitoring him, he’s learning and so am I.
I’m just sad he isn’t with his family right now, sad he can’t experience what he was supposed to, but I’m doing my best, and it’s all that matters, I made mistakes but we will get through it together.

Your kitten might help you a lot, maybe taking your mind off things, helping you deal with depression, welcoming you home from work, giving you lots of love ! If you’re having seconds thought just think about the positive things.
Right now my little baby named Kiwi is sleeping on my lap and pooped on my bed this morning ! :lol:
let’s just cheer each other up and if anyone is facing difficulties let’s talk it out !
 

Norachan

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Does the woman you got him from still have his litter mates? 5 weeks old is very young to be on his own. Could you ask her if he could stay with the other kittens for a few more weeks? Or could you adopt two kittens? Young cats do much better in pairs, it will be easier for you to care for him if he has a friend.

Kittens are a lot of work, but they are very rewarding too.

Kitten Proofing Your Home: 13 Practical Tips

How To Train Kittens To Use The Litter Box

Therapy Cats: Can Your Cat Become One?
 
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PrinceOwner

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Does the woman you got him from still have his litter mates? 5 weeks old is very young to be on his own. Could you ask her if he could stay with the other kittens for a few more weeks? Or could you adopt two kittens? Young cats do much better in pairs, it will be easier for you to care for him if he has a friend.

Kittens are a lot of work, but they are very rewarding too.

Kitten Proofing Your Home: 13 Practical Tips

How To Train Kittens To Use The Litter Box

Therapy Cats: Can Your Cat Become One?
Unfortunately, yet also fortunately, all the kittens got new parents almost immediately. From what I was told, my kitten was the largest of the five kittens. The woman originally thought they were 8 weeks old but confessed to me after I brought him home that he was more like 5-7 months old.
 
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PrinceOwner

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Thank you all for you kind words of encouragement. I'm currently on my second restless night this week. Today felt better for a moment when I thought we were connecting. I put my face on the ground and let him take a look at my face. My glasses might have been what intrigued him but he inched closer and got very close to my face. He did not cry, bite or scratch as this moment, just looked at my face. Some time after though he became very aggressive. Has clawed all my body except my face. He nibbled on my fingers and toes earlier in the day and I was trying different methods to teach him not to. I would lightly blow on his face and this seemed to irritate him so I stopped. I then would grab a toy and put that between my hand and his mouth. I would also just try dangling or tossing a toy away from my hand. Both of these last two methods worked for a bit but then he just was constantly going for my toes and hands. I would reach to grab a toy and he would stop me by pouncing on that hand. If I already had a toy in my hand or close enough to where I could quickly grab, he would be interested for about a minute before returning to my toes or fingers. I tried keeping my hands up away from him and tossing him toys but he would start to jump onto my lap and claw my arm down.

I completely understand that since he is still very young that he is just playing but his biting has gotten harder and stronger. I think perhaps he has more confidence now too because he is very quick and bouncing from my toes to my hands to around my back (to claw at my back) to in between my legs to class at my thighs. He reacts so quickly that when I go to give him a toy or distract him with a toy or simply just to get him off when he claws or bites me too roughly, he just squirms and then sees this as an opportunity to attach my fingers. It reached a point to where I could no longer tell if he was just playing or actually irritated/in attack mode. I'm not bleeding but he has ripped some skin off so I do not want to get to the point where he does claw so aggressively that I bleed.
 
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PrinceOwner

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Unfortunately, yet also fortunately, all the kittens got new parents almost immediately. From what I was told, my kitten was the largest of the five kittens. The woman originally thought they were 8 weeks old but confessed to me after I brought him home that he was more like 5-7 months old.
I meant to write 5-7 weeks old not months.
 
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PrinceOwner

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I forgot to mention I have a scratching rectangle on the ground for him but he is not at all interested. I thought maybe he doesn't like it being on the ground so I stood it up and even hanged it by him. He'll bite at the edges but not claw it. I've tried using snacks but he is not interested/they are too hard for him.
 

di and bob

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He needs something else to bite and claw besides you, kittens are very aggressive in their play, and that is why they do better in pairs so they can play with each other. Get a kickeroo on Amazon or at a pet store, they are long catnip filled toys that cats love. If he continues to get aggressive you may have to take him by the skin on the back of his neck (very gently of course, he is tiny) hold him to the ground until he quiets and say NO. Yhis is what mama cats do to discipine. Do it EVERY time he attacks for it to be effective. Otherwise try to find something he likes to bite, a sock tied into a knot is something kittens like to wrestle with. This is normal behavior for a kitten, they live to play 'attack' and can do it all day long, he needs to get his pent up energy out on something else. Kittens are a whirlwind, older cats are couch potatoes usually.
 
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PrinceOwner

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Thank you for your response. Today is a better day. I do have a new concern though. My kitten really likes to get on top of my shoulders. I allow it as long as he is gentle which he has been for the most part. He seems to like to play with my hair. Sometimes he licks my ears or my hair. Is this okay for his health? I know cats get hairballs and that can be hard for them to digest and such. So should I stop him from getting onto my shoulders to stop him from getting to my hair?
 

minish

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There is nothing dangerous or wrong from the cat's perspective but it may be a concern for you in the future. Kittens climb on their owners, nest in their heads, sit on their shoulders, eat their hair, suck their earlobes.. Imagine he does these as he becomes a grown up, 12 lbs with much longer teeth and claws, also to other people who may be visiting. Some people are OK with this. If not, discourage such things as early as possible before they become a habit.
 

Norachan

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It sounds like he is craving a mutual grooming session. Cats and kittens will groom each other, so that's probably what he is trying to do to you.

Do you have grooming brushes for him? A soft hairbrush would be fine at this point. Another thing that you could start doing now is using a soft toothbrush to pet around his face and neck. Follow the direction his fur grows in and make short, gentle strokes. The idea behind this is that it will make it easier for you to brush his teeth.

Get him used to being petted with a toothbrush, then carefully lift up his mouth at the side and brush his canine teeth in a downwards motion. Cats can usually only stand one or two strokes at first, but as he gets older and gets used to having his teeth brushed you can gradually increase how much time you spend brushing his teeth.

Just a few seconds a day is plenty.
 

Kiwikinon

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Hello ! About the biting issue, I’ve been experiencing some as well ! I’ve tried giving him another toy instead, ignoring him but It doesn’t work, he just want to bite my hands for some reason, it’s gentle but still, he stops when I make some kind of noise (that I usually do when he does something I don’t want him to) but just start again and again.
I started to put my hands flat against his face, so he doesn’t have anything to bite on, he tries 2 to 3 times and then stops, hopefully he’ll stop biting For good, You can try it !
 
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