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- #121
Thank you! I can't write (yet). Maybe with 25 more years.....
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Sebastian, the feline love of my life
- Thread starter goholistic
- Start Date
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #122
OMG...I was looking for this video clip EVERYWHERE. I wanted to add part of it to Sebastian's final tribute video, but could never locate it. I was so upset that it was lost forever. Not giving up, I continued to look. Turns out they were stored on my computer at work for some reason (stupid) in a folder within a folder that was part of a folder. I just had to share!
Taken when he was a little chubby, before he ever got sick....
Taken when he was a little chubby, before he ever got sick....
Your tribute is beautiful. Sebastian is so handsome and precious.
Thank you, all.So sorry for the delay.
Without realizing it at the time, Sebastian must have been the glue keeping it all together in our home. It's been three months since my feline love left this world, and these past few weeks have not been easy. As I mentioned before, Caesar was severely depressed for two months following Sebastian's passing (fortunately, we made it through and he's doing much better). My old boy Boo is now falling apart and within the past month has been diagnosed with CKD, IBD, and just today Restrictive Cardiomyopathy (left ventricle free wall hypocontractility) for which we started heart meds. Then there's me...trying to get through it all.
I was so dedicated to being there for Sebastian, doing anything and everything I could to give him the best quality of life possible. He needed me. Well, it has hit me quite hard recently how much I also need[ed] him. When I was stressed or upset or had a bad day at work or annoyed with people, Sebastian made it all go away. Ironically, even with part of my stress being his caretaker, it was still his bright and beautiful personality that took that stress away. As soon as I would walk through the door after a long day, Sebastian was there...tail up, talking, rubbing...so happy. It was like my bad day might as well not even existed at all. It really sucks to lose something like that in your life.
So now, with Bastie no longer around, I default to playing the piano. It has a similar effect. Here's a song I am working on (starts slow and gets faster)...
Gone, is a stunning piece of music, it's bringing tears to my eyes. I don't know if you've ever listened on Youtube to Sad Piano music, but this piece sounds like it belongs with those works of art. You have a beautiful gift.
I love Sebastian playing with the tissue paper. That was Simon's favorite too. I just wish I got videos of it instead of stills. Watching Sebastian playing, bought back great memories of my baby.
You've inspired me to take my time in creating my tribute to my boy Simon.
Thank you so much for sharing. Warm regards...
I'm glad Caesar is better, but so sorry to hear about all of Boo's issues
Thank you, all.So sorry for the delay.
Without realizing it at the time, Sebastian must have been the glue keeping it all together in our home. It's been three months since my feline love left this world, and these past few weeks have not been easy. As I mentioned before, Caesar was severely depressed for two months following Sebastian's passing (fortunately, we made it through and he's doing much better). My old boy Boo is now falling apart and within the past month has been diagnosed with CKD, IBD, and just today Restrictive Cardiomyopathy (left ventricle free wall hypocontractility) for which we started heart meds. Then there's me...trying to get through it all.
I was so dedicated to being there for Sebastian, doing anything and everything I could to give him the best quality of life possible. He needed me. Well, it has hit me quite hard recently how much I also need[ed] him. When I was stressed or upset or had a bad day at work or annoyed with people, Sebastian made it all go away. Ironically, even with part of my stress being his caretaker, it was still his bright and beautiful personality that took that stress away. As soon as I would walk through the door after a long day, Sebastian was there...tail up, talking, rubbing...so happy. It was like my bad day might as well not even existed at all. It really sucks to lose something like that in your life.
So now, with Bastie no longer around, I default to playing the piano. It has a similar effect. Here's a song I am working on (starts slow and gets faster)...
That song is hauntingly beautiful, but doesn't it make you sad everything you play it? I would have tears streaming down my face everytime I played it if I were you. I'd think something fast and fun like "honky tonk" would be more therapeutic, but to each her own. You play it beautifully. I used to play, but haven't had a piano in years...never played that well though.
Glad you found that video
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #125
Thank you!
I know you're missing Simon so much, and I read that you've received his ashes. It's so heart-wrenching to lose our furbabies.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #126
Thank you for your concern.
I'm glad Caesar is better, but so sorry to hear about all of Boo's issuesI guess it at least helps that you are well versed in IBD at least.
That song is hauntingly beautiful, but doesn't it make you sad everything you play it? I would have tears streaming down my face everytime I played it if I were you. I'd think something fast and fun like "honky tonk" would be more therapeutic, but to each her own. You play it beautifully. I used to play, but haven't had a piano in years...never played that well though.
Glad you found that video
No, I don't feel sad when playing it. That's the thing about playing the piano for me. The emotion is in the music and the act of playing it. It's a different kind of release, I guess. If I feel like I could cry or am really sad, I play. And I feel better afterwards. Hard to explain. I'm sure people have other avenues for this sort of thing - crafts, gardening, swimming, going for a walk or run, etc.
There is this other song I want to play by the same artist that isn't so sad (at least not to my ears). To me, it screams LOVE in such a powerful way and gives me goosebumps every time I hear it. But it's more difficult and will take me longer to learn, so I haven't started it yet.
I went two years without a piano when I moved into my own place, and I thought I was going to die. LOL. I'd play at work, and I'd make special trips to my parents' house to play theirs. I was THRILLED when my family all chipped in to by me a decent digital piano for my birthday.
Aww, I just saw & watched that video of Sebastian. So cute!
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #128
Thank you!
Aww, I just saw & watched that video of Sebastian. So cute!
what a sweet video, what a stunning boy.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #130
Thank you!
So now that you're in the research mode, are you familiar with this website for kidney disease? http://www.felinecrf.org/index.htm I'm guessing you are, but just want to make sure. This is my "go to" for anything kidney related, and all other health issues that accompany that.Thank you for your concern.I'm back in research mode now doing what I can to help dear old Boo.
No, I don't feel sad when playing it. That's the thing about playing the piano for me. The emotion is in the music and the act of playing it. It's a different kind of release, I guess. If I feel like I could cry or am really sad, I play. And I feel better afterwards. Hard to explain. I'm sure people have other avenues for this sort of thing - crafts, gardening, swimming, going for a walk or run, etc.
There is this other song I want to play by the same artist that isn't so sad (at least not to my ears). To me, it screams LOVE in such a powerful way and gives me goosebumps every time I hear it. But it's more difficult and will take me longer to learn, so I haven't started it yet.
I went two years without a piano when I moved into my own place, and I thought I was going to die. LOL. I'd play at work, and I'd make special trips to my parents' house to play theirs. I was THRILLED when my family all chipped in to by me a decent digital piano for my birthday.
Now, interestingly enough, this new song, the one you aspire to play, does NOT make me sad. It's beautiful too, but not hauntingly so like the other one. I just love piano music. could listen to it all day. That and acoustic guitar.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #132
Thank you. Yes, of course! I know that site very well. I think I've already joined all the good CRF forums - Tanya's, Yahoo, and Facebook.
Unfortunately, as I mentioned in my earlier post, Boo was diagnosed with RCM (restrictive cardiomyopathy) last Friday, which takes precedence. Even the kidney folks say the heart comes first. Problem is that heart meds usually make kidneys worse. He can't get fluid therapy because of his heart. RCM is the worst of the three types (hypertrophic, dilated, restrictive). From what I'm reading, prognosis is not good. For once in my life, I surely wish I had some GOOD news for you all.
Anyway...
I'm glad the other song does not haunt you so!
Yes, treating heart and kidneys is a very fine line. I dn't know anything about RCM and didn't realize NO fluids could be given with it. Knew you had to be very careful about the amount given with other heart issues though. I think many kidney cats have actually had harm done to them with too much fluid. Possibly my own Callie. We never even knew she had any heart issues until her last day on this earth. So probably all the fluids brought it to fruition
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #134
Giving fluids to Boo would surely be risky. I would be very uncomfortable with it.
Yes, treating heart and kidneys is a very fine line. I dn't know anything about RCM and didn't realize NO fluids could be given with it. Knew you had to be very careful about the amount given with other heart issues though. I think many kidney cats have actually had harm done to them with too much fluid. Possibly my own Callie. We never even knew she had any heart issues until her last day on this earth. So probably all the fluids brought it to fruition
I'm sorry; I didn't realize that Callie potentially had a heart issue.
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What a beauty Sebastian was!!! My birthday is 17th March and this year the weather was beautiful - a sign they are in heaven I'm sure. I lost my Bruno yesterday, there's nothing like losing a pet and its heart warming to know that we can find comfort in the words spoken by those who have been through the same.
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- #136
Thank you. I'm very sorry you lost Bruno.
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There is nothing quite as cruel as the fact that cats have a lifespan so much shorter than ours. I'm so sorry for your loss. I know exactly how you feel. I know there are no words to describe the hole that is left in your heart... but time will help to heal it. Your story sounds a lot like what I experienced with my special little man, Arlo. We were together for 12 wonderful years. He was my soul-mate. I adored him more than I've ever adored any living being of any species. He wasn't just my cat... he was my life partner. LoL. He was suddenly diagnosed with late stage liver cancer, and the vet told me he didn't have much time (maybe a month or two). Like you, we opted for holistic alternative and nutritional therapies rather than chemo and radiation. He stayed with us for another year! And then he left. I still go over all the "what if's" too. He's been gone over a year, and it still hurts... but when I really calm myself and think about things clearly, I'm happy for him. He's not suffering anymore. I picture his goofy self in a better place, pouncing on grasshoppers, playing with sticks. I'm so grateful for my time with him and I know that you are grateful for your time with Sebastian. You'll never stop loving him. He will never stop being your special little guy. But it won't always hurt this much. You'll see. Just love him. And cry when you need to... as often as necessary. It will get better. Much love to you and your dear friend on his new adventures beyond.
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- #138
Thank you for your sentiments. I'm so sorry about your boy Arlo. Sebastian had such an impact on me that I suppose in 20 years I'll still be saying how much I miss him.
There is nothing quite as cruel as the fact that cats have a lifespan so much shorter than ours. I'm so sorry for your loss. I know exactly how you feel. I know there are no words to describe the hole that is left in your heart... but time will help to heal it. Your story sounds a lot like what I experienced with my special little man, Arlo. We were together for 12 wonderful years. He was my soul-mate. I adored him more than I've ever adored any living being of any species. He wasn't just my cat... he was my life partner. LoL. He was suddenly diagnosed with late stage liver cancer, and the vet told me he didn't have much time (maybe a month or two). Like you, we opted for holistic alternative and nutritional therapies rather than chemo and radiation. He stayed with us for another year! And then he left. I still go over all the "what if's" too. He's been gone over a year, and it still hurts... but when I really calm myself and think about things clearly, I'm happy for him. He's not suffering anymore. I picture his goofy self in a better place, pouncing on grasshoppers, playing with sticks. I'm so grateful for my time with him and I know that you are grateful for your time with Sebastian. You'll never stop loving him. He will never stop being your special little guy. But it won't always hurt this much. You'll see. Just love him. And cry when you need to... as often as necessary. It will get better. Much love to you and your dear friend on his new adventures beyond.
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I understand. My heart is with you.
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- #140
As for those "projects" I've been working on...well...they weren't necessarily my own works of art. While I would have loved to make something myself, I just don't have the time. So I'm outsourcing.
Show-and-tell #2 coming soon...
Show-and-tell #2 coming soon...
