I adopted two kitties from 2 different animal shelters last year in Dec. One is bright happy and overly confident. The other is afraid of everything and anything. He has zero aggression, just protectively curls up in a ball. He acts terrified of us every day (even though he can get cuddly in the evenings) the next day he is back to his terrified self. When we have company at the house, he will squish himself under a bookshelf and not come out to eat, drink or poop - even for days. We feel so bad for him. A loud sound, the housekeeper, the vacuum - everything/anything sends him scurrying. He is so sweet and adorable, we baby him, bring him into our bedroom for solo time (he opens up more when the other kitty isn't around), but he never seems to make real progress. My husband thinks he is "Special needs", but we don't know what he's been through before we adopted him. I've tried the calming collar, the pheromone diffusions, even a thunder vest. Nothing seems to help our little guy. I've owned cats all my life, and I have never experienced a cat like this. Would love any advice, or stories of similar cats making progress with this type of personality.
-
Too many ads? Join our community of cat lovers now to reduce ads by 90%! Click here to join for free!
Scaredy boy kitty
- Thread starter Luls77
- Start Date
I adopted Willow nine years ago as a one year and her personality Is exactly like your boy’s. Afraid of everything in an overly dramatic way. She is much much calmer than she was initially but she will never ever be an outgoing, confident and fearless cat. That doesn’t mean, though, that she isn’t happy or living her best life. You need to accept that he is always ready to bolt at the slightest thing. Just ignore it, give him plenty of spaces to hide and wait for him to reappear when he is ready.
For these scardy cats, routine is extremely important. Knowing that things happen in a certain way or at a certain time helps them to feel comfortable in their routine. And changes, be it as little as moving furniture or offering a treat at a different time or in a different place may send them into a panic. So you try to introduce new things or changes slowly.
Are they special needs cats? Perhaps but I find that at least Willow has many advantages as well. I never have to worry about her slipping out a door because when company or a workman is over she is hiding in the basement. She is ultra sensitive to the slightest scold and will never usually repeat a bad behavior. She doesn’t ever get in the way when I am working on something and I never trip over her because she will only observe from a distance.
And it is entirely possible that as just kitten yours will outgrow some of his skittishness as he matures and as he comes to recognize yours is a safe and loving place. I find that some of the joy of living with a cat is accepting them as they are whether that is bold and crazy or quiet and shy.
For these scardy cats, routine is extremely important. Knowing that things happen in a certain way or at a certain time helps them to feel comfortable in their routine. And changes, be it as little as moving furniture or offering a treat at a different time or in a different place may send them into a panic. So you try to introduce new things or changes slowly.
Are they special needs cats? Perhaps but I find that at least Willow has many advantages as well. I never have to worry about her slipping out a door because when company or a workman is over she is hiding in the basement. She is ultra sensitive to the slightest scold and will never usually repeat a bad behavior. She doesn’t ever get in the way when I am working on something and I never trip over her because she will only observe from a distance.
And it is entirely possible that as just kitten yours will outgrow some of his skittishness as he matures and as he comes to recognize yours is a safe and loving place. I find that some of the joy of living with a cat is accepting them as they are whether that is bold and crazy or quiet and shy.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #3
Thank you for sharing your experience with Willow. I do suspect this may just be his personality. He is very sweet and you're right, I never have to worry about him getting into trouble. I just worry that his quality of life won't be as good as our other kitty's. But perhaps, it's just us that need to adapt to him, instead of the other way around. We love him and want him to have the best life and will keep babying him.
- Joined
- Jun 11, 2019
- Messages
- 471
- Purraise
- 659
Do the kittens interact with each other? How old are they? Any issues with eating or the litter box? Pictures would be great
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #5
They are almost 2 years old. They play frequently, but often I notice the scaredy boy plays like his life depends on it while confident girl is non-chalant. They both eat well and have no problems with litter sharing. The boy is the cute tabby pic and the girl is my strawberry blonde beauty.
Both of them are gorgeous. I have a scaredy cat too, not quite as scaredy as your cat or Willow's but pretty close. They tend to make progress really slowly in my experience but not chasing them or forcing them out and making a good thing happen whenever they say hi to you goes a long way. My girl recently hid in the ceiling for a month when we moved, she is doing new things every week as she slowly re-adjusts.
In my opinion he could still make progress even years later. But will probably never appear around guests. Maybe one thing you could do is try to provide him with a quiet room or area he can go where you can close the door and he can be alone with his litterbox and food while guests come, instead of under the bookshelf. Though there isn't much you can or should do if he refuses to come out or doesn't pick the best hiding spot. Maybe you could move him to the designated quiet room with a wand toy or a treat before the guests come.
I really feel for when you say you are worried about his quality of life. </3 When my kitty was in the wall I felt very sad for her sitting in the dark.
Just like people though, some cats are inherently high strung. You can ease their anxiety and help them with routines and gentle love but when they are extremely anxious you cant change their underlying nature and they know no better/different.
In my opinion he could still make progress even years later. But will probably never appear around guests. Maybe one thing you could do is try to provide him with a quiet room or area he can go where you can close the door and he can be alone with his litterbox and food while guests come, instead of under the bookshelf. Though there isn't much you can or should do if he refuses to come out or doesn't pick the best hiding spot. Maybe you could move him to the designated quiet room with a wand toy or a treat before the guests come.
I really feel for when you say you are worried about his quality of life. </3 When my kitty was in the wall I felt very sad for her sitting in the dark.
Just like people though, some cats are inherently high strung. You can ease their anxiety and help them with routines and gentle love but when they are extremely anxious you cant change their underlying nature and they know no better/different.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #7
Thank you! Yes, my husband has a strict "no cats in the bedroom" rule, as he insists that we keep one area 'fur free', but he has made an exception for the boy - which he has NEVER done before. He lets him camp out in our room when we have company and we keep food and litter etc in there for him. Sometimes it's just a challenge to get him out from under the bookshelf as he squeezes himself under there and he is hard to move. You can see the expression on his face, and that's pretty much how he always looks - terrified but adorable. He also can't meow, he only makes baby-squeaking noises that only serve to make him even cuter. He is definitely Daddy's special boy.
Wondering why you need to remove him from under the bookshelf? If it got in there he can get out if he feels the need to, but if he is hiding and anxious, removing him just makes him feel more anxious. It seems like a small thing to us but not to them.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #9
When we are trying to get him into the safety of our bedroom. When he is under there, he can't even lift his head, eat, drink, or use the litter. I've tried blocking the area with blankets but he still squeezes in when he panics.
If he hides for more than a few hours I can see where that would be a problem, but when they are in the midst of a panic attack they don’t usually eat, drink or use the litterbox. Have you waited him out to see how long he hides? You can also try building some kind of a hideout that is near the bookcase and then use something solid like wood to block it. If you are using a bedroom as his safe place you should also have a space inside it that is small and secluded that he would consider a good hideout.
If you know you have company coming or something you know he finds scary is about to happen it works best to move them to their safe room in advance.
If you know you have company coming or something you know he finds scary is about to happen it works best to move them to their safe room in advance.
- Joined
- Jun 11, 2019
- Messages
- 471
- Purraise
- 659
Have you talked to your vet about giving a small dose of calming medication? Just like for humans sometimes medication can be warranted As you pointed out the look on his face says it all Both of your babies are beautiful!
Thats really nice he has somewhere to go be alone. I agree with others though that I wouldnt drag him out of there. Instead I would encourage him to go in the safe space during normal times and try to make him just want to be in there naturally. If he doesnt usually go in the room it wont feel safe for him even if it is. So if he normally doesnt ever go in the bedroom and gets dragged out of his go to hiding spot to go to a strange room it would probably scare him more than helping him.
For example Bonnies spot is our guest room. She has a bed she hides under and a litterbox and when guests come I will feed her in there too. I agree with the idea to board off under the bookshelf and try to encourage him to hide somewhere better by making that spot attractive to him. IE put cat stuff there he would need by the good hidey spot. Also Before he knows something is wrong you could lure him using toys or food into the better spot before the people come so he doesnt get stuck under the shelf.
Pulling him out of a hiding spot will make things worse/freak him out
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #14
When we know guests are coming we put him in the room. He loves our bedroom it's his favorite place where he doesn't have to worry about guests or our other kitty. There are times when a service person comes unexpectedly and that's when he panics. Thankfully it's less and less as he gets older and he can't fit himself under the bookshelf like he used to when he was smaller. The doctor had prescribed some stress medicine for him before, but I don't like medicating cats and the one time I tried it it didn't seem to help very much anyway. last night I put a stress Collar on my confident kitty instead of scaredy boy and amazingly it has calmed him down. When I put the stress collar on him it never helped. This is interesting to see how having the collar on Her has calmed him down. And she is more mellow as well.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #16
Yep-- I think she stresses him out too with her high energy, and him being so skittish. It's like it's neutralized her presence for him maybe?
Baby squeaky noises are a clue, more than likely. I have only ever owned street cats or ferals who made the transition, not to mention ferals who were TNRed but continued to live outside...never even made it to an animal shelter to adopt one. Ferals are trained by their mom not to ever make a sound as that is part of how they survive. Once they move into a home where they are comfortable and happy, they often start the odd little squeak but don't actually know what the sound is supposed to be.
Both cats are gorgeous and are very lucky to have you and your husband for parents. Little boy does have a sort of shocked, frightened, startled look on his face. He may have faced something quite horrifying before his rescue. It is almost funny as the little girl looks so confident and even cocky.
Almost every cat I have ever owned with a couple of exceptions has had a similar fear issue....some not so pronounced, and some worse. If there is anything that would help, I think that you could certainly try that, but I do want to reassure you that he does not have anything near a bad quality of life. He has a fearful temperament, but I guarantee you that he is also extremely happy that he has such a lovely home and is safe and secure.
Both cats are gorgeous and are very lucky to have you and your husband for parents. Little boy does have a sort of shocked, frightened, startled look on his face. He may have faced something quite horrifying before his rescue. It is almost funny as the little girl looks so confident and even cocky.
Almost every cat I have ever owned with a couple of exceptions has had a similar fear issue....some not so pronounced, and some worse. If there is anything that would help, I think that you could certainly try that, but I do want to reassure you that he does not have anything near a bad quality of life. He has a fearful temperament, but I guarantee you that he is also extremely happy that he has such a lovely home and is safe and secure.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #18
thank you so much! that’s very interesting about the squeak noises related to feral cats. i believe he may have been feral kitten of about 5 months when he was captured by animal co tell. so i think his very first encounter with people was being captured and then caged for weeks until we adopted him. he is so precious, it’s hard to describe. but even through all his fear and panic, i do believe he is happy in our home. we have a 1400 sq ft screened in patio that backs onto a nature pond that he also gets too enjoy. you nailed it with my girl kitty’s expression. she is very confident and cocky! she is literally the happiest kitty i’ve ever owned, like a ray of sunshine.
Hi! If these haven't already been mentioned, try cat music, --classical harp music can help relax kitties.
Also a purr toy or heartbeat toy may be helpful too.
In case you haven't seen these there may be something that might be useful;
How To Help An Abused Cat Recover – TheCatSite Articles
10 Must-know Tips For Happy Living With A Shy Cat – TheCatSite Articles
Also a purr toy or heartbeat toy may be helpful too.
In case you haven't seen these there may be something that might be useful;
How To Help An Abused Cat Recover – TheCatSite Articles
10 Must-know Tips For Happy Living With A Shy Cat – TheCatSite Articles
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #20
Thanks for sharing!
