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"The trouble is, you think you have time." --Jack Kornfield
My girl Sarah crossed the bridge on Friday, December 6th, 2024 just after 3:00PM. She was 16 years, 7 months, and 6 days old. On November 13th, she had an appointment with the vet to have her kidney levels checked and they had improved. I was on top of the world! She was eating, gaining weight, and still catching mice in her catio. I thought I was doing a good job at keeping her kidney disease controlled.
The day after Thanksgiving, we were at the emergency vet. Sarah was getting picky with food and turning everything down except baby food and goats milk. Her stubborn UTI was back, and her kidney levels were elevated again.
Sunday December 1st, she picked at breakfast, and after that, refused all food no matter what I offered. The vet and I were in contact all week. We tried more appetite stimulants, and they didn't work. We tried cerenia, which stopped any vomiting but didn't stop her nausea. She was losing weight rapidly, and despite giving her more fluids than I usually did twice per day, they absorbed almost immediately. I called the vet on Thursday morning, and asked what we should try next. We made an appointment for Friday at 3:00PM to check her levels and see what else we could do. From Thursday morning to Friday morning, she deteriorated rapidly. She had no interest in food at all. She spent most of her time in a loafed position. I syringe fed her, which she accepted but did not enjoy. The cerenia kept her from throwing the food up, but, her chin was almost always damp with a watery drool. My little girl started getting weaker. She also became restless and was drinking a lot of water. By early Friday afternoon, she would approach the water bowl and go to drink, stop, and hang her head over the bowl. She was always one of the most fastidiously clean cats I've ever had. But, she began urinating and having diarrhea on herself. Friday was The Day From Hell for both of us. I was an anxious, jittering mess. At 1:30, Sarah finally fell into a deep sleep. She had been sleeping in a loaf position for several days. But as her sleep deepened, she slowly rolled onto her side and tucked her head into her paws, and slept like a contented kitten. I sat with her, quietly watching. She was dreaming. Her little paws twitched. Her whiskers and ears twitched, and every now and again her tail would give a little swish. Whatever that dream was, it must have been a good one.
At 2:00, the dreaming had stopped. Sarah's breathing was slowing and getting more and more shallow. I tiptoed away, and called the vet and asked her what I should do because I honestly thought she was in the process of passing naturally in her sleep. She looked so peaceful. As horrible as it sounds, I was hoping (for her sake especially) she would just quietly slip away in between those wonderful dreams. While I was on the phone with the vet, Sarah abruptly woke up, went to stand up, and almost fell over.
The vet came to the house shortly after that. Sarah passed with her help at just after 3:00PM on Friday, December 6th, 2024. It was peaceful. I told her how much I loved her, and I told her how sorry I was. Sorry I couldn't save her, sorry I couldn't help her, and so sorry that something had obviously gone very wrong with her kidneys that I was unable to stop. The vet told me that I had done everything there was to do, and sometimes these things just happen. The body wears out. Despite this, I don't take this decision lightly. And despite her unwillingness to eat, drink, and her weakness, I'll always wonder if this could have been prevented, had I known about it sooner.
Sarah was my talker. She would chirp, trill, meow, and meow some more. If she was happy, she was talking. If she was upset, she was talking. If she was lonely, she'd let out a loud yowl that would make me come running thinking that something was horribly wrong with her. If you spoke to her, she'd meow. It was easy to hold a conversation with her this way, because as long as you were looking at her and speaking to her, she'd respond with a meow. It was adorable.
When she and her brothers lived outside, I could always tell at least one of them apart, because Sarah was the one who would meow at me if I looked at her or spoke to her. Many times, I talked to our now passed on member Strider Rose on the phone. Sarah was her favorite, because I'd put the phone on speaker and the conversation would cause Sarah to approach and start giving her input. Many times if I were on the phone with someone, I'd have to apologize for Sarah jumping up and loudly meowing right into the phone! She was also an excellent mouser. Up until those last 2 weeks, she was bringing me mice that she had caught through her poise, patience and lighting fast reflexes.
Sarah was not the most easily handled cat when she was younger. She was not an aggressive cat, but she disliked being held or approached quickly. She was never abused, but she was naturally cautious. As she got to be a few years old, she suddenly realized that there was no reason to be apprehensive. The older she got, the sweeter she became. Her regular vet, as well as the emergency vet she saw, both commented on what a good, well behaved cat she was. Hearing that made me so proud of her. Like her brother Goofy (who passed January 8th of this year), she would come and greet visitors as though she believed they came to see her. When my Papillon puppy, Balki, arrived in May of this year, he was scared of Livie, my other Papillon. Lila wanted nothing to do with him. Balki was even apprehensive with me, a complete stranger. When he saw Sarah, he made a beeline for her and leaped all over her, kissing her face and ears while his little tail wagged. Sarah patiently accepted this and they were fast friends, and she spent a lot of time with him because she loved him. I've told Balki many times, "You don't know what a friend you have in Sarah." Both dogs would greet her in the morning by excitedly kissing and "flea biting" her neck, head, and ears. She seemed to love this and would purr, and if they stopped too quickly, she'd follow them and head butt them until they gave her another free ear cleaning. Every morning I just loved watching this unfold. And now I realize how much I'm going to miss it.
Sarah's litter had 4 kittens. She was the only girl, the Little Princess. The litter was mine to raise, and I took that job very seriously. From day one, there was something about that litter of kittens. One kitten passed in infancy, which almost broke me. When her other brother died at a young age from a rare cancer, it made me afraid. I became very protective of the remaining two. 2 years later, I had a room built onto my house that was "their room"; lots of windows, lots of cat trees, and lots of toys. It has always been theirs. I'm sure some people thought I was nuts. Had I not gotten those kittens, I would not have spent the money on building a room for them. Yet they gave me something in return that is absolutely priceless. Years after that, I extended that room with a large catio. Questions on that lead me to this website, which I am very grateful to have found.
I was 24 years old when Sarah's litter was born, so I was pretty young. I was there when they were born, and I was there when each one of them passed. I am now 41, and while I'm not "old", I feel like in a way, we grew up together, and grew old(er) together. We walked many years side by side and now I, and my remaining pets, are left to find our way without them. They taught me about unconditional love, fierce loyalty, and protecting the ones you love. They showed me that there's no problem so big that a good nap in the sun won't help. They showed me that sitting outside on a beautiful summer night while watching the sun set and listening to the insects is one of the most peaceful things you'll ever experience. Sarah, being the final loss of that litter after 16 years, 7 months, and 6 days of love, loyalty, and friendship, is a blow to my little family. She, and her brothers, represented all of that but are also a link to memories of so many good times over the years. Having lost them all now, I feel like I've lost a part of those memories. I can only pray that when we meet again, those feelings of utter loss will be wiped away forever.
"I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, instead, I am deeply honored knowing that you spent the rest of your life with me." --Camille Marcotte
I love you, my sweet, special girl. Thank you. I had a wonderful time.
Sarah and Tag, who passed in 2022.
Tag had a deep love for "his" cats.
View attachment 490010
Goofy, front, and Sarah, back.
View attachment 490011
Goofy on the left, Sarah on the right, practicing their weird cat-jellyfish impression (and Tag supervising.)
View attachment 490013
View attachment 490014
View attachment 490016
Goofy, top...Sarah middle...Lila bottom.
View attachment 490017
Another mid-meow picture.
View attachment 490019
My pretty girl exploring her new catio
View attachment 490020
New catnip toys from our friend, Strider Rose, who passed away last year.
View attachment 490021
Patiently accepting baby Balki.
View attachment 490022
Sarah, puppy trainer enforcing "stay".
View attachment 490023
Livie, giving Sarah her daily kisses. I will miss seeing this every single morning.
View attachment 490025
When Sarah was displeased, she made sure everyone knew it.
View attachment 490026
View attachment 490027
View attachment 490028
More morning kisses.
View attachment 490029
View attachment 490030
Her last days. Balki comforting her, just as she comforted him when he arrived in his new home.
View attachment 490031
My girl Sarah crossed the bridge on Friday, December 6th, 2024 just after 3:00PM. She was 16 years, 7 months, and 6 days old. On November 13th, she had an appointment with the vet to have her kidney levels checked and they had improved. I was on top of the world! She was eating, gaining weight, and still catching mice in her catio. I thought I was doing a good job at keeping her kidney disease controlled.
The day after Thanksgiving, we were at the emergency vet. Sarah was getting picky with food and turning everything down except baby food and goats milk. Her stubborn UTI was back, and her kidney levels were elevated again.
Sunday December 1st, she picked at breakfast, and after that, refused all food no matter what I offered. The vet and I were in contact all week. We tried more appetite stimulants, and they didn't work. We tried cerenia, which stopped any vomiting but didn't stop her nausea. She was losing weight rapidly, and despite giving her more fluids than I usually did twice per day, they absorbed almost immediately. I called the vet on Thursday morning, and asked what we should try next. We made an appointment for Friday at 3:00PM to check her levels and see what else we could do. From Thursday morning to Friday morning, she deteriorated rapidly. She had no interest in food at all. She spent most of her time in a loafed position. I syringe fed her, which she accepted but did not enjoy. The cerenia kept her from throwing the food up, but, her chin was almost always damp with a watery drool. My little girl started getting weaker. She also became restless and was drinking a lot of water. By early Friday afternoon, she would approach the water bowl and go to drink, stop, and hang her head over the bowl. She was always one of the most fastidiously clean cats I've ever had. But, she began urinating and having diarrhea on herself. Friday was The Day From Hell for both of us. I was an anxious, jittering mess. At 1:30, Sarah finally fell into a deep sleep. She had been sleeping in a loaf position for several days. But as her sleep deepened, she slowly rolled onto her side and tucked her head into her paws, and slept like a contented kitten. I sat with her, quietly watching. She was dreaming. Her little paws twitched. Her whiskers and ears twitched, and every now and again her tail would give a little swish. Whatever that dream was, it must have been a good one.
At 2:00, the dreaming had stopped. Sarah's breathing was slowing and getting more and more shallow. I tiptoed away, and called the vet and asked her what I should do because I honestly thought she was in the process of passing naturally in her sleep. She looked so peaceful. As horrible as it sounds, I was hoping (for her sake especially) she would just quietly slip away in between those wonderful dreams. While I was on the phone with the vet, Sarah abruptly woke up, went to stand up, and almost fell over.
The vet came to the house shortly after that. Sarah passed with her help at just after 3:00PM on Friday, December 6th, 2024. It was peaceful. I told her how much I loved her, and I told her how sorry I was. Sorry I couldn't save her, sorry I couldn't help her, and so sorry that something had obviously gone very wrong with her kidneys that I was unable to stop. The vet told me that I had done everything there was to do, and sometimes these things just happen. The body wears out. Despite this, I don't take this decision lightly. And despite her unwillingness to eat, drink, and her weakness, I'll always wonder if this could have been prevented, had I known about it sooner.
Sarah was my talker. She would chirp, trill, meow, and meow some more. If she was happy, she was talking. If she was upset, she was talking. If she was lonely, she'd let out a loud yowl that would make me come running thinking that something was horribly wrong with her. If you spoke to her, she'd meow. It was easy to hold a conversation with her this way, because as long as you were looking at her and speaking to her, she'd respond with a meow. It was adorable.
When she and her brothers lived outside, I could always tell at least one of them apart, because Sarah was the one who would meow at me if I looked at her or spoke to her. Many times, I talked to our now passed on member Strider Rose on the phone. Sarah was her favorite, because I'd put the phone on speaker and the conversation would cause Sarah to approach and start giving her input. Many times if I were on the phone with someone, I'd have to apologize for Sarah jumping up and loudly meowing right into the phone! She was also an excellent mouser. Up until those last 2 weeks, she was bringing me mice that she had caught through her poise, patience and lighting fast reflexes.
Sarah was not the most easily handled cat when she was younger. She was not an aggressive cat, but she disliked being held or approached quickly. She was never abused, but she was naturally cautious. As she got to be a few years old, she suddenly realized that there was no reason to be apprehensive. The older she got, the sweeter she became. Her regular vet, as well as the emergency vet she saw, both commented on what a good, well behaved cat she was. Hearing that made me so proud of her. Like her brother Goofy (who passed January 8th of this year), she would come and greet visitors as though she believed they came to see her. When my Papillon puppy, Balki, arrived in May of this year, he was scared of Livie, my other Papillon. Lila wanted nothing to do with him. Balki was even apprehensive with me, a complete stranger. When he saw Sarah, he made a beeline for her and leaped all over her, kissing her face and ears while his little tail wagged. Sarah patiently accepted this and they were fast friends, and she spent a lot of time with him because she loved him. I've told Balki many times, "You don't know what a friend you have in Sarah." Both dogs would greet her in the morning by excitedly kissing and "flea biting" her neck, head, and ears. She seemed to love this and would purr, and if they stopped too quickly, she'd follow them and head butt them until they gave her another free ear cleaning. Every morning I just loved watching this unfold. And now I realize how much I'm going to miss it.
Sarah's litter had 4 kittens. She was the only girl, the Little Princess. The litter was mine to raise, and I took that job very seriously. From day one, there was something about that litter of kittens. One kitten passed in infancy, which almost broke me. When her other brother died at a young age from a rare cancer, it made me afraid. I became very protective of the remaining two. 2 years later, I had a room built onto my house that was "their room"; lots of windows, lots of cat trees, and lots of toys. It has always been theirs. I'm sure some people thought I was nuts. Had I not gotten those kittens, I would not have spent the money on building a room for them. Yet they gave me something in return that is absolutely priceless. Years after that, I extended that room with a large catio. Questions on that lead me to this website, which I am very grateful to have found.
I was 24 years old when Sarah's litter was born, so I was pretty young. I was there when they were born, and I was there when each one of them passed. I am now 41, and while I'm not "old", I feel like in a way, we grew up together, and grew old(er) together. We walked many years side by side and now I, and my remaining pets, are left to find our way without them. They taught me about unconditional love, fierce loyalty, and protecting the ones you love. They showed me that there's no problem so big that a good nap in the sun won't help. They showed me that sitting outside on a beautiful summer night while watching the sun set and listening to the insects is one of the most peaceful things you'll ever experience. Sarah, being the final loss of that litter after 16 years, 7 months, and 6 days of love, loyalty, and friendship, is a blow to my little family. She, and her brothers, represented all of that but are also a link to memories of so many good times over the years. Having lost them all now, I feel like I've lost a part of those memories. I can only pray that when we meet again, those feelings of utter loss will be wiped away forever.
"I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, instead, I am deeply honored knowing that you spent the rest of your life with me." --Camille Marcotte
I love you, my sweet, special girl. Thank you. I had a wonderful time.
Sarah and Tag, who passed in 2022.
Tag had a deep love for "his" cats.View attachment 490010
Goofy, front, and Sarah, back.
View attachment 490011
Goofy on the left, Sarah on the right, practicing their weird cat-jellyfish impression (and Tag supervising.)
View attachment 490013
View attachment 490014
View attachment 490016
Goofy, top...Sarah middle...Lila bottom.
View attachment 490017
Another mid-meow picture.
View attachment 490019
My pretty girl exploring her new catio
View attachment 490020
New catnip toys from our friend, Strider Rose, who passed away last year.
View attachment 490021
Patiently accepting baby Balki.
View attachment 490022
Sarah, puppy trainer enforcing "stay".
View attachment 490023
Livie, giving Sarah her daily kisses. I will miss seeing this every single morning.
View attachment 490025
When Sarah was displeased, she made sure everyone knew it.
View attachment 490026
View attachment 490027
View attachment 490028
More morning kisses.
View attachment 490029
View attachment 490030
Her last days. Balki comforting her, just as she comforted him when he arrived in his new home.
View attachment 490031
Sarah 
I really miss that.
I especially like the one of her curled up in Tag's snuggie. 
