Sammy, my soul mate, is gone.

KK300

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Sammy, my beautiful 11yo black cat, was put to sleep on July 8th.

He became unwell a year ago, and after many investigations, was diagnosed with idiopathic hepatitis.
This evil disease defied logic, and medication.
On July 6th, he suddenly became unwell, and started hallucinating and being aggressive, despite being the most gentle and loving cat.

He was my soul cat. We had such a strong bond.
I can't imagine having the same relationship with any other cat.
My heart is absolutely broken.

Sleep now, my darling boy, we will meet again in time.
 

Tik cat's mum

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I'm so sorry for your loss. I know your heart broken now believe me. But in time you'll be able to have a relationship with another cat. Not the same as with your beautiful boy Sammy, but a whole new and different relationship. When we lost our boy Tik my husband couldn't see himself ever wanting another cat. But 1 year later this little black kitten came into our lives. And managed to win my hubby over with his stubborn ways and cheek. We now say he was sent to us by Tik because he knew we needed another cat. It takes time to grieve give yourself that and one day there will be more smiles than tears when you think about Sammy, I'm sure that's what he'd want. RIP Sammy you'll be in good company at the bridge. :rbheart:
 

di and bob

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No, you will never have another relationship that is the same with another cat. What you had with sweet Sammy was special, as unique as a snowflake, and when it is gone, never duplicated. But like a mother with several children, you can love each one in a special, different way. Maybe one is a little more special, but all loved with an intensity that cannot be denied. Your Sammy's love was forged with love, link by link, and will forever be with you. It can never be broken because it is spiritual, so eternal. The 'essence' that was him will always be as close as your thoughts and prayers, so send him those of love and thankfulness, not tears. His gentle spirit will bring you comfort in time, for as you would want for him if you were the first to go, so he wants for you. That is love.
Nothing can change what happened, it is now a part of your past. So take each day as it comes and live it to the fullest, none of us are guaranteed a tomorrow. Time will soften the wound to your heart, and though it will never completely fade, it will turn into a beautiful part of your life's journey.
What you are going through is yours and yours alone. The love you shared is yours and Sammy's alone. That is why we feel so alone, so beaten, at times like this. Because no one will ever duplicate what you had. Sammy is at peace because he carries your love in his heart. He wants nothing more than to have you happy again, just as you would want for him. Because he loved life and all it brought and wants no less for the one he loves too.
My heart goes out to you. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. We cannot take away your pain, but we can share it because we have stood in your shoes and can empathize. Take care, and keep your heart open to another little love that will surely come your way in the future, because your heart is so giving.......RIP dear Sammy. You will forever have a secure place in a loving heart, you will always be missed. May the good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again!
 

betsygee

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I'm very sorry to read this news. I felt the same when I lost my first cat. I've had several other cats since then. It's true that the bond isn't the same but I've loved them, too, in different ways. It may not feel like it now, but in time your heart will begin to heal and you may find another kitty you can love. :hugs: My heart goes out to you. Rest in peace, sweet Sammy. :rbheart:
 
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KK300

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Thank you all for your kind and supportive replies.
He was such a gentle soul, and I loved him with every fibre of my being. He gave me so much joy and love, we had such a strong bond.

One day, I will come to accept his loss, but that day is not today.
 
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KK300

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To Di and Bob
Thank you ever so much for your kind wishes and prayers, I really appreciate your comments. Sammy and I had such a special bond, unique to us, it's so hard to be without him.

I am so lucky to have had him in my life, perhaps I'm just being selfish to want him for longer.
 

les26

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I am so sorry that you lost your little friend, no matter how long we have them it is never long enough is it? But he wasn't well sadly and the only thing to do is what you did but yes it tears your heart out, but with time things will get better, but right now is just awful I know. He loved you and you him, neither has any regrets and when you meet again down the line it will be wonderful and he will thank you for taking such good care of him.

"Their last breath on Earth is their first breath in Heaven" :rbheart:

I am sorry for your loss, I hope that your heart heals a bit more each day, God Bless.....:alright: :grouphug2: :rbheart:
 

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Hang in there, another fur baby will find you. You may be surprised when it happens. But for now, know that you gave Sammy a loving home and life. I thank you.
 
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KK300

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It's now twelve days since we lost him.

Somehow the grief is getting worse. I had so many 'rituals' with him. He was my first thought in the morning, and my last thought at night. I looked forward to seeing him when I left work. He was never more than a few feet away from me when I was at home.

My world is just not the same without him.

I miss him so much, I just don't know how to move forwards.
 

Tik cat's mum

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Twelve day's is not long. And it's probably just hitting you. Grief seems to come in waves it did for me. One day I'd be thinking I was okay then the next I'd be hit by a overwhelming feeling of loss. We experience a whole range of emotions when we are grieveing. Sadness, anger, regret, to name a few. One thing that hit me hard was the morning ritual, the house was to quiet without my boy screaming at me to feed him. Even though I had another cat so was still going through the ritual it just wasn't the same not being shouted at. Give yourself time there's no limit on how long this takes everyone is different and deals with loss differently. Hang in there it does get easier, you'll always miss Sammy but the pain does ease. :alright:
 

di and bob

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We are living proof that you do survive the unsurvivable. It takes a long time to get into a new routine. After all, it was 11 years of building it, and habits and routines are so very hard to break.
I was a mess for years. I try to put my feelings into words, what I learned on this journey of tears to perhaps make it a tiny bit easier, a tiny bit shorter for someone else traveling its path. My heart and soul were shattered, I lost all enjoyment of life, I was consumed with grief and my little one's death replaying over and over again in my head and my dreams. I can instantly recall every second of that horrible time and be consumed once more if I let it. But eventually, I realized I was not mourning the death of my soul mate, I was dying myself. I had let death win, I chose sadness and darkness over happiness and light. I was existing, not living. Life is meant to be truly lived. To be happy, to enjoy every second here on earth because none of us are guaranteed a tomorrow. We are all dying, it begins the second we are born. Some die before others, and this will never change. The soul is meant to love, to seek light and happiness in the simple pleasures of simply being alive. My little girl knew this, your Sammy did too. They loved life and tried to enjoy every second of it. I know now in my heart they would be horrified to know they caused us such pain. Because no one wants to bring pain to someone they truly love. Your sweet Sammy lives on through you now, through your connection of love and your memories. Keep that sweet memory one of joy, of happiness, not grief and tears. Do it for Sammy's sake and for your own. You will always have Sammy's love. Cling to that and build upon it. Add more love and happiness to allow it to blossom, to grow even stronger. It CAN be done, it just takes time and a lot of it, taking one step forward, one day at a time........
 
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KK300

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Di and Bob
Thank you so much for your post, which must have revisited your own loss:
"My heart and soul were shattered, I lost all enjoyment of life, I was consumed with grief and my little one's death replaying over and over again in my head and my dreams. I can instantly recall every second of that horrible time and be consumed once more"
Your description is exactly what I am experiencing right now. I see the image of him at the last vet visit every time I close my eyes. I can't sleep, food has no flavour and sleep just brings nightmares,

Tik cat's mum,
"One thing that hit me hard was the morning ritual, the house was to quiet without my boy screaming at me to feed him"; exactly this. He liked to shout when he wanted something, whether that was food, cuddles, when he brought me his toy mouse, or to go outside. The house is just not the same.

I miss him so much. He was my best friend.

Again, thank you both so much for your posts. I still can't believe it is real, keep expecting to wake tomorrow and find it was all a bad dream, and that he is curled up in my arms in bed, as normal.
 

di and bob

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Time and only time is the only thing that truly helps. Try not to dwell on the horrible memories, it only brings more pain. He gave you so many more good ones, let his memory bring you joy, not pain. He shared your life's journey and that is a treasure beyond compare.......
 
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KK300

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I'm so glad I found this forum, you are all so kind and understanding. Thank you all so much.
 
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KK300

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Time and only time is the only thing that truly helps. Try not to dwell on the horrible memories, it only brings more pain. He gave you so many more good ones, let his memory bring you joy, not pain. He shared your life's journey and that is a treasure beyond compare.......
We have so many happy memories of him. We're trying to look at happy videos and photos.
My overriding thought is 'why did the universe have to take him'? He was such a gentle and loving soul, what would the universe gain from taking him so early?

I miss him so much.
 
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