My beautiful 16 yo calico Sadie, whom I've had for 12 wonderful years (since 2008) is nearing the end. We are a cat loving household with four adorable cats.
She had some hip wasting starting in 2018 but it wasn't anything alarming until about a year later when we began to see her drop weight and get cranky about "back there". I took her into a vet and he said she was healthy and happy and just geriatric, completely normal. She has always been of small stature but she got down to 8 lbs in 2019. She began getting allergies, REALLY bad breath, and sneezing a lot. I took her into another vet (we moved) to get the sneezing resolved and they said there was nothing wrong with her weight either. The bad breath was likely just sinus drainage. He sent me home with a feline toothbrush and some peanut butter kitty paste.
Fast forward to March 2020, we moved again and we took her in to a new vet for a routine exam and blood work due to a mouth ulcer. At this point she had lost another pound despite regular eating. Now she was starting to look concerningly skinny and began missing her taller jumps. Again, vet said everything was normal except for an elevated kidney marker that we should keep an eye on but wasn't too serious to worry about yet. Teeth and gums good, respiratory good, heart good. She recommended a follow up panel in 3-5 months. "A healthy old girl with a good daddy" is what they said. I asked again, three times now during this appointment about her weight. They said it was perfectly normal and she was just a skinny old girl.
Totally, completely normal cat. As she always was. Loved to cuddle. She had some trouble jumping and landing to her target, clumsy I guess, and was a little more "cranky" about certain areas being touched. A bit bonier now. She had a habit of stepping on our digital scale, so I was able to catch her weight every now and again. That 7 became 6 and eventually as of last month dipped to 5.7.
Bones were now pointy and sharp and her spine was easily felt and seen. She wobbled a lot while she walked and then progressed to wobbling sitting still.
For the last two weeks she developed a real hunger and would meow and meow whenever we were in the kitchen. Any time the fridge opened, or a soup can cracked, there she was! We let her lick our dishes clean, the tuna juice, the pork roast juice, soup can, whatever. I figured she was lacking in protein so I went out and bought her a bunch of high protein wet cat food and fed her once every day on top of our free feeding. She had no problem gulping down an entire 5.5 oz can. Apart from slimming down, she was a happy, lovey, well-groomed cat.
Fast forward to last Monday. She missed her jump from the floor to the bed entirely. I heard the thump. I woke up. Followed her to the other room where she sat, listless, staring into nothingness, wobbling. Called her name and she snapped out of it after a few kissy calls and came over but couldn't paw up on me. Later that day I saw her behind the foot rest on our grand piano. Hiding. I called her, no response. Opened a can and she came over but only ate a bit and then retreated to the piano. Was not interested in drinking. Just sitting still, wobbly, staring at the floor. I began to cry. I know she's either sick or dying. I gave it one more day and took her to the vet.
Vet confirmed end-stage kidney failure, low body temp, and heart murmurs. Offered a hospital stay for $1,000 to replenish fluids, try to raise body temp, and give her some heavy meds to stimulate her renal system. Or I could do a blood test also but basically to confirm what we already knew. I opted to have the vet hook her to a saline IV and warm her up and send her home with me the same day.
I asked her her honest opinion, if hospitalization would vastly improve her chances of surviving. The vet said probably not - it may prolong the inevitable. So if you want more time, it's an option. But Sadie is very far advanced in her disease. So, vet sent me home with poor Sadie and instructed me to love on her and keep her warm and fed if possible.
Since that day (yesterday) it has been a complete downward slope. I have cried (I'll bet) literal ounces of tears, over maybe 10 total breakdowns in the last 48 hours. I have literally never dealt with the death of a pet before. I always knew it was a terrible thing, but I had absolutely no idea. This is literally the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with. My gosh it's just unbearable. I can't cry any more tears.
Any advice or hugs? I'm just trying to keep her comfortable and let her know she's loved. For instance she loves our little "road trips" where I take her for a little ride around town and she rests her body on my lap and her chin on my wrist. So far we've done three.
She has stopped eating and has began startling easily. Very jumpy. She still drinks now and then. Still loves to be held. I can't seem to let go. Been drinking and taking prescription meds to cope.
I've bounced all the hell between despair, to acceptance, to anger, to "it's not fair for this to happen to HER, she's such a good cat", to loneliness, depression, relief, and all back through again.
How does this happen so fast??
I felt I needed to talk about this and share this with some fellow cat lovers. Sorry for the long post!
2017 :
lol
Yesterday :
She had some hip wasting starting in 2018 but it wasn't anything alarming until about a year later when we began to see her drop weight and get cranky about "back there". I took her into a vet and he said she was healthy and happy and just geriatric, completely normal. She has always been of small stature but she got down to 8 lbs in 2019. She began getting allergies, REALLY bad breath, and sneezing a lot. I took her into another vet (we moved) to get the sneezing resolved and they said there was nothing wrong with her weight either. The bad breath was likely just sinus drainage. He sent me home with a feline toothbrush and some peanut butter kitty paste.
Fast forward to March 2020, we moved again and we took her in to a new vet for a routine exam and blood work due to a mouth ulcer. At this point she had lost another pound despite regular eating. Now she was starting to look concerningly skinny and began missing her taller jumps. Again, vet said everything was normal except for an elevated kidney marker that we should keep an eye on but wasn't too serious to worry about yet. Teeth and gums good, respiratory good, heart good. She recommended a follow up panel in 3-5 months. "A healthy old girl with a good daddy" is what they said. I asked again, three times now during this appointment about her weight. They said it was perfectly normal and she was just a skinny old girl.
Totally, completely normal cat. As she always was. Loved to cuddle. She had some trouble jumping and landing to her target, clumsy I guess, and was a little more "cranky" about certain areas being touched. A bit bonier now. She had a habit of stepping on our digital scale, so I was able to catch her weight every now and again. That 7 became 6 and eventually as of last month dipped to 5.7.
Bones were now pointy and sharp and her spine was easily felt and seen. She wobbled a lot while she walked and then progressed to wobbling sitting still.
For the last two weeks she developed a real hunger and would meow and meow whenever we were in the kitchen. Any time the fridge opened, or a soup can cracked, there she was! We let her lick our dishes clean, the tuna juice, the pork roast juice, soup can, whatever. I figured she was lacking in protein so I went out and bought her a bunch of high protein wet cat food and fed her once every day on top of our free feeding. She had no problem gulping down an entire 5.5 oz can. Apart from slimming down, she was a happy, lovey, well-groomed cat.
Fast forward to last Monday. She missed her jump from the floor to the bed entirely. I heard the thump. I woke up. Followed her to the other room where she sat, listless, staring into nothingness, wobbling. Called her name and she snapped out of it after a few kissy calls and came over but couldn't paw up on me. Later that day I saw her behind the foot rest on our grand piano. Hiding. I called her, no response. Opened a can and she came over but only ate a bit and then retreated to the piano. Was not interested in drinking. Just sitting still, wobbly, staring at the floor. I began to cry. I know she's either sick or dying. I gave it one more day and took her to the vet.
Vet confirmed end-stage kidney failure, low body temp, and heart murmurs. Offered a hospital stay for $1,000 to replenish fluids, try to raise body temp, and give her some heavy meds to stimulate her renal system. Or I could do a blood test also but basically to confirm what we already knew. I opted to have the vet hook her to a saline IV and warm her up and send her home with me the same day.
I asked her her honest opinion, if hospitalization would vastly improve her chances of surviving. The vet said probably not - it may prolong the inevitable. So if you want more time, it's an option. But Sadie is very far advanced in her disease. So, vet sent me home with poor Sadie and instructed me to love on her and keep her warm and fed if possible.
Since that day (yesterday) it has been a complete downward slope. I have cried (I'll bet) literal ounces of tears, over maybe 10 total breakdowns in the last 48 hours. I have literally never dealt with the death of a pet before. I always knew it was a terrible thing, but I had absolutely no idea. This is literally the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with. My gosh it's just unbearable. I can't cry any more tears.
Any advice or hugs? I'm just trying to keep her comfortable and let her know she's loved. For instance she loves our little "road trips" where I take her for a little ride around town and she rests her body on my lap and her chin on my wrist. So far we've done three.
She has stopped eating and has began startling easily. Very jumpy. She still drinks now and then. Still loves to be held. I can't seem to let go. Been drinking and taking prescription meds to cope.
I've bounced all the hell between despair, to acceptance, to anger, to "it's not fair for this to happen to HER, she's such a good cat", to loneliness, depression, relief, and all back through again.
How does this happen so fast??
I felt I needed to talk about this and share this with some fellow cat lovers. Sorry for the long post!
2017 :
lol
Yesterday :
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