Sabrina crossed the Bridge tonight

les26

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About 13 years ago we took in Sabrina, a beautiful Calico and her two kittens, they were living in the "cat condos" that I built for them and some other outdoor cats and they joined our family. A few months ago we noticed that she was losing weight and eating more, but we figured it was just her age, and she was NOT a cat that we could easily get to take to the vet, she was terrified of it, in fact years ago she had a cut above her eye, we could not catch her to take her so we had to have a woman from the Cat Shack come in and net her, that was crazy! But we then noticed that she was looking better, so we thought maybe she was just sick but getting over it. But she started losing weight again fast just a short while ago, and I ordered some Thyroid Gold to give her as her symptoms seemed to match Hyperthyroidism, but we never got to use it. Last night when I came in from soccer practice, I noticed that she was breathing heavier, I asked Deb about it but she said she wasn't doing it earlier and in fact was laying on her back on the floor rolling around. But I saw that and again this morning and thought maybe it was related to the thyroid issue, so we took her tonight to an emergency vet hospital as I thought she probably would have to be in there for a few days to get tested and treated, so we caught her, had to follow her around the house quite a bit to get her, we didn't want to stress her but I knew that she HAD to go, she wasn't doing well, so we took her in and they took her back right away because of the breathing issues, and soon after that they called us back and said that she went into cardiac arrest, they tried to bring her back but could not, but they also said that her heart and lungs were affected and said "did you know that she has a mass on her chest?" and we explained that we couldn't even hold her or pick her up so no, and the vet said that she most likely had cancer or a heart issue or both, and said "there was most likely nothing we could have done" and I asked if we would've brought her in months ago would it have made a difference and she didn't think so, that she had several issues and was "very sick, you did nothing wrong", so we don't know if she even had a thyroid issue but it is moot now, and she said if they had seen things and cancer is hard to detect when it is small she might've had a rough life with treatments or operations and such, so as traumatic as this was she went fast, we were hoping that we didn't come home and find her dead, we fed them, she ate, and we tracked her down and took her but she passed at the vet, she saved us the decision if we should put her down, she made the choice for us.

It is tough as you know, very tough to lose them, but she had a WONDERFUL life inside with us, she would've passed years ago outside had we not taken them in, she had food and shelter and treats and played string toys and had LOVE, she is fine now, just fine, and we told her as we finally could hold her after she passed "when we meet again it will be tears of joy not sadness", and she is now reunited with her brother Skipper who died about 5 years ago of most likely a sudden heart attack or blood clot, and with all of the others that have passed and are happy once again....

You were a good girl "Brina", or as Deb called her at times "Green Beans", we love you and are so sorry that you had to have this happen to you, but we will meet again one day. :rbheart: :(
 

epona

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Much love to you and condolences on your loss - and a big thank you for giving Sabrina a good life, she might not have had that much without your help and love.
 
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les26

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She was such a gentle cat, always more in the "background" like her brother Skipper was but a bit more outgoing. The last few years she got more social with us and would let us pet her, she would come up to us, mostly to Deb, and she let her scratch her ears and sometimes she would flop on the floor and roll around, but we could never pick her up she would freak out! But about a week ago or so she actually jumped on Deb's lap a few times and once on mine, meowed at me and I was shocked that she did that, but looking back now I think that was her way of saying "solong" but also "thank you", she had a wonderful life here and we were talking this morning that even if we had taken her in sooner like the vet said they would've said she had cancer and other issues and we would've had to have made some very hard choices as to operate or do whatever, and it would've been near impossible to pill her and impossible to give her shots as we couldn't hold her, and it would've been so stressful every day trying to catch her to do that, like it was last night tracking her from room to room trying to catch her and take her to the vet, she was so scared and even cried as she was hiding and that was the FIRST TIME in 14 years we EVER heard her cry, she was a very quiet cat, so gentle and innocent, hardly ever misbehaved, so for us to have to chase and grab her last night was absolutley HORRIBLE to see her so upset, but we HAD to do it, we HAD to get her to the vet, and like Di & Bob has said MANY times "don't dwell on the ending, focus on the good times", and I said to Deb "do not let one HORRIBLE evening tarnish 14 GREAT years with her", and I think she knew it was her time, for her to have a heart attack at the vet told us that she was weak and as traumatic as that was it was better that she went quickly, had they tried to operate or whatever would've been awful, so the sweet little thing made the decision for us, we didn't have to make the choice to put her down, as horrible as we know that is.

We KNOW you are fine now Sabrina, just fine, no tumor or issues, playing with your brother Skipper and your two babies that died here of posioning, and you are with "Mama" cat again, we will ALWAYS love you honey.......:rbheart: 🙏
 

di and bob

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I cried when I read your beautiful tribute to such a wonderful little girl, and yes, as I have said MANY times, try not to dwell on the horrible end, but instead celebrate all those wonderful years you spent with her. It is so much easier to have pain and grief become the forefront of your thoughts. Trauma becomes the all-consuming focus in times like these. But that sweet girl would never want that for someone she loves so very much, just as you would want for her to go on if you were the first to go, so she does for you. Because that is love.
You both have huge hearts to carry so many bonds of love. They are treasures, each and every one to be carried in your souls for the rest of your lives. These bonds of love are spiritual, so eternal, and they are shared with all of those little ones who have passed in your care. They died with happiness and love in their souls because of your care and love. They are each and every one of them at peace because of that love.
I know Sabrina is happily playing with her brother and those sweet kittens. Where she will wait for your glorious reunion, that to her will pass in the blink of an eye. "Do not cry because it is over, smile because it happened!".......RIP precious Sabrina. You will never be forgotten, you will always have a secure place in loving hearts. May the good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again!
 

betsygee

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Aww, little 'Green Beans', I love that name. :hearthrob: It sounds like she did have a wonderful life with you and gave you lots of love in return. Sweet girl--rest in peace, Sabrina. :rbheart:
 

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I'm so sorry for your loss. What a beautiful tribute. You gave Sabrina a wonderful life full of love, comfort and warmth. Something that without you and Deb she never would of known. She'll be in good company at the bridge. RIP sweet Sabrina :rbheart:
 
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les26

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THANK YOU ALL for the sweet words of love and comfort, Deb and I had tears streaming down our faces as I read them to her. It is so so hard, yet we know this is how it had to be, how it had to play out, but we just hope the little thing wasn't suffering and she didn't seem to be except a little at the end with the breathing issue, but she went in right away the next day and is surely at Peace now, I was just outside going to open the back of Deb's Rav 4 and I looked down and there was a little white feather, a sign that she is just fine now, and in a MUCH better place than this world has become.

And we will see her again and ALL of the ones that have passed over the years and it will be joyous!!

Thanks again as the messages do comfort us. :rbheart:
 

Mamanyt1953

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Rest you gentle, Sabrina, dream you deep. Your pawprints are on someone's heart forever.

What Sabrina knew of home, of love, of safety, she knew because of you and your wife. You did your best for her, always respecting her for who she was. She loved you. Now, from her new home in That Place Where All Things Are Known, she sends her love for you, translated and purified into Love, to walk with you down through all your days. Because Love abide. Always and forever, Love abides.
 
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les26

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Thanks again for the wonderful replies, they help immensely.

I think Sabrina helped us and Sylvester today. I will update that post in "Cat Health" soon, but late March he developed Uveitis and was treated for it and when he was in the vet on April 20th for his grooming and checkup they checked his eye and said "it looks amazing, you can stop the drops", but it still doesn't look right, so I called them last week and asked about it, they said to restart the eye drops until we see the cat opthamologist July 16th (that's how far ahead she is booked!) and basically defered us to her as she is the specialist. But I didn't feel comfortable just restarting a steroid drop over the phone, so I was trying to figure out what to do, that's a long time to wait to be seen and they all say this lady is the best around, so I called today to see if they by any chance had a cancellation today as Saturday is the only day we can get him in there since we both work and amazingly they had one at 11:00! And this is the SAME PLACE that we had taken Sabrina the other horrible night, we had to walk past the door where we were with her so we still were uneasy and had some bad vibes about it, but we both said "I have a feeling Sabrina helped us get in here quicker for Sylvester" and it is good she did as he is still having some issues that like I said I will post an update about soon.

Thank you Sabrina, I am sure you had a huge role in this today!!! :rbheart:
 
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les26

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Deb and I both at times still struggle thinking about "if we had taken her months ago could they have helped her?" and I know that I asked the vet that and said "I don't want this to haunt me" but she said "no, you did nothing wrong. She was very sick most likely with cancer and other issues" so I guess she was saying when she lost weight it was already too late, and Deb remembers her saying it "was most likely very aggressive" so had we even been able to take her months ago it might not have helped, she could've been stressed and had a heart attack and maybe died at home or on the way to the vet, or they might've said they could operate but she might not have survived the surgery, or they might've said we had to pill her or give her shots but how could we have done that when she only let us near her on her terms? I know it is the grief that has ahold of us and is playing mental games as it will, have told dozens of people that here on this site that, but when it happens to you you must really believe what you are saying, and I drilled it into Deb's head when she was so upset that "her last few hours in her own home and on this Earth were horrible" that it HAD to be that way, she wouldn't let us catch her, she was moving around and hiding from us and scared and crying and it killed us to see that, but we HAD to get her, we had no choice, but I also was awake last night around 1:45 thinking about that and it upset me so, but then Deb helped me and talked me through it like I did her, that we couldn't catch her and even if we did months earlier the prognosis most likely wouldn't have been good, and I KNOW it is the grief but it is so easy to self blame and second guess and blame yourself, and I think since she was such a gentle cat and in the background not in my face like Stanley is or Sylvester somewhat is it hurts more, that she was quiet and gentle, but I know it had to work out this way but we surely HATED it and will go back to those horrible last moments but with time they will fade away like all the rest did.
 

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Cats are so adept at not letting you know what’s going on under the hood, and I DO think her special meow near the end was her way of making the farewell rounds, and also, thanking you, for being diligent, loving cat owners. Wouldn’t it be something if Sabrina was guiding Sylvester to aide! I wouldn’t be surprised about that either, given how cats can subtly vibe us into things. Hopefully this proves to be a silver lining to your grief, and keep us posted!
 

Jcatbird

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I am so very sorry you had to say goodbye to Sabrina. Such a wonderful kitty. I weep at the loss but when you described her rolling around and enjoying life there, I could smile. She was a very happy kitty. Recently I had two losses due to cancer and both times I had to make the end decision. Any time we lose a loved one, we look back and question. No questions here. She went naturally and she had held on so you would not have to be there.
I have been following your story about Sylvester and it really is something how things fell into place just when they needed to. You were there in the same vet. I know that was hard but Sabrina is still helping you. Cats are very empathic and healing creatures and perhaps she guided you past the first difficult thing you needed to do. You took Sylvester and it all changed from facing a very hard memory at the vet to a time of relief for you and Sylvester. I suspect that Sylvester will be helping you through this.
The white feather. That really struck me because of a personal experience, also a white feather. She showed you she has wings now. You gave her the greatest gift. Love.
 
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