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- Aug 9, 2021
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I hope this is the right place to ask this. I found a couple of similar threads but none like this. I’m sick with covid right now so forgive me if I ramble a little bit.
My now old roommate moved out last Thursday and asked me if he could leave the cat for a day or two and I agreed. It’s been 5 days and I didn’t hear from him until Monday night. I don’t want to let the cat go with him, what can I do? I’m sorry this is so long but I need to show the depth of his neglect.
Under normal circumstances I wouldn’t be here, I’d just turn him over to his owner. However, these aren’t normal circumstances. His owner is mid-20’s and the most irresponsible, uncaring pet owner I’ve met in my 52 years on this earth. When he first moved in and brought the cat here, he was severely malnourished, skinny, had a coat like steel wool and covered in fleas. I could see there was trouble coming but I didn’t interfere, it was his cat. I was on medical leave from work at the time so I was here 24/7. I noticed he was t feeding the cat regularly but more like every 2-3 days when he remembered. His water was dirty for days at a time and his litter box wasn’t cleaned until he would pee in the floor by his litterbox.
A couple of weeks in the cat started coming to me for food because he wasn’t being fed. Being the animal lover I am, I approached roomie and attempted to explain that he needs to feed the cat regularly because he’s coming to me to be fed. Roomie went ballistic and told me to ignore him, he’s an animal, he will be fine. I said all I could say but it was to no avail. I couldnt walk through the house without the cat getting under my feet hungry, wanting to be fed. I can’t be cruel so I started feeding and watering him.
Later that week I was eating dinner and noticed him getting in position to pee in the floor. I couldn’t say anything with a mouthful of food so I could only observe for a few seconds. He wasn’t peeing, he was shaking all over and when I approached him he didn’t move, just shook. I bent over and touched him and every muscle in his body was tight from trying to force pee out. I knew what this was so I texted the roommate at work and told him he should take him into the vet in the morning because he had crystals in his urine, a UTI, or both. I offered to take him in because he’s a night worker and sleeps days. His response was I’ll take him when I get paid next week. He had no urgency over anything and was fine letting the cat suffer until then. No way, I took him and paid the bill. (Roomie did pay it back on payday). The amount of crystals in his urine was the most I had ever seen, it was more crystal than urine on the scope. The cause was old, stale, cheapest you can buy food and lack of fresh water.
Now you probably already guessed but yes I was the one giving him his medication daily. The roomie asked me three days in if I had been because he forgot. I said yes and would continue to do so because it was needed daily to be effective. Two days later he dosed him after I already dosed him that day so he got double dosed. Again I told the roomie “I got it” for the same reasons as before. He says, oh yea I forgot. He recovered from the crystals just fine.
A few months later the cat approached me and sat down in front of me for a few seconds, stood up and walked away. There was a thick, blood color discharge from his anus. I did the same as before and texted the roomie. I got the same answer as last time, I’ll take him when I get paid in 10 days. Again I footed the bill and while the roomie did make attempts to medicate him regularly, he’s that irresponsible and didn’t do it. I made sure he got his meds daily for two weeks. He recovered from the worms just fine. I purchased some flea meds and got rid of the fleas that caused the worms and they’ve never returned.
The roomie started buying more wet food which was nice but one day bought like 12 cans and the cat didn’t like it, he’d sniff it and walk away. I told the roomie to pick up a different flavor so he would eat and the response was he is an animal and will eat that shit when he gets hungry enough. Ok, well how long does he have to not eat before you realize he’s not going to? He’s not a wild animal any more, he became a pet when you brought him inside 2 years ago. He just scoffed so I basically started caring for the cat as if he were mine. The roomie noticed the litterbox being cleaned and started cleaning it more often but never daily. No matter how nicely I asked, how loud I yelled, this young man is a slob through and through. I came close to throwing him out after I found him throwing a weeks worth of dominos boxes, fast food wrappers and bags in his bedroom floor. I swear that’s no exaggeration
As the time passed the roomie began shutting the cat out of his room completely, even when he was home or sleeping. He spent no time with him, never groomed him, played with him, he did nothing whatsoever but clean the litterbox here and there. Now you have to understand that this kid did two things, he worked and played video games with his door closed. He was in his room at least 12-14 hours a day and the cat was never invited in. On his off days, he spent every waking moment playing games on his PS4. He would come out to use the restroom and closed the bedroom door when he went back in. He’s neglected him for almost 2 years.
Anyone with a cat knows what the cat will do in those circumstances, he bonded with me and the roomie was no longer of any consequence. Roomie would scrub him on head as he walked out to leave, if he saw him.
He told me a few weeks ago he had found a new place so I asked him to leave the cat, he was offended I asked and he said no, why would I do that? I didn’t really say anything but how about you aren’t mentally equipped or capable of caring for another living creature that depends on you for everything. Since he’s been gone, the cat has not gone looking for him, hasn’t given any indication that he’s no longer here, he’s actually more calm than ever before
I’m not just beating the guy up, I e tried to help him in every way possible, many, many, times but his IQ is on the low side and with that level of mental capacity he’s not capable. For him, it’s not a pet to be cared for and loved, it’s an animal he thinks about once in a while and nothing more.
I wish I could tell the kid what he could correct that would change his relationship with the cat but I can’t. I can say things but he doesn’t comprehend any of it and at that point he tries to deflect and turn it around on you, like I’m somehow responsible for his inadequacies. If you suggest something, he will do the exact opposite just so he does not do what you suggested but rather what he decided was best. Facts don’t matter, statistics don’t matter, the only thing that matters is him and doing what he wants to do. I’ve really never met an individual so poorly equipped for life; it’s unbelievable.
I can’t let the cat suffer through the neglect until it kills him, I won’t do it. Please help me if you can, I’m not sure what to do next. I live in Florida.
My now old roommate moved out last Thursday and asked me if he could leave the cat for a day or two and I agreed. It’s been 5 days and I didn’t hear from him until Monday night. I don’t want to let the cat go with him, what can I do? I’m sorry this is so long but I need to show the depth of his neglect.
Under normal circumstances I wouldn’t be here, I’d just turn him over to his owner. However, these aren’t normal circumstances. His owner is mid-20’s and the most irresponsible, uncaring pet owner I’ve met in my 52 years on this earth. When he first moved in and brought the cat here, he was severely malnourished, skinny, had a coat like steel wool and covered in fleas. I could see there was trouble coming but I didn’t interfere, it was his cat. I was on medical leave from work at the time so I was here 24/7. I noticed he was t feeding the cat regularly but more like every 2-3 days when he remembered. His water was dirty for days at a time and his litter box wasn’t cleaned until he would pee in the floor by his litterbox.
A couple of weeks in the cat started coming to me for food because he wasn’t being fed. Being the animal lover I am, I approached roomie and attempted to explain that he needs to feed the cat regularly because he’s coming to me to be fed. Roomie went ballistic and told me to ignore him, he’s an animal, he will be fine. I said all I could say but it was to no avail. I couldnt walk through the house without the cat getting under my feet hungry, wanting to be fed. I can’t be cruel so I started feeding and watering him.
Later that week I was eating dinner and noticed him getting in position to pee in the floor. I couldn’t say anything with a mouthful of food so I could only observe for a few seconds. He wasn’t peeing, he was shaking all over and when I approached him he didn’t move, just shook. I bent over and touched him and every muscle in his body was tight from trying to force pee out. I knew what this was so I texted the roommate at work and told him he should take him into the vet in the morning because he had crystals in his urine, a UTI, or both. I offered to take him in because he’s a night worker and sleeps days. His response was I’ll take him when I get paid next week. He had no urgency over anything and was fine letting the cat suffer until then. No way, I took him and paid the bill. (Roomie did pay it back on payday). The amount of crystals in his urine was the most I had ever seen, it was more crystal than urine on the scope. The cause was old, stale, cheapest you can buy food and lack of fresh water.
Now you probably already guessed but yes I was the one giving him his medication daily. The roomie asked me three days in if I had been because he forgot. I said yes and would continue to do so because it was needed daily to be effective. Two days later he dosed him after I already dosed him that day so he got double dosed. Again I told the roomie “I got it” for the same reasons as before. He says, oh yea I forgot. He recovered from the crystals just fine.
A few months later the cat approached me and sat down in front of me for a few seconds, stood up and walked away. There was a thick, blood color discharge from his anus. I did the same as before and texted the roomie. I got the same answer as last time, I’ll take him when I get paid in 10 days. Again I footed the bill and while the roomie did make attempts to medicate him regularly, he’s that irresponsible and didn’t do it. I made sure he got his meds daily for two weeks. He recovered from the worms just fine. I purchased some flea meds and got rid of the fleas that caused the worms and they’ve never returned.
The roomie started buying more wet food which was nice but one day bought like 12 cans and the cat didn’t like it, he’d sniff it and walk away. I told the roomie to pick up a different flavor so he would eat and the response was he is an animal and will eat that shit when he gets hungry enough. Ok, well how long does he have to not eat before you realize he’s not going to? He’s not a wild animal any more, he became a pet when you brought him inside 2 years ago. He just scoffed so I basically started caring for the cat as if he were mine. The roomie noticed the litterbox being cleaned and started cleaning it more often but never daily. No matter how nicely I asked, how loud I yelled, this young man is a slob through and through. I came close to throwing him out after I found him throwing a weeks worth of dominos boxes, fast food wrappers and bags in his bedroom floor. I swear that’s no exaggeration
As the time passed the roomie began shutting the cat out of his room completely, even when he was home or sleeping. He spent no time with him, never groomed him, played with him, he did nothing whatsoever but clean the litterbox here and there. Now you have to understand that this kid did two things, he worked and played video games with his door closed. He was in his room at least 12-14 hours a day and the cat was never invited in. On his off days, he spent every waking moment playing games on his PS4. He would come out to use the restroom and closed the bedroom door when he went back in. He’s neglected him for almost 2 years.
Anyone with a cat knows what the cat will do in those circumstances, he bonded with me and the roomie was no longer of any consequence. Roomie would scrub him on head as he walked out to leave, if he saw him.
He told me a few weeks ago he had found a new place so I asked him to leave the cat, he was offended I asked and he said no, why would I do that? I didn’t really say anything but how about you aren’t mentally equipped or capable of caring for another living creature that depends on you for everything. Since he’s been gone, the cat has not gone looking for him, hasn’t given any indication that he’s no longer here, he’s actually more calm than ever before
I’m not just beating the guy up, I e tried to help him in every way possible, many, many, times but his IQ is on the low side and with that level of mental capacity he’s not capable. For him, it’s not a pet to be cared for and loved, it’s an animal he thinks about once in a while and nothing more.
I wish I could tell the kid what he could correct that would change his relationship with the cat but I can’t. I can say things but he doesn’t comprehend any of it and at that point he tries to deflect and turn it around on you, like I’m somehow responsible for his inadequacies. If you suggest something, he will do the exact opposite just so he does not do what you suggested but rather what he decided was best. Facts don’t matter, statistics don’t matter, the only thing that matters is him and doing what he wants to do. I’ve really never met an individual so poorly equipped for life; it’s unbelievable.
I can’t let the cat suffer through the neglect until it kills him, I won’t do it. Please help me if you can, I’m not sure what to do next. I live in Florida.