Rivalry / Jealousy between female cats

[detroitcatlady]

I have 3 cats. They all get along very well with each other. They groom each other, cuddle next to each other on the bed and other furniture and play together. As my youngest female Shadow (7 months) has been getting older, there has been a lot of competition between her and my older female Treasure (1 1/2 year old). It mostly seems to be related to sleeping on the bed. Treasure loves to go under the comforter on the bed to sleep and Shadow will jump on top of her, wake her up and Treasure will run out of the room. At first I thought it was just playful behavior but I began noticing that as soon as Treasure leaves the room, Shadow will curl up on the bed and go to sleep. Now she does this behavior a lot and it often leads to Shadow chasing Treasure around the house, jumping on top of her and biting her. Treasure hisses and growls and tries to run away, so I separate them and they calm down, and later I usually am able to put them back together without any problems. Now I have to keep them separate when no one is home because I worry about them getting into it. I never used to have to do this.

The strange thing is that Shadow can be very loving to her. I see them grooming each other and cuddling with each other all the time. One moment they will be getting along and the next Shadow will be picking a fight with her. It's very puzzling.

Both cats love to lay next to me or on top of me while I am sleeping. Lately I am noticing that they are competing to lay on top of me. Shadow has always been very attached to me and has always loved to cuddle and she will often cuddle with Treasure while laying next to me or sometimes both of them will lay on my legs or in my lap. I've always thought it was cute that they liked to sleep in the bed with me but lately Shadow seems to get jealous when Treasure lays next to me or on my lap. If she sees me pet Treasure or give her attention in any way she will appear to get jealous and take it out on Treasure, jumping on top of her and biting her. Sometimes when I get home if I am watching TV on the couch this behavior will become an issue. My boyfriend thinks they are fighting over me, since they never compete to lay next to or on top of him and most of them time they will not snuggle with him at all and instead go lay somewhere where they can be alone when I am not there.

Shadow gets a lot of attention. All of my cats do. But with her it often seems that it is never enough to satisfy.  I'm not sure why she has become so rival with Treasure, as she does not do this behavior with my male cat at all. She used to play with my male cat all the time, but now she seems to only want to play with me or seek attention from Treasure in the wrong ways. They have lots of toys, cat trees and other things to climb and go in to have their "alone time". Treasure doesn't sleep in most of these because when she does Shadow finds her and jumps on her and tries claim it as her own. Sometimes Shadow doesn't care where Treasure sleeps, she will still try to make her go away. Lately I am finding Treasure sleeping in the bathroom and trying to get into cabinets to hide which she never used to do.

 

[mollyblue]

Well we experienced something sort of similar between our two lovely little ladies, and after watching them closely and posting about it here, we came to the conclusion that our younger kitty was trying very hard to be JUST LIKE our older kitty... and I believe the term used was hero worship... It was bad.  I couldn't play toys with the older cat without the younger barging in, couldn't feed her, couldn't cuddle her... nothing.  Then, the younger kitty adopted our stray/feral cats kitten... now the younger cat and kitten are best buds, but he is starting to do the same thing to her now.  She doesn't like it either.  All of them though, once the attention is diverted away from them, in a couple days, they are like "Hey, what about me".  Life with multiple cats can sometimes be difficult if we try to iron out every detail, and it is so HARD not to.  But left to their own devices, they will work out their pecking order, their sleeping spots, their play times and leave me alone times.  I do sneak in something special for each of my cats, that the others know nothing about.

Reminds me of a story about a momma... and this momma, when alone with her children would tell each of them "You are my favorite because...but don't tell the others, I couldn't bear to hurt their feelings."  when momma died, and all the kids were gathered, the eldest child looked at his siblings and said, I shouldn't say anything, she would never have wanted you to be hurt and wouldn't want you to know, but I was her favorite... we had this special bond.  The siblings each looked at the others and said, but she always told ME I was her favorite...

Each of my cats is my favorite.  I don't think it will be bad if you and Treasure have a secret hiding spot you let her go to when Shadow gets to be too much.  I think its okay if you have a special playtime with Shadow and use a toy no one else gets to play with to get Shadow tired out.  There would be nothing wrong with the boy kitty getting a special treat for staying out of the drama.  Its okay for each cat to know how much it means to you, but when it comes to them getting along, they are going to have draw their own lines.

 

[Anne]

Ahh, the social intricacies of a multi-cat household 

I think you have two issues at play here - 

1. Shadow is still a kitten. She's now big enough to be even more of a nuisance, with a larger physical presence, yet at heart she's still a kitten with the energy levels of a kitten. There's a discrepancy there and Treasure is likely to lose her patience occasionally.

2. Shadow becoming a full-sized cat means she needs to find her place in the social hierarchy. In all likelihood she is challenging Treasure's superior position. Only time will tell which cat will become the dominant female. It can also change down the road.

There isn't much you can do about the social dominance struggle. You have to let the cats find their own equilibrium. Here's what I would suggest - 

1. Make sure Treasure has her safe zone or zones. Places where she can find some rest without being bothered by Shadow. Cat furniture and cat shelves could be such places, or it can just be a spot high up, like on the fridge. 

2. Whenever you see them "clash" in any way, stay calm. Do not reprimand either cat and never shout or make any other scary or sudden noise. You need to let them work things out without adding to existing stress levels.

3. Monitor Treasure's stress levels. Make sure you don't add to them by eliminating and avoiding other stressors. More about possible stressors for cats - 

 [article="30274"]Potential Stressors In Cats The Ultimate Checklist​[/article]  

And more about helping her cope with stress - 

 [article="30316"]Six Surefire Strategies To Reduce Stress In Cats​[/article]  

Good luck and let us know how they're doing!

 

[detroitcatlady]

Thanks for all the good advice, going to try what you suggested and see if it helps. It would probably help for treasure to have a few more hiding spots, most places she goes to hide Shadow is big enough to go now too, I think this is part of the problem. When Shadow was younger all Treasure had to do was jump up to a high place like a cabinet or on top of the fridge and she could get away, but now that Shadow is bigger she has a hard time doing so. I also don't think that Shadow is intending to hurt Treasure. The only reason I worry so much about it is because Shadow's behavior seems to be stressing Treasure out and obviously scaring her at times.  I think she just wants to play and Treasure gets annoyed easily now that she is older and has calmed down from kittenhood herself. The cats spend most of their time together and barely get any 'alone time' so maybe giving them each a little time to themselves to spend one on one with me would help them get along better.