My little girl is gone, my best friend, my confidant, my buddy.... We laid Sadie to rest July 1st and my heart is broken.
I can't stop the tears as I am writing this now, it's why I haven't written anything until now and she has been gone almost 3 weeks. My wife doesn't understand, she thinks I should be over it already... but some of that is because I told her that someone had told me I seemed like I was starting into a deep depression. The person really didn't even know me, was an email pen pal, so I shouldn't have told my wife what they said.
My wife grew up not having pets because her mom was scared of dogs and cats. I had a cat when we got together, then he was killed and I waited 8 months before I could get another. Then we got Sadie and my other cat was killed... my wife was on and off with Sadie, but got real loving and close to her after we had a scare with an infection last November and thought we had lost her. Then after she was the one that always fussed and didn't want Sadie on the couch or recliner, she started holding Sadie in her lap and fell in love even more. She is still upset too... I couldn't even look at photos of Sadie up until last Friday and I put one of her on my desktop. The first time my wife walked into the room, I wasn't in there and she came out crying, said it caught her off guard... then she told me the other day, "Well, if I can get over my mamma, you can get over Sadie", her mom passed last year.
Unfortunately Sadie caught an infection about the 11th of May and we took her to an animal hospital. They figured out the problem in a few days and she had to have a blood transfusion. Sadie got to come home and I was relieved, but it was short lived. After 4 days, she started to get sick once in awhile and she couldn't eat the hard crunchy snacks we got her or she threw them up immediately. Then it got worse, she couldn't keep anything down, even water. We went back to the animal hospital, and they ran a bunch more test, they kept Sadie for 2 or 3 days... she was still throwing up. Finally one of the vets said, well, maybe you can take her home and can get her to eat and stop vomiting. That was on Thursday, by Monday, I had found a cat vet in another town about a 40 minute drive from us. The vet said she had to have fluids, so I was taking her to the vet every day for fluids and then they taught me how to do it and I was giving her fluids at night.
Sadie had never ridden much at all, but she hated the carrier. So I took her out and sit her on a towel folded on the floor of the passenger side of my truck. She liked it, she would either just sit there as I talked to her the whole way or she would get in my lap and watch out the window, or just sit in my lap. She kept getting smaller, losing weight, from almost 6 pounds down to 3.7. Then the vet wanted to try a steroid to calm her irritable bowel syndrome. I was finally able to get Sadie to eat by feeding her tiny amounts, about 1/8 tspn and got it down to every 20 minutes, any more and she got sick, but my poor girl was starving.... then she gained a pound and I thought we were making progress, then she lost again, down to 3.4, then 3.1. The vet said we would see about increasing the dosage of the steroid next week, but we never made it...the thing was, the vet had given her a blood test before the steroid and said, "This little girl isn't ready to go! Her kidneys are fine, her liver is fine, her blood is fine! If we can just get her to hold her food down and put some weight on her."
My poor girl had gotten weak, Weds. June 29th, I noticed her looking like she was having trouble getting up off the floor, Thursday June 30th, she was worse... by Thursday night, I didn't realize she couldn't get up, but noticed she stayed in her bed and was real vocal, all day Thursday and that night, every time we walked by her bed she would look at us and meow. She had been peeing in her bed, or on a rug in the bathroom a few times during the week. Then I felt really bad... I didn't realize when I got up Thursday night and had to go get a Tums, when I opened the door, Sadie was laying on the floor... but she was in a weird position, she meowed at me kind of loudly as she had been squeaky and hoarse over the coarse of the last month. I just said, "You ok girl?" and she would meow again, I said it again, you ok? and she meowed.... the next morning I realized, I think she needed to go to the box or something and had gotten up and fallen... but she somehow had pulled herself back into her bed. The next morning my wife said she won't even get up to eat, I said I don't think she can.. so I started bringher dish to her with food every 20 minutes and she was eating like crazy, I gave her a couple meds, then noticed she seemed weaker, so I wouldn't giver her the antibiotic as it made her nauseous.
First I went and got Sadie's "string", me and her had played with the same string since she was a kitten.She slapped it with both paws and grabbed it in her teeth like she always did, usually she would walk away and pull it out of my hand and I would say, "wups! You got it away from me!" This time, I just dropped my end and said, "Wups! You got it away from me!" then I held it back up and she slapped it a few times and then seemed weak, so I stopped.... a little later I went back in there and she was just lying with her head down. I was fixing to pick her up to take her to the vet for our daily fluids, but her head was limp almost. I raised her face to look in her eyes and she was looking in the distance, then looked me in the eye and back in the distance.. I went and called the vet and told them and they said, just bring her on. When I went back in there, she was almost unresponsive, I sat with her rubbing her talking to her and then she suddenly had a heart attack or seizure I'm not sure which, then in a few minutes she had another... I called the vet and told them we weren't coming... I went and sat with Sadie talking to her, brushing her, rubbing her for about 30 minutes then her breathing got short and she was just taking gasping breaths every 30 seconds and then she was gone......
Now I was devastated, I was lost... I had literally been with Sadie every minute of every day for the last month and a half. I have been out of work since January and am now on disability. When I was working, every day when I would go to leave, I had to put Sadie on our enclosed back porch, it's about 30-40 feet long, about 6 foot wide, she had her food, water, litter box and a four foot step ladder she could walk up to get on top of the kitchen cabinet counter on the porch to look out the window and had her towel laying right where she could sit or lay and see out two different windows. She would always meow, like she didn't want me to leave her and I would say, "I have to go to the mean place today, but tomorrow is saturday and I can stay home with you." I had hated my job the last 5 years, that's why I called it the mean place. So then when I was out of work, I told her, "Now I can stay with you all day".
If I went outside I would ask her if she wanted to go, she followed me everywhere. If I didn't have anything to do for a moment, I would look to see where she was or ask my wife where is Sadie? and I would go to her and talk to her or pet her. When I had worked, in the winter when the days are so short, I would come home and she would be waiting for me, watching out the window. As soon as I come in and gave her a few snacks, then me and her would take a walk to look around the yard and garden a few minutes before it was dark. If I didn't start to go out, she would go to the door and meow and wait for me to follow her, for us to go out. Every morning I was home, she would go to the door wanting to go out, and I would tell her, "You ready to go and see what is going on out there? was anybody sneaking around on the patio last night?" Then we would go out before the sun was up, me just looking around and she would be smelling of everything, checking everything out, then in a little while she would go get in the window for a nap. She learned how to let me know she wanted me to play string with her... meowing and going into the foyer, if I didn't follow fast enough she would come back and "walk" me to the bedroom where I had to keep the string hidden because she would wake us up at 3am wanting to play string
The first few days, I was constantly looking at the clock, and my mind instantly said, "It's 6am, time for this med and this one, It's 7am, time for thyroid medicine, 8am time for antibiotic etc...the first week like to have killed me, I didn't know what to do... no trips to the vet, no feedings, I sat twiddling my thumbs.... I felt bad, because she had gotten so skinny, but she was completely herself and I couldn't have told them to kill her, I would rather had told someone to kill me. I was angry, because it wasn't fair, she was so healthy organ wise, if we could of just gotten rid of that stupid IBS! I never gave up hope, not one day did I think to myself, this isn't going to work, or she isn't going to make it. I prayed and prayed.... I don't have any children, so to me Sadie was like my child....she had the softest fur I have ever felt on a rabbit or anything... I used to pick her up and hold her paw between my finger and thumb and she would curl her paw, holding my "hand". The last day we were coming home from the vet, she was on the passenger side floor sitting up looking at me, and I said, "You know your my sweetie don't you?" and she would give me that soft blink/wink, and I would say, You sure are, your my sweetie pie, I love you!" and she would give me that blink/wink again... finally I said, "I see you winking at me! I see you over there winking at me!" and she would do it again....
I'm sorry this is so long ya'll....
I can't stop the tears as I am writing this now, it's why I haven't written anything until now and she has been gone almost 3 weeks. My wife doesn't understand, she thinks I should be over it already... but some of that is because I told her that someone had told me I seemed like I was starting into a deep depression. The person really didn't even know me, was an email pen pal, so I shouldn't have told my wife what they said.
My wife grew up not having pets because her mom was scared of dogs and cats. I had a cat when we got together, then he was killed and I waited 8 months before I could get another. Then we got Sadie and my other cat was killed... my wife was on and off with Sadie, but got real loving and close to her after we had a scare with an infection last November and thought we had lost her. Then after she was the one that always fussed and didn't want Sadie on the couch or recliner, she started holding Sadie in her lap and fell in love even more. She is still upset too... I couldn't even look at photos of Sadie up until last Friday and I put one of her on my desktop. The first time my wife walked into the room, I wasn't in there and she came out crying, said it caught her off guard... then she told me the other day, "Well, if I can get over my mamma, you can get over Sadie", her mom passed last year.
Unfortunately Sadie caught an infection about the 11th of May and we took her to an animal hospital. They figured out the problem in a few days and she had to have a blood transfusion. Sadie got to come home and I was relieved, but it was short lived. After 4 days, she started to get sick once in awhile and she couldn't eat the hard crunchy snacks we got her or she threw them up immediately. Then it got worse, she couldn't keep anything down, even water. We went back to the animal hospital, and they ran a bunch more test, they kept Sadie for 2 or 3 days... she was still throwing up. Finally one of the vets said, well, maybe you can take her home and can get her to eat and stop vomiting. That was on Thursday, by Monday, I had found a cat vet in another town about a 40 minute drive from us. The vet said she had to have fluids, so I was taking her to the vet every day for fluids and then they taught me how to do it and I was giving her fluids at night.
Sadie had never ridden much at all, but she hated the carrier. So I took her out and sit her on a towel folded on the floor of the passenger side of my truck. She liked it, she would either just sit there as I talked to her the whole way or she would get in my lap and watch out the window, or just sit in my lap. She kept getting smaller, losing weight, from almost 6 pounds down to 3.7. Then the vet wanted to try a steroid to calm her irritable bowel syndrome. I was finally able to get Sadie to eat by feeding her tiny amounts, about 1/8 tspn and got it down to every 20 minutes, any more and she got sick, but my poor girl was starving.... then she gained a pound and I thought we were making progress, then she lost again, down to 3.4, then 3.1. The vet said we would see about increasing the dosage of the steroid next week, but we never made it...the thing was, the vet had given her a blood test before the steroid and said, "This little girl isn't ready to go! Her kidneys are fine, her liver is fine, her blood is fine! If we can just get her to hold her food down and put some weight on her."
My poor girl had gotten weak, Weds. June 29th, I noticed her looking like she was having trouble getting up off the floor, Thursday June 30th, she was worse... by Thursday night, I didn't realize she couldn't get up, but noticed she stayed in her bed and was real vocal, all day Thursday and that night, every time we walked by her bed she would look at us and meow. She had been peeing in her bed, or on a rug in the bathroom a few times during the week. Then I felt really bad... I didn't realize when I got up Thursday night and had to go get a Tums, when I opened the door, Sadie was laying on the floor... but she was in a weird position, she meowed at me kind of loudly as she had been squeaky and hoarse over the coarse of the last month. I just said, "You ok girl?" and she would meow again, I said it again, you ok? and she meowed.... the next morning I realized, I think she needed to go to the box or something and had gotten up and fallen... but she somehow had pulled herself back into her bed. The next morning my wife said she won't even get up to eat, I said I don't think she can.. so I started bringher dish to her with food every 20 minutes and she was eating like crazy, I gave her a couple meds, then noticed she seemed weaker, so I wouldn't giver her the antibiotic as it made her nauseous.
First I went and got Sadie's "string", me and her had played with the same string since she was a kitten.She slapped it with both paws and grabbed it in her teeth like she always did, usually she would walk away and pull it out of my hand and I would say, "wups! You got it away from me!" This time, I just dropped my end and said, "Wups! You got it away from me!" then I held it back up and she slapped it a few times and then seemed weak, so I stopped.... a little later I went back in there and she was just lying with her head down. I was fixing to pick her up to take her to the vet for our daily fluids, but her head was limp almost. I raised her face to look in her eyes and she was looking in the distance, then looked me in the eye and back in the distance.. I went and called the vet and told them and they said, just bring her on. When I went back in there, she was almost unresponsive, I sat with her rubbing her talking to her and then she suddenly had a heart attack or seizure I'm not sure which, then in a few minutes she had another... I called the vet and told them we weren't coming... I went and sat with Sadie talking to her, brushing her, rubbing her for about 30 minutes then her breathing got short and she was just taking gasping breaths every 30 seconds and then she was gone......
Now I was devastated, I was lost... I had literally been with Sadie every minute of every day for the last month and a half. I have been out of work since January and am now on disability. When I was working, every day when I would go to leave, I had to put Sadie on our enclosed back porch, it's about 30-40 feet long, about 6 foot wide, she had her food, water, litter box and a four foot step ladder she could walk up to get on top of the kitchen cabinet counter on the porch to look out the window and had her towel laying right where she could sit or lay and see out two different windows. She would always meow, like she didn't want me to leave her and I would say, "I have to go to the mean place today, but tomorrow is saturday and I can stay home with you." I had hated my job the last 5 years, that's why I called it the mean place. So then when I was out of work, I told her, "Now I can stay with you all day".
If I went outside I would ask her if she wanted to go, she followed me everywhere. If I didn't have anything to do for a moment, I would look to see where she was or ask my wife where is Sadie? and I would go to her and talk to her or pet her. When I had worked, in the winter when the days are so short, I would come home and she would be waiting for me, watching out the window. As soon as I come in and gave her a few snacks, then me and her would take a walk to look around the yard and garden a few minutes before it was dark. If I didn't start to go out, she would go to the door and meow and wait for me to follow her, for us to go out. Every morning I was home, she would go to the door wanting to go out, and I would tell her, "You ready to go and see what is going on out there? was anybody sneaking around on the patio last night?" Then we would go out before the sun was up, me just looking around and she would be smelling of everything, checking everything out, then in a little while she would go get in the window for a nap. She learned how to let me know she wanted me to play string with her... meowing and going into the foyer, if I didn't follow fast enough she would come back and "walk" me to the bedroom where I had to keep the string hidden because she would wake us up at 3am wanting to play string
The first few days, I was constantly looking at the clock, and my mind instantly said, "It's 6am, time for this med and this one, It's 7am, time for thyroid medicine, 8am time for antibiotic etc...the first week like to have killed me, I didn't know what to do... no trips to the vet, no feedings, I sat twiddling my thumbs.... I felt bad, because she had gotten so skinny, but she was completely herself and I couldn't have told them to kill her, I would rather had told someone to kill me. I was angry, because it wasn't fair, she was so healthy organ wise, if we could of just gotten rid of that stupid IBS! I never gave up hope, not one day did I think to myself, this isn't going to work, or she isn't going to make it. I prayed and prayed.... I don't have any children, so to me Sadie was like my child....she had the softest fur I have ever felt on a rabbit or anything... I used to pick her up and hold her paw between my finger and thumb and she would curl her paw, holding my "hand". The last day we were coming home from the vet, she was on the passenger side floor sitting up looking at me, and I said, "You know your my sweetie don't you?" and she would give me that soft blink/wink, and I would say, You sure are, your my sweetie pie, I love you!" and she would give me that blink/wink again... finally I said, "I see you winking at me! I see you over there winking at me!" and she would do it again....
I'm sorry this is so long ya'll....