Reunited 12 Week Old Kittens - Big Brother Playing Too Rough With Little Sister

[katieanne17]

I got my boy, Eli, when he was 6.5 weeks old. A friend's cat unexpectedly had a litter, and the mother ran away when the kittens were four weeks old. I had already been slated to adopt my boy and was going to around 10/12 weeks. Unfortunately my friend then had a sudden death in the family, and out of concern I offered to take mine early to take some of the bottle feeding/weaning/litter training off her hands. So I took mine early, and realize now it was definitely a mistake. Fast forward to now: he'll be 12 weeks on Thursday, and all the kittens had gone to different homes. My friend called me on Sunday and told me his sister had been returned to her after some landlord issue with her initial owner, and she asked me if I wanted to take her. So I did, and now I have Eli and Olive. The problem is, Olive had been around her siblings much longer and went to a home briefly at 9 weeks old with other cats. Eli has been the only cat in my home since 6.5 weeks. He immediately began playing with her way too rough and clearly showed that he hadn't had time to learn acceptable playing behavior with his littermates (This is my first cat and I know now I made a mistake taking him too early, I was just afraid he would be neglected as my friend was going through a really rough period.) Although Eli and Olive are littermates and the same age, he was the biggest of the litter while she was the runt, and he frequently throws all his weight on her and bites. She plays along at first but immediately begins yelping out and hissing and runs for cover. This seems to only excite him more and he chases her like she's a toy. Is it too late for him to get used to playing the right away, or did I mess up his socialization forever? It's only been two days and they've been eating fine together, curling up together to sleep.. it's just the playtime that ends in Eli roaming around the room looking for her and Olive hiding out of his reach until he calms down.

 

[Furballsmom]

You'll need to watch out for her safety until she grows big enough to be more equal. Not to worry, you, and they will be ok, just seperate them if and when necessary for now so she doesn't get hurt.

 

[susanm9006]

Personally, I wouldn’t be concerned and would let them sort it out. Even though she is smaller, if she has claws and teeth she is capable of letting him know he is being too rough. And even without her fighting back, her squeals and running from him will teach him that if he wants her to play with him he needs to be more gentle. If she was really frightened of him she wouldn’t sleep with him.

If you get concerned about the noise or Olive’s reaction to him , distract them both with a wand or laser. It also helps to wear him out with play as much as you can so he has less energy directed at her.

 

[jen]

I wouldn't be concerned at all since they are eating and sleeping together. That is good she hisses at him, this tells him she doesn't like it and he will eventually get the hint. She can tell him whats up when/if she wants to. I don't think she is scared of him at all it is all just part of play. If you are really that concerned you can physically separate them for a bit when he carries on. They will be fine. They are tough little kittens lol.

 

[ArtNJ]

There is no "playing the right way". This is how cats play; if one is smaller or more timid, they are always going to decide they had enough first, make a noise and seek to disengage. In the moment, it doesn't feel great, perhaps like a head nuggie or indian sunburn. However, the smaller kitten is not truly being hurt. If they were, they would hold a grudge and you would see evidence of that.

With human toddlers, you can stop the head nuggies and indian sunburns. Maybe. With kittens, you cannot. It is just the way it is. The smaller kitten is still getting a net benefit from not being an only cat.

Its fine to help out if it seems truly excessive so long as you distract gently so as not to discourage all playing, but don't have the illusion that you are teaching the bigger kitten anything.

 

[katieanne17]

There is no "playing the right way". This is how cats play; if one is smaller or more timid, they are always going to decide they had enough first, make a noise and seek to disengage. In the moment, it doesn't feel great, perhaps like a head nuggie or indian sunburn. However, the smaller kitten is not truly being hurt. If they were, they would hold a grudge and you would see evidence of that.

With human toddlers, you can stop the head nuggies and indian sunburns. Maybe. With kittens, you cannot. It is just the way it is. The smaller kitten is still getting a net benefit from not being an only cat.

Its fine to help out if it seems truly excessive so long as you distract gently so as not to discourage all playing, but don't have the illusion that you are teaching the bigger kitten anything.

Okay thank you! Another day has gone by and they are already doing better, I was just worried

 

[katieanne17]

I wouldn't be concerned at all since they are eating and sleeping together. That is good she hisses at him, this tells him she doesn't like it and he will eventually get the hint. She can tell him whats up when/if she wants to. I don't think she is scared of him at all it is all just part of play. If you are really that concerned you can physically separate them for a bit when he carries on. They will be fine. They are tough little kittens lol.

Thank you! They're actually doing better already!