Resident cat playing too hard with kitten?

Ellis75

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Hi everyone! I have a ~2 year old neutered male Siamese mix who has been the love of my life for the past eight months. When I adopted him, the rescue mentioned that he loves other cats (especially kittens) and recommended that I adopt one when I was able to. I moved recently and was finally able to adopt another cat, an eight month old spayed female DSH from the same rescue; the people who run the rescue remember my boy well because he spent some time there and they matched the two based on personalities.

My girl has been with us for almost two weeks and we did a slow introduction; she was really eager to meet him while he was a little more wary. He has gradually been getting more used to her and is swiping at her significantly less; they're able to boop noses sometimes, and he will sometimes allow her to brush against him without swiping at her. At this point, we allow them both free range during the day while one of us is home and separate them at night or if my boyfriend and I both have to leave the house.

For the most part, they're doing really well! However, sometimes my boy will seem to get "set off" and will pounce at the kitten; his body language looks like he's trying to play, but she usually ends up low to the ground, ears back and hissing. He also sometimes gets her trapped in a corner or, worse yet, swipes at her when she's in the litter box and traps her in there until I distract him so she can escape. Does anyone have any experience with this kind of situation? Does it seem like it's something that will just get better with time, or is there something else I should be doing to teach him not to trap her or to encourage them to play well together?
 

ArtNJ

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So it sounds like he recently got to where he is comfortable playing with her, but she isn't there yet. Perhaps the introduction could have been a week longer, but its pretty normal for the introduction to not fix everything because face-to-face is always going to be more stressful than what came before. So someone might tell you to go back and do a bit more introduction, but I don't know that is the right answer.

Other than maybe adding more litterboxes so she can always find one that isn't close to him, the biggest thing that will help is time together. Since she is only 8 months old, a *very* adaptable age, I think the odds are really good she'll get past it within a few weeks and they will be friends for real. Friends doesn't mean that the play is always going to be equal though -- the smaller or less enthused cat might still squeal or hiss once in a while and run away in the middle, and that is ok. Thats presumably going to be the younger cat. As long as they act like friends otherwise, your good. In these situations, the bigger overactive cat *is* making the small cat uncomfortable sometimes, but its on the order of a head noogie or indian sunburn, and if the smaller cat is able to look past that an be friends, then that is your signal that everything is ok and the smaller cat is still getting a benefit.

You can't teach him to play more gently. Some might recommend a feliway defuser, cat music or other things and thats ok, but what you mostly have is a still very active and enthused two year old and an 8 month old that isn't sure yet. Its a normal problem and will work itself out in the normal course.

I'm not a big fan of separations at night, because in the morning the over active cat is just so eager that the other cat learns to dread seeing the bigger cat. Whereas if you let them spend the night, at some point they will both chill out and the smaller cat will get to hang with chill big cat. So I recommend limiting separations to a little bit of closed door love to get reassurance or a small break.
 

rubysmama

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Hello and welcome to TCS. It sounds like things are going well, for only 2 weeks of them being together.

With cat introductions, generally we say as long as there's no blood, fur flying, or one cat seeming really scared of the other, then things are likely fine. Some hissing/growling/swatting is normal.

The only concerning thing is him bothering her when she's in the litter box, so like A ArtNJ , I would suggest putting out at least one more litter box, so that he can't be always watching all of them. The "rule" for litter boxes is 1 per cat, plus one, btw. Though that isn't always necessary. However, aggravation at the litter box could cause eventual litter box avoidance issues, which you definitely don't want.

I don't think you're at the point of having separate / re-introduce them, but TCS has this article, in case you want to read it.
How To Fix An Unsuccessful Cat Introduction – TheCatSite Articles
 
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Ellis75

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Thank you both for the advice! We have two litter boxes but not sure if I have room for another, since I'm in a small apartment. She doesn't seem litter box avoidant at all, and he doesn't do it every time she's in the litter box, so that's good at least.

The slightly weird thing is, she is much more outgoing and playful with my boyfriend and me, while he only plays with us if he's in the right mood, but she doesn't seem as playful with him. I'm not sure if it's her being more of a people cat or if his play is actually aggression that she doesn't want to be a part of, if that makes sense. Also, any time I try to play with him while she's nearby, she runs over and takes over the game. He's more of a watch and stalk cat, while she just jumps at the toy right away. Sometimes when that happens, he'll turn his energy on her and pounce on and bite her, which ends in her hissing and running away. But he also does it when there isn't a toy involved and will stalk, chase, and jump on her. She hisses and runs away; she never really seems to be the instigator, so I'm nervous it's bullying more than playing. I guess a good sign though is that she never really gets super avoidant of him and will often run right back to the cat tree, a couple feet away from him.

Still, though, while there hasn't been any blood or anything, their dynamic during those high energy moments has me worried. This evening was worse than it has been; he kept going after her again many times until we put her in a different room.

We tried having them together last night, but it seemed like he was getting territorial of the bedroom; he woke us up yowling because she was in his carrier (one of his safe spots), and later he was on the bed hissing down at her when she tried to get on the bed. They've been relaxed on the bed together before, so I'm not sure if he was being territorial of me or was just weirded out that she was there at night.

Sorry for the long reply! I'm just a very worried mama and want to make sure I'm doing right by both of them. Any thoughts on any of this would be much appreciated.
 
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Ellis75

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I forgot to mention also that little one was always much more eager and easygoing about meeting big one, probably because she's been around so many cats so recently (she was housed with other cats at the shelter and before that was from a hoarding situation), while he has been more wary of her and wanting some personal space, since he hasn't been around another cat since I adopted him. That's one of the main things that makes me worried it's bullying more than playing; I would accept it more as playing if he were the outgoing one, but I'm just not so sure anymore.
 

ArtNJ

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Ellis75 Ellis75 - I'm still confident its playing, but its hard to be completely reassuring when we aren't seeing what you are seeing. So why don't we fix that? Post a video on youtube or wherever and share the link with us. That will enable us to give you our guidance with more confidence and hopefully help you relax.
 
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