Resident cat less affectionate since bringing home new kitten

[MamaCam]

Hi everyone! I have two wonderful furry friends, Martini and Paloma. Martini is my first cat, he's very outgoing, loves running between your legs and rubbing up against me, and snuggling right up on my face each morning, and is around 2.5 to 3 years old. I brought home a little sister, Paloma, for him last Friday night (6 days ago) because he is such a love. She's around 4.5 months and is plenty playful but also very gentle. She's outgoing and is a purring machine. I separated them for a few days, during which Martini hissed at the door a few times. After switching environments, swapping toys, shared meals, etc. I introduced them and they been playing ever since! There has been no hissing or growling or anything and they both seem comfortable around each other so it's hard to tell who has established themselves as the "Alpha," but maybe it's Paloma because she's a bit more rambunctious? Anyways, the important part: Ever since I brought Paloma home, Martini has been distant from me. He's not nearly as affectionate, not doing morning snuggles and just generally seems to have a bit of an attitude with me. He's still sleeping with us at night, but I can just tell something is different and it's really breaking my heart to think he's upset.
Sorry about the rambling, does anyone have any advice? I know it's only been six day but it feels like it's been a long time.

Thanks in advance! I've attached some pictures of my little loves!

 

[Furballsmom]

Hi! Welcome!!
They're gorgeous
He's not upset, he has his world temporarily filled with the new cat

The only thing you might consider changing, is to try and adjust your expectations, realize how incredible it is that they had such a seamless and painless introduction, and accept that how he is today might not be how he is tomorrow regarding you.

 

[MamaCam]

Hi! Welcome!!
They're gorgeous
He's not upset, he has his world temporarily filled with the new cat

The only thing you might consider changing, is to try and adjust your expectations, realize how incredible it is that they had such a seamless and painless introduction, and accept that how he is today might not be how he is tomorrow regarding you.

Hi Furballsmom! Thank you so much for replying! That makes me feel better. I guess my question is, do you think his affectionate side might reveal itself again once he feels more settled with the new baby? I miss my snuggles and I’m wondering if more one on one time with him is needed to make sure he’s doesn’t feel replaced!

thanks again

 

[MamaCam]

Oh I just realize you wrote a second paragraph! Sorry about that — and you’re right I should relax and adjust my expectations. Thanks again!

 

[Furballsmom]

do you think his affectionate side might reveal itself again once he feels more settled with the new baby?

There's no way to know for certain, but see how he seems in a few days let us know how things go.

 

[ArtNJ]

Cats don't really have an "alpha" the way say a pack of wolves does, but I'm really smiling at you thinking your kitten might be an alpha because I've had a ninja kitten too! Its totally awesome and so much fun to watch when a high energy kitten uses raw energy and enthusiasm to keep up with a bigger cat in play. My daughter was a high school wrestler, so we used to laugh at the kitten's fancy moves! Ninja kittens can only be ninja kittens because their adult buddies aren't too rough -- some of the adults overdo it sometimes and make the kittens squeal and run away, but this is more a problem with the very young adults. Anyway, you don't have that problem and its going great!

Totally agree that your cats are just very distracted now and if you are patient, you'll start seeing some affection again soon. Its useful to remember not to be grabby and force it -- patience is the key.

 

[MamaCam]

Cats don't really have an "alpha" the way say a pack of wolves does, but I'm really smiling at you thinking your kitten might be an alpha because I've had a ninja kitten too! Its totally awesome and so much fun to watch when a high energy kitten uses raw energy and enthusiasm to keep up with a bigger cat in play. My daughter was a high school wrestler, so we used to laugh at the kitten's fancy moves! Ninja kittens can only be ninja kittens because their adult buddies aren't too rough -- some of the adults overdo it sometimes and make the kittens squeal and run away, but this is more a problem with the very young adults. Anyway, you don't have that problem and its going great!

Totally agree that your cats are just very distracted now and if you are patient, you'll start seeing some affection again soon. Its useful to remember not to be grabby and force it -- patience is the key.

Hi ArtNJ! This message made me breathe a sigh of relief. Thank you for your comforting words! Today, I've seen more affection from my guy than I have in a week, so you're all right that I just need to be patient.

Thanks so much for the messages -- it really means a lot!

Stay Well,
MamaCam

 

[Furballsmom]

Today, I've seen more affection from my guy than I have in a week, so you're all right that I just need to be patient.

I'm so glad to hear this! He's a cat, so although they can be typical sometimes, other times not so much. In your case, I admittedly was holding my breath a little bit

 

[flybear]

just give it time ... this always happens here when we have a new foster ... it takes cats a. few weeks and sometimes months to figure out who is who ... and what their social order will be ... kittens never get to snuggle with me for at least a month because ... I have two resident adults who always seem a bit jealous as first until ... they realize the newcomers are no threat ... - any new addition changes the dynamics - everyone is a bit insecure even if they love each other at first sight ... you are doing great ... the cats get along ... which is HUGE and wonderful ... they will go back to snuggle with you after a while

 

[MamaCam]

just give it time ... this always happens here when we have a new foster ... it takes cats a. few weeks and sometimes months to figure out who is who ... and what their social order will be ... kittens never get to snuggle with me for at least a month because ... I have two resident adults who always seem a bit jealous as first until ... they realize the newcomers are no threat ... - any new addition changes the dynamics - everyone is a bit insecure even if they love each other at first sight ... you are doing great ... the cats get along ... which is HUGE and wonderful ... they will go back to snuggle with you after a while

Flybear,

Thanks so much for your comments! Everyone seems to be doing much better! My guy is already giving me lots of loving today, I'm so happy everyone is getting along <3 Thanks again!!

 

[japam]

Cats don't really have an "alpha" the way say a pack of wolves does, but I'm really smiling at you thinking your kitten might be an alpha because I've had a ninja kitten too! Its totally awesome and so much fun to watch when a high energy kitten uses raw energy and enthusiasm to keep up with a bigger cat in play. My daughter was a high school wrestler, so we used to laugh at the kitten's fancy moves! Ninja kittens can only be ninja kittens because their adult buddies aren't too rough -- some of the adults overdo it sometimes and make the kittens squeal and run away, but this is more a problem with the very young adults. Anyway, you don't have that problem and its going great!

Totally agree that your cats are just very distracted now and if you are patient, you'll start seeing some affection again soon. Its useful to remember not to be grabby and force it -- patience is the key.

you couldn't be more wrong, iabout alpha, have witnessed it, and i am currently witnessing it now.
two felines in a stray colony, feline 1 gave birth to three kittens, after 3 months stopped breast feeding, watched her teach the kitten the ropes, kittens now disown her on month four.

The kittens look up to feline 2, follow her everywhere, and are starting to exhibit similar agressive traits.Feline 2 is a hot head, and will throw a fit if it doesn't get its way.The whole thing about middening is about dominance,although many argue, its about reassurance, due to an unforseen stress induced event.

 

[ArtNJ]

you couldn't be more wrong, iabout alpha, have witnessed it, and i am currently witnessing it now.

Differences of opinion are fine, but when you contradict someone with absolute confidence and say they "couldn't be more wrong" you ought to have more ammunition than a few personal observations. I refer you to this excellent article:

Do You Have an Alpha Cat? • Feline Engineering

But I'm not sure why we are having this discussion here, doesn't seem to have much to do with the thread...