Resident cat hostile to me after new kitten

[Kellynorrrris]

Help! My previously loving, affectionate, clingy, perfect cat is acting hostile to me after bringing a new kitten home. He has never, ever, done anything even close to unfriendly, yet now he is hissing and growling at me when I try to pet him. We are doing everything with the slow introduction and he has his own space. Help...will my cat love me again?!

 

[susanm9006]

Yes, your cat will get over it and back to his normal relationship with you. Right now you probably smell of kitten and he is generally feeling unhappy. It is pretty normal behavior. Ignore the hissing, offer him treats or play as you usually do and let his hissy behavior run it’s course. You can also try catnip or Feliway to help mellow him out.

 

[ArtNJ]

If he is *really* stressed, he might even scratch you. Its nothing personal. Its just that when they are really stressed, cats lose the ability to tell friend from foe. Its called redirected aggression, and the lesson for us is that we can't cuddle their stress away -- if they are really stressed, they have to work it out on their own.

Tell us more about the timing of your introduction process and exactly how the cats are reacting to the process if you like. Even if we don't have tips, we can certainly put your mind at ease that its going ok. These things take time.

 

[Kellynorrrris]

If he is *really* stressed, he might even scratch you. Its nothing personal. Its just that when they are really stressed, cats lose the ability to tell friend from foe. Its called redirected aggression, and the lesson for us is that we can't cuddle their stress away -- if they are really stressed, they have to work it out on their own.

Tell us more about the timing of your introduction process and exactly how the cats are reacting to the process if you like. Even if we don't have tips, we can certainly put your mind at ease that its going ok. These things take time.

If he is *really* stressed, he might even scratch you. Its nothing personal. Its just that when they are really stressed, cats lose the ability to tell friend from foe. Its called redirected aggression, and the lesson for us is that we can't cuddle their stress away -- if they are really stressed, they have to work it out on their own.

Tell us more about the timing of your introduction process and exactly how the cats are reacting to the process if you like. Even if we don't have tips, we can certainly put your mind at ease that its going ok. These things take time.

I’m almost certainly expecting too much too soon. I only brought new kitty home 2 days ago. I guess I just never envisioned Pimento reacting, especially toward me, this way. I’ve never had more than one cat so this is new to me, forgive me if I sound naive!

When I first got new kitty home, I set his carrier down for a few minutes and let Pimento sniff. It went well for the most part, but once Pimento hissed for the first time I put new kitty in his room. I have the new kitty in a bedroom with all his things. I had the door closed initially but both cats were clawing at it, curious about the other side, so I put a gate up. They are both doing fine with that. I feed them on opposite sides of the gate at the same time and neither seem to mind. The new kitty is really just enjoying his life in his room and seems very content to hang out in there. He has not acted scared nor aggressive when he sees or has gotten near Pimento. He seems somewhat submissive. Pimento will cautiously approach the gate occasionally but stays away for the most part. A few times when he sees the other kitty he’ll hiss and move on. I held the new kitty near Pimento two times to let him sniff. Pimento curiously sniffed until the new kitty made a small movement and it startled Pimento, who then hissed. So I separated them, and probably won’t try that again for a few days because I think I rushed this step.
Now for Pimento’s feelings toward me... we have a really strong bond, he is a total Velcro cat who follows, cuddles, sleeps, plays, and talks with me constantly. He is so clingy he gets anxious when I leave for longer periods of time. This is actually the primary reason for getting a second cat. I’ve read that Velcro cats often need a companion to help soothe them. Anyway, to have Pimento hiss at me is completely surprising, not to mention heartbreaking. He’s never done anything remotely unfriendly toward me or anyone. He won’t let me pet him and if I get near him he moves away. He grumbles and growls at me. I’m trying to give him space now and let me come to me if he wants. Thank you for all the advice, by the way.

 

[ArtNJ]

Redirected aggression is a weird thing, its normal to be shocked by it. It seems like it would be unhelpful from an evolutionary perspective to lash out at fellow cats in your colony because a predator is nearby, so I think this must be an inbreeding flaw that happened as cats were being domesticated. In any event, it is super common. Some cats see another cat through a window and they attack their bff cat or their beloved human. It can happen because a dish drops. Really, anything scares or stresses cat, and they can blame a person or cat that is nearby. So we have to learn to resist the urge to comfort a stressed cat. So all this tells us in your case is that 2 days in, your resident cat is stressed. Normal!!!

As far as inbreeding flaws go, this isn't too bad. Better this than the bad hips that many dogs have.

 

[Kellynorrrris]

Redirected aggression is a weird thing, its normal to be shocked by it. It seems like it would be unhelpful from an evolutionary perspective to lash out at fellow cats in your colony because a predator is nearby, so I think this must be an inbreeding flaw that happened as cats were being domesticated. In any event, it is super common. Some cats see another cat through a window and they attack their bff cat or their beloved human. It can happen because a dish drops. Really, anything scares or stresses cat, and they can blame a person or cat that is nearby. So we have to learn to resist the urge to comfort a stressed cat. So all this tells us in your case is that 2 days in, your resident cat is stressed. Normal!!!

As far as inbreeding flaws go, this isn't too bad. Better this than the bad hips that many dogs have.

If he is stressed and I should not try to comfort him, what should I do? Just provide him with his basics and his routine until things settle down? Also, even though his aggression is normal, do you think he’ll come back around to me?

 

[ArtNJ]

The idea of the intro process is to get the stress out by having time go by and the kitties realize nothing bad is happening from the scent or sight of the new kitty. It just takes time and familiarity. Two days is nothing. You should be thinking one to three weeks for the process. You kind of went to separated by a gate pretty quickly. It went ok, you don't have to go backwards, but some stress is normal.

Of course, an intro process doesn't always solve things, especially if one of the cats is older. You'll have to wait and see how it goes. Sometimes stress can linger after the intro process is done, so I don't want to promise everything will be totally normal right after.

Even if there is some general stress, you'll learn to recognize when your cat is/isnt feeling it. At the very least, you should be able to pet your resident when in a room with a closed door with the other cat nowhere in sight.