Rescuers remorse

[Maria 93]

Hi all

6 weeks ago we adopted a 6 month old rescue kitten. She’s absolutely beautiful, jet black with the biggest eyes I’ve ever seen. She has the most beautiful temperament, purs literally all the time, you could hear it from a mile off, she’s so snuggly, follows us around like a dog, was instantly house trained - a little lady, slept at the end of our bed every night not stirring until we woke up, went outside but only patrolled our acre plot perimeter. She’s just good as gold we couldn’t fault her.

My only concern was that she would be lonely should we ever have to leave for a certain period of time (4+ hours shall we say). The rescue center knew this and 3 days ago I got a text saying they had a 12 week old kitten for us. 12 hours later we had him in our home.

he’s again a gorgeous little cat. A tabby with a white tummy and pink nose. Needs a little more training but he’s only a baby so completely understandable. But he’s friendly and playful very similar to our OG cat.
But our cat hasn’t taken kindly to the kitten at all. We’ve separated them keeping the kitten in a designated room but my lovely cat’s temperament has flipped on its head. She’s hissing and spitting at us and aside from food doesn’t seem to want to be around us anymore.

I feel I’ve ruined a great bond by bringing the kitten into the home and as such I don’t feel I’ve bonded properly with the kitten - not in the same way I did with our cat.

i honestly feel lost. I’m crying all the time, I’ve a constant head ache, I’m just exhausted I feel like I’m grieving.

I so want to give the little kitten a home. He’s been through a lot and I feel we could be great for him. But my OG cat is my immediate priority. I feel so guilty for wishing I could turn back time and say no to the second adoption.

Has anyone else experienced anything similar? I’m feeling so lost.

 

[Jcatbird]

Yes! Others, including me, have had similar experiences.
Let’s back up a little though. Introductions to a new kitty need to be done gradually. You can start over. Put the new kitten in a separate area and start with scent swapping. Let each kitty sleep on something and then swap it out. Allow your resident cat to set the pace. A hairbrush used on both cats can intermingle their scents. Smell is a very important thing to a cat. Letting some new kitty into the resident kitties territory just hasn’t been okayed by OG yet. I was put into a position where I had to blend a great many kitties over a couple of years as they were rescued, vetted and then adopted out. I already had resident kitties and I know they wondered at first what was going on here. I learned that there is a process to go through in order to make the proper “cat approved” introductions. Don’t despair! This can be addressed and , especially since the new one is a kitten, your resident can teach the kitten the rules of the house when things settle down. In fact, a kitten can bring new excitement and play into the family for all.
I brought a huge number of cats and kittens through here and everyone adapted. Every cat is different so, don’t rush them. Can you keep them apart for awhile? Put kitten into another area of the house? Even if you have to swap them around, it’s important to start again. Hang in there! Update us as you have questions and things progress. This is not unusual at all and you are not alone.

 

[Jcatbird]

I thought this might help. Please click on the link and read. How To Successfully Introduce Cats: The Ultimate Guide

 

[Maria 93]

Yes! Others, including me, have had similar experiences.
Let’s back up a little though. Introductions to a new kitty need to be done gradually. You can start over. Put the new kitten in a separate area and start with scent swapping. Let each kitty sleep on something and then swap it out. Allow your resident cat to set the pace. A hairbrush used on both cats can intermingle their scents. Smell is a very important thing to a cat. Letting some new kitty into the resident kitties territory just hasn’t been okayed by OG yet. I was put into a position where I had to blend a great many kitties over a couple of years as they were rescued, vetted and then adopted out. I already had resident kitties and I know they wondered at first what was going on here. I learned that there is a process to go through in order to make the proper “cat approved” introductions. Don’t despair! This can be addressed and , especially since the new one is a kitten, your resident can teach the kitten the rules of the house when things settle down. In fact, a kitten can bring new excitement and play into the family for all.
I brought a huge number of cats and kittens through here and everyone adapted. Every cat is different so, don’t rush them. Can you keep them apart for awhile? Put kitten into another area of the house? Even if you have to swap them around, it’s important to start again. Hang in there! Update us as you have questions and things progress. This is not unusual at all and you are not alone.

Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. Think I was letting my anxiety get the better of me. I have kitten in a desperate room and our cat has calmed down a little. I’ll keep you posted

 

[Krienze]

Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. Think I was letting my anxiety get the better of me. I have kitten in a desperate room and our cat has calmed down a little. I’ll keep you posted

Don't forget, it's a big change for your cat! She might be grumbly for a bit.

When we brought Mia home, she didn't want to hear about any of the other animals. She swatted at Jasper and our dogs whenever they got near and would hiss from rooms away at Isabel & Sammy. She even smacked one of our dogs on his booty as he walked by! She was MEAN! I honestly get the anxiety, because I felt it too. It was this deep rooted feeling in my gut and I kept wishing maybe I never found out about her and regretted adopting her because I felt like it would never change even though I was trying so hard and then because I didn't quit... we GOT there. She no longer hisses. She sleeps with the dogs. She still has moments where she gets a little grouchy with food but we're working on it. Just focus on reintroducing and don't give up. It took us a few months to get where we are, sometimes it's a slow go but I think most cats learn to at least tolerate each other.

By the way, once when we went away for a week then came back, Isabel would hiss and swat at us. This lasted for a week or so and I thought she and I had a ruined relationship too but she eventually got over being mad! Cats go through emotions and stuff too. <3


Good luck! keep us updated please! Crossing my fingers for you

 

[ArtNJ]

Three days is .... three days!

I have a minor issue with Jcatbird linking the introduction guide. Its a great guide, and he is a very experienced knowledgeable person that has helped a ton of people. The guide is absolutely vital when introducing older cats. However, CATS THIS YOUNG ALWAYS BECOME FRIENDS NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO. Yes, its true. You have screwed up nothing. CATS THIS YOUNG ALWAYS BECOME FRIENDS NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO.

It can take up to a week or so. Some grumbling and unhappiness or fear from one kitten is normal. IT CAN TAKE A WEEK, BUT CATS THIS YOUNG ALWAYS BECOME FRIENDS NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO.

And now lets circle back to the three days and put it all together...

THREE DAYS IS NOTHING! CATS THIS YOUNG ALWAYS BECOME FRIENDS, BUT IT CAN TAKE UP TO A WEEK! YOU HAVE MESSED UP NOTHING, ALL WILL BE WELL!

Please forgive the bold all caps. I'm not fully awake yet. Of course, if my ridiculous formatting helps you feel better? Then its because I'm a genius.

P.S. When they start playing, AND THEY WILL, you might be scared by how rough it is if you haven't had two playful cats before. Many of our forum folks get scared, its normal. Stop back here and we should be able to reassure you -- cats are predators, they play roughly, and the size difference is going to make it look scary. But they won't hurt each other, and its fine if the little one squeals once in a while and is always the one to seek to disengage, The fact that the little one will come right back and not hold a grudge will tell you all is well.

P.P.S. Now it is true that in the short or or even medium term, they may be so preoccupied with each other, that you may not get as much cuddle time as you did for a while. Sorry! But this is not a permanent thing, and they will have sooo much fun playing that you will have joy just watching them. Its going to be good and you will get your cuddles. Promise

 

[pearl99]

Great advice above. You basically have 2 kittens. You are having the normal reaction of a resident cat to a new cat. This is what cats do.
I will echo the above that 2 young kittens will be fine after a period of time.
My experience in bringing a kitten home is that it took Waffles a while to adjust to Mooshoo. I kept them separate for a couple weeks or so (because Waffles was an adult- kittens usually go faster) but Mooshoo kept trying to be friends with him and now they are buddies. Their play is so much fun. And they will "play fight" to keep their skills up, it's instinct for them.
So read the guide, and go by how they are adjusting to each other.
Ask more question! Give us updates if you like!

 

[Jcatbird]

I’m glad that things have calmed a bit. Starting fresh can give you a break to settle your anxiety and your resident kitty will pick up on that which should help a little too. Focusing on letting them get to know each other and establish a friendship takes time and each cat goes at their own pace. I understand why A ArtNJ ,( another person with lots of good kitty experience)feels you can just push past the advice in the article. Kittens are much, much less difficult to blend than adult or senior cats. I just want you to have a break, calm things and move forward in a way that is easier on you. I have no doubt that the kitties will , not only learn to live together but be playing together. I have also had kitten battles but they learned to love each other and became like siblings in time. Even kittens from the same litter will have little battles. I hope things continue to improve.

 

[Sylvia Jones]

I sooo agree! You will be so glad they have each other. Would love to see pictures of each one

 

[fionasmom]

This will work out. I have had this happen with every single cat I have brought into the house; some were under emergency circumstances and there was no option, aside from death, for them. I completely agree that it is only a few days and that they will become friends.

It can be harder, initially, to get two cats to accept each other than to get a dog and cat to accept each other.

 

[cataholic07]

Cats always require slow introductions to other kitties, especially if the first cat has been an only cat since younger then 12 weeks old. You just have to be very patient, go each cat's pace, and ensure only good things happen when they smell each other. So feeding behind the door, playing by the door and site swapping so the scent becomes more normal to each other. Check out Jackson galaxy and Pam johnson bennet on tips on cat intros Don't stress it will happen, it just will take weeks, and I probably would still have them separated for a month or so if you are not home just to ensure nothing happens that can cause set backs.