Rescued 8 Year Old Declawed Gentleman and he is Still Hiding

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SandyCHA

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Just to update you all as you have all been so very helpful - after 10 weeks he is still not coming near me for attention. However, he is now coming out during the day for very short periods. I have to wonder why he insists on taking his paw and dragging his hard food out of the dish! That is new. He has not been doing this until two days ago and I can't figure it out. He also is still trying to bury his food, scratching on the floor next to the dishes. Why do they do that? Most times he still stays under the bed, and I still go up several times a day to give him treats and pet him. Waiting for that day he comes to ME for that attention.
 

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Just to update you all as you have all been so very helpful - after 10 weeks he is still not coming near me for attention. However, he is now coming out during the day for very short periods. I have to wonder why he insists on taking his paw and dragging his hard food out of the dish! That is new. He has not been doing this until two days ago and I can't figure it out. He also is still trying to bury his food, scratching on the floor next to the dishes. Why do they do that? Most times he still stays under the bed, and I still go up several times a day to give him treats and pet him. Waiting for that day he comes to ME for that attention.
Cats try to bury food left in the dish when they don't want to eat it immediately. Perhaps he's just not hungry.
I'm sure this is all rather frustrating for you but you'll get there. Good luck!
 

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The dragging out food from his dish is just another step in his efforts to 'bury and save for later' his food. He has figured out that just scratching on the floor next to the dishes wasn't exactly burying it. What is the set up now for his food? Just curious if you made another change that might be provoking his new behavior. You can always get a large tray and place it underneath this food dishes, just to 'collect' the stuff he drags out.

The fact that he is willingly coming out 'in the open' more is a good thing! And, you are doing right by not making an outwardly big deal over it (even if you might be smiling and clapping your hands inside your head)!

I still get the sense that you are still feeling a fair amount of frustration (I can understand why!). Human emotions are sensed by animals - not that they understand the causes, just that they know something 'in the air' is uncomfortable. Just try, everyday, to forgive him for everything he doesn't do that you want him to do, as well as everything he does that you don't want him to do!

How much time and how many times do you go into 'his' safe zone in a day? Do you just go in there to feed treats or pet him, or do you go in other times just 'to be there'?

You are doing a great job! And, please continue to keep us posted! :hangin:
 

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Btw, I thought I would mention another member who is dealing with similar problems. Certainly not the same, but oddly enough the time line is very close. Not that you can help each other, but you never know... If nothing else you know there is at least one other TCS member who is kind of stretched beyond their wits. Bless both you and J Jerseymeow !!
Mimi was in the shelter a really long time | TheCatSite
 

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Btw, I thought I would mention another member who is dealing with similar problems. Certainly not the same, but oddly enough the time line is very close. Not that you can help each other, but you never know... If nothing else you know there is at least one other TCS member who is kind of stretched beyond their wits. Bless both you and J Jerseymeow !!
Mimi was in the shelter a really long time | TheCatSite
Thank you FeebysOwner! I am learning that all cats are different. Ha. And, I seem to be making better progress with Mimi by not touching her. I can get close and just sit with her. That seems to be working. I am realizing that the only person who touched her before was probably the vet tech every 6 months. The shelter told me she did not have human interaction because she would hide.
 

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Just to update you all as you have all been so very helpful - after 10 weeks he is still not coming near me for attention. However, he is now coming out during the day for very short periods. I have to wonder why he insists on taking his paw and dragging his hard food out of the dish! That is new. He has not been doing this until two days ago and I can't figure it out. He also is still trying to bury his food, scratching on the floor next to the dishes. Why do they do that? Most times he still stays under the bed, and I still go up several times a day to give him treats and pet him. Waiting for that day he comes to ME for that attention.
My Waffles sometimes does the dragging-the-kibble-out-of-the-dish also! I see no pattern, it's off and on :headscratch:.
And one of my cats buries her food when I set in a towel- it's a genetic instinct from the wild still in some domestic cats from living wild. Either to protect food to come back later or keep the scent from predators.
He's made great progress since the last time I checked in! He will get there. Yes please give updates! We love them!
 

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We are at 9 weeks with 5 year old Mimi. She either hides from me in her spot, or she watches me from the cat tree. I do not try to touch her because if I do she gets upset. Haven't touched her in weeks. But I do get close to her and talk to her.
 

FeebysOwner

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We are at 9 weeks with 5 year old Mimi. She either hides from me in her spot, or she watches me from the cat tree. I do not try to touch her because if I do she gets upset. Haven't touched her in weeks. But I do get close to her and talk to her.
I expect to hear similar slow progress from S SandyCHA as well! But, even s-l-o-w progress is better than nothing!!
 
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SandyCHA

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WE are at what almost 11 weeks now. He comes out now and sits about 8 feet from me in the foyer and just watches me! It is so funny. He looks like he wants to come in here so bad, but just can't! I have moved his food - there is nothing upstairs at all now near his hiding spot under the bed. I have decided that he has been here long enough, he knows where I have put his food and water (now downstairs and in the entrance to the kitchen) and he does come down to eat it now. He is even beginning to come out in the daylight to eat. But still will not approach me at all. I still go up to his hiding spot several times a day and I talk to him. I don't take treats every time, only once a day. Instead I lay on the floor and look at him under the bed. He comes quite close to the edge and lets me pet him and scratch his ears. He seems to love it as he moves his head into my hand when I rub him. Then he retreats and goes back under the bed. I like to do this as I think ( could be wrong) that the more I pet him the more he will get used to being touched. I know at one point (for 8 years) he had a home and was inside. Now I don't have any idea how he was treated in that home, who knows. Some people have cats and totally ignore them! Maybe that was the case. So in time I am still hoping he will come to me for more attention. He has stopped crying at night. Has not done that in a few weeks now, so he isn't looking for anyone! Staying positive here!
 

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WE are at what almost 11 weeks now. He comes out now and sits about 8 feet from me in the foyer and just watches me! It is so funny. He looks like he wants to come in here so bad, but just can't! I have moved his food - there is nothing upstairs at all now near his hiding spot under the bed. I have decided that he has been here long enough, he knows where I have put his food and water (now downstairs and in the entrance to the kitchen) and he does come down to eat it now. He is even beginning to come out in the daylight to eat. But still will not approach me at all. I still go up to his hiding spot several times a day and I talk to him. I don't take treats every time, only once a day. Instead I lay on the floor and look at him under the bed. He comes quite close to the edge and lets me pet him and scratch his ears. He seems to love it as he moves his head into my hand when I rub him. Then he retreats and goes back under the bed. I like to do this as I think ( could be wrong) that the more I pet him the more he will get used to being touched. I know at one point (for 8 years) he had a home and was inside. Now I don't have any idea how he was treated in that home, who knows. Some people have cats and totally ignore them! Maybe that was the case. So in time I am still hoping he will come to me for more attention. He has stopped crying at night. Has not done that in a few weeks now, so he isn't looking for anyone! Staying positive here!
Love this story!
 

pearl99

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S SandyCHA I think he will get used to it the more he gets petted also. He will certainly let you know when he's had enough! Good progress (and patience on your part!) :yess:
 

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WE are at what almost 11 weeks now. He comes out now and sits about 8 feet from me in the foyer and just watches me! It is so funny. He looks like he wants to come in here so bad, but just can't! I have moved his food - there is nothing upstairs at all now near his hiding spot under the bed. I have decided that he has been here long enough, he knows where I have put his food and water (now downstairs and in the entrance to the kitchen) and he does come down to eat it now. He is even beginning to come out in the daylight to eat. But still will not approach me at all. I still go up to his hiding spot several times a day and I talk to him. I don't take treats every time, only once a day. Instead I lay on the floor and look at him under the bed. He comes quite close to the edge and lets me pet him and scratch his ears. He seems to love it as he moves his head into my hand when I rub him. Then he retreats and goes back under the bed. I like to do this as I think ( could be wrong) that the more I pet him the more he will get used to being touched. I know at one point (for 8 years) he had a home and was inside. Now I don't have any idea how he was treated in that home, who knows. Some people have cats and totally ignore them! Maybe that was the case. So in time I am still hoping he will come to me for more attention. He has stopped crying at night. Has not done that in a few weeks now, so he isn't looking for anyone! Staying positive here!
At 11 weeks, I'm see this as a great progress and he has passed the test and so did you. Continue to do what you are doing and don't expect too much else you'll be disappointed at your expectations. Accept him as what he is and just hope that everyday would be better than the last.

Great job! :clap:
 

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Great progress for 11 weeks. I have a feral that showed up as a kitten with her mama 11 YEARS ago, mama stopped showing up winter before last but Little Phantom still comes every day and still runs down the stairs when I open the door to put food out. Some of the ferals will let me pet them while they are busy eating and some won't. I have no goals for my interactions with them, just want them fed and using the heated shelters I have around for a little comfort in their stressful lives.
 
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SandyCHA

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Just checking in to see how is our Mr Gentleman's doing?
Not as well as I would like for sure after almost three months. He is still hiding under the bed most of the time. He is coming out to eat and use his box. He will stay out a few minutes until I stand up and he runs! I am very frustrated that he still does not trust me enough to come near me!
 

tabbytom

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Not as well as I would like for sure after almost three months. He is still hiding under the bed most of the time. He is coming out to eat and use his box. He will stay out a few minutes until I stand up and he runs! I am very frustrated that he still does not trust me enough to come near me!
We understand that it is frustrating at times, but just don't give up. The thought of giving up makes it more frustrating. Your boy probably needs more time. Every cat is different. For example, I've always wondered why other people's cat are lap cats and mine is not. But my boy makes it up in other ways and I still love him as much for who he is.

The next time you get up, don't get up immediately as it may startle him and it may be the reason he runs away when you stand up. Try moving slowly and when getting up. If your are fitted , slowly move to a kneeling position while still playing with him and calling out his name. Then slowly progress to kneeling on one kiss while still playing with him and then move to the squatting position then stand up slowly while bending your back and still keep playing with him and then stand up.

You have to try different things to make him get use it. It takes time, yes time. We don't know his background and he may have many flashbacks and that's why he's behaving this way. My boy was a abused kitten when I found him. There are many things that still startle him. He jumps at the flick of a switch and afraid of many objects but all these while, I keep assuring him. It's been 5+ years now.

Just understand your cat a little but don't expect too much from him, just lime I don't expect too much from my boy. As long as he does not do the wrong things, I'll let him be who he is. As long as my boy feels safe and secure and happy as he is now and that is the most important thing.

Remember, love, patience, routine and don't give up.
 
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I understand your frustration. It could take many months, possibly he may never want to be cuddled. Sometimes we have to accept what they are capable of giving. I hope he will eventually be able to be the cat you hope he can be. One of the ferals living on my deck came inside this winter and will come up on the bed when I am lying down, sometimes I lie on the living room sofa to read and she will come up to be pet. But, whenever I enter a room she is in she runs like a bat out of hell from me! Very frightened of me when I am upright. Another feral I let in this winter just started eating in my presence but will not let me near her. I really don't care as I have other cats I can pick up and cuddle. I have 11 living inside and about the same living on the deck or around the house in the many shelters I have. She makes no attempt to go outside, it is still cold and we had little snow flurries the past 2 days so she likes the warmth and dry environment. When it warms up more I shall see if either of the 2 mentioned ferals want to go back outside, otherwise I do not let my cats out. Again, I hope he eventually will come around, you clearly love him, beautiful cat that he is. Best of luck. And thanks for the update.
 
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