Rescued 8 Year Old Declawed Gentleman and he is Still Hiding

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SandyCHA

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You will always get differences of opinion on how to handle this, so you need to go with the option you feel most comfortable with. But, even if his food/water and litter box are in the same room, he STILL has to come out from under the bed to use them. It just doesn't make him have to venture where he really isn't ready to go yet. So, he feels he is being forced to go places he doesn't yet find comfortable in order to eat and use the box. IMO, that is making him do things he isn't really all the comfortable with, and I would think that would extend the time it will take to gain his trust. When you are in the kitchen, he is not ready to come that close to you - away from safe zone - in order to eat. Forgoing eating to not have to get that close to you is a sign of discomfort. It is interesting that he plays with toys, though!

I am not at this point suggesting you lock him in that room by closing the door, I am suggesting that you put food/water and a litter box in there too, and just leave the door open. Maybe, you could even keep a food/water dish and litter box where they are at now, and have one of each in the bedroom too. That way, you might just find him using them all - when he is ready.

It is really up to you to decide which is better for the both of you. Not all cats will respond the same way to any one particular process. Some times, you have to experiment.
That is true that having his food and box in there he still has to come out from under the bed. Maybe I should try that for a bit and just leave he door open giving him the option. This is so confusing for me as I have never encountered a kitty like this one for sure! I have had cats my whole life, but none of them were rescued from outside and were always just part of my household! Thanks for you advice and I will try a few of your suggestions. Any progress at this point will help! Very frustrating for sure!
 
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SandyCHA

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You will always get differences of opinion on how to handle this, so you need to go with the option you feel most comfortable with. But, even if his food/water and litter box are in the same room, he STILL has to come out from under the bed to use them. It just doesn't make him have to venture where he really isn't ready to go yet. So, he feels he is being forced to go places he doesn't yet find comfortable in order to eat and use the box. IMO, that is making him do things he isn't really all the comfortable with, and I would think that would extend the time it will take to gain his trust. When you are in the kitchen, he is not ready to come that close to you - away from safe zone - in order to eat. Forgoing eating to not have to get that close to you is a sign of discomfort. It is interesting that he plays with toys, though!

I am not at this point suggesting you lock him in that room by closing the door, I am suggesting that you put food/water and a litter box in there too, and just leave the door open. Maybe, you could even keep a food/water dish and litter box where they are at now, and have one of each in the bedroom too. That way, you might just find him using them all - when he is ready.

It is really up to you to decide which is better for the both of you. Not all cats will respond the same way to any one particular process. Some times, you have to experiment.
One lady who rescues cats all the time has told me to pull his food completely at night which may force him to come out during the day to eat. Not sure if that would work.
 

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One lady who rescues cats all the time has told me to pull his food completely at night which may force him to come out during the day to eat. Not sure if that would work.
Again, not what I personally would do. I have never seen things go well when a cat is forced to go beyond their comfort zone. I tend to think what happens to many of those cats are that they never end up totally trusting their humans. Sure, they learn to adapt to their environment - primarily due to the need to survive - but probably aren't inclined to become real lovey-dovey cats.

The rescue lady is likely NOT keeping most/any of those cats, so who knows what their life-long caretakers had to deal with once they were adopted.
 
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SandyCHA

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Again, not what I personally would do. I have never seen things go well when a cat is forced to go beyond their comfort zone. I tend to think what happens to many of those cats are that they never end up totally trusting their humans. Sure, they learn to adapt to their environment - primarily due to the need to survive - but probably aren't inclined to become real lovey-dovey cats.

The rescue lady is likely NOT keeping most/any of those cats, so who knows what their life-long caretakers had to deal with once they were adopted.
I get it and agree as they usually do not keep these rescues. They have them vetted, he has had all his shots and tests and stuff so I know he is healthy. But I am not getting very far and my frustration level is beyond what it should be. I feel like I am doing everything wrong and he is not adapting at all. He is not afraid of me as I can reach under the bed and scratch his ears and his chin and he presses his head against my hand saying to me he likes it. But then he pulls away and wants no more of it. I know he lived outside for a month or so on his own, and I find out now he is totally declawed, all four, so he had no defense at all.
 

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Under normal circumstances with a cat who's being a bit shy, yeah maybe those things will work. But an older gent, fully de-clawed, dumped, who's already been under the bed for 4 weeks. . .I wouldn't try the normal stuff.

I agree with sitting next to the bed reading out loud. That way he gets used to the sound of your voice and he might come out and sit with you. And do reach under there and pet him as often as you can, so he might come out to get more petting.
 

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But I am not getting very far and my frustration level is beyond what it should be. I feel like I am doing everything wrong and he is not adapting at all. He is not afraid of me as I can reach under the bed and scratch his ears and his chin and he presses his head against my hand saying to me he likes it. But then he pulls away and wants no more of it. I know he lived outside for a month or so on his own, and I find out now he is totally declawed, all four, so he had no defense at all.
You just said it all right there! Don't let your frustration and disappointment let you lose sight of the fact that it's only been a month, and you are dealing with an 8 yo cat. There are cats that have been through less in their lives than he has that have taken a much longer time to adapt.

He is cautious, not afraid. But, I think he is actually doing quite well under the circumstances!
 
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SandyCHA

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Under normal circumstances with a cat who's being a bit shy, yeah maybe those things will work. But an older gent, fully de-clawed, dumped, who's already been under the bed for 4 weeks. . .I wouldn't try the normal stuff.

I agree with sitting next to the bed reading out loud. That way he gets used to the sound of your voice and he might come out and sit with you. And do reach under there and pet him as often as you can, so he might come out to get more petting.
You are right, these are not normal circumstances. This guy had a life at one time for 8 years and now he has nothing. He has been tossed from rescue to rescue and now to me. I am sure he does not know who to trust anymore. And the normal stuff has indeed not worked. I just don't want to give up on him. He deserves a good life after all he has been through. Just knowing he has a nice warm house and food and doesn't have to fend off predators makes me happy.
 

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He came out last night while I was still sitting in the kitchen and I can see him at the top of the stairs. I have a quad level so it's only like six stairs up. He comes down cautiously and goes down and uses his box. I can watch him. Then he comes back up and plays with a few toys in the living room, approaches the kitchen to eat,
My gracious sakes! This is incredibly fantastic that he's comfortable enough to play with toys!! Please please understand how huge this is.

He is not afraid of me as I can reach under the bed and scratch his ears and his chin and he presses his head against my hand saying to me he likes it. But then he pulls away and wants no more of it.
...and this is also huge for him!!
Don't take it personally that he pulls away. It's just him and his way of being which may or may not change over time. My Poppycat, who's been with only two families in all of his 15 years of life, is very clear about when he's had enough petting.

Just knowing he has a nice warm house and food and doesn't have to fend off predators makes me happy.
It should, absolutely.

I just don't want to give up on him.
By the way, why would you be in such a rush? Surely this isn't part of the equation especially since he actually IS coming out, exploring, playing and is just beginning to enjoy himself, build his comfort zones and expand his contentment.

I will try a few of your suggestions.
Also by the way, he IS able to eat and drink on his terms, whenever he wants to without having to venture out into areas that are still uncomfortable for him, right? Do follow FeebysOwner FeebysOwner 's advice regarding having food and water near to him so that he feels as relaxed as possible while eating and drinking.

I don't recall if I mentioned it already but you could try cat music - it can be surprisingly helpful to ease his stress. Classical harp music, Cat In My Arms on Spotify and elsewhere, MusicForCats and RelaxMyCat are all excellent and proven sources.
 
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SandyCHA

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Agree with what all the posters mentioned, you did the right thing for rescuing him from the shelter and adopting him and for giving him a fur-ever warm and loving home and a safe sanctuary to live out his life :clapcat:

Just give him time, and maybe a lot more time as he's fresh in your house and many things are going through his mind now as he is confused as why is he taken all over and still no true love received from all the people before. Give him time to settle down. He is still doing some orientation himself. Just make sure you give him all the attention and love and with lots of patience. Most importantly is never betray his trust in you. You are his only hope.

What you can do is leave some of your used clean, non perfumed clothings with him as this is to leave your scents with him. This way, once he's used to your scents, whenever you go visit him, he'll feel no threat. Also get a towel or two and place bar him so that he can lay on them and also to soak up his scent. Once his scents are on the towels, move one further out so that his scent is spread father out and when he cones out, there's familiar scents and that will boost his confidence.

Do it step by step and don't rush him. Let him come out and explore at his own timing and keep doing slow eye blinks with him and don't look directly into his eyes. If you want to look at him, close your eyes and just open a little just to see him and when he sees your eyes closed, he may copy what you did by blinking his eyes. This is the response from him that he's comfortable with you and there's trust already. And always speak softly and gently with him and keep loud noise away from him.

So don't give up and keep us posted.

btw, he's a handsome chap :hearthrob: :redheartpump:
?
Does anyone know why when he roams at night he is crying ? Not a lot, just a few cries here and there. It almost sounds like he is calling out to someone, but I have never heard a cat do this.
 

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Is this a more recent thing, or has he done it all along? Does he ever cry out like that when he 'roams' while you are awake? If the house is dark, you could try using some nightlights to see if that helps. It's not that he needs them to see, but sometimes it will help a cat feel a bit more secure.

I presume he is not looking for where you might be, since I got the impression that you are in the bed he hides underneath, so when he leaves that area he knows where you are. Is that correct?

If you do choose to add some food/water and a litterbox in his safe room, I'd be curious if he would still roam/cry at night.
 
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Is this a more recent thing, or has he done it all along? Does he ever cry out like that when he 'roams' while you are awake? If the house is dark, you could try using some nightlights to see if that helps. It's not that he needs them to see, but sometimes it will help a cat feel a bit more secure.

I presume he is not looking for where you might be, since I got the impression that you are in the bed he hides underneath, so when he leaves that area he knows where you are. Is that correct?

If you do choose to add some food/water and a litterbox in his safe room, I'd be curious if he would still roam/cry at night.
He has done this every so often for the over four weeks I have had him here. He only does it at night once I am in bed! He actually was sitting in the hallway outside my room last night when he was crying. I have nightlights in all the rooms. He does not do it at all until he roams at night! I heard him also about 6:00 a.m. this morning and it sounded like he was in the room where he hides under the bed. He only cries about three times and if I call his name he stops. He ventured out last night while I was still up and walked around the living room. But he does not cry when I am up and the house lights are on.
 

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He only cries about three times and if I call his name he stops. He ventured out last night while I was still up and walked around the living room. But he does not cry when I am up and the house lights are on.
I can only guess he is "looking" for you, given if you call his name he stops. He is just checking to make sure you are still around and haven't left him! It's darker than usual and more quiet when you are in bed, so I think he is just making sure you are still somewhere nearby.
 

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he IS able to eat and drink on his terms, whenever he wants to without having to venture out into areas that are still uncomfortable for him,
Is he able to eat and drink whenever he wants?

My Poppycat cried, yelled and hollered for about a month, only at night, after we first brought him to this house.
 
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Is he able to eat and drink whenever he wants?

My Poppycat cried, yelled and hollered for about a month, only at night, after we first brought him to this house.
His food and water is in the kitchen where it has been for a few weeks now. He knows where it is as he does come down every night to eat. I was letting him eat in the bedroom, but someone suggested that if I leave it there he will have no reason to come out and eat! It's so confusing either way!
 

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someone suggested that if I leave it there he will have no reason to come out
Of course he will have reasons to come out, and he IS coming out. He's already discovered his toys :)!

It would be better for his digestive system and also his hydration, if he has easy access to both around the clock. You're on his time and are working within his preferences, not anybody else's.
 
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Is he able to eat and drink whenever he wants?

My Poppycat cried, yelled and hollered for about a month, only at night, after we first brought him to this house.
I was told a few weeks ago by one rescuer that why should be come out from under the bed if I am giving him the life of Reilly and taking everything to him. She said I was only condoning his behavior of staying under the bed by not forcing him out. But so far as I said nothing seems to be working very well or maybe I am just being impatient. He will be here five weeks on Wednesday and has spent every single day under the bed!
 

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It would be better for his digestive system and also his hydration, if he has easy access to both around the clock. You're on his time and are working within his preferences, not anybody else's.
:yeah: S SandyCHA - Is there any particular reason you can't have food and water in both locations? One of the reasons for putting food nearby is to get them to eat - well, you have already accomplished that! Another reason is to get a cat to eat NEAR you. By having food accessible in his safe zone, eventually he will come out to eat it when you are in the room, assuming you spend enough time with him in that room. That isn't even an option if he has no food/water in his safe zone. Might be why he won't approach the kitchen to eat when you are in it at this point.

Yes, you are being impatient. Between your will to make him change and his will to change at his own pace - he will "win".

You have already made great strides with him, it is just going to take more time than you would like.
 
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Does anyone know why when he roams at night he is crying ? Not a lot, just a few cries here and there. It almost sounds like he is calling out to someone, but I have never heard a cat do this.
I think since he's coming out and moving around the house, some spots are new to him and he's curious. But is it crying or just meowing lime for attention and also maybe asking you to be with him so that he can explore the new place or he wants something.

I know when my boy was sometime lime to open the door, he'll meow to get my attention so that I can open the door for him or maybe he wants to get to sone place that he can't reach and want me to carry him to go see. So you have to differentiate what kind of calls is coming from him.

The other thing is if he calls, try talking to him in a loving tone and say 'Mummy's here, what is it you want? He could be engaging in a conversation with you and if he calls, attend to him and see what he wants and assure him if he looks weary.

A lot of possibilities mentioned by the other posters and so I guess he's still getting use to the house and surroundings. Get towels that are soaked with his scents and place it all around the house so that everywhere he goes, there is familiar scents of his and that will calm him down. Other than this, it's good just to investigate what he wants when he calls.
 

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I wouldn't want any cat of mine to be anywhere near that rescuer you're talking to. Compassion, understanding, patience, and working with a cat's personality instead of demanding for it to act in some way isn't that person's strong suit.

Under the bed is this cat's safe spot. Once again, I'll tell you that my Poppycat took a very long time before he was comfortable in his new surroundings.

Have you tried cat music?

Have you tried ignoring him, and while providing for his needs so he can remain healthy and hydrated, allow him to come to terms at his own pace with all of his new normals?

We've repeated ourselves several times in this thread. We aren't going to change what we say, because our advice is based in empathy and love for cats as well as a deep concern for their health.
 
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