Remembering Krista

FeebysOwner

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Partly though, there's this feeling of incompleteness.... If I could rewrite the ending...
That is just it - you can't. I have had 2 cats 'go' - one by euthanasia (FIP) and another dying in my home (cancer). It doesn't make a difference. They were both equally awful and devastating. In the end, there is no good 'end'. Sadly, it is just an (inevitable) end.
 

tarasgirl06

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That is just it - you can't. I have had 2 cats 'go' - one by euthanasia (FIP) and another dying in my home (cancer). It doesn't make a difference. They were both equally awful and devastating. In the end, there is no good 'end'. Sadly, it is just an (inevitable) end.
I have had these experiences as well, FeebysOwner FeebysOwner , and others; my heartfelt condolences to you for your losses. And you are absolutely right IMHO.
 

Twylasmom

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That is just it - you can't. I have had 2 cats 'go' - one by euthanasia (FIP) and another dying in my home (cancer). It doesn't make a difference. They were both equally awful and devastating. In the end, there is no good 'end'. Sadly, it is just an (inevitable) end.
Same here. One euthanized with multiple illnesses at 17 (and she did not go quietly, which was traumatic) and the other passing suddenly at home due to HCM. They went two days apart and both were awful and traumatic in their own way. That was almost three years ago, and it still upsets me when I look back. Taking in Twyla three months later was helpful and healing, but It definitely happened sooner than I planned. You will know your own timetable. I was able to do a trial period with Twyla and realized my life was better with her than without her.
 
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daftcat75

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Same here. One euthanized with multiple illnesses at 17 (and she did not go quietly, which was traumatic) and the other passing suddenly at home due to HCM. They went two days apart and both were awful and traumatic in their own way. That was almost three years ago, and it still upsets me when I look back. Taking in Twyla three months later was helpful and healing, but It definitely happened sooner than I planned. You will know your own timetable. I was able to do a trial period with Twyla and realized my life was better with her than without her.
At first, I was attracted to the thought of rewriting my last memories because I am the keeper of those memories. And who is going to fact check me? But I realize that’s just denial or bargaining. It’s not acceptance. As I said, the ifs and shoulds, the regrets, are starting to fade. The rest will just take time too.

I sort of have a trial going right now. I’m much happier being a cat grandpa right now spoiling a community stray. I’m definitely not ready to be a full-time caregiver so soon after Krista. It’s lonely without her. But I’m not in a rush to bring in a new cat.
 

lavishsqualor

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This is so precious! I’m so fortunate to have this video. This was our nightly routine for many months. 😻

Feeding Krista
I love that video! I've seen it before but it never ceases to amaze me how patient and trusting Krista is. She clearly wants her food but she knows you're going to give it to her as soon as it's ready. My cats, on the other hand, would NOT be stopped by my leg. They'd be over my leg and have their faces buried in that food, cold or not, before you could say Jack Rabbit!

Krista makes the same food trills that Emily, one of our office cats, does. I'm like you--there's nothing like a cat who trills.

I've said it before but it bears repeating: Krista was a beautiful cat and so very fortunate to have you. We all have ups and downs with our cats and we're all plagued with remembrances of things we shouldn't have done or could have done better. But when taken as a whole, you were a fantastic custodian and Krista clearly adored and trusted you. There are very few animals so fortunate.
 
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daftcat75

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This one Apple started for me before she passed. It was on my to-do list to learn how to edit these and finish this one before she passed.

I finished it a week or two ago deep in grief, pain, and tears. I posted it to IG. But didn’t post it to YouTube. And probably didn’t post it here. Because it’s always an extra transcoding step to post videos here. 🤷‍♂️😾


These are all from 2020. That’s why she’s so skinny. 😿 But still gorgeous! 😻
 

tarasgirl06

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This one Apple started for me before she passed. It was on my to-do list to learn how to edit these and finish this one before she passed.

I finished it a week or two ago deep in grief, pain, and tears. I posted it to IG. But didn’t post it to YouTube. And probably didn’t post it here. Because it’s always an extra transcoding step to post videos here. 🤷‍♂️😾


These are all from 2020. That’s why she’s so skinny. 😿 But still gorgeous! 😻
*Sweet purrs, Krista girl!* Beautiful video. Nice soundtrack, too.
 
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daftcat75

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It feels so strange to have to scroll to the second or third page of my alerts to find my Krista thread.

I finally completed my first pass through my camera roll to find Krista pics for her picture book. I only have 1425 to go through now for the next cut. 🤦‍♂️ 😻
 

KittyCatCove

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Just saw this thread and read the entire thing. I am very sorry for your loss. My girl Patches looks like a mirror image of Krista.

I had to euthanize my "Buddy" in October 2019 due to advanced CKD. I miss him terribly. I cannot look at pictures of him without breaking down... and I have 1000's of them.
 

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It feels so strange to have to scroll to the second or third page of my alerts to find my Krista thread.

I finally completed my first pass through my camera roll to find Krista pics for her picture book. I only have 1425 to go through now for the next cut. 🤦‍♂️ 😻
I still cant go through Snowball pics
But Im going to do it as soon as I feel comfortable
I want to make a special picture book
With some events that happened with some of them
:)
 

CatLover49

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Just saw this thread and read the entire thing. I am very sorry for your loss. My girl Patches looks like a mirror image of Krista.

I had to euthanize my "Buddy" in October 2019 due to advanced CKD. I miss him terribly. I cannot look at pictures of him without breaking down... and I have 1000's of them.
I know exactly how you feel..my Snowball had to be euthanized on July 8th/2020
I miss him so bad...I cant go through his pictures yet either
I hear it takes time to heal
But I did recently take down his ashes and his keepsake bag
And sat down in the extreme quite and talked to him...held his bag of ashes that I took out of the container
Opened the bag and touched and felt his ashes
Talked to him
This lasted about 30 minutes
Kissed his bag
It hurt sooo bad but I need to hold my baby Snowball:(:whitecat::catrub:

And im so very sorry about Buddy...May Buddy and Snowball play and run with Krista and all the kitties that have crossed the Rainbow Bridge
 

tarasgirl06

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My heartfelt condolences for your losses, K KittyCatCove and CatLover49 CatLover49 and hoping you believe and know that you will be reunited in due time.
daftcat75 daftcat75 Aren't we so glad we have those? IMHO our expensive little devices are worth it many times over "just" for their ability to help us document and preserve the most precious of memories of our loved ones for all time.
 

CatLover49

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My heartfelt condolences for your losses, K KittyCatCove and CatLover49 CatLover49 and hoping you believe and know that you will be reunited in due time.
daftcat75 daftcat75 Aren't we so glad we have those? IMHO our expensive little devices are worth it many times over "just" for their ability to help us document and preserve the most precious of memories of our loved ones for all time.
😥I know will be reunited
Its just not having him here now that hurts so bad
It was me and him for yrs and now hes gone
💔
 
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daftcat75

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K KittyCatCove and CatLover49 CatLover49

It was difficult at first to look at pictures and videos. It still is sometimes. With or without looking at them, I’m always a tender thought away from tears. Each reply on this thread looses a few.

For me, I spent so much time seeing her sick these past few years, it was important for me to see her happy and whole again. The best piece of advice I have read in the Bridge forums is, “don’t let her death mean more than her life.” When I find myself feeling crushed by the loss and missing her, I’ll look up to her urn and the photo tile and then try to recall her happy and healthy. Or I’ll look at her Instagram or YouTubes. Since she did have illness in her last few years, I had a heads up to prepare for the day when pictures and videos were all I’d have. I have thousands of pictures and videos from 2018 to the night before. But I have very few pictures before 2018. I wish I had more videos of her before her illness. But I do have lots of wonderful pictures and videos from those precious senior years of hers that bonded us closer than we ever were. If she had never been ill, I may never have stepped up for her like I did and we would have far fewer precious memories. And the other wonderful piece of advice I’ve received is, “the pain of the loss is proportional to the love shared. It wouldn’t hurt so much if you didn’t love so deeply and be loved so fully in return.” And so when I am feeling devastated by the loss, looking at her pictures and videos helps me remember and feel that love.

The pain will fade with time. The love does not have to.
 
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daftcat75

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My cat before Krista, Cabernet, she was only ever sick at the very end. From the night I came home to her with drool ropes hanging from her mouth to her euthanasia appointment was maybe only two weeks. I have maybe only three or four pictures. None of them were digital. A couple have been scanned but a couple are still prints.

I rushed into Krista just a week or two after her passing.

Sadly, I remember so little of Cabbie now.

I wish I had spent more time mourning her loss, curating her legacy, and reflecting upon her life. I vowed I wouldn’t rush into the next cat after Krista.

And anyway, I feel like I have some PTSD to grow through after such intensive care for Krista in the last few years.

I live alone. Krista is the only roommate I’ve known in her lifetime. It’s so lonely now without her. But I‘m filled with fear and anxiety, and of course, crushing sadness, at the thought of being responsible for another cat right now. That makes this whole ordeal with the stray that much harder on me.
 
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