Remembering Jaguar

Mochiandme

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We adopted Jaguar at 10 weeks old in 2005 when I was 9yo. We lived with a family friend and Jaguar scratched at his door carpet trying to get in so he lived in the basement. I remember Jaguar would meow at like 4am and I snuck treats upstairs for him. I would fill my water bottle cap with water and he would drink from that at 4am lol. One time, we were at the dinner table and he was waiting to get fed and he meowed "HELLO" and it was the funniest thing lol.

The family friend got new couches and Jaguar went to live with my dad. My dad lived on a busy road and he let Jaguar outside. Jaguar got hit by a car and my stupid father didn't call anyone until the next day he called my mom saying Jaguar got hit by a car. I can't even imagine the pain Jaguar was in. She rushed over and brought him to the vet er. His hip was broken in 8 places and my mom was given a choice to amputate or try to save his leg. She said to try to save his leg. They brought in a special vet (I think orthopedic) and they were able to save his leg ($4000 later). He had a nail in his hip so he couldn't sit like a normal cat with the legs under the belly. He extended that leg when he sat.

When we brought him home (permanently), he had a cast on that stuck to his leg. He was obviously scared and tried to run under the coffee table that had open squares but his cast couldn't fit and I started screaming and crying because I thought the cast was going to rip off. He recovered and we moved in 2009 with Jaguar. We adopted another kitten who was wild not feral but he was crazy (Shadow). He climbed a ladder up to the attic and fell in between the walls. We let him and Jaguar out one day and never saw Shadow again. I believe he was truly wild and happy to be outside. I saw Jaguar one day and he was so skinny so we brought him back inside. He would escape sometimes and I always caught him lol I called himself a professional Jaguar catcher. He got out one day and I was trying to catch him and I found my mom's wallet and ID cards everywhere in the woods - I caught him but turns out her car was broken into because it was unlocked.

We adopted 2 more kittens that we handfed. Jaguar was a grumpy man lol I would crawl up the stairs like children do and see him on the top step. His paw was sticking out so I put my hand on it then he put his other paw on my hand and then my hand on his paw and we would keep going until he would get mad and claw me - I didn't mind. We ended up with another kitten who had feline herpes in 2015. Jaguar's eyes were bad so I took him to the vet - he had pneumonia. I remember being relieved because I thought he had cancer. I brought him home and the vet told me to "bother" him so he can cough up the stuff in his lungs. He wasn't eating and the nurse said if he doesn't eat or drink, he won't have the energy to fight the disease. I bought syringes and fed him food and water. After feeding him water, he had a seizure and passed at 10 years old.

I blamed myself for killing him because I thought the water went into his lungs. My brother buried him in the woods - outside where he would have wanted to be. A couple years later, I was volunteering at an adoption clinic and the vet let the volunteers in the exam room during spay/neuter surgery. I asked her if I killed him. She said any stress would have killed him. I miss my grumpy tux boy.
 

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di and bob

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I'm so sorry for your pain. Please try not to feel guilt about jaguar's passing, there is ALWAYS guilt and second-guessing with grieving. Because none of us are perfect. You have to have intent to have guilt, and you only tried to help.
Your bond with that sweet boy will always bind your two souls together. He will always be as close as your thoughts and prayers because love is spiritual, therefore eternal. To remember and grieve over a loved one is a testament to the love you shared. He lives on through you now, through your memories, so make your thoughts happy ones, full of love and joy. Go on through the rest of your life as you would want for him if you were the first to go. Not in tears and sadness, but living life to the fullest and seeking its joys. That is love.
Please accept my sincere condolences. Your pain is an intensely personal one because only you loved that boy so very much. but to have others acknowledge that pain and to share the burden because they have stood where you do now helps. Please know Jaguar will be thought of and prayed for by many here, we know your pain......RIP dear Jaguar. you will be dearly missed, you will forever have a secure place in a loving heart. May the good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again!
 
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Mochiandme

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I'm so sorry for your pain. Please try not to feel guilt about jaguar's passing, there is ALWAYS guilt and second-guessing with grieving. Because none of us are perfect. You have to have intent to have guilt, and you only tried to help.
Your bond with that sweet boy will always bind your two souls together. He will always be as close as your thoughts and prayers because love is spiritual, therefore eternal. To remember and grieve over a loved one is a testament to the love you shared. He lives on through you now, through your memories, so make your thoughts happy ones, full of love and joy. Go on through the rest of your life as you would want for him if you were the first to go. Not in tears and sadness, but living life to the fullest and seeking its joys. That is love.
Please accept my sincere condolences. Your pain is an intensely personal one because only you loved that boy so very much. but to have others acknowledge that pain and to share the burden because they have stood where you do now helps. Please know Jaguar will be thought of and prayed for by many here, we know your pain......RIP dear Jaguar. you will be dearly missed, you will forever have a secure place in a loving heart. May the good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again!
Thank you for your kind words and encouragement. I love the little secrets shared only by a pet and person. They seem small but are everything. I had a dream about Jaguar before with my grandfather who passed. They were in this underground tunnel and I was looking at them and they looked so happy to see me. I felt something bad behind me - I didn't turn around. I know Jaguar and my grandfather are watching over me. :wavey:
 

Mamanyt1953

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Rest you gentle, Jaguar, dream you deep. Your pawprints are on someone's heart forever.

Not to relive bad memories, but water inhalation would almost certainly have caused hard coughing and gasping, but not a seizure. I think that happened on its own, perhaps due to the illness, but NOT your efforts to give him food and water. Put your mind at ease about that, at least. Remember that you shared a remarkable bond with a remarkable cat. His love for you was translated and purified into Love, and is with you still, because Love abides. Always, forever, Love abides.
 
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Mochiandme

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Rest you gentle, Jaguar, dream you deep. Your pawprints are on someone's heart forever.

Not to relive bad memories, but water inhalation would almost certainly have caused hard coughing and gasping, but not a seizure. I think that happened on its own, perhaps due to the illness, but NOT your efforts to give him food and water. Put your mind at ease about that, at least. Remember that you shared a remarkable bond with a remarkable cat. His love for you was translated and purified into Love, and is with you still, because Love abides. Always, forever, Love abides.
He wasn’t coughing or gasping after I fed him water. He just had a seizure and saliva-ed so I assumed that was the water coming back up.
Thank you for your kind words. He’ll always be in my heart. :redheartpump:
 
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