Rehoming some cats, and I feel horrible.

CatladyJan

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C Cataria Oh I'm so sorry to hear they behaved like that. I realize that every place is different, but sheesh just approve you as a foster instead of them staying there. I hope you get to visit them soon.
 
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Cataria

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All things considered, I hate how the drop-off appointment went, but I get it. They are busy people and they have better things to do with their time than entertain someone who is causing them more work, it was just hard.

I finally called them last weekend to ask for a status update and to go visit them. They were in the foster wing because they were planning on calling me that day to come pick them up for fostering, so they were all in cages. All three of them were separate and hiding. I stayed and visited with them for an hour and half, and afterwards they were like different cats. Henna and Shiloh were out interacting with other people, and although Treble clearly wasn't happy, she stopped hiding.

I talked to them about fostering and we decided against it. I don't know how my cats at home would feel after them being gone for a whole week, I don't know how the three cats I surrendered would react to being driven back and forth, and fostering would mean people would only be able to see them on weekends, making it harder for them to be adopted. Since I decided not to foster, they said they would move them to one of the cat rooms (out of the cages) so they could interact with each other and some of the other cats. They said it would be a day or so for the move.

I want to visit them at least one more time to see how they are adjusting to the cat room, but again, I didn't want to be a pest, so I didn't call them yet.

I just checked their web site a few minutes ago and I was stunned to discover that Henna is pending adoption.

This is good, this is what I wanted. It definitely really hurts though.

I'm going to call them tomorrow and ask about a visit, but I don't know if I will get to see Henna again.
 

Alldara

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C Cataria Oh definitely call! You could even offer to provide an email for Henna's new family to contact you for history if they want it.

I know it's so painful ❣ I wish you much peace. You did your best for them and yourself.
 

theyremine

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Or you could ask the shelter to pass on a note from you stating her favorite foods, personality, background, and other purrsonal information. You could also include an email address, but I'm unsure if the shelter would be ok with that (ASK!! Every shelter/rescue has their own procedures)
And remember you are doing the right thing by your cats, even though it is breaking your heart.
 

rubysmama

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C Cataria : Sorry things aren't going exactly as you envisioned them, but it sounds like your cats are at a good shelter, and really good news that Henna has a pending adoption. Hugs to you, though, as I know the news is bittersweet. 🤗
 

tiggerwillow

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More pets, more responsibility. Cats are already big enough to be given into other people's hands, so the only thing left is to keep all the cats and deal with it.
By this logic though, people who hoard pets, even when it means the pets cannot get the right amount of vet attention, have to keep all their pets - even if the pets are suffering from neglect due to the owners being unable to give the same amount of care to each pet.

My Tigger - even now - due to being in the situation where her owners (previous home) could not give her the right amount of attention simply due to the number of pets they tried to take in and help - she is still very insecure and clingy towards people. This is 8-9 years after the rescue took her and 15 or so other cats in, plus the dogs, plus whatever other pets they had, I don't know.

But the OP is doing the responsible thing - like Tigger's previous humans did - "I cannot look after this number of pets, it's best if a lot of them get rehomed"
 

thanatos0042

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We had 13 cats at or highest number, though we are down to 7 now (and just lost one I posted about yesterday). It was so hard to have that many and not all of them got along. We have one cat that moved into Chris' room to live with the iguanas (who have passed now too) and we fenced that area off. We put in cat-vertical space on the walls so they had a lot of high spaces to be and that helped solve a lot of problems. We ordered this BIG cardboard castle (3 levels) and put it on a secure cable near a wall in the place and that helped a lot. Food dishes all over, litter boxes all over.

It was a ton of work to keep things clean - we live in a mostly tiled house, so that helped a lot lol. We tried re-homing some of our cats initially, but for whatever reason, it only took with a couple and we had more than a few returned and they weren't particularly bad cats, just couldn't adapt. We've lost them now through natural attrition, and it's been so hard. Amazing how attached you get when they aren't all attached to you lol.

Part of the problem is stimulation too, bored cats - idle hands - devil's workshop lol. We got a multi-beam laser light and put it in a spare room and we'd let it run through the day and that was a big hit, though they do get bored with it after a time. We built a catio (enclosed patio) outside of one of our windows with a cat door, that's always a bit hit, someone is always in there in rain or sun or shine.

But, we found some pheromone collars that work from amazon on some of them to varying degrees, some of the calming scent bottles you plug into the wall on others and liberal use of catnip 2 or 3 times a week. This actually cut down so much of the fighting and spraying. We have a dog and we got this big dog-pad for him to use - and some of the cats use it too lol that also helped out a lot on the mess.

Sometimes rehoming is the only option, as much as you love them and they love you, if everyone is unhappy, it's not a good situation. I hope it all works out well.
 

reba

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Stop beating yourself up. Do you know how many people won't shoulder this pain and then end up in cages with signs that say "owner passed"? Not sure where you are located. Do you have a PetSmart near you with a cat adoption clinic? Ours is run by a local rescue who seems great at fostering the cats until they are ready for adoption. They even take them all home on long weekends if the store is closed.
 
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Cataria

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Hey all! Sorry I haven't updated, a lot of nonsense going on in my life.

So the good news -- both Henna and Shiloh were adopted! Unfortunately I have heard no news about how they are doing, but I hope they are doing okay. I miss them a lot.

But Treble... she was in the shelter for weeks and didn't seem to be adjusting at all. Pretty much every interaction anyone had with her, she would only hide in a cat bed. I heard back that one of the volunteers decided to adopt her, so I was like, great! Fantastic! Someone who is familiar with her nervousness, she will do so well!

... But I guess not. I just checked the shelter web site and she is back on the adoption list.

So I need a sanity check. I don't know if they would ever consider me as a potential adopter, but I'm to the point I really want to try to take her back. I miss her so much, and I feel so guilty about how badly she has been adjusting to the situation. She's not the most socially friendly cat, but she was never *scared* in my house. How stupid am I being?
 

Mamanyt1953

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You are not being stupid at all. And there is absolutely no harm in contacting them, telling them that your situation has calmed down, and should they not find a good fit for her shortly, you would be happy to welcome her home.
 
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Cataria

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Well, this has been an eventful week!

I decided to go visit Treble on Tuesday, and depending on how I perceived she was doing,then ask the shelter if taking her back was possibility.

When I got there, Treble found a hiding place up near the ceiling. Unfortunately I couldn't visibly see her at all from the ground. I talked to the volunteers a bit and they tried to sound optimistic about how she was doing, but I just had a feeling something was wrong. So I asked them if there was any chance I could take her back.

And well... then I got the full story. :/ Treble has been doing really badly. I knew she was really scared at the shelter and spent almost all of her time hiding in a cat bed, but she was also barely eating. When the adopter took her home, she completely stopped eating and drinking. After hundreds of dollars, four medications, and no improvement, the adopter brought her back. :/

At this point, someone got a ladder and scared her out of her hiding place. Treble looked *awful*. She lost weight and her fur was scroungy like she wasn't taking care of herself. I visited her the next day and even with me there, she wouldn't stop shaking.

So we talked it over, and we agreed me taking Treble home would be the best thing for her! I literally just got home with her! I feel *horrible* that she has gone through all this, but I hope I can get her back to normal.

I couldn't decide if I should let her have free run of the house or keep her contained, but I decided to just let her loose to see how she and the other cats would react. The other cats came up and sniffed noses; no aggression or unhappiness, so I think they recognize her, even though I'm sure she smells different! She did take a few panicked runs through the house, but I left her alone and a half hour later she seems very calm and is actually lying on my feet. A *huge* turnaround from her behavior at the shelter, where she hid from anyone and everything, including me!!

I'm going to give her a few more hours to chill and then I'm going to see if I can coax her to eat some canned food. I definitely need to monitor her health to make sure this situation didn't permanently hurt her. I'm so glad to have her back though!
 
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Cataria

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So far Treble is doing great! She has definitely calmed down, and she has spent most of her time staying near me and even slept in my bed with my last night, something she rarely did before she went to the shelter. I have not seen her cozy up to the other cats yet that she used to be really close to, but they have been acting neutral to each other for now. I hope they warm up and be friends again.

Anyway, regarding food, does anyone have suggestions of a brand/type of wet food that would be particularly appetizing to her? I want to make sure she is eating. I have given her some wet food and she's eaten a little of it, but she's never been super excited about wet food like my other cats so the fact that she's not eating a lot of it doesn't mean anything. I also have dry food out all the time, so she could be eating that.

I can of course separate her into a room by herself until I'm sure she's eating regularly, but I want to try to avoid that as long as I can to keep things normal for her.
 

Alldara

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C Cataria hmmm. It's hard because it depends on the cat. Purina chicken and rice is my go-to to get Magnus to eat. Iams perfect portions is my go-to for Calcifer. Fancy Feast was always a hit with my late cats, I would get the $6 box of kitten ones.

Kitten foods smell stronger and cats are more likely to go for them.

What I would recommend is to give her a teaspoon of whatever the others are resting every day and a teaspoon of whatever kitten food you want her to eat. (Usually I buy a single cans of a few things) and see what she goes to town on!

Kitten food is great for those extra calories to build her back up or if you have a cat that doesn't eat much.
 
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Cataria

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C Cataria hmmm. It's hard because it depends on the cat. Purina chicken and rice is my go-to to get Magnus to eat. Iams perfect portions is my go-to for Calcifer. Fancy Feast was always a hit with my late cats, I would get the $6 box of kitten ones.

Kitten foods smell stronger and cats are more likely to go for them.
Oooh, good suggestion on the kitten food! When Treble and her siblings were still tiny kittens, Treble got into the Royal Canin Baby Cat when she was only three weeks old and was eating it, haha. I bet if I bought her some of that, she'd really enjoy it. I forgot about that!
 

Alldara

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Oooh, good suggestion on the kitten food! When Treble and her siblings were still tiny kittens, Treble got into the Royal Canin Baby Cat when she was only three weeks old and was eating it, haha. I bet if I bought her some of that, she'd really enjoy it. I forgot about that!
Oh yes! I've used that a lot to help Magnus when he was ill and to build up Lily's weight (RIP).

I'm glad she's settling in well. She's probably still decompressing so I think she will warm back up to her friends in awhile.

Have you tried some cat calming music for her?
 
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