Rehoming some cats, and I feel horrible.

[Cataria]

Hey all. Having a rough time right now.

I never thought I would be a person who would rehome a pet. Providing forever homes to my cats has been super important to me, and I thought I could handle anything that came my way.

I have ten cats. I love them all dearly. The first cat I adopted, the rest were strays I took in, most of them coming from a pregnant stray I took in six years ago that had a litter of kittens (I kept all of the kittens). I tried to do everything right. All of the cats stayed indoors and go to the vet 1-2 times a year, and even considering the number of cats, they get along fairly well, especially if I keep the Feliway diffusers running.

I never wanted to admit it to myself, but ten cats is overwhelming. Keeping up with the litterboxes? Huge amount of work. I have several Litter Robots which are wonderful, but several of the cats refuse to use them so I have to put out regular boxes, and given the choice, the cats prefer those. One of my cats won't use any litterbox consistently and I have to put out puppy pads. Vet thinks it's anxiety-related, I tried meds for awhile and didn't see a difference. Three of my cats have hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, and they are impossible to give meds to. One of my cats has asthma and has to use an inhaler, it's... fine.

Even considering the health problems, I can afford to keep the cats, but my house is an impossible disaster. It's just me and I am at my wits end trying to keep up with work, a normal household, and caring for all of the cats. It's been a problem for years, but I kept telling myself as long as the cats were healthy and happy, I could deal with it.

Shiloh, as I mentioned, has litterbox issues likely stemming from anxiety. Kismet gets stressed from being around Peridot, but she has a lot of space to get away from him so I didn't think it was a big deal. She's been losing fur, but she was one of the cats diagnosed with cardiomyopathy so the vet focused on that and we never got back to the fur thing. Recently had another vet appointment with Henna, and she's also losing fur, likely from overgrooming. The vet said stress, and that's when I finally got hit with a clue bat. The cats aren't happy either.

What am I even *doing* if all of us are miserable anyway?

This is the hardest thing I've ever done, but I'm rehoming some of my cats. I feel so sick and so ashamed of myself that it's gotten to this point, but I don't know what else to do. I can't fix this.

None of them are going to a shelter, I'm talking to some friends and friends-of-friends to find homes. I have a maybe from some friends who live 14 hours away for two bonded cats (haven't decided which two yet, we need to discuss which would be most suitable), but today I got my first yes from a friend who lives about three hours away. She's going to take Peridot. I think it will be a great fit, they have another cat with a similar personality and I think they will get along well, Peridot's a total cuddly sweetheart and I think he will enjoy having more humans love on him... But now that I have a yes, I realized this is real, it's happening.

I love Peridot so much. He sleeps with me every night and lets me hug him -- I always wanted a big, goofy, friendly cat like him, and when he showed up at my door and was perfect I was so happy. But realistically, of all the cats I have, I know he's the best fit for my friend's home. Also, he might be the lynchpin of the overgrooming stress in the household (if it's not the sheer number of cats alone that's doing it). But I hate this. I hate that he has to go. I don't want him to go.

Just wanted to vent about this crappy situation I put myself in. I wish I could do better.

 

[Antonio65]

How many cats are you going to re-home? Is it all of them, or only some of them?
If it's only some of them, and you have some favorite ones you wouldn't like to part with, you should state which cats are for rehoming and which are not.

I can understand you, ten cats can be really overwhelming, especially when some of them have health issues. Also, cleaning the house with ten cats it's a nearly impossible mission.

I have two cats only (indoors, others are outdoor only cats) and sometimes I struggle with keeping them at the best level possible.

The only thing that comes to my mind is to vet the new families thoroughly, so that the cats you took care of with so much love will keep being loved as they deserve, and if you have your favorite ones, you should make it clear from the start and write them off the adoption list.

All the best to you and your beloved cats.

 

[CatladyJan]

I understand, it is quite overwhelming. I have 10 in my home as well, 3 are long term fosters. I'm glad though you are networking through friends as hopefully you can get updates on them.

 

[rubysmama]

Please don't feel horrible about the need to rehome some of your cats. Instead be proud of yourself for rescuing them in the first place, caring for them all this time and now for realizing you are overwhelmed, and that it will be better for them, and you, if some were to rehomed to a new family.

Here's a TCS article you might want to read. It's about adopting out kittens, but should apply to rehoming adult cats too.
“kittens To Good Homes” – How To Find A Good Forever Home For Your Kittens – TheCatSite Articles

Good luck. Hugs...

 

[Cataria]

How many cats are you going to re-home? Is it all of them, or only some of them?

Only some of them. I'd like to get down to five, but it depends on what homes I can find. I want to make sure that any home they go to is a good fit and that it will be hopefully better than what I can give them.

The only thing that comes to my mind is to vet the new families thoroughly, so that the cats you took care of with so much love will keep being loved as they deserve, and if you have your favorite ones, you should make it clear from the start and write them off the adoption list.

I'm hoping I can stick with people I know or people my friends know well so I know they will be going to good homes that fit their personalities. It really sucks, but some of the cats I'm closest to are the ones I think would adjust better to a new home.

 

[Antonio65]

So, even if it's painful, you're doing the right thing, you're going to give the ones you love the most a new and perfect home. This evidence of your great heart.

So you're keeping the cats that are the least suitable for adoption due to their character, personality, health conditions, and this again is evidence of your dedication to the wellbeing of a cat as a creature.
You're not keeping them because they're cute and cuddly, but because they need help and you're sure nobody else could do as much as you do.

You're a great cat parent

 

[Cataria]

Thanks, everyone.

Unfortunately, I am struggling to find homes for the cats I am looking to rehome. Going through my network and my friends and friends-of-friends, I've only successfully found a home for Peridot. I'm still waiting to hear back from one more person, but I don't have my hopes up.

What are everyone's experiences with shelters? I'm now to the point that I am considering reaching out to my local no-kill shelter for help, but I'm not sure what the process is or what questions I should ask. The idea of my cats being scared and stuck in cages makes me so sick, but I'm not sure what else to do other than what I am doing now. Would it be a good idea to reach out to them, or should I just try to suck up my current situation and see if anybody eventually expresses interest? I'm extremely uncomfortable with social media and don't want to try to rehome through Facebook or Craigslist or the like, I'd really prefer somebody who has a clue (like a shelter) do this if possible.

If I do reach out to them, I think I should do so soon because if they don't have a waitlist now, they definitely will when kitten season starts.

 

[maggie101]

Have you tried the nextdoor app?

 

[Cataria]

Have you tried the nextdoor app?

I have not, but a friend did on my behalf. That's where I got the shelter recommendation.

 

[Furballsmom]

What if you hired a house cleaner, either one time or repeating, just to give you a break and a fresh start.

I'm not sure whether this would be any help, but when you talk to the shelter, if they are full ask if they'd post the cat's info while you keep them at home. It would give you a broader audience.

 

[Cataria]

What if you hired a house cleaner, either one time or repeating, just to give you a break and a fresh start.

I'll be honest, my house is so bad I'm pretty sure my carpet is unsalvageable and I don't think a regular cleaner can fix it. I'm actually planning on calling Steri Clean since their site says they can fix cat urine odors, but I know it's going to be expensive and I don't want to end up with the problem that they clean and fix the house, and the cats go right back to destroying it again. I don't even want to call until I figure out what I'm going to do to stop it from happening again.

I'm not sure whether this would be any help, but when you talk to the shelter, if they are full ask if they'd post the cat's info while you keep them at home. It would give you a broader audience.

I would be happy to keep my cats at home and take them elsewhere for people to visit them, if that's a thing that shelters do. Not sure if that will work out with me needing to be at work and having an hour commute, but I can ask what options that have. Fridays and weekends I could do.

 

[Furballsmom]

don't even want to call until I figure out what I'm going to do to stop it from happening again.

I understand, --although if it's getting to the unhealthy point you might want to see about a regular cleaning to help with things.

 

[theyremine]

Check with some of the smaller volunter shelters in your area. Our shelter will "facilitate" rehoming by advertising the cat on our site and taking adoption applications but the owner of the cat makes the final determination. (the cat never comes to the shelter)

 

[Sarthur2]

Make sure to tell any adopters that they can return the cat(s) to you if it does not work out.

Perhaps stop using the robot litter boxes if the cats do not like them.

I would think twice about re-homing my favorite cat. How much will you miss this cat?

I would focus on trying to find homes for the cats who seem to have anxiety, as those cats may be the ones who need to live with less stress and fewer cats.

I had 11 cats but am now down to 8, having lost 3 over the past 18 months due to old age and illness.

I scoop litter once a day. I do have lots of food bowls in different rooms, but my cats seem to have sorted themselves pretty well as to who sleeps and hangs out where. I have a cat who always sleeps with me, and I depend on him being in the bed. I could never part with him.

I have bonded cats, and non-bonded cats. It’s a lot of work and expensive, and I have times when I wonder if I was crazy to take in so many cats, but mostly it works out. I do work a job, so am not home 24/7 with my cats.

I do understand your feelings of being overwhelmed, and I think it’s important that you do what you need to do to feel better. I‘m sending you supportive wishes , and do keep us posted on your progress and decisions.

 

[Felinesage]

With no kill shelters I think everyone will have their own process. It’s likely they will be happy to let you foster the cats until they find an adopter. I find that friendly cats are well liked by no kill shelters because an unproblematic cat - with no vet bills - and is friendly will be adopted quickly and they can make money for the more problematic cats.

 

[Meowmee]

I'll be honest, my house is so bad I'm pretty sure my carpet is unsalvageable and I don't think a regular cleaner can fix it. I'm actually planning on calling Steri Clean since their site says they can fix cat urine odors, but I know it's going to be expensive and I don't want to end up with the problem that they clean and fix the house, and the cats go right back to destroying it again. I don't even want to call until I figure out what I'm going to do to stop it from happening again.



I would be happy to keep my cats at home and take them elsewhere for people to visit them, if that's a thing that shelters do. Not sure if that will work out with me needing to be at work and having an hour commute, but I can ask what options that have. Fridays and weekends I could do.

Try Scoe, that really works. you will have to rip up the carpet and dump it though, then treat the floor with pure strength scoe.

SCOE 10X Super Concentrated Odor Eliminator

I am sorry you are overwhelmed, and I hope you find good homes for some of them soon I would try reaching out to shelters, you have nothing to lose. hugs.

 

[dragonlady2]

Just a suggestion…we have 7 cats and they do not all get along. They are strays that have found their way to us and I had the same anxiety in thinking about rehoming any of them. We came up with solution that seems to be working for us. We have zones. Upstair zone is for our one cat who gets attacked and picked on by the other two who have the downstairs zone. We have set up a sort of fence along the upstairs that keeps them separated. The upstairs cat gets our attention all night and the downstairs cats get attention during the day. We have 3 other cats that are/were feral that live in our outdoor catio. They appear to like it out there and to be honest they have fewer health issues than the indoor cats. The last cat gets along with none of the others so we have created a tunnel system for her to spend her days either in my sons room or in a small outdoor catio for her.
Is there way to create separate areas for some of them? Can you create an outdoor catio that uses a bedroom window as an entrance/exit?
I am with others in saying don’t give up your favourite cat as Peridot may be what gives you the positive piece that you may need to offset the feelings around rehoming any of the others.
You are awesome in caring for all of your cats as you do.

 

[Alldara]

C Cataria This is such a difficult decision to make and I know how crappy it feels in the moment. Once the cats have homes found and are settled, over time peace can be made with the situation.

Are there local rescues rather than shelters in the area you can reach out to? Give them a call rather than an email. They may have foster homes or something that would be better. Since you said finances aren't the issue, donations of food and litter to go along with the cats they take is super helpful.

For shelters, yes I agree with above: seeing if they can post the photos and they could perhaps stay with your during that time?

I had to return some pocket pets to the rescue I got them from when I became ill. Providing their items and food was beneficial. They've long passed on now, but I still help raise money for them.

If you're in a small town area, consider reaching out to rescues in the closest major city.

Also ask at your vets office if they can ask around. I've heard many stories of people rehoming their cats through the vet.

The only other pet I rehomed was to an acquaintance. Actually she was the cashier at a store we frequented and she can recommended from another person we knew and had a friend who is a veterinarian. She still that pet and a decay later we still get updates by watching her social media.

 

[Anne2021]

I understand you feeling bad about having to rehome some of your cats. I can't even imagine taking care of ten, and I can imagine that they are not happy in a home with that many. I have four and am procrastinating rehoming one that has to go. I've told my story here before, and I'm still dragging my feet because I am stressed about choosing a new home for her. She can't get along with the other cats and I believe she needs to go to a home with no other cats due to her issues. That's one of the reasons I am delaying - because I will need to be very choosy where she goes. I have a relative who knows about her who keeps telling me that he will take her. I won't do it because I know him and I know her. He has a temper and she is very trying. He has also never cared for a pet of any kind in his adult life either, though he grew up with cats, but his mother did all the work. I won't put her into a situation that I believe could get her kicked when she scratches his things and knocks his stuff over. She's hyper and easily bored among other things. Anyway, I reached out to the local no-kill shelter and they said they would take her, but she could be there a while because she also has a small ding on her health record suggestive of a mild heart issue - not as bad as the hypertrophic cardiomyopathy. I've been debating whether to try nextdoor or one of the services that help you meet people for rehoming, like Rehome through adoptapet.com. My vet recommends getyourpet.com, but I don't know about those services. I noticed no one else suggested that, and I'm wondering why. I have tried so long and so hard to make this work and spent so much money I can't afford, and this is just so stressful on her and on my other cats. I've got a male senior who is sometimes scared to use the litter box because the hyper one is fond of litter box ambushing. My younger cat who is very bonded to me has dealt with multiple ear infections since the hyper one came to live with us, and who knows what this is doing to the health of all of them as they live in daily tension. I isolate her a lot now to keep things tolerable, but that's not fair to her. It's a terribly emotional process, I know, but I hope you won't carry guilt over this.

 

[CodyMolly]

Hey all. Having a rough time right now.

I never thought I would be a person who would rehome a pet. Providing forever homes to my cats has been super important to me, and I thought I could handle anything that came my way.

I have ten cats. I love them all dearly. The first cat I adopted, the rest were strays I took in, most of them coming from a pregnant stray I took in six years ago that had a litter of kittens (I kept all of the kittens). I tried to do everything right. All of the cats stayed indoors and go to the vet 1-2 times a year, and even considering the number of cats, they get along fairly well, especially if I keep the Feliway diffusers running.

I never wanted to admit it to myself, but ten cats is overwhelming. Keeping up with the litterboxes? Huge amount of work. I have several Litter Robots which are wonderful, but several of the cats refuse to use them so I have to put out regular boxes, and given the choice, the cats prefer those. One of my cats won't use any litterbox consistently and I have to put out puppy pads. Vet thinks it's anxiety-related, I tried meds for awhile and didn't see a difference. Three of my cats have hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, and they are impossible to give meds to. One of my cats has asthma and has to use an inhaler, it's... fine.

Even considering the health problems, I can afford to keep the cats, but my house is an impossible disaster. It's just me and I am at my wits end trying to keep up with work, a normal household, and caring for all of the cats. It's been a problem for years, but I kept telling myself as long as the cats were healthy and happy, I could deal with it.

Shiloh, as I mentioned, has litterbox issues likely stemming from anxiety. Kismet gets stressed from being around Peridot, but she has a lot of space to get away from him so I didn't think it was a big deal. She's been losing fur, but she was one of the cats diagnosed with cardiomyopathy so the vet focused on that and we never got back to the fur thing. Recently had another vet appointment with Henna, and she's also losing fur, likely from overgrooming. The vet said stress, and that's when I finally got hit with a clue bat. The cats aren't happy either.

What am I even *doing* if all of us are miserable anyway?

This is the hardest thing I've ever done, but I'm rehoming some of my cats. I feel so sick and so ashamed of myself that it's gotten to this point, but I don't know what else to do. I can't fix this.

None of them are going to a shelter, I'm talking to some friends and friends-of-friends to find homes. I have a maybe from some friends who live 14 hours away for two bonded cats (haven't decided which two yet, we need to discuss which would be most suitable), but today I got my first yes from a friend who lives about three hours away. She's going to take Peridot. I think it will be a great fit, they have another cat with a similar personality and I think they will get along well, Peridot's a total cuddly sweetheart and I think he will enjoy having more humans love on him... But now that I have a yes, I realized this is real, it's happening.

I love Peridot so much. He sleeps with me every night and lets me hug him -- I always wanted a big, goofy, friendly cat like him, and when he showed up at my door and was perfect I was so happy. But realistically, of all the cats I have, I know he's the best fit for my friend's home. Also, he might be the lynchpin of the overgrooming stress in the household (if it's not the sheer number of cats alone that's doing it). But I hate this. I hate that he has to go. I don't want him to go.

Just wanted to vent about this crappy situation I put myself in. I wish I could do better.

I understand you feeling bad about having to rehome some of your cats. I can't even imagine taking care of ten, and I can imagine that they are not happy in a home with that many. I have four and am procrastinating rehoming one that has to go. I've told my story here before, and I'm still dragging my feet because I am stressed about choosing a new home for her. She can't get along with the other cats and I believe she needs to go to a home with no other cats due to her issues. That's one of the reasons I am delaying - because I will need to be very choosy where she goes. I have a relative who knows about her who keeps telling me that he will take her. I won't do it because I know him and I know her. He has a temper and she is very trying. He has also never cared for a pet of any kind in his adult life either, though he grew up with cats, but his mother did all the work. I won't put her into a situation that I believe could get her kicked when she scratches his things and knocks his stuff over. She's hyper and easily bored among other things. Anyway, I reached out to the local no-kill shelter and they said they would take her, but she could be there a while because she also has a small ding on her health record suggestive of a mild heart issue - not as bad as the hypertrophic cardiomyopathy. I've been debating whether to try nextdoor or one of the services that help you meet people for rehoming, like Rehome through adoptapet.com. My vet recommends getyourpet.com, but I don't know about those services. I noticed no one else suggested that, and I'm wondering why. I have tried so long and so hard to make this work and spent so much money I can't afford, and this is just so stressful on her and on my other cats. I've got a male senior who is sometimes scared to use the litter box because the hyper one is fond of litter box ambushing. My younger cat who is very bonded to me has dealt with multiple ear infections since the hyper one came to live with us, and who knows what this is doing to the health of all of them as they live in daily tension. I isolate her a lot now to keep things tolerable, but that's not fair to her. It's a terribly emotional process, I know, but I hope you won't carry guilt over this.

Sorry to hear about what you’re going through and can be very emotional sad to get regime your pets. Although I have adopted several strays and ferals in the street too and brought them inside. I was very lucky all took to the litter but one.. Mia - I called her Messy Mia. Pooped peed next to the litter box . So what saved me … and trained my cat within one day.. yes seriously one day… I was very skeptical because I never used it before either. My vet technician told me about it. And I was SHOCKED that the day after I put it in the litter … she used the litter!!! Go Buy “Cat Attract” google it and it will come up. Put alittle of it in the litter and I bet you it will work!!! The next day she went in the litter !!! I just put alittle. I did that for months then weaned off day by day until she didn’t need it. I am sure you will be relieved on that end. I have 7 cats and 2 dogs so I know it’s alot to clean especially if they are messy. I do hope this shall remove some stress and hope that you end up keeping them.bless you for reaching out because you must love them very much!