Rehoming my cat

[KKB]

I’m wondering if anyone might kindly offer me any words of expertise or comfort.

I have two cats. The older one ( female ) very placid, but the younger one is very aggressive towards her and it’s worsening over time. She’s nearly 10, and I don’t want her to suffer ( he’s 5 years old ).

He’s also spraying all over the house to an obsessive degree- all the time. It used to be now and again, but now it’s out of control. He’s attached to me, but not so much to others, not even my kids.

I have tried everything: he has been checked by a vet, prescribed calming plug-ins, I have bought sprays...there are no neighbouring cats or anything. He sprays right in front of people, quite obviously. It’s a territorial thing, I think.

I have sought advice from The Cat Protection League, and they say how get it could be that he is a cat who would prefer being in a home with no other cats. They say that people often choose to get rid of the older cat - but she’s too nervous and old to be easily rehomed. She’s even more attached to me.

Thing is, I’ve been in tears about it. I feel so guilty. I have never given up on an animal, but people say that he must be unsettled - as the other cat and the whole family is! It’s all getting out of control.

How do I stop the guilt? Am I doing the right thing? He sleeps on my bed at night and it’s as if he knows something is up : today he brought me a live mouse, which he’s never done before! I am so sad about all of this.

 

[game misconduct]

is he spayed?

 

[KKB]

Yes, he is

 

[game misconduct]

i had a similar situation at my dads house with my sisters cats what we did was keep them seperated when nobody was home only had them all out when someone was home to keep an eye on them(prevent the bullying etc.) took years but they all did get along kinda

 

[jefferd18]

I can tell you are really torn about this and I can't help but think there is a solution to your problem other than giving your kitty away.

I have two cats who absolutely hate one another. Why?- because the younger male (13) attacks my older girl (18) every chance he gets. For some unknown reason he has always had it in for her. Somebody had suggested that it was because she was such a nervous cat and that her unease made him anxious. I don't know, but I do know that the only solution I could come up with was to keep them separated, 24/7. Since they are both odd ducks, I have never felt comfortable re-homing either one of them.

Have you tried a cat behaviorist for your boy? One thing a friend of mine did in a similar situation was to reintroduce both of her cats to one another and it worked.

 

[Sylvia Jones]

I’m so sorry this is happening. Are you using an enzyme cleaner when he sprays?

 

[KKB]

Yes, I am. I’ve tried everything.

 

[KKB]

I can tell you are really torn about this and I can't help but think there is a solution to your problem other than giving your kitty away.

I have two cats who absolutely hate one another. Why?- because the younger male (13) attacks my older girl (18) every chance he gets. For some unknown reason he has always had it in for her. Somebody had suggested that it was because she was such a nervous cat and that her unease made him anxious. I don't know, but I do know that the only solution I could come up with was to keep them separated, 24/7. Since they are both odd ducks, I have never felt comfortable re-homing either one of them.

Have you tried a cat behaviorist for your boy? One thing a friend of mine did in a similar situation was to reintroduce both of her cats to one another and it worked.

 

[KKB]

Thank you for your response.

I can’t imagine how I could keep them apart 24/7. I haven’t contacted a cat behaviourist yet. Feeling very upset about it all!

 

[The Goodbye Bird]

I have sought advice from The Cat Protection League, and they say how get it could be that he is a cat who would prefer being in a home with no other cats.

Too bad.

This is just my personal opinion, but too bad. We people don't always get our absolute perfect preference either and most of us go out and work every day for what we do have.

I've always been a multi-cat home and I've never indulged anybody who wanted to be an only cat. I don't feel I should. Not only do more cats mean more happiness for me and the ones that do like to socialise, but also think of the heaps of needless cats who die for each home that some selfish cat wants for himself alone.

He has to stop spraying. He can't be allowed to do that to your house. If his solution to not having his absolute perfect ideal world is to stamp his testicles, throw a temper tantrum, and spray, and you do everything in your power to make him stop and he won't, I wouldn't feel overly guilty. Do try everything though, because once he's gone, it's totally gonna be you against your brain in a constant game of well-wait-but-I-could-have and you not only wanna win that one for the sake of your own sanity, but you love your cat and he seems to love you too, so you also want to do right by him.

If he's the one doing wrong you CANNOT even consider giving up the other one. That'll make you feel even worse.

 

[Furballsmom]

Why can't you separate them?

 

[cataholic07]

How many litter boxes do you have? Uncovered and unlined? Placed all around the house? Is it possible he is seeing outside cats that are upsetting him? How many cat trees do you have? Are you able to get a catio where he can go in and outside freely?

 

[felinelover2]

Sorry to hear about your dilemma.

It sounds like he is spraying to mark his territory since he doesn't like your other cat, or even other people, in his territory. I would try to separate and re-introducing them via site swapping over time, up play time with him and try to get him walking outside on a harness (he can mark anything out there to his heart's content). Also add elevated spaces, lots of other scent markers (2-3 trees or scratching posts in each significant room as well as extra litter boxes where he sprays (even if it means 10 litter boxes in the house, lol), and reward with treats whenever he scratches or goes in these cat-only spaces). This way he can mark his territory with his scent, but appropriately and appropriate spots instead of through spraying. I would also go back to the vet to see if there is some stronger medication to help him than just calming sprays, at least temporarily, while you try these behavior changes. Working with a behaviorist may be a good idea if you can afford it. If this all fails, then you've given it your all and re-homing may be the best option, but an aggressive cat may not have much real hope of finding another home - not trying to add to your guilt, but it would motivate me to try everything possible first.

Good luck!

 

[dragonlady2]

Could you make a catio and give him some outdoor time? I have had to separate my cats as well. The upstairs belongs to one cat and the downstairs belongs to the other two. So far so good.

 

[Kflowers]

Have you had his hormone levels checked? Sometimes the neutering is
incomplete. I have no idea how, but it happens. It can be checked.

When you are cleaning where he sprayed, or any where, do not use ammonia cleaners. these smell like another cat is spraying to your cat and he will try to cover them.

When I had a cat who sprayed one vet suggested a vet chiropracter. She did discover that his tail was a bit off - grabbed by a kid before I got him, caught in a door - no one knows. She adjusted it. That helped some. It did not cure him. It turned out the neighbor's neutered tom was spraying our front and back door every day. So it made sense, but you know that's not your problem.

I would get a full body x-ray done. If a cat is in pain they will be responding to it in many ways. Some fight. Others feel vulnerable and will feel the need to reinforce their territory marking to warn off other males. If he is in pain and you can get medicine for him it may help
calm him. I mention the x-ray since when we had a wild one the vet said she's fine. I insisted and he did the x-ray to humor me (that was clear) but it turned out she had arthritis in her spine despite only being a year old. She wasn't spraying, she was fighting. Medicine helped.

 

[Joan M]

Oh I am so sorry you are going through this. I have no advice; it sounds like you are willing to try anything, and maybe some of the posts above mention something you haven't thought of. I just wanted to tell you I am so sorry, this is such a sad situation, and you sound like you love them both. I hope something works out, but if it doesn't, you will know you've tried.

 

[jefferd18]

Thank you for your response.

I can’t imagine how I could keep them apart 24/7. I haven’t contacted a cat behaviourist yet. Feeling very upset about it all!

Please read the other's comments. there are ways to successfully keep them separated. Have your tried to reintroduce them to one another? Have you tried any medications to calm him down, because he sounds like he is more agitated with the other kitty than anything else.