Rehoming Cat

LivGrace

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I'm considering rehoming my cat but I am feeling conflicted about it.

I've had him for about 8 months now so I feel that is plenty of time to bond but we are just not at that point. I have another cat that I love more than anything but I just don't feel that connection with the newer cat. He has had a traumatic past so I thought that might be the reason. I didn't want to rehome him too quickly because I know he has been bounced around a lot in the past. I've tried to be patient and form that connection but it just isn't happening and I don't think it will. I've fostered kittens while I had him I've formed connections with all of them more so than my newer cat. I was more upset giving them up than I am at the thought of rehoming my cat. When I think of rehoming him, it is more of a relief.

On top of not having the connection, he doesn't get along great with my other cat. When my cat tries to play, the newer one hisses and fights with him. They don't dislike each other but their play always turns into fighting. He also bites me sometimes when I pet him. It's not like love bites. I know that some cats do that and my other cat does occasionally and it's very gentle. But the newer cat will be purring and enjoying it when I'm petting him and then he will bite me so hard he draws blood and then he starts hissing at me. He has some other behavioral issues that I have tried to work on but nothing has changed.

I've tried to be patient with him because I know he hasn't had the best situation. I just feel like we're not a fit for each other and he might be better off in another home that he is happier in. His foster mom before he came to me said he was really sweet and a big cuddler and everything. But he has never been like that here. He isn't an old cat so he has plenty of years left and I feel like he might enjoy them more elsewhere with someone who he works better with.

I know that he would go to a good home because I am required to return him to the organization I got him from if I decide to rehome and they go through an application process, interview process, and they call references. So I am not worried about him going to a bad home. I think I would just feel guilty rehoming him since he's already had a hard life and I would just be adding to that. But if I can make it better I would rather do that.

Sorry for the long post but does anyone have a similar experience or some advice? Thanks!
 

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i dont think he got a fair chance at all if your fostering other cats while trying to create a bond etc. no stability 8 months isnt gonna erase a bad past for him the biting you while you try to pet him might be cause hes just not that kind of cat. seems to me like you have all these expectations of him that your not giving this guy the time or patience to live up to in his own time and way .when i adopted my cat graycie she had a bad rap at the pet smart as a not people friendly cat thats her now after 2 1/2 years loving, cuddly on her terms not mine. sure i got bit and scratched even got plenty of scars still on my arms only recently has she learned to play gentle. please dont take any of this as a knock against you. i think its great you give the time and effort to foster cats dont give up on this guy give him a fair shake on his time. to meet your expectations let him come to you for pets and loving i cant even hold graycie if i pick her up she bites me :lol: but i can rub her belly all i want when she decides to lay ontop of me during our daily naps on the couch. i cant imagine a better companion pet than her
 

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ArtNJ

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Since it isn't too bad with your other cat, why rehome him? Its perfectly fine to have a cat that ignores the human and just does their own thing - many people do. If you think he needs to be an only cat to be happy, that is one thing, but it doesn't sound like that is the issue. Sometimes things change, and there may not be a good answer as to why he did better when fostered.
 
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LivGrace

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Thank you guys for the replies. I appreciate it.

I agree that I probably did have expectations that he would be more like my other cat who I love so much and that they would get along better. Realizing that did help but I still just don't feel that attached to him.

I was not originally planning on fostering cats but a friend of mine found some kittens outdoors that weren't in the best shape and would be too feral to work with soon so I took them in temporarily until we could get them healthy and find them good homes. They were only here for a few weeks. The thing I noticed though was that both my newer cat and my older cat seemed to like the other kittens more than they like each other. They both loved interacting and snuggling with the kittens and they never do that with each other. They were good foster dads haha. I know that some cats get along better with kittens though so I didn't think much of it. But now I am thinking that they both might enjoy other cats more so than each other.

I'm just a bit worried that I'm not giving him the best life here. I take good care of him and everything but since I don't feel that connection with him, it just makes me think that if I were to rehome him then he would have a happier life and be more loved. He's a sweet cat and a lot of people were trying to adopt him when I did so I know he would have no problem finding a home. The adoption organization requires applications, interviews, and references so I know he would go to a good place.

I just feel guilty for even considering rehoming him. He has had a hard life and I don't want to keep changing things around for him. I adopted him with the full intent to take care of him for the rest of his life and give him so much love. But at the same time, I would feel guilty not rehoming him. I take good care of him but he's a good cat and I feel like I don't appreciate him as much as I should. I have tried to change my mindset on that but I still feel like he would be loved more somewhere else. I just don't feel that it's right to keep him out of obligation rather than finding him a home he will be happier in.

I also had the thought that if I rehomed him I would be able to foster a cat every now and then. I know the shelter near me needs fosters desperately but I can't have more than two at my townhome. I loved fostering those kittens and helping them out and I think that would be an awesome thing to do more of. I thought that if I did that then my cat would find a better home, and I could help quite a few other cats too.

Sorry for my posts being so long. I'm just torn on the whole thing but I've been considering rehoming him for a long time. I just want to do what is best for him but I'm not sure what that is.
 

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sounds more like you have already made up your mind so just do whats best for you along with what you think is best for the cat not trying to be mean ok but if this was a human relationship i would say your just playing head games with a poor guy cause each day that passes this cat might just decide ok i trust and love this person only to get dumped by you the next day and only to have to do it all over again its not fair to the cat. if i remember right your first post said you had him about 9 months or so and felt he had no connection to you or affection for you like your other cat so now you feel he would do better elsewhere you didnt give your love unconditionally imho.but sad as it sounds probably better you rehome the cat.since he may never meet your conditions
 

stonegatewest

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I understand your struggle. I have a situation where I took in a cat bounced around for a long time. The cat is ok but I really don’t trust her. 3 weeks in and she’s behind a gate so she won’t attack my other cats and when I approach her I don’t know if I’m going to get a request for a bit of petting or get my finger bit or the cobra hiss!!! Do what you feel is best for you, your other cats and this cat. If you are not feeling it with this cat, it will know your hesitancy. So your not fooling the cat. I’m being as genuine as I can with my new cat. Whatever path I take I will know I have it my best.
 
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