Redirected aggression over new kitten

ArtNJ

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It still sounds like its going ok to me, but that there is more work to be done by the introduction process. You might need the process to go another couple weeks -- it takes as long as it takes. Face to face is always going to be more stressful, so it would be better if there is zero redirected aggression and minimal or no hissing before you get to that final step.

You can't comfort a very stressed cat -- all you can do is give them a bit of space, so your reaction was perfect.
 

june6163

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Hi again-
Does anyone have any advice for how to respond to Olive's redirected aggression during this time?

We have kept baby Fig in her own room. Olive has done okay with this. She has definitely improved in the last 2 weeks since getting baby Fig. Her reactions to Fig in the home have defiantly gone down when Fig is only in her own room.
We have let Fig wander around the living room when Olive is in the bedroom sleeping. Clearly she smells Fig and will lash out after we let Olive back in. I read that her getting used to Fig's scent is good. NO face to face interaction yet. We are conquering Olive getting used to Fig's scent first.

For example-This was just after Fig was let into the living room for a bit to run around, then put back into her room. Fig is crying to be let out again. Olive clearly hears her and is annoyed by her cries.
She goes to the bathtub because she likes to drink out of there. She waits patiently for me, and then when I go to turn on the faucet for her, she howls and tries to smack my hand. I do not yell. Just stop and back up and leave the room. Is this a good reaction? I know that I cannot discipline her in the same way like I would a dog.
Olive was totally fine this afternoon before this happened. I took a nap with her and she was cooing/purring and really enjoyed the extra time with me.

I just keep telling myself that it has only been about 2 weeks since Fig has come home. I need to be patient. I just feel guilt and anxiety over doing this the right way.


Thank you!!
Well I feel bad for Fig. Can you intro them to each other maybe once a day with gig in a cat carrier?
 
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lmdisalle

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I go though moments where I feel bad for both of them :( Serious mommy guilt. I should add that my husband is still working from home and works all day in his office (aka Fig's room) He is able to give her a ton of love, attention and play all day.
When we do introduce them to each other face to face, Fig will be protected behind a baby gate and never unsupervised for a long time. My sweet Olive will just need time- but that is okay. We have much patience and time to give. Just feeling guilty in the meantime...
 
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lmdisalle

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It still sounds like its going ok to me, but that there is more work to be done by the introduction process. You might need the process to go another couple weeks -- it takes as long as it takes. Face to face is always going to be more stressful, so it would be better if there is zero redirected aggression and minimal or no hissing before you get to that final step.

You can't comfort a very stressed cat -- all you can do is give them a bit of space, so your reaction was perfect.
Thank you!! Makes me feel better to know I have been reacting the correct way.
 

flybear

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I want to send you some positive thoughts ! My cats are usually very good with new cats and kittens but had a much more difficult than usual time with our last two kittens ... It usually takes a good month until my cats ( no anxiety ) begin to be "business as usual - relaxed" ... it is normal for cats to act differently around a newcomer or any major change in their life! I think getting another cat will evenuatlly be very good for your anxiety cat ( who is very lucky to have you !) - but it will take time... Make sure the baby is getting fixed early and before the first hormones kick in to avoid extra stress. Make sure both cats have plenty of high spots and caves to get out of each others sight and lots of litter boxes, food and water stations and can stay away from each other ... a slow introduction is good but at some point ... you have to go for it and let them figure out how they'll deal with each other- a crying distressed kitten in another room can be upsetting to adult cats just as much as a kitten walking around in the same room ... so far the first signs are encouraging- you are doing great ... ignore the swats and attacks and cat and walk away ... chances are that it will improve ! I would likely have kitten out supervised and keep kitten locked away at night and when unsupervised - make sure you give attention to your long time resident first ... but love on the kitten too ...
 
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lmdisalle

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I want to send you some positive thoughts !

You have no idea how much it means to me to have support from fellow cat parents! It has been a crazy year, and I just want to make sure I am doing things correctly.

I know that my 4 year old will be uncomfortable during the introduction, but I really do believe she will be happier in the long run.

We are doing scent swapping, (4 year old Olive in bedroom, baby Fig supervised in living room). Just started a little peek through baby gate yesterday. Olive is doing better than we thought. She just stares with a few hisses. Will do a few smacks at us when we walk past her, but no peeing or attacking :)

We will continue to take things very slow and keep up the peeks for about 2 weeks. Olive seems more annoyed when baby Fig screams for attention.
 
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lmdisalle

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EB061760-68AC-47F7-B30A-5A2941A22828.jpeg

Look at this sweet girl. She wants to be good so so bad!! She will smack or hiss at us after seeing or hearing the baby, but then 5 mins later she is flipped over relaxed.
I know she just needs time. She loves us so much, and it hurts my heart that she has anxiety
 
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lmdisalle

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Okay friends-
We have now worked our way up to a baby gate on the nursery door.
Olive will stare for a few mins, hiss maybe, and then leave. She will go into the bedroom and lay on her back and go to sleep or something.
Is she not showing enough interest in the baby? It’s like she is scared of I thought she would be wanting to watch her every second she could.
We have her a chance earlier in the week to go explore the nursery alone... she didn’t seem overly freaked out. A little hissy pissy maybe.

it also doesn’t help that baby Fig has climbed or escaped every gate we have tried.
 

Lisannez

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First I think you need to breathe and relax. Our pets take their cues from us. You clearly love your cats very much and you are very worried about your four year old cat, the cat feels that and chances are it’s increasing her anxiety and the cat is reacting to that. Cats also react strongly to changes and so the cat’s human and/or humans are anxious and there is a new cat in the house and you are trying to have a child so there is a lot going on here even for a non anxious cat. Think of your cat as a child with anxiety, this would be difficult for a child with anxiety too. I do think you need to explore some anxiety medication for the cat. Just because one did not work, does not mean another will not. Some cats just like some humans have a chemical imbalance that causes them to act out an be anxious. It is not their fault, it cannot be fixed any other way. It is not fun for the cat because the cat knows that their parents are upset but they can’t make it stop. My cat was on a very low dose of Prozac growing up it changed her life and personality. We almost had to rehome her because she was attacking us. My cousin’s cat petrified anyone that entered the home, turns out the cat had an diagnosed thyroid problem, once the cat was on meds it again was a different cat. Have the cat’s thyroid checked too. Second, some cats just do not do well with other cats or other pets for that matter. We have two cats, they were introduced in a procedure similar to how you described and it worked after two weeks. You are doing it the right way, but you are doing it with a very anxious cat. It may be that your four year old is not fit for a two cat household and if that’s the case it’s better to learn that now than later. But I think try the meds first, and try some human TLC for yourself too. This is a very stressful time for all of us.
 
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lmdisalle

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First I think you need to breathe and relax. Our pets take their cues from us. You clearly love your cats very much and you are very worried about your four year old cat, the cat feels that and chances are it’s increasing her anxiety and the cat is reacting to that. Cats also react strongly to changes and so the cat’s human and/or humans are anxious and there is a new cat in the house and you are trying to have a child so there is a lot going on here even for a non anxious cat. Think of your cat as a child with anxiety, this would be difficult for a child with anxiety too. I do think you need to explore some anxiety medication for the cat. Just because one did not work, does not mean another will not. Some cats just like some humans have a chemical imbalance that causes them to act out an be anxious. It is not their fault, it cannot be fixed any other way. It is not fun for the cat because the cat knows that their parents are upset but they can’t make it stop. My cat was on a very low dose of Prozac growing up it changed her life and personality. We almost had to rehome her because she was attacking us. My cousin’s cat petrified anyone that entered the home, turns out the cat had an diagnosed thyroid problem, once the cat was on meds it again was a different cat. Have the cat’s thyroid checked too. Second, some cats just do not do well with other cats or other pets for that matter. We have two cats, they were introduced in a procedure similar to how you described and it worked after two weeks. You are doing it the right way, but you are doing it with a very anxious cat. It may be that your four year old is not fit for a two cat household and if that’s the case it’s better to learn that now than later. But I think try the meds first, and try some human TLC for yourself too. This is a very stressful time for all of us.
Thanks for the kind words. I agree- it has probably been even more stressful for me than my 4 year cat. I teach kindergarten and this year clearly has been weird.

She has amazed us in the past 3 week with how much better she is doing. We have been giving lots of positive reinforcement. I really do believe that it will be good for her in the long run. Our vet wants us to try Zylkene before going back to meds- It seems to be working and she seems a LOT more comfortable in her own skin. She is climbing more, acting more playful and even adjusting quicker to each of our kitten introduction steps. I honestly thought it would be worse than it is. I just need to accept that she is going to hiss, smack and establish a hierarchy with the babe.

With the possibility of us having a human baby somewhat soon, I am definitely keeping my mind open to other meds. Prozac was not super great for her before (urine retention and zombied her out) but then again, we didn't have her on it for super long.
I believe I had her thyroid levels checked before. No issues there, just an extra special cat who needs a little extra patience :)
 

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I think what has been said before is very true ... try to relax ... your cat isn't at all exhibiting a maximum form of anxiety ... I have two sisters , ne is outgoing, the other takes ages to warm up to people and ... will hide somewhere when new people come over ... This is a part of the cat personality ... She needs her time under furniture or she lays under a comforter sometimes ... she loves boxes and is the cuddle bug among our cats when there are only one or two people around. I think a lot of cats can get overwhelmed and over stimulated and really enjoy their private time somewhere hidden away where they are not disturbed for a while ... and I find that anxious foster cats react best to me completely ignoring them unless they initiate contact ... I do my routine ... I don't spend hours trying to talk to them or coax them from their hiding spot - I try to be predictable and confident and usually that works well... I think change is good for cats - and most cats do enjoy not being alone even if they do not become best friends ... You are doing great ! Laying belly up on the floor is not an anxious pose ;-) ... Your cat is happy ...
 
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lmdisalle

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I think what has been said before is very true ... try to relax ... your cat isn't at all exhibiting a maximum form of anxiety ... I have two sisters , ne is outgoing, the other takes ages to warm up to people and ... will hide somewhere when new people come over ... This is a part of the cat personality ... She needs her time under furniture or she lays under a comforter sometimes ... she loves boxes and is the cuddle bug among our cats when there are only one or two people around. I think a lot of cats can get overwhelmed and over stimulated and really enjoy their private time somewhere hidden away where they are not disturbed for a while ... and I find that anxious foster cats react best to me completely ignoring them unless they initiate contact ... I do my routine ... I don't spend hours trying to talk to them or coax them from their hiding spot - I try to be predictable and confident and usually that works well... I think change is good for cats - and most cats do enjoy not being alone even if they do not become best friends ... You are doing great ! Laying belly up on the floor is not an anxious pose ;-) ... Your cat is happy ...
thank you SO much. Sometimes it just helps to hear this from other cat parents :) I appreciate it more than you know
 
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lmdisalle

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We have been doing short face to face meetings over the last 2 days. Olive has slow blinked baby Fig several times!!!! I am so proud of my girl.
sure there are smacks, hisses and that weird growling noise, but Olive is doing so much better than I thought!!
Baby Fig will submit and then they just stare at each other. Their little hierarchy is forming :)
After the short interactions, we give Olive down time and then give her space until she flips over and acts relaxed.
she has not really smacked my husband or I at all.
 
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lmdisalle

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Nevermind :(
I think we took things too fast and are going to back up today.

maybe too much for Olive for one weekend. She saw the baby out in the living room yesterday.

She was great this morning until I opened up the nursery door. I set up the baby gate and Olive charged the baby as soon as she saw her through the gate :(
Smacked, hissed and then ran away.
Going to back things way up to just letting her hear and smell the baby. She refuses to eat next to the nursery so maybe I can work slowly on that this week to build positive associations.
 

flybear

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hmm- that would not concern me too much ... if it is just a little smack and hiss and - off she goes ... adult cats rarely really get violent with babies ...and it is kind of normal for an adult to discipline babies - and babies are used to their own mothers to smack them, receive a growl or hiss or a pin to the floor when they play wild or bother her ... I tend to let the cats work it out unless I see harm being done ... watch the behavior of the baby ... if baby doesn't seem phased ... it was likely not traumatizing - cats are good communicators ... I am currently integrating two kittens into a pride of 3 - the youngest adolescent loves the babies and they cuddle and play, one of the girls seems completely un-phased but ... there is no great love or interaction ... she is simply ignoring the kittens most of the time and our Nori ... she isn't too happy with the babies but ... co-exists fine ... she hisses and smacks them when they come too close or are in her way ...but she seems otherwise normal ... I found in the past that gates ... bother my cats - they hate being able to see another cat but not ... have direct contact ... the gate method never worked for me- my cats are allowed to smell and interact under the door and then ... pretty much get to spend time in the same room for a while. Some cats do not like to eat in proximity to any cat...- I would not force the issue. My cats hate not to be able to explore a room they previously had access to ... so we swap babies and adults for an hour or so every day because my cats NEED to smell the bathroom lol ... don't be frustrated ... it will all work out ... the fact that your kitty is running up to the " intruder ' means she isn't scared ... that is good !
 
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lmdisalle

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Thanks everyone for the positive words.
We have been letting Fig run around the condo while Olive watches. Olive is definitely not happy. She is smacking baby Fig a great deal when Fig runs near her, but then will calm down, meatloaf and slow blink her. Baby Fig doesnt seem phased at all by this- she will initially submit, but then scamper off down the hall and act like nothing is wrong. Plus we just made sure Olive's nails are cut down again today (also with 1/3 set of kitty caps. all I could put on her before she got sassy with me)
I just hate seeing Olive so mad at us, and see her smack the baby :( I just keep telling myself that cats are resilient. Olive hates change. When we moved into our current place, she lived under the couch for a week. Still, her aggression towards baby Fig freaks me out :(
After she lashes out at Fig, she is more likely to lash out at us. My husband and I are trying our best to ignore this behavior and to give her treats when she is acting calm. My husband is not for putting her back on meds, but I am contemplating it. Need to be patient and see how the next few weeks go....
 
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