Really scared feral cat.. help!

izzyiess

TCS Member
Thread starter
Young Cat
Joined
Nov 16, 2019
Messages
20
Purraise
68
Hello, I really need some advice and I hope someone here can help me out..

3 days ago I saw an post on Facebook about a feral 5 month old male cat. He has been homeless and wild for his whole life. The woman that made the post said she has been feeding him but he really needs a warm home since the winter is coming and that will probably be his death.

My boyfriend and I decided to take the cat in and hopefully train and socialize it. We have had 4 cats before but never a wild cat.

It has been 3 days now since he is here. I made him a special room in the bathroom with his litter box, food and water, and a safe hiding spot. However he choose to sit behind the toilet. It is really scared of everything and if you get too close he will hiss and growl. He eats and drinks very well and he also used his litterbox for peeing and pooping. Which I am really happy about!

So I am wondering in how to try and tame and socialize him. He has not come out of his safe spot by itself when I am in the room. He also freezes and stares at me when I sit on the ground next to him. He does not want to play. I have been petting him a little bit but he is really scared when I do it and when I stop he will start making growling noises. I don't really know what to do. My mother in law says I just need to grab him with a towel en force him on my lap and start petting. But I am not sure if that is the right way.

All help is welcome! I reallt want him to trust me and be comfortable.
 

Norachan

Moderator
Staff Member
Moderator
Joined
May 27, 2013
Messages
32,668
Purraise
32,854
Location
Mount Fuji, Japan
Hi I izzyiess Welcome to TCS.

Five months old is kind of borderline when it comes to socialising a feral cat, but it sounds like he isn't totally feral.

First of all, don't take your MIL's advice. That technique works with young feral kittens, but you shouldn't risk it with a cat that's more than 6 to 8 weeks old. It won't work and you could get badly hurt.

Could the woman who was feeding him handle him at all? If he lets you pet him I guess this isn't the first time he's been touched?

A small safe room is the best way to start. If he comes out of his hiding place to eat and use the litter box then he's getting used to the idea of this being his new home. It's just going to take time.

I suggest you get a Feliway diffuser for the bathroom. These work really well with my cats, who were all feral born.

FELIWAY CLASSIC Diffuser

Take the food away. You need him to associate you with food, so don't free feed him. Go to visit him three or four times a day and take some warmed up wet food for him. Don't stare at him for long periods of time, give him long slow eye blinks then look away again. You could try feeding him wet food from a long handled spoon, or you could try giving him the food and sitting as close as he will allow when he eats.

One of my boys came to live with me when he was four months old and he stayed in a wardrobe for a month, so the fact that this cat will let you pet him after only three days is a great sign.

This will take time, it can't be rushed. But you'll get there in the end.

Jcatbird Jcatbird and shadowsrescue shadowsrescue may have some good advice for you.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #3

izzyiess

TCS Member
Thread starter
Young Cat
Joined
Nov 16, 2019
Messages
20
Purraise
68
Hi I izzyiess Welcome to TCS.

Five months old is kind of borderline when it comes to socialising a feral cat, but it sounds like he isn't totally feral.

First of all, don't take your MIL's advice. That technique works with young feral kittens, but you shouldn't risk it with a cat that's more than 6 to 8 weeks old. It won't work and you could get badly hurt.

Could the woman who was feeding him handle him at all? If he lets you pet him I guess this isn't the first time he's been touched?

A small safe room is the best way to start. If he comes out of his hiding place to eat and use the litter box then he's getting used to the idea of this being his new home. It's just going to take time.

I suggest you get a Feliway diffuser for the bathroom. These work really well with my cats, who were all feral born.

FELIWAY CLASSIC Diffuser

Take the food away. You need him to associate you with food, so don't free feed him. Go to visit him three or four times a day and take some warmed up wet food for him. Don't stare at him for long periods of time, give him long slow eye blinks then look away again. You could try feeding him wet food from a long handled spoon, or you could try giving him the food and sitting as close as he will allow when he eats.

One of my boys came to live with me when he was four months old and he stayed in a wardrobe for a month, so the fact that this cat will let you pet him after only three days is a great sign.

This will take time, it can't be rushed. But you'll get there in the end.

Jcatbird Jcatbird and shadowsrescue shadowsrescue may have some good advice for you.
Thank you so much for the fast reply! The women who fed him could pet him gently while he was eating outside of her house but that was about it. I indeed could pet it too really soft and slowly but he was super uncomfortable and as soon as he starts growling I stop because I don't want to get bitten.

I was going to buy the Feliway diffuser yesterday but the store owner gave me a spray instead because that works better he said? I have used the spray in the whole room but I don't really see any difference. I will go and buy the feliway diffuser next week, maybe that will work.

The food idea sounds good. I will try it out. I also saw some people recommend to give baby food in chicken flavour without any added products to lure them out? Does this work? Or is wetfood the same.
 

Norachan

Moderator
Staff Member
Moderator
Joined
May 27, 2013
Messages
32,668
Purraise
32,854
Location
Mount Fuji, Japan
That's great, if he's used to being touched a little he's not totally feral. You could use something to pet him with, such as a wooden spoon with an old sock or t-shirt tied around it. Use something that smells of you, mingling your two scents together is a way of letting the cat know he is family.

The spray works well, but you have to keep re-spraying every couple of hours. A diffuser continually releases the same smell into the room, so it will work better. I have the spray for when any of mine have to go to the vet. I spray the carrier before I put them in there to keep them calm.

Yes, Gerber's Stage two baby food, plain chicken or turkey, is a good way to befriend a cat. Any wet food warmed up works well, because it smells much more appetising if it's warm.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #5

izzyiess

TCS Member
Thread starter
Young Cat
Joined
Nov 16, 2019
Messages
20
Purraise
68
That's great, if he's used to being touched a little he's not totally feral. You could use something to pet him with, such as a wooden spoon with an old sock or t-shirt tied around it. Use something that smells of you, mingling your two scents together is a way of letting the cat know he is family.

The spray works well, but you have to keep re-spraying every couple of hours. A diffuser continually releases the same smell into the room, so it will work better. I have the spray for when any of mine have to go to the vet. I spray the carrier before I put them in there to keep them calm.

Yes, Gerber's Stage two baby food, plain chicken or turkey, is a good way to befriend a cat. Any wet food warmed up works well, because it smells much more appetising if it's warm.
I just went to lay on the ground while he was sitting in the corner of the toilet. I offered warm wet food carefully but he was not interested at all. I decided to lay really still and wink my eyes slowely at him when I looked at him. He winked slowely back and eventually had his eyes completely closed. I moved my hand towards him carefully every 5 minutes a little more towards him. Eventually I was almost touching him and he sniffed my hand for a second. After that I really carefully pet his head and he did not look as scared as normal. He did not move but he also did not growl or showed weird behavior. I feel like this could work. I took away his food and I am going to feed him 4 times a day. Hopefully in a couple of days he will be a little more comfortable :)
 

di and bob

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Dec 12, 2012
Messages
16,582
Purraise
22,959
Location
Nebraska, USA
Yes, progress, definitely! The fact that you can actually pet him now without growling is amazing in that short amount of time. He isn definitely on his way to being tamed. I know it seems like a long time to you, but cats absolutely HATE any kind of change and he has had a lot of it lately. It will take months to reach a point where he trusts you completely. Just keep things slow and relaxed and he will come along. You might research past posts here on how people tamed their ferals, they give a lot of tips and hope. All the luck!
 

jefferd18

Ms. Jeff's Legacy
Top Cat
Joined
Jul 2, 2019
Messages
2,269
Purraise
2,067
Thank you for taking this little guy in.

What has always worked for me is friendly repetition. When I was befriending my feral cat, Jeff, i would always bring her skim milk and food at the same time every day. I would place the bowls down, tell her in a soft voice that I wouldn't bother her, and then I would turn around and walk away. I had to earn her trust by showing her that I wasn't a threat. It took five and half months before I could reach out and pet her.

I personally think that three days is way too soon to be putting your hands on him, I would allow him to get use to my voice and scent before I attempted to touch him.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #9

izzyiess

TCS Member
Thread starter
Young Cat
Joined
Nov 16, 2019
Messages
20
Purraise
68
Something amazing just happened. I came in to give him is food. First I did the whole process again with putting my hand with him and avoiding eye contact. He sniffed my fingers and gently bit in them. I figured he was probably hungry zo I put some wet food on my hand. He was a a little afraid but after a minute he started eating from my hand!! I fed him like that for about 15 minutes while crying happy tears haha. After that I put his bowl down and he started eating in front of me. This is crazy progress. I can't believe this all happened in one day.
 

fionasmom

Moderator
Staff Member
Moderator
Joined
Jun 21, 2014
Messages
13,125
Purraise
17,362
Location
Los Angeles
He is really making progress and this is such a good sign. He has had some human contact and is aware that you are helping him and that he is much better off. Just continue to do what you are doing and go slowly so you are are taking the cues from him. No matter what, do not grab him with the towel, even if he seems friendlier as it might really upset him.
 

theyremine

TCS Member
Alpha Cat
Joined
Mar 5, 2015
Messages
348
Purraise
439
Location
MA
Your post brought tears to my eyes as it brought me back to the time when I began socializing my Rascal. He was 6 months old when we began. Now he is 6 years and is the biggest lap cat. Your kindness and patience will be rewarded with an amazing bond between you two.
 

tnrmakessense

TCS Member
Alpha Cat
Joined
Sep 22, 2015
Messages
462
Purraise
847
Location
Central Florida
Hello, I really need some advice and I hope someone here can help me out..

3 days ago I saw an post on Facebook about a feral 5 month old male cat. He has been homeless and wild for his whole life. The woman that made the post said she has been feeding him but he really needs a warm home since the winter is coming and that will probably be his death.

My boyfriend and I decided to take the cat in and hopefully train and socialize it. We have had 4 cats before but never a wild cat.

It has been 3 days now since he is here. I made him a special room in the bathroom with his litter box, food and water, and a safe hiding spot. However he choose to sit behind the toilet. It is really scared of everything and if you get too close he will hiss and growl. He eats and drinks very well and he also used his litterbox for peeing and pooping. Which I am really happy about!

So I am wondering in how to try and tame and socialize him. He has not come out of his safe spot by itself when I am in the room. He also freezes and stares at me when I sit on the ground next to him. He does not want to play. I have been petting him a little bit but he is really scared when I do it and when I stop he will start making growling noises. I don't really know what to do. My mother in law says I just need to grab him with a towel en force him on my lap and start petting. But I am not sure if that is the right way.

All help is welcome! I reallt want him to trust me and be comfortable.
My experience with ferals is that you have to let them set the schedule.Well, you don't have to, but they need to learn to trust you so taking things at their pace is the best way to earn their trust. You've made great progress but I wouldn't rush it. I'd sit in the room, or lie near him, but let him come to you. Also, I'd put a small cardboard box in there so he has a hidey place. Cats overall but ferals more than domestic cats need to feel as though they have a place to retreat, that's safe and just theirs.
 

Jcatbird

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Dec 5, 2017
Messages
10,301
Purraise
58,378
Location
United States
You have done a wonderful job! Getting down on the floor was a great move. It is far less intimidating. You have great instincts. You just follow the clues he gives you. As stated, cats don’t like change. Coming in and being with a new human is a big adjustment but since the cat was exposed to that woman you may find it adjusts much better than a true feral. Go as slowly as the kitty needs you to go. A rescue like this will be forever grateful for the safety, love and security you are providing. If you have any questions or concerns, just post back. Lots of people here have worked to socialize ferals and strays. There are tips that can get you past any hiccups. I don’t know where you live but if possible, getting kitty spayed or neutered will be very important before introducing to your other kitties. You’ll need a vet check for things like worms too.
Once the kitty has gotten used to you and is no longer afraid ,as well as having finished any vet care , you can begin introductions to your other kitties. First things first though. For the moment just grow the love. I do suggest you provide a carrier or crate as a place for the kitty to sleep and retreat to whenever frightened. It’s a good habit to start as it can make life much easier in the future. If kitty sees that as a safe place then during vet visits and any need to move the kitty you can can use the carrier as a place for the kitty to feel safe. I use them here as places for naps, play time and for treats. The kitties here can come and goin the carriers as they please.
You are off to a wonderful start! Congratulations and many thanks for rescuing that baby. You area kitty hero! :clap2::redheartpump:
 

Tik cat's mum

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Jul 20, 2019
Messages
2,730
Purraise
8,270
Location
UK
You have done a wonderful job! Getting down on the floor was a great move. It is far less intimidating. You have great instincts. You just follow the clues he gives you. As stated, cats don’t like change. Coming in and being with a new human is a big adjustment but since the cat was exposed to that woman you may find it adjusts much better than a true feral. Go as slowly as the kitty needs you to go. A rescue like this will be forever grateful for the safety, love and security you are providing. If you have any questions or concerns, just post back. Lots of people here have worked to socialize ferals and strays. There are tips that can get you past any hiccups. I don’t know where you live but if possible, getting kitty spayed or neutered will be very important before introducing to your other kitties. You’ll need a vet check for things like worms too.
Once the kitty has gotten used to you and is no longer afraid ,as well as having finished any vet care , you can begin introductions to your other kitties. First things first though. For the moment just grow the love. I do suggest you provide a carrier or crate as a place for the kitty to sleep and retreat to whenever frightened. It’s a good habit to start as it can make life much easier in the future. If kitty sees that as a safe place then during vet visits and any need to move the kitty you can can use the carrier as a place for the kitty to feel safe. I use them here as places for naps, play time and for treats. The kitties here can come and goin the carriers as they please.
You are off to a wonderful start! Congratulations and many thanks for rescuing that baby. You area kitty hero! :clap2::redheartpump:
I couldn't say it any better :rock:
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #16

izzyiess

TCS Member
Thread starter
Young Cat
Joined
Nov 16, 2019
Messages
20
Purraise
68
Update: It is morning here so I just went in his room to see how he was doing. When I layed down and gave him the comfort wink he stood up and stretched his whole body and licked his chest. I felt comfortable enough to pet him right away and he enjoyed it so much! He rubs his whole head against my hand while I pet him and he closes his eyes. Everytime I start petting he makes a small noise. I am not sure if it is a purr. Also, when I lay my hand in front of him he sniffes and he bites it. Most of the time he bites gentle but sometimes it is also a little too hard and I pull away. Do any of you know why he does this? Is it playfull or does he think my hand is food?
 

Norachan

Moderator
Staff Member
Moderator
Joined
May 27, 2013
Messages
32,668
Purraise
32,854
Location
Mount Fuji, Japan
He's probably just testing the waters, seeing if you're going to react or not. Don't pull your hand away when he bites, as this will make it more likely that his teeth will break your skin. You need to gently push your hand back into his mouth and say "Ow" or "No". Not too loud, as you don't want to scare him at this early stage.

Does he have any toys? Some cats really like toys they can chew, you can get soft rubber toys for them. I think he probably doesn't understand why you're putting your hand in front of him and he's wondering if it's an invitation to play. Get him some toys and offer him those instead.

Does he have a name yet? We'd love to see some pictures of him.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #18

izzyiess

TCS Member
Thread starter
Young Cat
Joined
Nov 16, 2019
Messages
20
Purraise
68
He's probably just testing the waters, seeing if you're going to react or not. Don't pull your hand away when he bites, as this will make it more likely that his teeth will break your skin. You need to gently push your hand back into his mouth and say "Ow" or "No". Not too loud, as you don't want to scare him at this early stage.

Does he have any toys? Some cats really like toys they can chew, you can get soft rubber toys for them. I think he probably doesn't understand why you're putting your hand in front of him and he's wondering if it's an invitation to play. Get him some toys and offer him those instead.

Does he have a name yet? We'd love to see some pictures of him.
His name is Otis! The picture was taken when we picked him up so he was really stressed. I did not get the chance to make new pictures of him but I will try today or tomorrow :)

He does have toys. He follows the toys with his eyes but when I get too close he gets scared. Poor thing.

77247460_529113751261159_1442556219100233728_n.jpg
 

CL56

TCS Member
Adult Cat
Joined
Dec 27, 2017
Messages
216
Purraise
614
Location
Florida
His name is Otis! The picture was taken when we picked him up so he was really stressed. I did not get the chance to make new pictures of him but I will try today or tomorrow :)

He does have toys. He follows the toys with his eyes but when I get too close he gets scared. Poor thing.

View attachment 308192

Ohmygosh !
Look at that precious face !
 
Top