Radar, my little mischief, is gone

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epona

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I'm so sorry.... My heart goes out to you. I remember standing there at the desk waiting to pay,right after the vet told me my Yammy had Leukemia, and my other cats most likely too, tears were streaming,especially when my vet hugged me. You are so numb you don't even know people are there....
You can post here whenever you want, especially if you need support or an ear. Some people have like 50-75 pages on here. So don't be shy. It helps to reminisce, and to know others have stood in your shoes. Take care!
Aye, I'd actually forgotten about the bill, insurance covered some of it but I had to pay the excess and a percentage of the bill and the cremation fees - I'd actually strongly recommend that anyone in the same position phone the vet clinic before going to pick up the casket to either pay or make arrangements to pay in installments, just so that there doesn't have to be a discussion about arranging a payment plan when you inevitably turn up in floods of tears at the reception desk
 
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epona

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Nate had this laughing cow soft toy, when you pressed it, it would start going "Moooooo, mooooooo, hahahahhahahaha!" - when Radar was little he managed to set it off doing the noises by himself and I think he wanted to kill it, he was obsessed with the thing for a while, trying to kill it. We were worried that he had such an extreme reaction to it, so took it away (he got overexcited and aggressive very readily) and gave him other things to play with!

I think he was about 5 months old here
EquinoxAug06012.jpg
 
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epona

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He had over £10k of vet bills during the last couple of years of his life, that's not normal (especially since he wasn't ancient), he had periods of bad health, he had a heart murmur since he was young, he had a dormant cat flu (herpesvirus) that reared up whenever he was at a low ebb, I need to focus on the thought that we went above and beyond for him through various sessions of ill-health - not just financially, but nursing him night and day when he was really ill a couple of years back - worth it for the love he gave us, he was happy up until the last day before his death, and we made a merciful decision and cuddled him at the end when it was something that had put him in a very bad way and couldn't be fixed. I shouldn't feel guilty.
 

Antonio65

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I need to focus on the thought that we went above and beyond for him through various sessions of ill-health - not just financially, but nursing him night and day when he was really ill a couple of years back - worth it for the love he gave us, he was happy up until the last day before his death, and we made a merciful decision and cuddled him at the end when it was something that had put him in a very bad way and couldn't be fixed. I shouldn't feel guilty.
This is the definition of LOVE! :redheartpump:

P.S.: I love the word "ancient" in your post :)
 

Tik cat's mum

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Your absolutely right you have nothing to feel guilty about and you definitely went above and beyond. You broke your own heart by helping the pain stop. That's the most caring thing we can do Radar knew how loved he was. Thankyou.
 
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epona

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I finally plucked up courage and looked up some articles in veterinary journals about brain tumours including secondary brain tumours in cats, and was reassured about the diagnosis and prognosis - I know the vet hospital is really good, but there was a slight nagging doubt that maybe there had been some sort of huge mistake (I think this is a fairly usual worry after a sudden loss) - I have contented myself that there wasn't any mistake :( - very sad but a little peace of mind for me.
 

di and bob

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I'm glad you have found a little peace. Knowing what was in store for him may have helped you know you made the right decision. When there is no cure, and nothing but a future full of pain, you know you were right to spare him that. Bless you.....
 
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epona

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Aye, it seems some types of primary brain tumours respond well to treatment in cats if detected early, but the type he had, the location, and that it was probably secondary cancer so it had already metastasized from elsewhere (probably stomach) and grew rapidly means there wasn't any hope of treatment - average survival time at the point he was diagnosed is days or a couple of weeks at most, even with pain relief and steroids to reduce pressure in the brain, they would not have been pleasant days. So I am now - well not happier, that's the wrong word - but less distressed, knowing that there really wasn't anything that could have been done that would have been in any way fair to him.
 
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epona

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He often did this thing where he used to start licking my face or just suddenly poke his nose up against my eye or something daft like that - we used to refer to that as a "splodge" (hence one of his nicknames, splodgkins), he had magnificent whiskers though so it acted as a bit of an early warning system - I'd wake up and move my head away if I felt his whiskers tickling my face!
 

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It will hurt for a long, long time. There is no easy way through grief, try to concentrate on what he brought to your life. Even though it hurts so bad now, the love that he gave you is far stronger. To be remembered and mourned is a great honor, you memorialize him by keeping him in your thoughts and your heart. Love is spiritual, he is not gone, his love is the same......time is the only thing that helps, one day at a time......
 
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