Question of the Day - Tuesday, October 15

cassiopea

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Hello Everyone! Happy Tuesday!














If you could go back in time and meet or see a family member when they were 18 years old, who would it be?







(They wouldn't be aware of who you are, of course)



Gosh I feel like I have too many :lol: But first comes to mind would likely be my mom. She was 18 in 1978 and at the time she was a Field Hockey player, playing for world championship while representing Canada. It would be soooo cool to see what she was like in person at that time! I see pictures and her medals but nevertheless.


Others would include my maternal grandparents (Teens during the war, both were also intellectuals) my great aunt (She was pretty cool, an independent self made woman in the 1950's, with a career, her own money, traveled, with relationships with some really important wealthy men, never wanted to marry or have kids) and my paternal grandmother and her three sisters and two brothers (Lot's of long stories here)



No doubt there are more but will stop there! How about with you folks?
 

Jem

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I think I would want to know my paternal Great Grandmother. She was just of those people who oozed sainthood. Every single person who met her, old, young even toddlers and babies were drawn to her. She was such a special lady, and I know I'm lucky to have known her, even if only for a short time. I believe I was 12 when she passed away.
Even now, I'm still learning about stories about her.

One in particular, was how she truly cared about the homeless and the homeless travelers passing thru. She was known to the impoverished that if you needed a meal or a shower or perhaps clothing, you were always welcomed to her home. It was not uncommon that someone would knock on the door, and she would do something to help. If she was home alone, she didn't let them in but she would at least set them up in the porch and make them a sandwich, while she washed their clothes or something.
What was really cool, was that she was so loved by those who knew of her, that they did keep her a secret unless they knew that the person in need were not a danger to her. Not once (that I know of) did she ever experience someone dangerous, who stole or attacked her in any way. And the local homeless also never took advantage of her generosity.

She is so hard to explain to people, because there is really not one way to do so. She really was just a beautiful person. A precious life that not one person on this earth could resist loving, even if you don't know why you are drawn to her, you just are. You feel important and cared for in her presence and not because she showers you with gifts and compliments, it's just her essence...she was peace and love in a tiny package. I know that sounds super cheesy...but it's true.
 

Sidewinder

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Probably my pop... he left when I was 10 and I never saw him again, it broke my heart and in later years made me terribly angry and antisocial. One day we were tossing a ball back and forth, next day he was gone... no goodbye, no explanation, nothing. To make matters worse, he abandoned the family overseas and left us in dire financial straits, literally poverty-stricken and starving out... my siblings and I all lost weight, and it's no joke to lose 25 or 35 pounds when you only weigh 80 or 90 at the outset. When we finally made it back to the States, we were the poor family in a town full of rich folk... more anger and a lot of hostility were the inevitable results.

Took many years to work through all those emotions, and the lack of fatherly guidance during critical years led to many mistakes, many conflicts, much unwanted drama, the whole nine yards. I finally spoke to a counselor in my late 20s, since the anger was killing me... eating me up from the inside, so to speak. Some wise advice and a voyage of discovery into the realm of Zen Buddhism helped me shed much of that anger and other unwanted baggage. Nevertheless, my life has been a long haul up a steep and slippery grade, and I'm sure opportunities were missed... opportunities to improve my financial standing in the material world.

Spiritually, I feel strong, hammered in the Forge of Life to the hardness of tempered steel, but financial troubles are plaguing me again, and the fake felony out of Kalifornia isn't helping at all in my current job search, though I do have an appointment with a prospective employer later today. My cats and my adherence to certain Buddhist principles keep me going on a daily basis, while my relationship to family members is practically nonexistent... collateral damage from a bitter and protracted divorce wherein all parties suffered. So, to return to the original question, I reckon I'd like to meet my pop when he was younger and still in love with my mom... I saw a photo of them once, taken way back in the day when they were both in their 20s and very much in love. At 18, he may not have met my mom yet, but I could tell him about that photo.

I'd like to tell him about the future, and tell him how badly our family was torn apart when he eventually left. I'd ask him to think twice when he considered abandoning his family, especially his children who would be devastated when he vanished from their lives, never to be seen again. I'd ask him to respect the vows of marriage he made with my mom in the late '40s, after WWII. I'd tell him that while he was still around, he was a great dad... taught us how to be self-reliant and independent in the field, how to camp in style in the wilderness, how to live and travel well on a budget, how to enjoy life as a family when we were all still together. And even though it'd probably be the hardest thing I've ever done, I'd tell him in advance that I forgive him for his bad decision. I never did say that before he died, that's just the way it panned out.

AS ADULTS, WE ALL MAKE CHOICES... AND THOSE CHOICES OFTEN LEAD TO SERIOUS CONSEQUENCES. I KNOW THIS FROM BITTER EXPERIENCE... HAMMER BLOWS IN THE FORGE OF LIFE. ENOUGH SAID, GOTTA GO, HASTA LUEGO!!!
 
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susanm9006

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My paternal great grandmother. She was an 18 year old farm girl in 1899 when she married my 60 year old great grandfather. I know a lot about her but not the reason for her marriage to a man so much older. He was poor, never lived in one place longer than a year or two, and she divorced him after two children and six years of marriage.
 

maggiedemi

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Myself. I'd warn myself about some not so wise decisions. :rolleyes2:
Same here. I'd go back to see myself at 18 and command myself to make different life decisions. I'm not super close with any of my family, so I don't really have an interest in seeing them at a younger age, the time I already spend with them is enough for me. :lol:
 

Mia6

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I, too, would like to go back in time and show a film to me about what will happen if I don't make some changes.

Also, I would like to meet my maternal grandfather who immigrated from Lithuania in the early 1900s. He worked for
a czar and left quite suddenly. No other members of his family ever immigrated. My mother told me there was something
going on there that they were never told about. I would like to watch him leave, etc. I would like to ask him why he beat his
children so badly. My mother was the only one who wasn't.
 

artiemom

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I think I would like to visti my dad. From what I understand, he had a tuff life.. but I do to relly know the 'real' him.. He was a sweetie.. so kind.. so unlike his dad, brother and his sisters..

I think at the age of 18, he may have been a bit of a street kid... It would be interesting to see/meet.

Or my mom. I do not know much about her earlier life, except she was a tomboy..

It would be good to see where she lived.. on a farm, in the city.. during the depression.
 

MoochNNoodles

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Any one of my grandparents or maybe my Great-Grandparents. I've seen pictures of my Grandpa. He was so handsome. (Most Handsome of his senior class actually. :lol: ) He met my Grandma not long after but she didn't want anything to do with him. :lol: They didn't go to the same school as children but they did grow up in the same city. The pictures of my Gram aren't portrait quality. I want to know what SHE looked like (and acted like!) to be able to play hard to get with one of the hottest guys in town. :flail: Although knowing Gram; that might have been the turn off. She wouldn't put up with someone she thought might be full of himself or with wandering eyes. ;)

My Great-Grandparents would be interesting to meet just because then I'd know more about where i've come from. I know my Gram's mother was a maid in a wealthy man's home in Poland and all she could talk about was coming to America and how great it would be. Grandpa's family were sheep farmers in Italy. My other Grandmother's family were also in some kind of farming in Italy but I don't know what kind of work my other Grandpa's family did; just that they lived in Nebraska. It would probably be humbling to know where i've come from like that.
 

JamesCalifornia

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Probably my pop... he left when I was 10 and I never saw him again, it broke my heart and in later years made me terribly angry and antisocial.
~ You obviously are much stronger and resilient than most. Would not be surprised if you end up self-employed and doing fine.
Best wishes to you ... :vibes:
 

Mother Dragon

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It would have to be my parents - individually. They were so different, although I never really knew my dad because he was gone most of my life and died when I was 10. There's so much we'll never know - what they experienced growing up, their dreams, their lives, their beliefs and values. I often wonder what I inherited from them, how I'm different, what they would think of life now. My daughter isn't interested, and I doubt she'll ever have the same curiosity I have.
 
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