Question of the Day, Sunday the 9th of May, 2021

Mia6

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Hello and Happy Sunday and Happy Mother's Day to those who celebrate it today. I know there are other countries who celebrate it a different day so Happy Mother's Day to them as well!

Some of us have moms who are no longer with us and some of us have moms who they will be with today.

Share a special memory(ies) about your mother, grandmother, aunt, anyone who you were and are close with.

My mother and I loved movies. I can't even count the number we watched together. One of my fave memories is us discussing The Godfather Part II. I felt Michael should have given Fredo a pass and she did not. She would say, "Fredo was warned and he got what he deserved." My mother was a kind, gentle, funny woman. She had that dry Brit wit and I miss her every day.


What about you?
 
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maggiedemi

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I don't have any good memories of my mother. But I can share one of my grandmother! She used to take us to garage sales, that was her thing, she would get the newspaper and we would go to all of them, spend the whole day. Her house was always filled with good food and animals, and I could spend time with my cousins. ❤
 

di and bob

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I can remember her tending her garden and teaching me how to cook. She had a sense of humor and always scolded my dad for cussing. She is in assisted living now, I have lost the woman I remember to dementia, she still remembers me, and she is happy and that is all that counts. I miss the strong woman she was......
 

NY cat man

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Michele's mother passed in 2001, at age 74, and what I remember best about her was how she treated me more like a son than a son-in-law.
My mother passed in 2008, at age 92, and while she was strict with us kids she gave us direction in our lives, and made sure that we knew right from wrong.
I only knew my paternal grandmother, who passed in 1990, at age 101. She stood 5-feet-nothing, but she was tough as a boot. I remember how she was discovered on a ladder trimming a tree with a chain saw- in her 80s, no less. She always had a large kitchen garden, which she plowed herself with her tractor, at least until she finally sold the farm. She was much like my father; she had an independent streak, and when she couldn't be any more, it was only a matter of time.
 

Jem

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I can't really write just one good memory. But what I can write is that Mom always makes things special. You always know she has thought of you. Either by making sure that she has your favorite drink on hand for visits, or putting that extra effort to make holidays magical. There have been times where she gave me something relatively insignificant like a pencil because it was pretty and she thought I'd like it. (I like office/school supplies...yeah, weirdo) Or as kids for Easter, she made muddy bunny foot prints across the kitchen floor leading to our little baskets or goodies to make it believable that the Easter bunny was there. Last Easter, during lockdown, she snuck into my yard a 5 am to hide Easter eggs in the back yard for my husband and I to find when we woke up.
I have special memories with all the important women in my life. When I think of my paternal grandmother, I think of going to camp. When I think of my maternal grandmother, my fondest memories are playing card and board games. She even taught me how to play poker...she always had a jar of pennies on hand for betting! My Great Grandmother, who most of the time was bed ridden would always ask us to get her her purse when we went to say hello. She would be in her room, praying with her rosary...she always had her rosary to pray with....So we would get her her purse and she would give us a quarter or a loonie (Canadian dollar coin) when we got a bit older. She was the sweetest most generous (in all ways) woman.
I'm pretty lucky that all the important women in my life were great people.
 

rubysmama

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Nothing specific comes to mind, other than that my mother almost never complained about anything, even when she ended up with so many health issues at the end. She appreciated everything people did for her, and her caregivers even said that Mom would thank them when they gave her a needle. I only wish I was as accepting of what life throws at me, as she was.

She's been gone since 2012, and I still miss her so much.

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game misconduct

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always remember the unconditional love my mom gave to me. no matter how much trouble i got into no matter how many times my own choices landed me in jail she still loved me no matter the dissapointments i gave her.also remember mothersday 2014 how happy she was when i brought her a big vase of roses while she was in the hospital she died later that night with my family all there
 

Maria Bayote

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This is the first Mother’s Day without my mom. I grew up mostly away from her, but when we were together she knew how to make most of those times she was not. I remember her happy face each time she’d introduce me to a new rescue, or a new pet. Her face would light up around dogs and cats and even ducks and pigs. Until this day I remember her words to me each time I was so down and out, “Fight your wars with dignity and pride. Don’t ever let them see you broken.”

i wish it was easy, though.
 

neely

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I think one of my favorite memories of my mom was as our Brownie troop co-leader. She loved my sister and I very much but was strict. Education was very important to her and growing up I remember she made us do our homework or study for a test before we could go out and play. When she showed another side of her personality it made me so happy, e.g. she was a good dancer and loved to dance at weddings, special occasions, etc. :hearthrob:
 

MonaLyssa33

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I'm not really on speaking terms with my mom lately, which is honestly not something I ever saw happening, but COVID happened, I started reading books on emotional immature parents (mainly to learn about my dad) and then my sister and I came to the realization that our mom has been manipulating us our entire lives and is more than likely a narcissist. I have good memories of her, but it's been tainted with doubt about whether what I am remembering is actually what happened. It's been a messed up year, that's for sure.
 

Tik cat's mum

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Unfortunately I don't have many memories because I was 8 when I lost my mum. But one of thing's I remember is getting home from school with my brothers and the smell as we walked in the house, we would all rush into the kitchen to see what mum had been baking. And mum saying don't touch yet it's to hot panicking we would get burnt as we made a grab fot what was cooling. I still love the smell of fresh bread now.
 

Tobermory

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Music. Books. Cats. That was my mom.

Mom sang like she breathed: completely unconsciously. She majored in music in college, and she sang all the time. I remember asking her one time what the song was she was singing. She paused, obviously in thought, and then said, “I was singing?” She was made of music.

One of my earliest memories is of her taking me to the library. We’d each come home with a huge stack of books. She read constantly. It was so hard to see her struggle to read toward the end of her life. With her short-term memory loss, she couldn’t remember what she had read by the time she reached the end of the page.

And cats. Mom always said she didn’t like cats when I was growing up. “I don’t want them rubbing around my legs,” she said. I went to summer school between my junior and senior years of college so I could graduate early, and I got a tortie kitten, Sara (even though my parents had told me I couldn’t have one :lol: ). When I brought Sara home for the first time, my mom spent the whole time cuddling and spoiling her. And when I left to go back to school, Mom tried to talk me into giving Sara to her. “Ha!” I said. “Get your own cat!” So she did. She and Dad adopted a stray that showed up in their yard, and they had and adored cats for the next 40 years.

Mom died three years ago this month. She was 95 and cute as a button ‘til the end. Here she is in her 90s, working a crossword puzzle.:hugs:
F3F28159-2CF6-4AFE-BE7A-400637144ABA.jpeg
 

Silver Crazy

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My mother was as sweet as when my father wasnt around but if he was there she just faded into the background and turned into frenemy. My father was a religious fanatic and life with him was a constant tension that when alone with mother she was able to defuse your wishes to beat him over the head with a baseball bat.
She died about 9 years ago a couple of months after my father.
She just turned life off when he died so she must have loved him dearly after all his faults.
 

gilmargl

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My mother was unfortunately not a good mother to her 6 children. I and one of my brothers did best out of the situation. I, perhaps because I was the eldest and left home as soon as possible and my brother, being brilliant, won a scholarship to a boarding school, which was not much fun, but offered more than a childhood spent at home. Unfortunately, the other siblings suffered. They were left alone to their fate when their older brothers and sisters left home. They still haven't really recovered.

The things I remember best are her taunts, which make me laugh today, but certainly didn't then. But, she knew no better.

"If you are one of the most intelligent in your class, I can't imagine how stupid the others must be!"

"If there are 2 ways of doing anything, why do you always choose the wrong one!" (For instance, when she'd written something rather ambiguous on the shopping list and I'd made the wrong decision and come home with something she didn't want).

"You haven't got the sense you were born with!"

"If you don't stop crying, I'll give you something to cry about!" At 6 years old, when the three of us had sores (?) and were being treated with some lotion which really hurt, I decided I was never, ever going to cry again. And I didn't - until at least 15 years later.

Once she was threatening to leave, and I was pleading with her to stay. I was about 12 years old, and probably scared of having to take on the responsibility for the 3 kids, playing in the back yard and a baby in a pram, when my dream was to do well enough at school, win a scholarship and escape to university. Afterwards I was reprimanded by my siblings who said "For goodness sake, let her go!"

But we were all dutiful children. We may have spread out all over the world but she always received 6 cards on or close to Mother's Day as well as flowers, outings and presents! She died 3 years ago at 98 years old. She was also a dragon in various Care Homes, right up until her death. :)🐲
 

Willowy

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I started reading books on emotional immature parents (mainly to learn about my dad) and then my sister and I came to the realization that our mom has been manipulating us our entire lives and is more than likely a narcissist.
Something like this, but not entirely. My mom is. . .complicated. When we were young, she was very emotionally immature and at least something adjacent to narcissistic. Everything had to be about her and go her way, if not she'd have a meltdown, she'd cry and slam doors and threaten to have CPS come pick us up because she was such a failure of a mother (don't do this; this will severely screw up your kids mentally). She was easily frustrated, had a nasty temper, had no patience, would chase us, throw us against the walls, smack the crap out of us, and then deny she did any of that. She still won't admit she hit us that much. Fortunately we had a bathroom that was bolted from the inside, my middle brother and I spent a lot of time in there hiding from her, otherwise it's very possible she would have killed or badly injured us (him at least; he's just like her and therefore drives her crazy).

The house was always an absolute wreck; she's definitely a hoarder. I used to dream of having the floor cleared so we could play with Hot Wheels. But not as bad as some hoarders, because she never left stuff like food or dirty diapers lying around, it was never unsanitary, just cluttered.

But she was also a lot of fun and liked to do "kid stuff" like skip and sing at the zoo or draw pictures with chalk or all kinds of fun things. My friends all much preferred playing at my house because she didn't care if we made a mess, let us dance and sing at the top of our lungs, jump on the beds, anything goes! And she never lashed out at us when guests were around so I was ok with that.

My youngest brother is what tamed her the most. He's on the spectrum, what would have been called Asperger's back when that was a thing. He would absolutely freak out if she raised her voice or got aggressive or anything. I guess when your 1-year-old baby is shrieking in terror under the table and hyperventilates when you try to touch him, it gets through your head that your behavior isn't the best. Too bad he's 7 years younger than I am! Could have used him a little sooner. And I should give her props for changing her behavior for him; a lot of parents would have smacked the crap out of him until he was too scared to scream and he would have shut down, like what happens to a lot of autistic kids, or at least used to.

Now she's matured, somewhat. She has more control of her temper and can cope better with frustration. She's judgmental and fundamentalist and threatens to disown us for various things (her religion encourages disowning family members). But when it comes right down to things actually happening, she's supportive and surprisingly open-minded. Like my brother got his girlfriend pregnant, and neither of them told their parents about it until it was undeniably obvious. And instead of getting mad at him my mom was like "aww, a baby!" so we can't even count on her to be judgemental at the obvious times, lol. And she has supported his children all the way. She even watches the youngest while his parents are at work, and she's so patient with him.

I now realize that she has severe untreated ADHD, plus she was depressed when we were kids, plus she was raised in an abusive home and was at least better than her parents, so that explains a lot. So I try to relate to her as an adult and not think of the past too much. But dang, that kind of hypervigilance when you're tiny sure screws up your head.

TL;DR: It's complicated. She's complicated.
 
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lizzie

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My grandmother and mother both loved to cook.I learned a lot from both.I can remember as a child hanging out in the kitchen with Grammy,and it seems like I never shut up and was always asking questions!I can recall many a marathon phone call with Mom as I got older and moved away and we were always talking food,recipes,cooking magazines we'd read,pots and pans and techniques.Miss those so much!
 

MoochNNoodles

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My parents grew up in the same neighborhood so I have been able to know my grandmothers both well. My mom and I are close too.

Mom was single from when I was 2-12. One year we took a long car trip to visit several friends if hers in Pennsylvania and Maryland. I was her navigator in the front seat. Of course this was before gps or mapquest or anything like that. Somehow on the way home we got off track somewhere and ended up crossing some bridge that seemed insanely high and one of those grate materials; not paved. Sort of like a drawbridge. I have no idea where that was. I’d like to see it as an adult to know if its as scary as I remember it. :lol:

My mom’s mom was amazing. We were very close. She always smelled like Shalimar and mint gum. She was the best cook and baker but known for her apple and rhubarb pies. All of us grandkids learned to roll pie dough with her.

My dads mom is 102 now. She was a spitfire! My cousins and I fondly remember when she would be on her kitchen phone with the super long cord gossiping with her sisters calling people “sob’s” as if we couldn’t hear from the other room. She loved to sing and hum while she was in the kitchen but she couldn’t carry a tune at all. “Old MacDougal had a farm” and “Humpity Stumpity” were her favorite umm... remixes?:lol2: She LOVED QVC until my Aunt took her credit card away. David Venable was her favorite host.:redheartpump:
 
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