Question of The Day. Sunday 28th of November

Elphaba09

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Double volcano for people who hit babies.

I'm super cranky about the wedding industrial complex in general, let's call that my pet peeve, lol. But, yeah, I see advice columns about how someone's bridezilla/groomzilla "friend" wants them to cover up a tattoo or dye their hair or lose weight or whatever, and I just wonder WHY they'd even ask them to be in their wedding. I don't get it, especially after they already asked them to be an attendant.
Requests like these are why I have been in so few weddings! My eldest sister asked me to dye my hair either brown or blonde for her wedding so I did not clash with the bright pink dresses. A "friend" of mine also asked me to dye my hair. I was also asked to lose weight ("just" 10-15 lbs) despite that "friend" knowing I had eating and body issues because of my odd shape. (It was before I was diagnosed with lipedema.) My husband was bullied into cutting his hair for one of his brothers' weddings. It made his depression worse. His second brother and his fiancee wanted him to shave his sideburns and cut his hair. Their wedding was roughly a month before our own wedding. To be fair, they did not know about our wedding, but even after they found out, they still made comments about how his ponytail made their pictures look trashy. The fiancee-now-wife in question even said that a haircut would have made us look less like 'lowlife garbage people" in our own wedding pictures. (I dislike her a great deal.)His third brother did not request anything like that.
 

Lari

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Requests like these are why I have been in so few weddings! My eldest sister asked me to dye my hair either brown or blonde for her wedding so I did not clash with the bright pink dresses. A "friend" of mine also asked me to dye my hair. I was also asked to lose weight ("just" 10-15 lbs) despite that "friend" knowing I had eating and body issues because of my odd shape. (It was before I was diagnosed with lipedema.) My husband was bullied into cutting his hair for one of his brothers' weddings. It made his depression worse. His second brother and his fiancee wanted him to shave his sideburns and cut his hair. Their wedding was roughly a month before our own wedding. To be fair, they did not know about our wedding, but even after they found out, they still made comments about how his ponytail made their pictures look trashy. The fiancee-now-wife in question even said that a haircut would have made us look less like 'lowlife garbage people" in our own wedding pictures. (I dislike her a great deal.)His third brother did not request anything like that.
Yikes! I haven't been in that many weddings, but I'm not surprised that people go crazy in search of their big day. I did 'require' hair and make-up (that I paid 100% for) mostly because I needed to guarantee a certain number of clients to have them come to my apartment but let them do whatever styles they wanted. My one friend apologized for being pregnant but I was honestly just glad she was far enough along (about 4 months) that she was over her terrible morning sickness, and if she'd pulled out I would have understood.

It's just not worth it to ruin relationships for a vision.

That said, it is a bit of a guilty pleasure to watch things like Bridezillas where they're that terrible. I enjoy a good train wreck, even though I know it's objectively horrible.
 

maggiedemi

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Telling her I get she's frustrated I won't let her chew on the electrical cord while not letting her do it.
I don't blame you. That is the one thing I will not allow Demi & Maggie to mess with. Electrical cords are just too dangerous- electrocution or fire! I told them NEVER, Absolutely Not!

I was also asked to lose weight ("just" 10-15 lbs) despite that "friend" knowing I had eating and body issues
Oh heck no! I doubt I would even go to the wedding after that. Never speak about my weight. 😲
 

MoochNNoodles

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I'm sure I will fail many times, but I'm trying to hold space and validate J's feelings while also holding boundaries. Telling her I get she's frustrated I won't let her chew on the electrical cord while not letting her do it. I was not very patient as a teacher, and with her I just want to do so much better.
Good parents fail and show their children how to apologize. 2 kids can grow up in the same family under the same conditions and still turn out very different. Learning to give each other grace is a really valuable skill.
People clapping when the plane lands.
People do that!? I can't recall it on any flights I've been on. Maybe I missed it. That's like saying "Yay! You did your job!" :dunno:
Requests like these are why I have been in so few weddings!
I will never understand why people would ask someone to be in their wedding that they can't accept as they are. DH's best friend from growing up always had long hair. A typical drummer look from those days. We were shocked when he got here with short spiky hair! Thankfully I've never heard that he cut it for us because we definitely did not ask. It was longer again by his own wedding a couple years later. We got married so young it was bad enough asking guys to rent a tux and girls to buy dresses.

The only awkward part with the hair (if you can call it that) is that a diverse bridal party meant half my bridesmaids couldn't use the same salon so we didn't all get our hair done together. I think I was the only white person in one of those friends weddings a few months later and I went to a salon by myself. It was no big deal. :dunno: I guess someone might notice in the pictures from the salon; but not at the church. :dunno:
 
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Willowy

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People do that!? I can't recall it on any flights I've been on. Maybe I missed it. That's like saying "Yay! You did your job!" :dunno:
Ha, I always heard about it but never experienced it, until one flight I was on, we had to go through a storm so there was CRAZY turbulence, everyone was terrified, and then when we landed everybody clapped, but, well, we felt like clapping then! I think it would be annoying for a routine flight though.
 

mani

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I'm one of those 'can't stand slurping/open mouthed chewing etc' almost to the point of misophonia
I've been like it most of my life and really have to work to control it.
I have a friend who insists on ordering coffee as hot as it can possibly be (will send it back if it's not not enough) and then slurps it to cool it down. I just walk away. :lol:
 

Willowy

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I'm one of those 'can't stand slurping/open mouthed chewing etc' almost to the point of misophonia
My dad can't stand the sound of silverware clinking on chinaware, to the point of misophonia. And now my nephew is the same. So my mom bought reusable plasticware maybe 10 years ago, and that seems to have worked. Wish she would have figured it out before her own kids developed complexes from being snapped at at every meal for not being able to avoid clinking :/. But I'm not entirely sure they had reusable plasticware back in the '80s anyway.
 

DownTheLane

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I'm so nitpicky about a lot of stuff, people must hate me😂
But typically just not following the rules, how small they might be. People not wearing their masks when it's store policy, speeding, littering, kids climbing stuff that specifically specify not to climb them. It makes me borderline aggressive. Like how hard is it to read? To comprehend?? To listen?!
 

Willowy

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Sure they did. Melamine has been around since the 1950s.
Yeah, I realized that once I went to bed, lol. I mean the utensils; currently they use ceramic dishes and plastic utensils. But I do remember some melamine plates, maybe that was her early attempt at accommodating everyone.
 

Willowy

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Hmm, she must not have thought of it then. I think the only reason the solution was discovered is because she bought some plastic baby spoons and forks when the grandkids were little and my dad started using them too.

It also just occurred to me that's the reason he has always used chopsticks to eat salad, even before we moved to Japan, lol. I've never met anyone else in the US who eats salad with chopsticks.
 

maggiedemi

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dirty toenails
Ha! I noticed how hard it is to keep the toilnails clean on my big toes. I try to file down the sides with a nail file. I don't know how they get so dirty, since I don't do dirty work. Maybe from my dark colored socks.
 
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