Question of the Day, Sunday 17 November, 2019

[Graceful-Lily]

If you don't have one, do you want one? or tell us about an ex or one who is longer with you. If you fancy someone where would you like to go on your first date?

I definitely wouldn't mind having a significant other in my life. I just haven't had the best luck romantically. The boys I've dated tend to be... very carefree and inconsiderate to my concerns/feelings about whatever problem may arise in the relationship. Some have just not been good people in general.

I have a few examples:
1. I met a guy on this social app thingy (I don't know how to describe it). Basically, you can connect with people in your area and make friends. I think he messaged me first, I don't remember. We both liked art and bonded over that. He asked me to come over. Which I did, we had both stated before that neither of us were in a relationship. Long story short, he lied. He had a girlfriend. She was just out of the city (in a whole other province if I remember correctly). I'm not sure what he expected but I guess when I got to his house, he felt guilty so he eventually told me about her. Which put me in a very uncomfortable situation. He then told me that she was upset and his phone kept blowing up (I'm assuming his girlfriend was upset with me being there) so I left. I eventually cut all contact with him.

2. Met this guy on another social app thingy. He had a drinking problem he refused to acknowledge and would drunk text me. When I'd ask about it, he would always say he had little to no recollection of the text or sending it. He was a very nice person but I just couldn't get over the drinking. He was getting hammed almost 3 times a week and went out frequently with "the boys". There was always alcohol in the house, almost always a drink in hand. I didn't know how to bring it up because I was afraid I'd offend him. Since he never treated me poorly, I just allowed it. But he started to change eventually and I couldn't take it anymore so I told him that we shouldn't see each other anymore.

3. This particular gentleman, I met in college. He took advantage of me emotionally and physically and it took me months to realize that. The last straw was when he cheated on me and told me that he was going to be seeing the other girl instead. I cut all contact with him. But he messaged me after he thought I had "cooled down". I told him to kick rocks.

I haven't dated anyone in a whole year now because of all these negative experiences. I don't doubt that there are good men out there, I'm just not finding them. I'm also told that I think too much. Multiple guys have told me this. I like planning ahead - I don't see the harm in that.

 

[aliceneko]

I'm still yet to have my first date, I'm only 20 so I hope I still have some time to meet "the one". My parents (long since separated, they never married) met at a house party though, haha. The "personal" love story that is my favourite is that of my grandfather's cousin who met her husband when she was 13 and he was 16 at a bellringing class at their local church. They were married for just over 60 years until he sadly passed away at the beginning of this year.

 

[kashmir64]

Never been married, don't want to be that way. As for my any of my exes (sp?), they are an ex for a reason.

 

[Mia6]

they are an ex for a reason.

Yep!!!

 

[MoochNNoodles]

I met my DH when he was taking out the trash. He was wearing khakis, a white undershirt and a bucket hat. And it was dark out. I wasn't super impressed. This was in March of 2001.

I'd gone to a wedding out of state with a mutual friend. We took my car because his wasn't reliable. It took us hours to get there and to get home; so it had been one really long day when we pulled up to the building they lived in. Our friend said "Hey it's ___!" and hopped out. (He seriously had too much energy after that long of a day!) Meanwhile I just wanted to get home so I climbed over the center console of my Plymouth Neon (before Dodge bought them), waved with one hand and drove away. I swear I heard "That's the man your going to marry" as I drove away. I put that out of my mind (I wasn't super impressed remember? ) and didn't think of it again till nearly a year later when we'd been dating for about 5 months.

After I met DH in March I didn't see him again for a few months until he bought a place fo his own and our mutual friend became his roommate. We started circulating in the same group of friends and I started noticing him more and got a crush that summer. But one of my good friends had recently broken up with a bit of a toxic ex and she liked him too. So I remember thinking she deserved to be with someone who would appreciate her. Plus she was so pretty. So I didn't flirt or anything; just put it out of my mind. A month later my friend decided to not just go back to her ex, but to get married (they are divorced now).

I don't know if DH was ever aware of her short lived crush on him. But it was months later before another girl we knew got sick of us and just sat us down and embarrassed the heck out of us saying "You like her and she likes you so just ASK HER OUT ALREADY!!!" But in a lot more words. Many many words. She enjoyed her rant at our expense. It was soooo embarrassing. DH was blushing so hard he was purple. (He's a redhead.)


Anyway. That was 18 years ago last week. The rest is history.


Oh; our first date was at The Olive Garden. And we got seated next to a table full of his co-workers. One I knew.

 

[MonaLyssa33]

I've never been in a relationship, unfortunately. I've gone on first dates but rarely any second dates. It's frustrating. I rarely make eye contact with people (but I'm really good at faking it) and that isn't something I can change, so I never know if someone shows an interest in me because I'm not looking or paying attention.

 

[Maria Bayote]

I have been into abusive relationships in the past, so when I came here I was no longer planning to meet anyone. But this fellow office worker showed me kindness, and shared my love for animals.

We have been together since then. Married for 13 years.
He still treats me the same way as the first day he met me. Such a sweet and caring fella.

 

[Willow's Mom]

I'm "seeing someone". We met at a park.

 

[NY cat man]

I've never been in a relationship, unfortunately. I've gone on first dates but rarely any second dates. It's frustrating. I rarely make eye contact with people (but I'm really good at faking it) and that isn't something I can change, so I never know if someone shows an interest in me because I'm not looking or paying attention.

Don't feel bad. I was scared spitless when it came to asking Michele to go steady, and again when I asked her to marry me, and I almost didn't ask both times. Where I got the nerve, I don't know still.

 

[Mia6]

He still treats me the same way as the first day he met me. Such a sweet and caring fella.

Wowza, he must be some amazing man.

 

[Mia6]

I've never been in a relationship, unfortunately. I've gone on first dates but rarely any second dates. It's frustrating. I rarely make eye contact with people (but I'm really good at faking it) and that isn't something I can change, so I never know if someone shows an interest in me because I'm not looking or paying attention.

Do you want to be with a fella? You could try to change it. You're lovely and any guy would be lucky to have you.

 

[jcat]

We briefly lived in the same university dorm 40 years ago. I was moving in, and he was about to move out. Our first date was at a local pub where a live band was playing (he's very into music). We got married 9 months later.

 

[MonaLyssa33]

Do you want to be with a fella? You could try to change it. You're lovely and any guy would be lucky to have you.

I want to, but being autistic, eye contact is really hard for me. Most of the time I'm not even aware that I'm not making eye contact. Then when I try to focus on it, I become stiff and (even more) awkward.

 

[Mia6]

I want to, but being autistic, eye contact is really hard for me. Most of the time I'm not even aware that I'm not making eye contact. Then when I try to focus on it, I become stiff and (even more) awkward.

I bet if you tell your next date that you have probs with eye contact they'll be cool about it.

 

[rgwanner]

We met through a dating service. This was pre internet. You signed up. got a "glamour shot" and bio in a book. My husband said he wanted to meet me, I got the message and agreed and we had our first date at a seafood restaurant. We were together 10 years, and got married 20 years ago. ( We wanted to buy a house and thought it would be easier if we were married). That doesn't sound romantic, but he got down on his knee and asked me formally and everything.

 

[Mia6]

That doesn't sound romantic, but he got down on his knee and asked me formally and everything.

Awwww that IS romantic!!