Progress integrating a third cat - what are the residents saying?

kghia

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Hi all!

I completely forgot I even made this account after adopting our first 2 cats (referred to as "the residents" in my post) years ago. They are littermates, bonded pair, and we've had them since they were 10 weeks old. They're almost 8.5 years now.

We recently adopted a 7 month old kitten. We hadn't planned on it, but I met her while volunteering at the shelter I've been with for 2 years. She came to the shelter semi-feral but her foster family did an excellent job socializing her - she's quite affectionate, sits on our laps, head butts our hands and is loud and obnoxious when she wants something. Her 2 littermates were still quite shy when we adopted Aberdeen and weren't socialized as well, for whatever reason. I've attached some photos so you can see Rosie (snowshoe), Sammie (black cat) and Aberdeen (tabby, the newcomer).

It's been almost 4 weeks since we've had Aberdeen. She cannot STAND spending the whole day in her safe room anymore, which is my husband's office, so for the most part we let her out during the day since my "office" is on the main floor, where the cats mostly hang out during the day. She would meow nonstop if we even closed my husband's office door, so now we just keep it open. We've been doing this since Monday of this week. I mainly just want to check with the group that the residents' residual hissing and growling is normal, and whether you have any suggestions of how to make the transition better.

Disclaimer: The post is long, so I thank you in advance for reading it, and have split it into some sections for easier reading.


Rosie - Background
I would say the integration process has gone fairly well. Rosie has pretty much accepted and tolerates her - they have touched noses at least a dozen times and the hissing is becoming less frequent, although Aberdeen is now becoming bolder and stepping up her interactions with Rosie so we've been hearing it a little more. We worked to introduce Aberdeen to Rosie first because we know Rosie is much more chill. I have heard Rosie hiss maybe all of 3 times in the 8 years we've had her, before Aberdeen arrived.

Sammie - Background
Sammie, on the other hand, is a more standoffish cat. She's strongly bonded to Rosie so those get along very well, but she is definitely more hissy in general (even before Aberdeen). We knew she would take time and would've chosen to keep Aberdeen away for longer, but we also know that without the exposure she would likely never come around since we would just be delaying the inevitable adjustment period. For example - if we bathe Rosie, even if it's a quick splash with water, she will not recognize her for 2 weeks. Rosie will try to cuddle and Sammie would growl and hiss. Over time, she would still growl and hiss but tolerate the cuddling, until over time Rosie's smell goes back to normal. So we never separate them because it never became aggressive or violent.

Another time, we used this antibiotic wipe on Rosie as she had pulled out a bit of fur and cut herself. Sammie sounded like she was possessed by some otherworldly creature and would growl and hiss at the SIGHT of Rosie. We didn't know what was wrong until I remembered her sensitivity to Rosie's smell, carefully washed off the area where I used the wipe (without "contaminating" the rest of Rosie's fur and cause something worse!), kept them separate for a day and everything returned to normal.

Aberdeen + Rosie - The hissing
There was some hissing before with just sight and proximity but now Aberdeen can approach Rosie without any incident for the most part.
The only times I really hear Rosie hissing are if Aberdeen runs towards/past Rosie (when she's playing), if Aberdeen accidently smacks Rosie on the face (when she's playing) if Aberdeen spends TOO much time very close to Rosie, if Aberdeen tries butting Rosie's face too many times with her face.
Rosie's hiss will usually follow with a return to normal like she never hissed, or she would get up and walk away.

I read it as more of "that's enough!" or "quit it!" and think that's probably normal and iwll likely continue until Aberdeen learns some manners. Would you agree?

Aberdeen + Sammie - The hissing and growling

Sometimes Sammie's actions confuse me when she's hissing and growling. Some examples:
- Sammie appears to have NO ISSUES with Aberdeen's scent. I have swapped their bedding multiple times and Sammie also sleeps in the round bed I placed on the floor for Aberdeen so that she can be close to her sisters without being beside them (show in one of the photos below)
- Sometimes Aberdeen can walk past Sammie with no hissing or growling, other times Sammie will hiss and/or growl even though Aberdeen in more than a few feet away. If Aberdeen goes right next to Sammie when Sammie's not looking, she won't get hissed at.
- If my husband is holding Aberdeen and sits next to Sammie, there's usually no hissing or growling.
- I just witnessed an event where Aberdeen got to where the orange cushion is on our red couch (in photo below), Sammie is exactly where she is in the photo. Aberdeen's done this before without incident. This time, Sammie hissed at her, hopped onto the arm rest, sniffed Aberdeen, hissed softly, sniffed again, hissed, and hopped off the couch.
- I've had all 3 lined up or close together below - if there's something to distract them like a toy (which is challenging because Sammie is lazy and not very playful) or treats, they can stay pretty close together for a long time with only a few hisses.

We do have a baby gate separating the red couch room + kitchen from the rest of the house. If Aberdeen becomes too much for the residents, or if we need to separate them because Aberdeen won't leave after being hissed at by Sammie, we'll close the gate.

I'm not quite understanding Sammie's hisses and growls. We know she isn't as far along as Rosie - but do we need to dial back their interactions? Or just keep letting this controlled exposure continue? She has whapped Aberdeen a few times on the head in the past few days, but she's never had the arched back, bared teeth, fur sticking up, or any other sort of aggressive body language. Just hissing and growling.

We know we're still in early stages of integration and the goal is peaceful coexistence, but just want to see we're not moving things TOO fast (as they'll be difficult to dial back, Aberdeen not being able to tolerate staying in her safe room except overnight) or if there's anything else we can try to make things easier for Sammie.

Other things to note: Aberdeen is fixed. She seems to wants to become the residents' friends, she hasn't hid as a result of any of the hissing or growling from either cat (usually just carries on like nothing's happened, or does the body-pulled-slightly-back-and-eyes-squinting thing), she hasn't run away from either cat as a result of the hissing or growling, and altogether...she just seems too BOLD :lol:
We also have the Feliway Friends plugins but have only been using for ~2 weeks. All cats are eating normally, we feed them across the baby gate primarily because Aberdeen will steal the residents' food (all are fed commercially prepared raw food). Sammie we feed her a bit farther away - maybe 2-3 feet back from the gate but Rosie, we can pretty much feed her directly across the gate from Aberdeen.
The residents' retreat is the finished basement - they stay there overnight, and sometimes spends the day down there even if they have access to the rest of the house. Aberdeen has had access to their retreat but if both residents are down there, we close the door so Aberdeen doesn't disturb them in their safe space. Eventually, we hope to have the basement as Aberdeen's retreat as well, if the integration goes well. We'll likely get an extra post and extra litter box in there when and if that day comes.
 

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Mr. Meow

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Hi all!

I completely forgot I even made this account after adopting our first 2 cats (referred to as "the residents" in my post) years ago. They are littermates, bonded pair, and we've had them since they were 10 weeks old. They're almost 8.5 years now.

We recently adopted a 7 month old kitten. We hadn't planned on it, but I met her while volunteering at the shelter I've been with for 2 years. She came to the shelter semi-feral but her foster family did an excellent job socializing her - she's quite affectionate, sits on our laps, head butts our hands and is loud and obnoxious when she wants something. Her 2 littermates were still quite shy when we adopted Aberdeen and weren't socialized as well, for whatever reason. I've attached some photos so you can see Rosie (snowshoe), Sammie (black cat) and Aberdeen (tabby, the newcomer).

It's been almost 4 weeks since we've had Aberdeen. She cannot STAND spending the whole day in her safe room anymore, which is my husband's office, so for the most part we let her out during the day since my "office" is on the main floor, where the cats mostly hang out during the day. She would meow nonstop if we even closed my husband's office door, so now we just keep it open. We've been doing this since Monday of this week. I mainly just want to check with the group that the residents' residual hissing and growling is normal, and whether you have any suggestions of how to make the transition better.

Disclaimer: The post is long, so I thank you in advance for reading it, and have split it into some sections for easier reading.

Rosie - Background
I would say the integration process has gone fairly well. Rosie has pretty much accepted and tolerates her - they have touched noses at least a dozen times and the hissing is becoming less frequent, although Aberdeen is now becoming bolder and stepping up her interactions with Rosie so we've been hearing it a little more. We worked to introduce Aberdeen to Rosie first because we know Rosie is much more chill. I have heard Rosie hiss maybe all of 3 times in the 8 years we've had her, before Aberdeen arrived.

Sammie - Background
Sammie, on the other hand, is a more standoffish cat. She's strongly bonded to Rosie so those get along very well, but she is definitely more hissy in general (even before Aberdeen). We knew she would take time and would've chosen to keep Aberdeen away for longer, but we also know that without the exposure she would likely never come around since we would just be delaying the inevitable adjustment period. For example - if we bathe Rosie, even if it's a quick splash with water, she will not recognize her for 2 weeks. Rosie will try to cuddle and Sammie would growl and hiss. Over time, she would still growl and hiss but tolerate the cuddling, until over time Rosie's smell goes back to normal. So we never separate them because it never became aggressive or violent.

Another time, we used this antibiotic wipe on Rosie as she had pulled out a bit of fur and cut herself. Sammie sounded like she was possessed by some otherworldly creature and would growl and hiss at the SIGHT of Rosie. We didn't know what was wrong until I remembered her sensitivity to Rosie's smell, carefully washed off the area where I used the wipe (without "contaminating" the rest of Rosie's fur and cause something worse!), kept them separate for a day and everything returned to normal.

Aberdeen + Rosie - The hissing
There was some hissing before with just sight and proximity but now Aberdeen can approach Rosie without any incident for the most part.
The only times I really hear Rosie hissing are if Aberdeen runs towards/past Rosie (when she's playing), if Aberdeen accidently smacks Rosie on the face (when she's playing) if Aberdeen spends TOO much time very close to Rosie, if Aberdeen tries butting Rosie's face too many times with her face.
Rosie's hiss will usually follow with a return to normal like she never hissed, or she would get up and walk away.

I read it as more of "that's enough!" or "quit it!" and think that's probably normal and iwll likely continue until Aberdeen learns some manners. Would you agree?

Aberdeen + Sammie - The hissing and growling

Sometimes Sammie's actions confuse me when she's hissing and growling. Some examples:
- Sammie appears to have NO ISSUES with Aberdeen's scent. I have swapped their bedding multiple times and Sammie also sleeps in the round bed I placed on the floor for Aberdeen so that she can be close to her sisters without being beside them (show in one of the photos below)
- Sometimes Aberdeen can walk past Sammie with no hissing or growling, other times Sammie will hiss and/or growl even though Aberdeen in more than a few feet away. If Aberdeen goes right next to Sammie when Sammie's not looking, she won't get hissed at.
- If my husband is holding Aberdeen and sits next to Sammie, there's usually no hissing or growling.
- I just witnessed an event where Aberdeen got to where the orange cushion is on our red couch (in photo below), Sammie is exactly where she is in the photo. Aberdeen's done this before without incident. This time, Sammie hissed at her, hopped onto the arm rest, sniffed Aberdeen, hissed softly, sniffed again, hissed, and hopped off the couch.
- I've had all 3 lined up or close together below - if there's something to distract them like a toy (which is challenging because Sammie is lazy and not very playful) or treats, they can stay pretty close together for a long time with only a few hisses.

We do have a baby gate separating the red couch room + kitchen from the rest of the house. If Aberdeen becomes too much for the residents, or if we need to separate them because Aberdeen won't leave after being hissed at by Sammie, we'll close the gate.

I'm not quite understanding Sammie's hisses and growls. We know she isn't as far along as Rosie - but do we need to dial back their interactions? Or just keep letting this controlled exposure continue? She has whapped Aberdeen a few times on the head in the past few days, but she's never had the arched back, bared teeth, fur sticking up, or any other sort of aggressive body language. Just hissing and growling.

We know we're still in early stages of integration and the goal is peaceful coexistence, but just want to see we're not moving things TOO fast (as they'll be difficult to dial back, Aberdeen not being able to tolerate staying in her safe room except overnight) or if there's anything else we can try to make things easier for Sammie.

Other things to note: Aberdeen is fixed. She seems to wants to become the residents' friends, she hasn't hid as a result of any of the hissing or growling from either cat (usually just carries on like nothing's happened, or does the body-pulled-slightly-back-and-eyes-squinting thing), she hasn't run away from either cat as a result of the hissing or growling, and altogether...she just seems too BOLD :lol:
We also have the Feliway Friends plugins but have only been using for ~2 weeks. All cats are eating normally, we feed them across the baby gate primarily because Aberdeen will steal the residents' food (all are fed commercially prepared raw food). Sammie we feed her a bit farther away - maybe 2-3 feet back from the gate but Rosie, we can pretty much feed her directly across the gate from Aberdeen.
The residents' retreat is the finished basement - they stay there overnight, and sometimes spends the day down there even if they have access to the rest of the house. Aberdeen has had access to their retreat but if both residents are down there, we close the door so Aberdeen doesn't disturb them in their safe space. Eventually, we hope to have the basement as Aberdeen's retreat as well, if the integration goes well. We'll likely get an extra post and extra litter box in there when and if that day comes.
From what I'm reading, you're doing everything you're supposed to. Controlled and supervised interactions, you're taking it slow, etc. The whaps to the head are normal from an adult to a kitten, basically telling them I'm the boss. As long as there's no fur or blood flying, then there's no harm.
The hissing could be prolonged due to the fact that your two residents have claimed this place as their own for 8+ years. That's a long time to feel something is "yours", to then find out there's a new thing in your space and eating your food. I feel like it will continue to lessen over time.
As far as the scent swapping, I've heard/tried using a drop of vanilla extract on cats when one gets a bath, has medicine put on, goes to the vet etc. so they all smell the same, helping to reduce the time of the "I don't recognize your smell" hissing.
There's also just the age/energy difference that plays a factor. When you're young, you can run and play and jump for hours and hours, but when you're older, you can't. So if you're trying to relax and someone is bouncing off the walls around you, it can be kind of annoying. I'd try playing with Aberdeen BEFORE the interactions with your residents. If you can wear Aberdeen out, then there is the potential for calmer interactions, which can also help Sammy deal with them better.
 

calicosrspecial

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Hi all!

I completely forgot I even made this account after adopting our first 2 cats (referred to as "the residents" in my post) years ago. They are littermates, bonded pair, and we've had them since they were 10 weeks old. They're almost 8.5 years now.

We recently adopted a 7 month old kitten. We hadn't planned on it, but I met her while volunteering at the shelter I've been with for 2 years. She came to the shelter semi-feral but her foster family did an excellent job socializing her - she's quite affectionate, sits on our laps, head butts our hands and is loud and obnoxious when she wants something. Her 2 littermates were still quite shy when we adopted Aberdeen and weren't socialized as well, for whatever reason. I've attached some photos so you can see Rosie (snowshoe), Sammie (black cat) and Aberdeen (tabby, the newcomer).

It's been almost 4 weeks since we've had Aberdeen. She cannot STAND spending the whole day in her safe room anymore, which is my husband's office, so for the most part we let her out during the day since my "office" is on the main floor, where the cats mostly hang out during the day. She would meow nonstop if we even closed my husband's office door, so now we just keep it open. We've been doing this since Monday of this week. I mainly just want to check with the group that the residents' residual hissing and growling is normal, and whether you have any suggestions of how to make the transition better.

Disclaimer: The post is long, so I thank you in advance for reading it, and have split it into some sections for easier reading.

Rosie - Background
I would say the integration process has gone fairly well. Rosie has pretty much accepted and tolerates her - they have touched noses at least a dozen times and the hissing is becoming less frequent, although Aberdeen is now becoming bolder and stepping up her interactions with Rosie so we've been hearing it a little more. We worked to introduce Aberdeen to Rosie first because we know Rosie is much more chill. I have heard Rosie hiss maybe all of 3 times in the 8 years we've had her, before Aberdeen arrived.

Sammie - Background
Sammie, on the other hand, is a more standoffish cat. She's strongly bonded to Rosie so those get along very well, but she is definitely more hissy in general (even before Aberdeen). We knew she would take time and would've chosen to keep Aberdeen away for longer, but we also know that without the exposure she would likely never come around since we would just be delaying the inevitable adjustment period. For example - if we bathe Rosie, even if it's a quick splash with water, she will not recognize her for 2 weeks. Rosie will try to cuddle and Sammie would growl and hiss. Over time, she would still growl and hiss but tolerate the cuddling, until over time Rosie's smell goes back to normal. So we never separate them because it never became aggressive or violent.

Another time, we used this antibiotic wipe on Rosie as she had pulled out a bit of fur and cut herself. Sammie sounded like she was possessed by some otherworldly creature and would growl and hiss at the SIGHT of Rosie. We didn't know what was wrong until I remembered her sensitivity to Rosie's smell, carefully washed off the area where I used the wipe (without "contaminating" the rest of Rosie's fur and cause something worse!), kept them separate for a day and everything returned to normal.

Aberdeen + Rosie - The hissing
There was some hissing before with just sight and proximity but now Aberdeen can approach Rosie without any incident for the most part.
The only times I really hear Rosie hissing are if Aberdeen runs towards/past Rosie (when she's playing), if Aberdeen accidently smacks Rosie on the face (when she's playing) if Aberdeen spends TOO much time very close to Rosie, if Aberdeen tries butting Rosie's face too many times with her face.
Rosie's hiss will usually follow with a return to normal like she never hissed, or she would get up and walk away.

I read it as more of "that's enough!" or "quit it!" and think that's probably normal and iwll likely continue until Aberdeen learns some manners. Would you agree?

Aberdeen + Sammie - The hissing and growling

Sometimes Sammie's actions confuse me when she's hissing and growling. Some examples:
- Sammie appears to have NO ISSUES with Aberdeen's scent. I have swapped their bedding multiple times and Sammie also sleeps in the round bed I placed on the floor for Aberdeen so that she can be close to her sisters without being beside them (show in one of the photos below)
- Sometimes Aberdeen can walk past Sammie with no hissing or growling, other times Sammie will hiss and/or growl even though Aberdeen in more than a few feet away. If Aberdeen goes right next to Sammie when Sammie's not looking, she won't get hissed at.
- If my husband is holding Aberdeen and sits next to Sammie, there's usually no hissing or growling.
- I just witnessed an event where Aberdeen got to where the orange cushion is on our red couch (in photo below), Sammie is exactly where she is in the photo. Aberdeen's done this before without incident. This time, Sammie hissed at her, hopped onto the arm rest, sniffed Aberdeen, hissed softly, sniffed again, hissed, and hopped off the couch.
- I've had all 3 lined up or close together below - if there's something to distract them like a toy (which is challenging because Sammie is lazy and not very playful) or treats, they can stay pretty close together for a long time with only a few hisses.

We do have a baby gate separating the red couch room + kitchen from the rest of the house. If Aberdeen becomes too much for the residents, or if we need to separate them because Aberdeen won't leave after being hissed at by Sammie, we'll close the gate.

I'm not quite understanding Sammie's hisses and growls. We know she isn't as far along as Rosie - but do we need to dial back their interactions? Or just keep letting this controlled exposure continue? She has whapped Aberdeen a few times on the head in the past few days, but she's never had the arched back, bared teeth, fur sticking up, or any other sort of aggressive body language. Just hissing and growling.

We know we're still in early stages of integration and the goal is peaceful coexistence, but just want to see we're not moving things TOO fast (as they'll be difficult to dial back, Aberdeen not being able to tolerate staying in her safe room except overnight) or if there's anything else we can try to make things easier for Sammie.

Other things to note: Aberdeen is fixed. She seems to wants to become the residents' friends, she hasn't hid as a result of any of the hissing or growling from either cat (usually just carries on like nothing's happened, or does the body-pulled-slightly-back-and-eyes-squinting thing), she hasn't run away from either cat as a result of the hissing or growling, and altogether...she just seems too BOLD :lol:
We also have the Feliway Friends plugins but have only been using for ~2 weeks. All cats are eating normally, we feed them across the baby gate primarily because Aberdeen will steal the residents' food (all are fed commercially prepared raw food). Sammie we feed her a bit farther away - maybe 2-3 feet back from the gate but Rosie, we can pretty much feed her directly across the gate from Aberdeen.
The residents' retreat is the finished basement - they stay there overnight, and sometimes spends the day down there even if they have access to the rest of the house. Aberdeen has had access to their retreat but if both residents are down there, we close the door so Aberdeen doesn't disturb them in their safe space. Eventually, we hope to have the basement as Aberdeen's retreat as well, if the integration goes well. We'll likely get an extra post and extra litter box in there when and if that day comes.
Sounds like it is going great to me.

"I read it as more of "that's enough!" or "quit it!" and think that's probably normal and iwll likely continue until Aberdeen learns some manners. Would you agree?" - I agree.

"but do we need to dial back their interactions? Or just keep letting this controlled exposure continue? " - I don't think so. Watch how they act after an "issue". If there is hiding, avoiding, any real change in behavior then there is some work that needs to be done.

Just keep doing what you are doing, making positive associations, maximizing positive encoutners while minimzing or avoiding negative encounters.

You are doing great. They are going to be intro'd successfully in time.

Keep up the great work!!
 
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kghia

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From what I'm reading, you're doing everything you're supposed to. Controlled and supervised interactions, you're taking it slow, etc. The whaps to the head are normal from an adult to a kitten, basically telling them I'm the boss. As long as there's no fur or blood flying, then there's no harm.
The hissing could be prolonged due to the fact that your two residents have claimed this place as their own for 8+ years. That's a long time to feel something is "yours", to then find out there's a new thing in your space and eating your food. I feel like it will continue to lessen over time.
As far as the scent swapping, I've heard/tried using a drop of vanilla extract on cats when one gets a bath, has medicine put on, goes to the vet etc. so they all smell the same, helping to reduce the time of the "I don't recognize your smell" hissing.
There's also just the age/energy difference that plays a factor. When you're young, you can run and play and jump for hours and hours, but when you're older, you can't. So if you're trying to relax and someone is bouncing off the walls around you, it can be kind of annoying. I'd try playing with Aberdeen BEFORE the interactions with your residents. If you can wear Aberdeen out, then there is the potential for calmer interactions, which can also help Sammy deal with them better.
Thank you, Mr. Meow! I completely agree with you on that second paragraph and that's what my husband thinks is part of the issue - our kitties have been spoiled and have had the house all to themselves for 8 years. We moved house when they were 4, but they were staying at a kitty kennel for the 2 months (to reduce the stress of having people come to the house for showings, or us needing to put them in a carrier whenever we need to leave the house for showings) and moved them directly to the new house when we were settled. They took no time to settle into the new place since all our furniture still probably had their smell.

I have tried the vanilla extract thing awhile back, sadly that didn't work for Sammie. I also got so desperate to get the 3 to get along a week or so ago, I dripped tuna juice on all 3 cats because I read somewhere it worked wonders for this household....well that didn't work either except to make all 3 cats smell like old tuna for a few days! :lol:

I'll definitely try to play more with Aberdeen, that's a very good point. I have noticed that Sammie does like to come up and watch when she's making a ruckus playing. Usually there's no hissing there either, unless Aberdeen gets too close.

Sounds like it is going great to me.

"I read it as more of "that's enough!" or "quit it!" and think that's probably normal and iwll likely continue until Aberdeen learns some manners. Would you agree?" - I agree.

"but do we need to dial back their interactions? Or just keep letting this controlled exposure continue? " - I don't think so. Watch how they act after an "issue". If there is hiding, avoiding, any real change in behavior then there is some work that needs to be done.

Just keep doing what you are doing, making positive associations, maximizing positive encoutners while minimzing or avoiding negative encounters.

You are doing great. They are going to be intro'd successfully in time.

Keep up the great work!!
Thank you calicosrspecial! I was hoping you'd respond, since I've read many of your super helpful posts here, primarily in threads where other posters seem to be having similar cat introduction concerns. Really appreciate your taking the time to respond to mine :blush:
 

calicosrspecial

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Thank you, Mr. Meow! I completely agree with you on that second paragraph and that's what my husband thinks is part of the issue - our kitties have been spoiled and have had the house all to themselves for 8 years. We moved house when they were 4, but they were staying at a kitty kennel for the 2 months (to reduce the stress of having people come to the house for showings, or us needing to put them in a carrier whenever we need to leave the house for showings) and moved them directly to the new house when we were settled. They took no time to settle into the new place since all our furniture still probably had their smell.

I have tried the vanilla extract thing awhile back, sadly that didn't work for Sammie. I also got so desperate to get the 3 to get along a week or so ago, I dripped tuna juice on all 3 cats because I read somewhere it worked wonders for this household....well that didn't work either except to make all 3 cats smell like old tuna for a few days! :lol:

I'll definitely try to play more with Aberdeen, that's a very good point. I have noticed that Sammie does like to come up and watch when she's making a ruckus playing. Usually there's no hissing there either, unless Aberdeen gets too close.



Thank you calicosrspecial! I was hoping you'd respond, since I've read many of your super helpful posts here, primarily in threads where other posters seem to be having similar cat introduction concerns. Really appreciate your taking the time to respond to mine :blush:
Oh, you are welcome and thank you for the kind words. Always feel free to reach out.

A bit more color:

"The only times I really hear Rosie hissing are if Aberdeen runs towards/past Rosie (when she's playing), if Aberdeen accidently smacks Rosie on the face (when she's playing) if Aberdeen spends TOO much time very close to Rosie, if Aberdeen tries butting Rosie's face too many times with her face." - Totally normal. And hissing is jsut communication so if Aberdeen is respecting it and it is not escalating then that is what we want to see.

"Rosie's hiss will usually follow with a return to normal like she never hissed, or she would get up and walk away." - And this is exactly what we want to see.

"I read it as more of "that's enough!" or "quit it!" and think that's probably normal and iwll likely continue until Aberdeen learns some manners. Would you agree? " - Exactly as mentioned previously.

"Sometimes Sammie's actions confuse me when she's hissing and growling. Some examples:" - Let's take them one by one.

- "Sammie appears to have NO ISSUES with Aberdeen's scent. I have swapped their bedding multiple times and Sammie also sleeps in the round bed I placed on the floor for Aberdeen so that she can be close to her sisters without being beside them (show in one of the photos below)" - Perfect.

- "Sometimes Aberdeen can walk past Sammie with no hissing or growling, other times Sammie will hiss and/or growl even though Aberdeen in more than a few feet away." - That is normal. A hiss can be "just watch it". If it is respected (as it sounds like it is) then it is fine. AND watching the cat that got hissed at behavior is telling. It tells us how serious the "warning" was. If it is respected and they act normal then it was just a warning, not a threat.

"If Aberdeen goes right next to Sammie when Sammie's not looking, she won't get hissed at." - Tells me Sammie doesn;t preceive Aberdeen as an existential threat. Sammie knows she is there.

- "If my husband is holding Aberdeen and sits next to Sammie, there's usually no hissing or growling." - Yes, because of the confidence he gives them and the positive association. Just make sure he is safe when doing it.

- "I just witnessed an event where Aberdeen got to where the orange cushion is on our red couch (in photo below), Sammie is exactly where she is in the photo. Aberdeen's done this before without incident. This time, Sammie hissed at her, hopped onto the arm rest, sniffed Aberdeen, hissed softly, sniffed again, hissed, and hopped off the couch." - Totally normal and the fact it didn't escalate is great. If each cat acts normal after it is even better.

- "I've had all 3 lined up or close together below" - The pictures are amazing.

- "if there's something to distract them like a toy (which is challenging because Sammie is lazy and not very playful) or treats, they can stay pretty close together for a long time with only a few hisses." - And this is key. There is no way distraction would work if there was serious fear, lack of confidence among them. And these positive encounters build trust and confidence.

"We do have a baby gate separating the red couch room + kitchen from the rest of the house. If Aberdeen becomes too much for the residents, or if we need to separate them because Aberdeen won't leave after being hissed at by Sammie, we'll close the gate." - That is great.

"I'm not quite understanding Sammie's hisses and growls. We know she isn't as far along as Rosie - but do we need to dial back their interactions? Or just keep letting this controlled exposure continue? " - All it is is normal communication. Totally normal and the fact it stops at that is totally positive.

"She has whapped Aberdeen a few times on the head in the past few days, but she's never had the arched back, bared teeth, fur sticking up, or any other sort of aggressive body language. Just hissing and growling." - A whap is a discipline, teaching manners, etc moment. That is what mama cats do to keep the kittens in line. Again, as long as it is respected and doesn't escalate and they act normal shortly thereafter it is fine. Part of the teaching process.

"We know we're still in early stages of integration and the goal is peaceful coexistence, but just want to see we're not moving things TOO fast (as they'll be difficult to dial back, Aberdeen not being able to tolerate staying in her safe room except overnight) or if there's anything else we can try to make things easier for Sammie." - I think you are moving at the pace of the cats and since all is well I don't think you are moving too fast. Just keep observing to keep it as positive as possible for all cats involved. So positive associations, maximize positive encounters. It is really all about build trust and confidence. You are doing great. I am not at all worried about Sammie or Rosie.

"Other things to note: Aberdeen is fixed. She seems to wants to become the residents' friends, she hasn't hid as a result of any of the hissing or growling from either cat (usually just carries on like nothing's happened, or does the body-pulled-slightly-back-and-eyes-squinting thing), she hasn't run away from either cat as a result of the hissing or growling, and altogether...she just seems too BOLD :lol: " - Hahahaha, yes. But she is reading the resident cat's and they are telling her to behave but they are accepting her.

"We also have the Feliway Friends plugins but have only been using for ~2 weeks. All cats are eating normally, we feed them across the baby gate primarily because Aberdeen will steal the residents' food (all are fed commercially prepared raw food). Sammie we feed her a bit farther away - maybe 2-3 feet back from the gate but Rosie, we can pretty much feed her directly across the gate from Aberdeen." - Great job on feeding. Positive association, positive encounter that builds trust and confidence.

"The residents' retreat is the finished basement - they stay there overnight, and sometimes spends the day down there even if they have access to the rest of the house. Aberdeen has had access to their retreat but if both residents are down there, we close the door so Aberdeen doesn't disturb them in their safe space." - Perfect. For now it is all about making sure every encounter is positive between them.

"Eventually, we hope to have the basement as Aberdeen's retreat as well, if the integration goes well. We'll likely get an extra post and extra litter box in there when and if that day comes." - I don't see any reason why that will not happen.

I didn't really respond much on the prior post because all is going well. We'll monitor them and if there are any issues we'll handle them but I think they are going to be just keep focusing on those basic fundamentals.

Cats typically have issues because they fear their physical safety, keeping their territory, access to food, water, litter box. And those fears show up in a lack of confidence. So there are good warnings before real difficult problems become ingrained.

It sounds like Sammie and Rosie are very confident cats which helps a lot and same with Aberdeen.

If you have questions please ask and if you post and it is something I don't see send me a message. There will probably be some blips but I don't see any reasons to be concerned at all. Just keep up the great work!!
 
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kghia

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Oh, you are welcome and thank you for the kind words. Always feel free to reach out.

A bit more color:

"The only times I really hear Rosie hissing are if Aberdeen runs towards/past Rosie (when she's playing), if Aberdeen accidently smacks Rosie on the face (when she's playing) if Aberdeen spends TOO much time very close to Rosie, if Aberdeen tries butting Rosie's face too many times with her face." - Totally normal. And hissing is jsut communication so if Aberdeen is respecting it and it is not escalating then that is what we want to see.

"Rosie's hiss will usually follow with a return to normal like she never hissed, or she would get up and walk away." - And this is exactly what we want to see.

"I read it as more of "that's enough!" or "quit it!" and think that's probably normal and iwll likely continue until Aberdeen learns some manners. Would you agree? " - Exactly as mentioned previously.

"Sometimes Sammie's actions confuse me when she's hissing and growling. Some examples:" - Let's take them one by one.

- "Sammie appears to have NO ISSUES with Aberdeen's scent. I have swapped their bedding multiple times and Sammie also sleeps in the round bed I placed on the floor for Aberdeen so that she can be close to her sisters without being beside them (show in one of the photos below)" - Perfect.

- "Sometimes Aberdeen can walk past Sammie with no hissing or growling, other times Sammie will hiss and/or growl even though Aberdeen in more than a few feet away." - That is normal. A hiss can be "just watch it". If it is respected (as it sounds like it is) then it is fine. AND watching the cat that got hissed at behavior is telling. It tells us how serious the "warning" was. If it is respected and they act normal then it was just a warning, not a threat.

"If Aberdeen goes right next to Sammie when Sammie's not looking, she won't get hissed at." - Tells me Sammie doesn;t preceive Aberdeen as an existential threat. Sammie knows she is there.

- "If my husband is holding Aberdeen and sits next to Sammie, there's usually no hissing or growling." - Yes, because of the confidence he gives them and the positive association. Just make sure he is safe when doing it.

- "I just witnessed an event where Aberdeen got to where the orange cushion is on our red couch (in photo below), Sammie is exactly where she is in the photo. Aberdeen's done this before without incident. This time, Sammie hissed at her, hopped onto the arm rest, sniffed Aberdeen, hissed softly, sniffed again, hissed, and hopped off the couch." - Totally normal and the fact it didn't escalate is great. If each cat acts normal after it is even better.

- "I've had all 3 lined up or close together below" - The pictures are amazing.

- "if there's something to distract them like a toy (which is challenging because Sammie is lazy and not very playful) or treats, they can stay pretty close together for a long time with only a few hisses." - And this is key. There is no way distraction would work if there was serious fear, lack of confidence among them. And these positive encounters build trust and confidence.

"We do have a baby gate separating the red couch room + kitchen from the rest of the house. If Aberdeen becomes too much for the residents, or if we need to separate them because Aberdeen won't leave after being hissed at by Sammie, we'll close the gate." - That is great.

"I'm not quite understanding Sammie's hisses and growls. We know she isn't as far along as Rosie - but do we need to dial back their interactions? Or just keep letting this controlled exposure continue? " - All it is is normal communication. Totally normal and the fact it stops at that is totally positive.

"She has whapped Aberdeen a few times on the head in the past few days, but she's never had the arched back, bared teeth, fur sticking up, or any other sort of aggressive body language. Just hissing and growling." - A whap is a discipline, teaching manners, etc moment. That is what mama cats do to keep the kittens in line. Again, as long as it is respected and doesn't escalate and they act normal shortly thereafter it is fine. Part of the teaching process.

"We know we're still in early stages of integration and the goal is peaceful coexistence, but just want to see we're not moving things TOO fast (as they'll be difficult to dial back, Aberdeen not being able to tolerate staying in her safe room except overnight) or if there's anything else we can try to make things easier for Sammie." - I think you are moving at the pace of the cats and since all is well I don't think you are moving too fast. Just keep observing to keep it as positive as possible for all cats involved. So positive associations, maximize positive encounters. It is really all about build trust and confidence. You are doing great. I am not at all worried about Sammie or Rosie.

"Other things to note: Aberdeen is fixed. She seems to wants to become the residents' friends, she hasn't hid as a result of any of the hissing or growling from either cat (usually just carries on like nothing's happened, or does the body-pulled-slightly-back-and-eyes-squinting thing), she hasn't run away from either cat as a result of the hissing or growling, and altogether...she just seems too BOLD :lol: " - Hahahaha, yes. But she is reading the resident cat's and they are telling her to behave but they are accepting her.

"We also have the Feliway Friends plugins but have only been using for ~2 weeks. All cats are eating normally, we feed them across the baby gate primarily because Aberdeen will steal the residents' food (all are fed commercially prepared raw food). Sammie we feed her a bit farther away - maybe 2-3 feet back from the gate but Rosie, we can pretty much feed her directly across the gate from Aberdeen." - Great job on feeding. Positive association, positive encounter that builds trust and confidence.

"The residents' retreat is the finished basement - they stay there overnight, and sometimes spends the day down there even if they have access to the rest of the house. Aberdeen has had access to their retreat but if both residents are down there, we close the door so Aberdeen doesn't disturb them in their safe space." - Perfect. For now it is all about making sure every encounter is positive between them.

"Eventually, we hope to have the basement as Aberdeen's retreat as well, if the integration goes well. We'll likely get an extra post and extra litter box in there when and if that day comes." - I don't see any reason why that will not happen.

I didn't really respond much on the prior post because all is going well. We'll monitor them and if there are any issues we'll handle them but I think they are going to be just keep focusing on those basic fundamentals.

Cats typically have issues because they fear their physical safety, keeping their territory, access to food, water, litter box. And those fears show up in a lack of confidence. So there are good warnings before real difficult problems become ingrained.

It sounds like Sammie and Rosie are very confident cats which helps a lot and same with Aberdeen.

If you have questions please ask and if you post and it is something I don't see send me a message. There will probably be some blips but I don't see any reasons to be concerned at all. Just keep up the great work!!
I appreciate this so, so much. The reassurance really helps.
I will admit that I was seriously discouraged last week, but seeing some of the progress we've made this week, AND having read through the posts here really help. Thanks to people like you and Mr Meow, us nervous cat parents can sleep easier knowing we're doing the right thing!! :redheartpump:
 

calicosrspecial

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I appreciate this so, so much. The reassurance really helps.
I will admit that I was seriously discouraged last week, but seeing some of the progress we've made this week, AND having read through the posts here really help. Thanks to people like you and Mr Meow, us nervous cat parents can sleep easier knowing we're doing the right thing!! :redheartpump:
"I appreciate this so, so much." - You are very welcome.

"The reassurance really helps." - It really helps to have the humans doing a great job!!! ;)

"I will admit that I was seriously discouraged last week," - That is very normal. There are ups and downs. Putting things in perspective is really important and understanding the nuance, the details. It all comes to experience.

"but seeing some of the progress we've made this week, AND having read through the posts here really help." - Yes, agreed. It really all comes down the knowledge and effort. It is very, very, very rare to not have them work if those are present.

" Thanks to people like you and Mr Meow, us nervous cat parents can sleep easier knowing we're doing the right thing!! :redheartpump: " - :) Remember, I (we?) have been there before as well. And I see it all the time. It is very common to feel those emotions. That is why we are here to help. :)

Keep up the great work!! Don't worry, we'll get them intro'd just fine. I am not at all worried. Have a great weekend!! Always here for you so feel free to ask anything anytime.
 
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kghia

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Hey all!

I have a few more observations/updates and wanted to see what your thoughts are.

First, Aberdeen and Rosie have had a bit of a rollercoaster ride this past week. Now that Aberdeen knows Rosie will tolerate her, she is frequently trying to head butt Rosie, chase her around (initiating play), and follows her around everywhere. I think Rosie does get annoyed, I've heard her chatter at Aberdeen, do a weird little meow at her, and occasionally hiss at her when Aberdeen becomes too much. The body language looks OK, Rosie just carries on doing what she was doing, or she'll try to walk away or hide from Aberdeen if she gets to be too much (not necessarily hiding like scared hiding, but more like....she'll come to us and sit in a way that we would block Aberdeen's view of her :lol: ). I found Aberdeen cuddled up to Rosie today, so I think those 2 are getting along!

Sammie is still in the process of coming around... I thought things got a bit worse towards the end of last weekend because Aberdeen fell asleep pretty close to Sammie on the couch (roughly half a foot behind her). I can't imagine Sammie didn't KNOW Aberdeen was there, but they had been peacefully sleeping for maybe 15 minutes when Sammie woke up and turned around and saw Aberdeen there...I witnessed about 10 head baps from Sammie before she hopped off the couch. Since then, she's seemed a little more growly at Aberdeen than the week before.

Now she does this higher pitched growling whenever Aberdeen is within a couple feet of her (only if Aberdeen turns around and LOOKS at Sammie), or if it looked like Aberdeen is approaching Sammie. She also does the same growl to me when I clip her back paws :lol: It rarely turns into anything more, maybe a hiss but the baps are only if Aberdeen sticks around. Her body language is almost always completely neutral - like if I removed the sound from a video clip you wouldn't even know she was even growling.

Other times, she'll growl at Aberdeen as Aberdeen is walking past her, and she'll continue to growl at her from a few feet away even if Aberdeen is clearly trying to get out of her way. I'm guessing Sammie just isn't comfortable with Aberdeen approaching her just yet, but at the same time, I've also found all 3 of them asleep on the same couch within a few feet of each other without issue. I moved all of their favourite bedding on the couch because Aberdeen just seems to want to be close to her older sisters most of the time :redheartpump: I'm still petting all of them, giving them treats whenever possible, closing the baby gate when the baby becomes too much for the residents....
 

calicosrspecial

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Hey all!

I have a few more observations/updates and wanted to see what your thoughts are.

First, Aberdeen and Rosie have had a bit of a rollercoaster ride this past week. Now that Aberdeen knows Rosie will tolerate her, she is frequently trying to head butt Rosie, chase her around (initiating play), and follows her around everywhere. I think Rosie does get annoyed, I've heard her chatter at Aberdeen, do a weird little meow at her, and occasionally hiss at her when Aberdeen becomes too much. The body language looks OK, Rosie just carries on doing what she was doing, or she'll try to walk away or hide from Aberdeen if she gets to be too much (not necessarily hiding like scared hiding, but more like....she'll come to us and sit in a way that we would block Aberdeen's view of her :lol: ). I found Aberdeen cuddled up to Rosie today, so I think those 2 are getting along!

Sammie is still in the process of coming around... I thought things got a bit worse towards the end of last weekend because Aberdeen fell asleep pretty close to Sammie on the couch (roughly half a foot behind her). I can't imagine Sammie didn't KNOW Aberdeen was there, but they had been peacefully sleeping for maybe 15 minutes when Sammie woke up and turned around and saw Aberdeen there...I witnessed about 10 head baps from Sammie before she hopped off the couch. Since then, she's seemed a little more growly at Aberdeen than the week before.

Now she does this higher pitched growling whenever Aberdeen is within a couple feet of her (only if Aberdeen turns around and LOOKS at Sammie), or if it looked like Aberdeen is approaching Sammie. She also does the same growl to me when I clip her back paws :lol: It rarely turns into anything more, maybe a hiss but the baps are only if Aberdeen sticks around. Her body language is almost always completely neutral - like if I removed the sound from a video clip you wouldn't even know she was even growling.

Other times, she'll growl at Aberdeen as Aberdeen is walking past her, and she'll continue to growl at her from a few feet away even if Aberdeen is clearly trying to get out of her way. I'm guessing Sammie just isn't comfortable with Aberdeen approaching her just yet, but at the same time, I've also found all 3 of them asleep on the same couch within a few feet of each other without issue. I moved all of their favourite bedding on the couch because Aberdeen just seems to want to be close to her older sisters most of the time :redheartpump: I'm still petting all of them, giving them treats whenever possible, closing the baby gate when the baby becomes too much for the residents....
Hi

"First, Aberdeen and Rosie have had a bit of a rollercoaster ride this past week." - OK, that is normal but let's see.

" Now that Aberdeen knows Rosie will tolerate her, she is frequently trying to head butt Rosie, chase her around (initiating play), and follows her around everywhere." - That is actually great. It shows Rosie is sending good signals and Aberdeen understands it. Of course, the young one will take it too far and the older cat will have to deal with it (teach manners, etc). But overall, a great sign.

" I think Rosie does get annoyed," - Absolutely, that is normal.

" I've heard her chatter at Aberdeen, do a weird little meow at her, and occasionally hiss at her when Aberdeen becomes too much." - Totally normal. How does Aberdeen respond?

"The body language looks OK, Rosie just carries on doing what she was doing, or she'll try to walk away or hide from Aberdeen if she gets to be too much (not necessarily hiding like scared hiding, but more like....she'll come to us and sit in a way that we would block Aberdeen's view of her :lol: ). " - OK, great. That is totally fine.

"I found Aberdeen cuddled up to Rosie today, so I think those 2 are getting along!" - Awwwww, so I am even more confident of the takes on the interactions I wrote above.

"Sammie is still in the process of coming around... " - Totally normal. It will help that Rosie is accepting and that should give Sammie confidence and trust.

"I thought things got a bit worse towards the end of last weekend because Aberdeen fell asleep pretty close to Sammie on the couch (roughly half a foot behind her). I can't imagine Sammie didn't KNOW Aberdeen was there, but they had been peacefully sleeping for maybe 15 minutes when Sammie woke up and turned around and saw Aberdeen there...I witnessed about 10 head baps from Sammie before she hopped off the couch. Since then, she's seemed a little more growly at Aberdeen than the week before." - Ok, that is not bad at all. Yes, I would assume Sammie did know she was there. AND it is good that Aberdeen was so good. Of course, early on there are time limits. But 10 head baps and then walking away is not bad at all. More teaching really. Sammie chose to teach then walk away rather than fight. How did Aberdeen act after?

"Now she does this higher pitched growling whenever Aberdeen is within a couple feet of her (only if Aberdeen turns around and LOOKS at Sammie), or if it looked like Aberdeen is approaching Sammie." - Ok, that is fine. She is just warning Aberdeen "not to try anything". If that is all that happens and Aberdeen respects the communication then it is fine. And if the both are acting pretty normal otherwise then that supports that take.

"She also does the same growl to me when I clip her back paws :lol: It rarely turns into anything more, maybe a hiss but the baps are only if Aberdeen sticks around. Her body language is almost always completely neutral - like if I removed the sound from a video clip you wouldn't even know she was even growling." - Ok, really good to hear. Then I am not worried. Just reassure with calm, confident words.

"Other times, she'll growl at Aberdeen as Aberdeen is walking past her, and she'll continue to growl at her from a few feet away even if Aberdeen is clearly trying to get out of her way. I'm guessing Sammie just isn't comfortable with Aberdeen approaching her just yet," - Yes, but again if that is all that is happening AND Aberdeen is respecting it (like it sounds) then that is fine. Avoiding negative encounters is a positive and trust building.

"but at the same time, I've also found all 3 of them asleep on the same couch within a few feet of each other without issue." - Awwwwwww, yep, they are just fine. :) We still have some work but it is fine tuning not heavy lifting. :)

" I moved all of their favourite bedding on the couch because Aberdeen just seems to want to be close to her older sisters most of the time :redheartpump: " - Awwwwwwww. Perfect!!!

" I'm still petting all of them, giving them treats whenever possible, closing the baby gate when the baby becomes too much for the residents...." - Great.

So overall, sounds like it is going fantastically well. I don't see any issues. Just keep doing what you are doing. IF we see any negativity (which does happen) we will address it and resolve it. The key is to take care of it before it becomes a real issue. I am not at all worried, they are going to be just fine. :)
 
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kghia

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Hi

"First, Aberdeen and Rosie have had a bit of a rollercoaster ride this past week." - OK, that is normal but let's see.

" Now that Aberdeen knows Rosie will tolerate her, she is frequently trying to head butt Rosie, chase her around (initiating play), and follows her around everywhere." - That is actually great. It shows Rosie is sending good signals and Aberdeen understands it. Of course, the young one will take it too far and the older cat will have to deal with it (teach manners, etc). But overall, a great sign.

" I think Rosie does get annoyed," - Absolutely, that is normal.

" I've heard her chatter at Aberdeen, do a weird little meow at her, and occasionally hiss at her when Aberdeen becomes too much." - Totally normal. How does Aberdeen respond?

"The body language looks OK, Rosie just carries on doing what she was doing, or she'll try to walk away or hide from Aberdeen if she gets to be too much (not necessarily hiding like scared hiding, but more like....she'll come to us and sit in a way that we would block Aberdeen's view of her :lol: ). " - OK, great. That is totally fine.

"I found Aberdeen cuddled up to Rosie today, so I think those 2 are getting along!" - Awwwww, so I am even more confident of the takes on the interactions I wrote above.

"Sammie is still in the process of coming around... " - Totally normal. It will help that Rosie is accepting and that should give Sammie confidence and trust.

"I thought things got a bit worse towards the end of last weekend because Aberdeen fell asleep pretty close to Sammie on the couch (roughly half a foot behind her). I can't imagine Sammie didn't KNOW Aberdeen was there, but they had been peacefully sleeping for maybe 15 minutes when Sammie woke up and turned around and saw Aberdeen there...I witnessed about 10 head baps from Sammie before she hopped off the couch. Since then, she's seemed a little more growly at Aberdeen than the week before." - Ok, that is not bad at all. Yes, I would assume Sammie did know she was there. AND it is good that Aberdeen was so good. Of course, early on there are time limits. But 10 head baps and then walking away is not bad at all. More teaching really. Sammie chose to teach then walk away rather than fight. How did Aberdeen act after?

"Now she does this higher pitched growling whenever Aberdeen is within a couple feet of her (only if Aberdeen turns around and LOOKS at Sammie), or if it looked like Aberdeen is approaching Sammie." - Ok, that is fine. She is just warning Aberdeen "not to try anything". If that is all that happens and Aberdeen respects the communication then it is fine. And if the both are acting pretty normal otherwise then that supports that take.

"She also does the same growl to me when I clip her back paws :lol: It rarely turns into anything more, maybe a hiss but the baps are only if Aberdeen sticks around. Her body language is almost always completely neutral - like if I removed the sound from a video clip you wouldn't even know she was even growling." - Ok, really good to hear. Then I am not worried. Just reassure with calm, confident words.

"Other times, she'll growl at Aberdeen as Aberdeen is walking past her, and she'll continue to growl at her from a few feet away even if Aberdeen is clearly trying to get out of her way. I'm guessing Sammie just isn't comfortable with Aberdeen approaching her just yet," - Yes, but again if that is all that is happening AND Aberdeen is respecting it (like it sounds) then that is fine. Avoiding negative encounters is a positive and trust building.

"but at the same time, I've also found all 3 of them asleep on the same couch within a few feet of each other without issue." - Awwwwwww, yep, they are just fine. :) We still have some work but it is fine tuning not heavy lifting. :)

" I moved all of their favourite bedding on the couch because Aberdeen just seems to want to be close to her older sisters most of the time :redheartpump: " - Awwwwwwww. Perfect!!!

" I'm still petting all of them, giving them treats whenever possible, closing the baby gate when the baby becomes too much for the residents...." - Great.

So overall, sounds like it is going fantastically well. I don't see any issues. Just keep doing what you are doing. IF we see any negativity (which does happen) we will address it and resolve it. The key is to take care of it before it becomes a real issue. I am not at all worried, they are going to be just fine. :)
Thanks calicosrspecial! Regarding your question about Aberdeen’s body language... Sometimes she will back off a little, bow/crouch down a little and continue whatever it is she was doing, or turn and walk away. Other times she just keeps at it like nothing happened. She’s never hid or ran away as a result of the hissing or growling, which I think is great. I tend to think she pushes her luck once in awhile but it seems like she has the confidence to keep trying at Sammie.

here are some photos from the last few days of them hanging out together, moments like these give me hope Sammie will come around and love her eventually... usually some hissing/growling from Sammie when Aberdeen gets in position but once she settles down they can stay this way peacefully until Aberdeen moves around!
 

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calicosrspecial

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Thanks calicosrspecial! Regarding your question about Aberdeen’s body language... Sometimes she will back off a little, bow/crouch down a little and continue whatever it is she was doing, or turn and walk away. Other times she just keeps at it like nothing happened. She’s never hid or ran away as a result of the hissing or growling, which I think is great. I tend to think she pushes her luck once in awhile but it seems like she has the confidence to keep trying at Sammie.

here are some photos from the last few days of them hanging out together, moments like these give me hope Sammie will come around and love her eventually... usually some hissing/growling from Sammie when Aberdeen gets in position but once she settles down they can stay this way peacefully until Aberdeen moves around!
Oh my, they are SO GORGEOUS!!!!

The pics are amazing not only for how adorable they are BUT because of how accepting it shows them.

"Regarding your question about Aberdeen’s body language... Sometimes she will back off a little, bow/crouch down a little and continue whatever it is she was doing, or turn and walk away. Other times she just keeps at it like nothing happened. She’s never hid or ran away as a result of the hissing or growling, which I think is great." - Perfect!! Backing off is respecting. Bow/crouch down a little is fine. Continuing what she is doing is a sign it was just a warning and turn and walk away a sign of respecting the communication. All great. Never hiding or running away is great. Tells me the communication from the resident cats is just a warning rather than something really serious.

"I tend to think she pushes her luck once in awhile but it seems like she has the confidence to keep trying at Sammie." - Yes, because she is young AND because the communication (from Sammie) is more a warning or annoyance rather than existential. Which is a good sign that Sammie is accepting her to some degree at this point.

"here are some photos from the last few days of them hanging out together, moments like these give me hope Sammie will come around and love her eventually..." - I think there ia a lot of acceptance already. If there were real issues these pics would never happen. Of course we have more work to do but I am not worried. I suspect Sammie will definitely totally accept and hopefully does love in time. Sammie's body language is fine.

"usually some hissing/growling from Sammie when Aberdeen gets in position but once she settles down they can stay this way peacefully until Aberdeen moves around!" - Totally normal and not at all a worry. I love that Sammie accepts Aberdeen this much already.

Keep doing what you are doing, you are doing great!!

And THANK YOU for the pics!!! They are GORGEOUS!!
 
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kghia

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Oh my, they are SO GORGEOUS!!!!

The pics are amazing not only for how adorable they are BUT because of how accepting it shows them.

"Regarding your question about Aberdeen’s body language... Sometimes she will back off a little, bow/crouch down a little and continue whatever it is she was doing, or turn and walk away. Other times she just keeps at it like nothing happened. She’s never hid or ran away as a result of the hissing or growling, which I think is great." - Perfect!! Backing off is respecting. Bow/crouch down a little is fine. Continuing what she is doing is a sign it was just a warning and turn and walk away a sign of respecting the communication. All great. Never hiding or running away is great. Tells me the communication from the resident cats is just a warning rather than something really serious.

"I tend to think she pushes her luck once in awhile but it seems like she has the confidence to keep trying at Sammie." - Yes, because she is young AND because the communication (from Sammie) is more a warning or annoyance rather than existential. Which is a good sign that Sammie is accepting her to some degree at this point.

"here are some photos from the last few days of them hanging out together, moments like these give me hope Sammie will come around and love her eventually..." - I think there ia a lot of acceptance already. If there were real issues these pics would never happen. Of course we have more work to do but I am not worried. I suspect Sammie will definitely totally accept and hopefully does love in time. Sammie's body language is fine.

"usually some hissing/growling from Sammie when Aberdeen gets in position but once she settles down they can stay this way peacefully until Aberdeen moves around!" - Totally normal and not at all a worry. I love that Sammie accepts Aberdeen this much already.

Keep doing what you are doing, you are doing great!!

And THANK YOU for the pics!!! They are GORGEOUS!!
Thank YOU for the continued support! I was just saying to my husband earlier this afternoon, if I could only tell myself 2 weeks ago (when things seemed to be taking a turn for the worse) how everything would be OK, it would've saved me so much stress. But I was stressing for nothing. I know there'll be good days and there'll be bad days!
 

calicosrspecial

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Thank YOU for the continued support! I was just saying to my husband earlier this afternoon, if I could only tell myself 2 weeks ago (when things seemed to be taking a turn for the worse) how everything would be OK, it would've saved me so much stress. But I was stressing for nothing. I know there'll be good days and there'll be bad days!
Oh, you are very welcome. But you deserve all the credit for the great work!!

Oh, I know, we all go through that stress at some point. Experience goes a long way in understanding how there things work. BUT it is a challenge to explain that all is ok without that experience. At least the stress didn't last longer. AND in the future you will have the experience. :)
 
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kghia

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Hey everyone...just thought I'd provide an update. No real progress, I'm getting a bit frustrated at where things are at because I feel like we've hit a plateau.

Aberdeen, being immature and young, still follows Rosie everywhere and tries to rub against her and head butt her multiple times a day. Rosie will tolerate some of it, and she's usually good with just hanging out close to Aberdeen, but usually the continued attempts by A results in a good smack (more like a neck hold?) and a hiss from Rosie. Not a big deal, we see those hanging out quite a bit without issues. And after the hissing and the smack, everything returns to normal.

My biggest issue is still Sammie. She still frequently growls whenever Aberdeen is near and she doesn't like it, or if Aberdeen plops herself down (like close to Sammie in a sunny spot in the house), Sammie will continually hiss at her. It only results in a smack if Aberdeen gets closer...most of the time, Sammie either stops, or just leaves. It's not all the time though... sometimes Aberdeen will pass by without incident...or be close by without Sammie reacting at all. It's almost like sometimes Aberdeen shows Sammie her intensions silently, and Sammie doesn't like it so she growls/hisses.

We witnessed something yesterday where Sammie was high up on a scratch post, Aberdeen was hyper and ran up to the same tier as Sammie, and she got a good smacking and a hiss. Aberdeen hopped down a level, but still within Sammie's reach, and she got smacked and hissed at again until Aberdeen jumped off.

At this point, it's really too late to scale back... DH and I agree that dialing things back would be "postponing the inevitable". Sammie, to us, has always been a cat that basically needs to get over her issues. I still try to keep up with the positive associations, like petting her when she's sitting calmly cloes to Aberdeen, or feeding them treats together. She's extremely lazy so it's still hard to get them to play together.

Just needed to quickly vent here. My ultimate goal is to have all 3 cats be able to lodge in one room together at the feline inn we bring them to when we go on vacation (we do not like leaving them at home because we don't have anyone who can check on them and they get fed raw food 2x daily). At this time, I doubt that can happen - it'll likely be September before that even happens, but I'm kind of sad to think that if Sammie can't tolerate Aberdeen, we'll always have to get them separate rooms...
 
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calicosrspecial

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Hey everyone...just thought I'd provide an update. No real progress, I'm getting a bit frustrated at where things are at because I feel like we've hit a plateau.

Aberdeen, being immature and young, still follows Rosie everywhere and tries to rub against her and head butt her multiple times a day. Rosie will tolerate some of it, and she's usually good with just hanging out close to Aberdeen, but usually the continued attempts by A results in a good smack (more like a neck hold?) and a hiss from Rosie. Not a big deal, we see those hanging out quite a bit without issues. And after the hissing and the smack, everything returns to normal.

My biggest issue is still Sammie. She still frequently growls whenever Aberdeen is near and she doesn't like it, or if Aberdeen plops herself down (like close to Sammie in a sunny spot in the house), Sammie will continually hiss at her. It only results in a smack if Aberdeen gets closer...most of the time, Sammie either stops, or just leaves. It's not all the time though... sometimes Aberdeen will pass by without incident...or be close by without Sammie reacting at all. It's almost like sometimes Aberdeen shows Sammie her intensions silently, and Sammie doesn't like it so she growls/hisses.

We witnessed something yesterday where Sammie was high up on a scratch post, Aberdeen was hyper and ran up to the same tier as Sammie, and she got a good smacking and a hiss. Aberdeen hopped down a level, but still within Sammie's reach, and she got smacked and hissed at again until Aberdeen jumped off.

At this point, it's really too late to scale back... DH and I agree that dialing things back would be "postponing the inevitable". Sammie, to us, has always been a cat that basically needs to get over her issues. I still try to keep up with the positive associations, like petting her when she's sitting calmly cloes to Aberdeen, or feeding them treats together. She's extremely lazy so it's still hard to get them to play together.

Just needed to quickly vent here. My ultimate goal is to have all 3 cats be able to lodge in one room together at the feline inn we bring them to when we go on vacation (we do not like leaving them at home because we don't have anyone who can check on them and they get fed raw food 2x daily). At this time, I doubt that can happen - it'll likely be September before that even happens, but I'm kind of sad to think that if Sammie can't tolerate Aberdeen, we'll always have to get them separate rooms...
"Hey everyone...just thought I'd provide an update." - Ok, let's take a look.

"No real progress," - VERY common.

" I'm getting a bit frustrated at where things are at because I feel like we've hit a plateau." - Try not to get frustrated. Plateaus and even steps back are VERY common.

"Aberdeen, being immature and young, still follows Rosie everywhere and tries to rub against her and head butt her multiple times a day." - Aberdeen loves. Great sign.

" Rosie will tolerate some of it, and she's usually good with just hanging out close to Aberdeen, " - Great

"but usually the continued attempts by A results in a good smack (more like a neck hold?) and a hiss from Rosie." - That is normal and "teaching of manners" moment.

" Not a big deal, we see those hanging out quite a bit without issues." - THAT is the key. IF there were real issues we would be seeing totally different things.

"And after the hissing and the smack, everything returns to normal." - Great. THIS tells us it is all about teaching manners.

"My biggest issue is still Sammie. She still frequently growls whenever Aberdeen is near and she doesn't like it, or if Aberdeen plops herself down (like close to Sammie in a sunny spot in the house), Sammie will continually hiss at her. It only results in a smack if Aberdeen gets closer...most of the time, Sammie either stops, or just leaves. It's not all the time though... sometimes Aberdeen will pass by without incident...or be close by without Sammie reacting at all. It's almost like sometimes Aberdeen shows Sammie her intensions silently, and Sammie doesn't like it so she growls/hisses." - Ok, this is totally normal and fine. Sammie is accepting. Sammie just doesn't totally trust yet. BUT Sammie is not escalating AND Aberdeen is respecting. So this is totally fine.

"We witnessed something yesterday where Sammie was high up on a scratch post, Aberdeen was hyper and ran up to the same tier as Sammie, and she got a good smacking and a hiss. Aberdeen hopped down a level, but still within Sammie's reach, and she got smacked and hissed at again until Aberdeen jumped off." - That is totally fine. Again, it is just "teaching manners". Since there isn't total trust yet they are working it out. BUT the positives are Sammie is not escalating AND Aberdeen is not escalating. Just reassure them that "all is ok". IF there were real issues there would be escalation, real fighting, abnormal behavior after the incident etc. I know it is less than ideal, frustrating BUT they are working it out. Just keep reassuring them and do some positive association (food, treats) and encourage positive encounters (which they are having).

"At this point, it's really too late to scale back... " - There is no need to scale back at all. If this is the "worst" of it it is VERY good. We would worry IF they are really fighting and if there was abnormal behavior after the "incidents" like avoiding, hiding, etc. I am not reading any of that.

"DH and I agree that dialing things back would be "postponing the inevitable". " - And there is no need to. It probably would only hurt the situation.

"Sammie, to us, has always been a cat that basically needs to get over her issues." - Sammie is doing amazingly well in my opinion especially if she has some trust issues. Sammie is accepting just not totally yet. BUT she is absolutely doign great.

"I still try to keep up with the positive associations, like petting her when she's sitting calmly cloes to Aberdeen, or feeding them treats together." - PERFECT!!! GREAT job!!

"She's extremely lazy so it's still hard to get them to play together." - That is ok. Play is not at all necessary.

"Just needed to quickly vent here." - I am glad you did. Even if it was bad news it is good to address any concerns. BUT I don;t see any reasons why you should have any concerns.

"My ultimate goal is to have all 3 cats be able to lodge in one room together at the feline inn we bring them to when we go on vacation (we do not like leaving them at home because we don't have anyone who can check on them and they get fed raw food 2x daily)." - Change can be disconcerting to cats so there could be issues but we'll do everything in our power to make that happen. When will they being going to their Feline Inn?

" At this time, I doubt that can happen " - Hmmmm, I am not so sure but you are closer to the situation. I think they would be fine given what I am reading BUT I am not seeing everything.

"- it'll likely be September before that even happens," - Ok, you answered my question as to when. I think that is absolutely doable.

" but I'm kind of sad to think that if Sammie can't tolerate Aberdeen," - I understand but Sammie does tolerate Aberdeen for the most part (they can be together without incident SO if they can do it every so often they can get there more often.

" we'll always have to get them separate rooms..." - I understand but I don't get a sense of that as a concern. I do (and have done) A LOT of intros and this is on the excellent side of the scale. I have seen all the troubling signs in intros and I just don't see any of them in yours.

I am actually ecstatic at where you are. Yes, we have a little more work but the cats are doing their part really well. I am not at all worried but let's continue doing the things to help make a bit more progress to get them a little more trusting. Sometimes all it is is time and I suspect that will be the case in your situation. On the path they are on time will solve it (with all you have been doing).

Keep up the great work!!!
 
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kghia

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"Hey everyone...just thought I'd provide an update." - Ok, let's take a look.

"No real progress," - VERY common.

" I'm getting a bit frustrated at where things are at because I feel like we've hit a plateau." - Try not to get frustrated. Plateaus and even steps back are VERY common.

"Aberdeen, being immature and young, still follows Rosie everywhere and tries to rub against her and head butt her multiple times a day." - Aberdeen loves. Great sign.

" Rosie will tolerate some of it, and she's usually good with just hanging out close to Aberdeen, " - Great

"but usually the continued attempts by A results in a good smack (more like a neck hold?) and a hiss from Rosie." - That is normal and "teaching of manners" moment.

" Not a big deal, we see those hanging out quite a bit without issues." - THAT is the key. IF there were real issues we would be seeing totally different things.

"And after the hissing and the smack, everything returns to normal." - Great. THIS tells us it is all about teaching manners.

"My biggest issue is still Sammie. She still frequently growls whenever Aberdeen is near and she doesn't like it, or if Aberdeen plops herself down (like close to Sammie in a sunny spot in the house), Sammie will continually hiss at her. It only results in a smack if Aberdeen gets closer...most of the time, Sammie either stops, or just leaves. It's not all the time though... sometimes Aberdeen will pass by without incident...or be close by without Sammie reacting at all. It's almost like sometimes Aberdeen shows Sammie her intensions silently, and Sammie doesn't like it so she growls/hisses." - Ok, this is totally normal and fine. Sammie is accepting. Sammie just doesn't totally trust yet. BUT Sammie is not escalating AND Aberdeen is respecting. So this is totally fine.

"We witnessed something yesterday where Sammie was high up on a scratch post, Aberdeen was hyper and ran up to the same tier as Sammie, and she got a good smacking and a hiss. Aberdeen hopped down a level, but still within Sammie's reach, and she got smacked and hissed at again until Aberdeen jumped off." - That is totally fine. Again, it is just "teaching manners". Since there isn't total trust yet they are working it out. BUT the positives are Sammie is not escalating AND Aberdeen is not escalating. Just reassure them that "all is ok". IF there were real issues there would be escalation, real fighting, abnormal behavior after the incident etc. I know it is less than ideal, frustrating BUT they are working it out. Just keep reassuring them and do some positive association (food, treats) and encourage positive encounters (which they are having).

"At this point, it's really too late to scale back... " - There is no need to scale back at all. If this is the "worst" of it it is VERY good. We would worry IF they are really fighting and if there was abnormal behavior after the "incidents" like avoiding, hiding, etc. I am not reading any of that.

"DH and I agree that dialing things back would be "postponing the inevitable". " - And there is no need to. It probably would only hurt the situation.

"Sammie, to us, has always been a cat that basically needs to get over her issues." - Sammie is doing amazingly well in my opinion especially if she has some trust issues. Sammie is accepting just not totally yet. BUT she is absolutely doign great.

"I still try to keep up with the positive associations, like petting her when she's sitting calmly cloes to Aberdeen, or feeding them treats together." - PERFECT!!! GREAT job!!

"She's extremely lazy so it's still hard to get them to play together." - That is ok. Play is not at all necessary.

"Just needed to quickly vent here." - I am glad you did. Even if it was bad news it is good to address any concerns. BUT I don;t see any reasons why you should have any concerns.

"My ultimate goal is to have all 3 cats be able to lodge in one room together at the feline inn we bring them to when we go on vacation (we do not like leaving them at home because we don't have anyone who can check on them and they get fed raw food 2x daily)." - Change can be disconcerting to cats so there could be issues but we'll do everything in our power to make that happen. When will they being going to their Feline Inn?

" At this time, I doubt that can happen " - Hmmmm, I am not so sure but you are closer to the situation. I think they would be fine given what I am reading BUT I am not seeing everything.

"- it'll likely be September before that even happens," - Ok, you answered my question as to when. I think that is absolutely doable.

" but I'm kind of sad to think that if Sammie can't tolerate Aberdeen," - I understand but Sammie does tolerate Aberdeen for the most part (they can be together without incident SO if they can do it every so often they can get there more often.

" we'll always have to get them separate rooms..." - I understand but I don't get a sense of that as a concern. I do (and have done) A LOT of intros and this is on the excellent side of the scale. I have seen all the troubling signs in intros and I just don't see any of them in yours.

I am actually ecstatic at where you are. Yes, we have a little more work but the cats are doing their part really well. I am not at all worried but let's continue doing the things to help make a bit more progress to get them a little more trusting. Sometimes all it is is time and I suspect that will be the case in your situation. On the path they are on time will solve it (with all you have been doing).

Keep up the great work!!!
Sigh C calicosrspecial thank you so much for your positivity and support. I think I get overly dramatic and overanalyzing things. You're right, ultimately they're doing great, it's just taking Sammie FAR more time than Rosie to fully accept Aberdeen, and that's just who she is. DH and I have actually left all 3 cats in the finished basement when we go for walks (longest was up to 4 hours) and all 3 cats seemed fine when we returned. We always joke, "OK.... are we coming home 3 cats, or 2?" but are always happy to see everyone doing fine when we walk through the door.

The Feline Inn stay won't be until September at the earliest, based on our current travel plans. We don't need to take them to our catsitter unless we'll be away for more than 24 hours. So, there's still plenty of time for them to get used to each other...

Honestly, I think sometimes Sammie just growls for the sake of it. We often see Aberdeen completely not react to her growling. So whether the growl is not threatening or Aberdeen is completely not respecting of Sammie's growl....who knows?!
 

calicosrspecial

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Sigh C calicosrspecial thank you so much for your positivity and support. I think I get overly dramatic and overanalyzing things. You're right, ultimately they're doing great, it's just taking Sammie FAR more time than Rosie to fully accept Aberdeen, and that's just who she is. DH and I have actually left all 3 cats in the finished basement when we go for walks (longest was up to 4 hours) and all 3 cats seemed fine when we returned. We always joke, "OK.... are we coming home 3 cats, or 2?" but are always happy to see everyone doing fine when we walk through the door.

The Feline Inn stay won't be until September at the earliest, based on our current travel plans. We don't need to take them to our catsitter unless we'll be away for more than 24 hours. So, there's still plenty of time for them to get used to each other...

Honestly, I think sometimes Sammie just growls for the sake of it. We often see Aberdeen completely not react to her growling. So whether the growl is not threatening or Aberdeen is completely not respecting of Sammie's growl....who knows?!
"Sigh C calicosrspecial thank you so much for your positivity and support." - Awwww, you are welcome but it is easy to be positives with facts like yours.

"I think I get overly dramatic and overanalyzing things." - Totally normal, happens all the time. When we care we tend to want the best and sometimes can't see the nuance as well.

"You're right, ultimately they're doing great," - Agreed

"it's just taking Sammie FAR more time than Rosie to fully accept Aberdeen, and that's just who she is." - Exactly. Each cats goes at their own pace. And it is funny, even with my own cats I have an idea of how it will go but sometimes it is exactly opposite. The key is to observe and address any issues. Sammie is doing great, let's just keep up the basics (positive association, positive encounter).

"DH and I have actually left all 3 cats in the finished basement when we go for walks (longest was up to 4 hours)" - THAT actually surprises me. SO in your heart you kinda know they are doing well.

" and all 3 cats seemed fine when we returned." - I am not surprised given what you have told me. Aberdeen is really good and diplomatic so that is very helpful.

" We always joke, "OK.... are we coming home 3 cats, or 2?" " - Yes, but it doesn't seem like a big worry but that is always in the back of our minds.

"but are always happy to see everyone doing fine when we walk through the door." - :)

"The Feline Inn stay won't be until September at the earliest, based on our current travel plans. We don't need to take them to our catsitter unless we'll be away for more than 24 hours. So, there's still plenty of time for them to get used to each other..." - Yes, I am not at all worried.

"Honestly, I think sometimes Sammie just growls for the sake of it." - Very well could be. I am helping someone now with a growly cat and I had a feral in my colony that growled at me all the time when starting to feed her. I was like "whatever" and just went on. It was just her. Growling is communication and as long as it is respected (which Aberdeen does) and it doesn't escalate then it is not worrying really.

" We often see Aberdeen completely not react to her growling." - And THAT is VERY telling. Aberdeen knows how serious it really is (just like me with the feral in my colony).

" So whether the growl is not threatening or Aberdeen is completely not respecting of Sammie's growl....who knows?!" - I suspect is not not really threatening. AND Aberdeen is not pushing it either so probably a bit of both.

I think things are fine. Just keep up the great work. IF there are issues that pop up we can take care of them. But I don't expect any issues really, they all are doing great.
 
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kghia

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"Sigh C calicosrspecial thank you so much for your positivity and support." - Awwww, you are welcome but it is easy to be positives with facts like yours.

"I think I get overly dramatic and overanalyzing things." - Totally normal, happens all the time. When we care we tend to want the best and sometimes can't see the nuance as well.

"You're right, ultimately they're doing great," - Agreed

"it's just taking Sammie FAR more time than Rosie to fully accept Aberdeen, and that's just who she is." - Exactly. Each cats goes at their own pace. And it is funny, even with my own cats I have an idea of how it will go but sometimes it is exactly opposite. The key is to observe and address any issues. Sammie is doing great, let's just keep up the basics (positive association, positive encounter).

"DH and I have actually left all 3 cats in the finished basement when we go for walks (longest was up to 4 hours)" - THAT actually surprises me. SO in your heart you kinda know they are doing well.

" and all 3 cats seemed fine when we returned." - I am not surprised given what you have told me. Aberdeen is really good and diplomatic so that is very helpful.

" We always joke, "OK.... are we coming home 3 cats, or 2?" " - Yes, but it doesn't seem like a big worry but that is always in the back of our minds.

"but are always happy to see everyone doing fine when we walk through the door." - :)

"The Feline Inn stay won't be until September at the earliest, based on our current travel plans. We don't need to take them to our catsitter unless we'll be away for more than 24 hours. So, there's still plenty of time for them to get used to each other..." - Yes, I am not at all worried.

"Honestly, I think sometimes Sammie just growls for the sake of it." - Very well could be. I am helping someone now with a growly cat and I had a feral in my colony that growled at me all the time when starting to feed her. I was like "whatever" and just went on. It was just her. Growling is communication and as long as it is respected (which Aberdeen does) and it doesn't escalate then it is not worrying really.

" We often see Aberdeen completely not react to her growling." - And THAT is VERY telling. Aberdeen knows how serious it really is (just like me with the feral in my colony).

" So whether the growl is not threatening or Aberdeen is completely not respecting of Sammie's growl....who knows?!" - I suspect is not not really threatening. AND Aberdeen is not pushing it either so probably a bit of both.

I think things are fine. Just keep up the great work. IF there are issues that pop up we can take care of them. But I don't expect any issues really, they all are doing great.
Aberdeen is 8 months old tomorrow, and I hear that's the time of a kitten's life where they're the most confident. I feel like that is working in Aberdeen's favour ;)

Shortly after I vented yesterday, DH and I came back from a grocery trip and Sammie quietly sat with Aberdeen watching DH put groceries away for a good 10 minutes... no hissing, no growling. Both just sat there. Of course, I went to reward this with a treat and once the treats were out and Aberdeen was going absolutely NUTS, THAT'S when Sammie growled 😹

I guess I wouldn't blame a 50-something year old human for getting annoyed at a high-energy, bouncy pre-teen human!

Aberdeen's also recently started doing this thing where she plops herself close to and facing away from Sammie so that Sammie can sniff her... quite often, Sammie will sniff and sniff without issue, until she gets too much sniff in and lets out this loud hiss and growl. She's a strange one :dunno:
 

calicosrspecial

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Aberdeen is 8 months old tomorrow, and I hear that's the time of a kitten's life where they're the most confident. I feel like that is working in Aberdeen's favour ;)

Shortly after I vented yesterday, DH and I came back from a grocery trip and Sammie quietly sat with Aberdeen watching DH put groceries away for a good 10 minutes... no hissing, no growling. Both just sat there. Of course, I went to reward this with a treat and once the treats were out and Aberdeen was going absolutely NUTS, THAT'S when Sammie growled 😹

I guess I wouldn't blame a 50-something year old human for getting annoyed at a high-energy, bouncy pre-teen human!

Aberdeen's also recently started doing this thing where she plops herself close to and facing away from Sammie so that Sammie can sniff her... quite often, Sammie will sniff and sniff without issue, until she gets too much sniff in and lets out this loud hiss and growl. She's a strange one :dunno:
"Aberdeen is 8 months old tomorrow," - Awwwwwwwwww

" and I hear that's the time of a kitten's life where they're the most confident." - Yes,

" I feel like that is working in Aberdeen's favour ;)" - Agreed that and I think the personality. Aberdeen is REALLY good.

"Shortly after I vented yesterday, DH and I came back from a grocery trip and Sammie quietly sat with Aberdeen watching DH put groceries away for a good 10 minutes... no hissing, no growling. Both just sat there." - Awwwwwwwww, yep. They are just fine.

" Of course, I went to reward this with a treat and once the treats were out and Aberdeen was going absolutely NUTS, THAT'S when Sammie growled 😹" - Yep, that will happen. Sammie is saying "calm down". Hahahahaha

"I guess I wouldn't blame a 50-something year old human for getting annoyed at a high-energy, bouncy pre-teen human!" - EXACTLY!!! Cat relationships are very much like human. We can get annoyed, upset, angry but the baseline love gets us over that and back to normal.

"Aberdeen's also recently started doing this thing where she plops herself close to and facing away from Sammie so that Sammie can sniff her... quite often," - Awwwwwww. That is a sign of trust. Saying "I trust you to not even look at you". Because no cat that really thought the other cat was a threat would ever look away and be vulnerable.

" Sammie will sniff and sniff without issue, until she gets too much sniff in and lets out this loud hiss and growl." - Yep, VERY common. Maybe an "alright, now get outta here"? Hahahahaha

"She's a strange one :dunno: " - That is actually very common.

Is Aberdeen like "whatever" when Sammie gives that big hiss? And just walks away?

Aberdeen is trying to let Sammie know she doesn't mean harm which is VERY helpful and probably part of the reason they are doing so well.
 
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kghia

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"Aberdeen is 8 months old tomorrow," - Awwwwwwwwww

" and I hear that's the time of a kitten's life where they're the most confident." - Yes,

" I feel like that is working in Aberdeen's favour ;)" - Agreed that and I think the personality. Aberdeen is REALLY good.

"Shortly after I vented yesterday, DH and I came back from a grocery trip and Sammie quietly sat with Aberdeen watching DH put groceries away for a good 10 minutes... no hissing, no growling. Both just sat there." - Awwwwwwwww, yep. They are just fine.

" Of course, I went to reward this with a treat and once the treats were out and Aberdeen was going absolutely NUTS, THAT'S when Sammie growled 😹" - Yep, that will happen. Sammie is saying "calm down". Hahahahaha

"I guess I wouldn't blame a 50-something year old human for getting annoyed at a high-energy, bouncy pre-teen human!" - EXACTLY!!! Cat relationships are very much like human. We can get annoyed, upset, angry but the baseline love gets us over that and back to normal.

"Aberdeen's also recently started doing this thing where she plops herself close to and facing away from Sammie so that Sammie can sniff her... quite often," - Awwwwwww. That is a sign of trust. Saying "I trust you to not even look at you". Because no cat that really thought the other cat was a threat would ever look away and be vulnerable.

" Sammie will sniff and sniff without issue, until she gets too much sniff in and lets out this loud hiss and growl." - Yep, VERY common. Maybe an "alright, now get outta here"? Hahahahaha

"She's a strange one :dunno: " - That is actually very common.

Is Aberdeen like "whatever" when Sammie gives that big hiss? And just walks away?

Aberdeen is trying to let Sammie know she doesn't mean harm which is VERY helpful and probably part of the reason they are doing so well.
Yep! Aberdeen very rarely reacts negatively to Sammie’s growling and hissing. Sometimes it’s almost like she doesn’t hear her :disappointed: and will continue sitting where she was or keep doing what she’s doing.

Other times she will look at us wide eyed when she’s hisses at, walk away from Sammie, then try again in a few minutes.

even when she gets smacked, she only moves just far enough to avoid getting smacked again. She’s brave and persistent, that girl!
 
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