Two turkeys are looking at the sky at dusk and one asks the other:
„Do you believe in life after Christmas?“
„Do you believe in life after Christmas?“
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Post Your Best "groaner" Joke
- Thread starter Jem
- Start Date
Did you hear about the guy who invented Tic Tacs?
They say he made a mint.
They say he made a mint.
You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.
Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? The outside
What do you call an evil turkey? Poultry-Geist
Fruit comes from a fruit tree, so where does turkey come from?
A poul-tree.
Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? The outside
What do you call an evil turkey? Poultry-Geist
Fruit comes from a fruit tree, so where does turkey come from?
A poul-tree.
Q. Paul, why do Harley riders wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles so easily.
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles so easily.
Q: What do you call a snowman with a six pack?
A: An abdominal snowman.
Q. What’s Santa Claus’s favorite type of potato chip?
A. Crisp Pringles!
Q. Why do Dasher and Dancer love coffee?
A. Because they’re Santa’s star bucks!
A: An abdominal snowman.
Q. What’s Santa Claus’s favorite type of potato chip?
A. Crisp Pringles!
Q. Why do Dasher and Dancer love coffee?
A. Because they’re Santa’s star bucks!
I posted this in the past, but I think it should be included in this thread.
This is an actual bumper sticker I saw in the 1990s. Obviously a professional cat lady!
"If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on my cats!"
This is an actual bumper sticker I saw in the 1990s. Obviously a professional cat lady!
"If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on my cats!"
Wonderful!
I like this one, too.
If the earth were flat, cats would've knocked everything off it.
Corny joke warning, read at your own peril:
Smart aleck boy asks, "What does dinosaur meat taste like, grandpa?"
Old man answers, "I forget... but I think there's some in the freezer if you'd like to try it."
Smart aleck boy asks, "What does dinosaur meat taste like, grandpa?"
Old man answers, "I forget... but I think there's some in the freezer if you'd like to try it."
Sign in an Atlanta police station:
"In God we trust—all others we polygraph."
"In God we trust—all others we polygraph."
Sign in a store:
"Our credit manager is Helen Waitt.
If you want credit, go to Helen Waitt."
"Our credit manager is Helen Waitt.
If you want credit, go to Helen Waitt."
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No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: "You stay here; I'll go on a head.."
A backward poet writes inverse.
A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: "You stay here; I'll go on a head.."
A backward poet writes inverse.
Two blondes who worked in the same office were telling their co-workers that they were going bear hunting over the week-end. By Monday morning everyone could hardly wait for them to come in and tell about their hunting trip. "Well", they said, "we were so disappointed. We got almost there and saw a road sign that said BEAR LEFT so we just turned around and came home".
Guy said:
The other night I took two viagra and two sleeping pills before bed.
I had a hard time going to sleep.....
The other night I took two viagra and two sleeping pills before bed.
I had a hard time going to sleep.....
From an actual ad:
HUMMERS!
IF IT'S IN STOCK . . . WE HAVE IT!
Sorry hadda pee myself over that one.
HUMMERS!
IF IT'S IN STOCK . . . WE HAVE IT!
Sorry hadda pee myself over that one.
And, an apparent actual headline:
ALZHEIMER'S CENTER PREPARES FOR AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER
ALZHEIMER'S CENTER PREPARES FOR AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER
Idiocy reigns! I (seriously) just bought a refrigerator thermometer. On the package it says, "Hand was only. Do not immerse in water. If the thermometer does not clean easily, soak in dish soap."
Sounds more like bad English.
Ah, yeah, an ad from a long while back:
"Karate, Kung Fu, Kendo and other marital arts."
