Post Adoption Regret

[LeighC03]

I’m in desperate need of some help. I adopted my now 4 year old Tuxedo cat about 3 years ago and she’s need a dream. Doesn’t cry, uses the litter box, cuddles and sleeps with me, an all around great cat. My mom thought that she needed a friend. I went to a local shelter and the volunteer said a kitten would be better for Briar to get along with. I impulsively adopted a 3 month old kitten and now am feeling regret. I feel like I don’t have the patience for the kitten and she’s underfoot all the time and getting into things. I’m at work for 10 hours a day and have to put her in my bathroom when I’m not home. I feel so frustrated some days I just want to cry and avoid coming home. Does it get better?

 

[susanm9006]

How long ago did you adopt her? It really isn’t good for a kitten to spend ten hours a day in the bathroom. She needs more room to run and play. And yes, kittens do require time and patience. If you really really feel you don’t have enough of either it is better to rehome her while she is still a kitten than to wait.

 

[misty8723]

What kind of place did you adopt her from? Is it one that is willing to take a cat back if it isn't a good fit for your household? It's not good for the kitten to be locked in a bathroom alone all day.

 

[rubysmama]

Hello and welcome to TCS. Sorry your new kitten adoption is causing "adopter's remorse". That's not uncommon, BTW.

When did you adopt the kitten? Has Briar met her yet?

And, yes, it does get better. Eventually. And there's nothing wrong with leaving a kitten in a room by itself when you're out, as long as they have food, water, litter box, toys, etc. However, rather than a bathroom, a kitten-proofed bedroom, with a bit more space would be a preferable "kitten room".

 

[LeighC03]

I’ve had her two weeks and have just introduced her to Briar. The kitten, Belle, has tried to bite her tail and jump on her and Briar hisses abs growls. Now Briar doesn’t come down from the cat tree and if she does, she runs into the bedroom.

 

[kashmir64]

I'm going to be the bad person here. If the shelter you got the kitten from will let you take her back, I would. If you still think Briar needs a friend, then get one that is at least a 3 yr old.
However, most cats don't need or want a playmate. They are happy to have you all to themselves.
If you do decide to keep the kitten, then yes, it will get better. With patience and a lot of time.
Don't feel bad, kittens are not for everyone.

 

[Libby.]

It's been my experience that adult cats generally don't warm up to kittens right away. I rescued 3 kittens (at 5 weeks) from a feral momma and my adult cats would not have anything to do with them. When I would let them out of the powder room into the living room to run around, play and explore the reactions of my guys was hilarious. They'd stroll into the room, see the kittens running around, stop in mid stroll and turn around and race up the stairs to get away from them! I found homes for two of the kittens and kept Patches. The boys eventually stopped racing from her like she had cooties and Patches came to adore Bounder. They were like an old married couple. If Bounder didn't come home when I first called everyone in for dinner, Patches would run out to the stoop and look and wait for him to come home. At night when I went to bed, if Bounder jumped up to sleep with me, Patches would jump up and settle down right next to him.

Two weeks really isn't much time at all for Briar and Bell to bond. Bell is just trying to play with Briar. Briar needs to set boundaries with Bell. And locking Bell up in the bathroom all day doesn't give either of them the opportunity to figure things out. What happens on the weekend? Is Bell out of the bathroom 24/7?

 

[Elphaba09]

Is there a way that you can screen the bathroom off so that they can interact safely? How did you introduce them? Did they get to interact and get used to each other's smells before you put them together? Is it possible for you to get a couple of days off in a row? Perhaps, you could spend that time interacting with both of them at the same time?

It sounds as if they are doing better than you think. If, however, you really do not feel you can give the kitten the time it needs to adjust, you may want to consider finding it a good home.

An older cat and a kitten can get along. Our nine cats range from one year to 15 years. The one-year-old came to us last year when he was almost 5 weeks old. He started jumping on the other cats as soon as he was well enough to run around on his own and had been introduced to them all. They adjusted at their own rate; however, he is closest to the second youngest, a 4-year-old female; an almost 7-year-old female, and a six-year-old male.

 

[rosegold]

Yes, it does get better. I’m glad I have Clove and she is a great cat (now about 10 months old and calmed down a lot). She is also a wonderful companion for Chilli. But in hindsight, adopting her at 3 months old was impulsive and there were definitely some hardships and frustrations along the way because she was so rambunctious and mischievous.

Personally, I would work on getting your house 100% kitten-proofed so you don’t have to lock her up. Set up a solid routine to tire the baby out. Give it some time with the two cats. Chilli was stressed and annoyed by the new kitten at first and I worried I made her unhappy, but now they play and groom each other all the time and get along perfectly. It does get better, but I feel for you! I hope you can make the best decision for yourself and your little cat family.

 

[esco98]

It does get better but it takes patience. I went through the same thing with my cat when he was in the kitten stage. Even put him in the bathroom like you’ve done. However, I quickly learned it’s better to kitten proof the living room area than to keep em cooped up. The kitten needs to get used to it’s environment and let out energy. It might suck for a little bit but after a week or 2 everything should be better

 

[Maria Bayote]

Like toddlers, kittens' energy are unlimited and will test your patience. But in time, it will wear off, same like humans. So it will get better.

If you are continually feeling the way you do, it is much better to find her a much loving and accepting home while the kitten is still young and will easily be accepted by any adult cat in her new household.

Hissing and growling are normal for cats, so what you observe in Briar is normal. Soon the two of them will get along fine, if you allow them to. Sometimes cats also pick up their owner's stress and frustrations, so coming home everyday and feeling this way won't help the current situation you are in.

And as mentioned by our TCS family members, keeping a kitten in the bathroom for hours is not good for her as she has no chance to be, well, a kitten.

I hope things work out for you and for your cats. Just look at her playing and doing all these mischief and see the funny side of it.

Hang in there.

 

[rubysmama]

I’ve had her two weeks and have just introduced her to Briar. The kitten, Belle, has tried to bite her tail and jump on her and Briar hisses abs growls. Now Briar doesn’t come down from the cat tree and if she does, she runs into the bedroom.

Hissing and growling from Briar isn't bad. It's just her telling the kitten to "back off". As long as it doesn't progress to fighting (fur flying/blood) and that neither the kitten or Briar seem stressed or scared, all is going well.

In addition to the great replies you've gotten, I'll post links to some TCS articles that might be helpful.

9 Tips That Will Help Your Kitten Adapt To A New Apartment
Kitten Proofing Your Home: 13 Practical Tips | TheCatSite

How To Introduce A Kitten To An Older Cat | TheCatSite
How To Successfully Introduce Cats: The Ultimate Guide | TheCatSite (this one shows baby gates stacked to block a doorway so cats can see each other during the introductions)

Is Your Cat Stressed Out? | TheCatSite

Good luck. What's the kitten's name, btw?

Can you post pics? Would love to see Briar, and the mischievous newcomer.
How To Add A Picture To Your Forum Post | TheCatSite

 

[LeighC03]

 

[esco98]

They’re so pretty!

 

[Libby.]

My Patches is a tortie. I brought Mouse, Leo and Loki into the house 3 years ago as kittens. Mouse and Leo are brother and sister and were about 5-6 weeks old and Loki was about 7. The three of them bonded together even though Loki was from a different rescue. My cats, Bounder and Patches avoided them at first too. We lost Bounder a year ago at 16 years. Patches is 14. They eventually accepted the kittens as long as the kittens didn't get on their nerves. Now that the kittens are older and calmer, Patches grooms them and even naps near them.

 

[rubysmama]

Awww... they're both adorable.

 

[Sidewinder]

Just caught up to this thread... as a rule, I always adopt kittens in pairs, that way they'll have company & a playmate their age. They don't have to be litter mates either, as long as they have a companion with the same level of energy. Foisting a single kitten with boundless energy upon an older, more sedate cat can be problematic... any way you can rescue another kitten? That way, the two youngsters can play with each other more often, giving the older cat a break. Just my $.02, FWIW. Good luck to you & your kittehs!!!

 

[kashmir64]

The thing is...what do YOU want to do. No where in your original post did you say that you wanted to expand your catdom. You said your mom thought it a good idea.
You need to decide whether you are willing to put in the time and effort of a kitten. If not, return her before she gets older and consider an older cat.
If you do want this, then realize it's not going to be all roses for some time.
She is adorable, she will get another home quickly. - IF, that's what you decide.

 

[terestrife]

in the beginning of getting my cat Kitty, i considered taking her back. the though of the responsibility of having a pet freaked me out. Cats need time and attention just like dogs do. After a few weeks i fell in love and found the patience to get used to being a pet mom.

its up to you, if you want to put the time and effort to introduce your cats, and learn how to manage a two pet household.

 

[LeighC03]

Thought I’d give a little update. Thank you to everyone who responded. I took all your words to heart and did a lot of thinking. With a lot of guilt and heartbreak I’ve decided to take Belle back to the shelter. I feel horrible that I took her home before realizing the enormity of responsibility that it takes to take care of a kitten. And realizing my lifestyle doesn’t fit with raising a kitten. I guess the best lessons are learned the hard way. Thanks again for all your responses.