pls help!

yogiandpaulie

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2 cats who don’t get along after 2 years
tried everything, Jackson galaxy method, medication, both are neutered, feliway, compressive calming jackets, putting one cat in carrier, switching rooms/scents, treats at the same time, food at the same time. The existing male cate (Yogi, 7) hates the new cat (male, Paulie 10). Paulie will lay down in front of yogi when we have had them both in the same room at the same timeX yogi screams crouches and attacks Paulie. He’s otherwise a non aggressive cat. I have a baby coming in 2 months and I’m completely overwhelmed by the situation. I have no idea what to do and I don’t think I can rehome the new cat as he is an elderly cat on a special diet and meds for IBD. I’m totally at a loss and when they fight it completely wrecks me and stresses me out. My partner feels like his is being “held hostage” by the cats bc we have to keep one of them locked up in the same room he works from home. It’s a mess and we are totally overwhelmed.
Any help would be appreciated.
 

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yogiandpaulie

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I’ve mentioned it but I can go in and ask specifically or give them a flier. :(
 

ArtNJ

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You can potentially rehome an elderly cat on some meds. My brother once rehomed a violent senior cat with diabetes, without lying about the condition. Some rescues specialize in cats with issues. Totally worth calling around. Conversely, we have some posters from various countries that can't even get vet care despite trying, so I'm assuming nothing -- but its worth a shot.

I know a lot more now, but years ago I had to do the separate lives thing with two cats. I just couldn't figure it out, and after the second biting incident, I realized it was in no ones interest to keep trying. There are well intentioned people that will say its never hopeless, but as a practical matter, sometimes you need to go in a different direction for the best interest of the humans AND pets.
 
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yogiandpaulie

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Thanks. Yeah it feels devastating to try to rehome Paulie but I’m just not sure we have any other options.
 

Alldara

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A ArtNJ I definitely agree, especially in cases when another big life change such as a baby is coming along soon. The cat could calm down only temporarily and I think even the calmest of people would struggle with the two separate cats plus newborn baby in yogiandpaulie yogiandpaulie 's case

Responsible rehoming is a perfectly viable option. You should not feel guilty for wanting what's best for everyone involved. The ongoing stress is not good for any of you.

If local rescues can't help, reach to ones even an hour or so away. Even try local wildlife refuges as they may have contacts. Rehoming a special needs cat just takes care. Calling is usually better than email in this case as it makes you harder to ignore.
 
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