Pls Help! I Think My Roommate Is Mistreating My Cat

[King of Persia]

hello!
I'm new to thecatsite and I really need some advice/help! I think my roommate is mistreating my cat and I don't know what to do, or how to fully prove that she's at fault. I don't want to say that she is abusing him, because I don't think that she is, but I know she not treating him well. Reasons ahead, please let me know if you have any information or advice besides getting a security camera, I need help! (also so sorry its gonna be long as heck)

Okay so my cat is a very calm boy, I got him in a couple years ago now and he is a giant love bug. I got him from a shelter so I don't know his full kitten-hood background, but he's never shown signs of abuse or mishandling in the past. About 7 or 8 months ago I moved into a new condo with new roommates . Roommate #1 I trust with my life, and most certainly my cat, while Roommate #2 not so much.
Reason 1:
About a month ago roommate #2 was complaining about my cat constantly going into her room and eating her house plants. So we got a squirt bottle for him, as its the only thing I've tried in the past that works for reprimanding him(although I'm already planning to use other methods of training bc apparently direct discipline isn't great for cats). But around this time I was talking with roommate #1 and I moved my hand and my cat flinched from my hand! Like he was expecting to be hit! I've never hit him, and he has never been skittish in this way ever before, I've never seen him flinch in 2+ years of having him ever. And I know roommate #1 would never hit him either. Also he made me stand with him while eating during this time, which he has done before but never without an obvisous reason (ex new dog in home).
Reason 2:
Recently my roommate blamed my cat for clawing up a portion of the carpet in her room. She gathered us around to show us and it was a pretty sizable chunk gone. The thing is I've caught him trapped in her room (the door closed) multiple times before, and the chunk of carpet is right at her door, on the inside of the door only. When I mentioned this she denied aggressively and said "that doesn't make sense because he never goes in here" (and yet he always eats her plants?? hah). To make a long story short I know exactly what day he was trapped and tore up the carpet (bc of how much he ate that night) and he was locked in there for her entire 8 hour shift. She also knows this because she got home before us and obviously would have found him trapped & away from his food and litter box for the entire day. (I hope he pooped in her room)
Reason 3: (this is like a 1/2 reason)
After about a month of moving in I overheard her on the phone with someone bragging about how she has my cat "trained" to come into the kitchen when she's in there because she always gives him human food. This upset me a lot at the time because she obviously knew I didn't like it (he's a bit chunky and I want him to be as healthy as can be). But more so I'm concerned that if she's willing to break that boundary of mine (and be proud of it!) What other boundaries is she willing to cross with no regards to me or my wishes :/

Every time I try to bring something up she denies it or tries to lie her way out of it. I know its not terrible now but I don't know what to do, and I'm scared its going to get worse. If anyone has had similar experiences or has advice please let me know! Thank you :,)

 

[daftcat75]

This roommate doesn't sound honest and you don't trust her. Roommates are replaceable.

 

[King of Persia]

This roommate doesn't sound honest and you don't trust her. Roommates are replaceable.

You made roommate #1 and I laugh! We think you might be on the right track, unfortunately

 

[daftcat75]

You made roommate #1 and I laugh! We think you might be on the right track, unfortunately

100% serious. If you can't trust her with the most vulnerable one in the home, boot her. I promise you will have this cat longer than this roommate. Take care of who matters here.

 

[King of Persia]

100% serious. If you can't trust her with the most vulnerable one in the home, boot her. I promise you will have this cat longer than this roommate. Take care of who matters here.

You are completely correct. I've never thought of him being the most vulnerable in the house :,) but you are absolutely right. Thank You!

 

[LTS3]

Not ideal, but can you confine the cat to your room until the roommate's lease is up? As long as the cat has some vertical space and a window and all the necessities, the cat will be fine. I know there are threads here on TCS about how to make a small space more enriching and comfortable for a cat.

 

[FeebysOwner]

Until such time that you can 'fix' the roommate issue, put a lock on your door - or change the lock on your door to one you can use with a key - and keep the cat in your room. It is by far better to confine your cat to your room than to allow him to be inflicted to abuse of any kind. On the note about enriching a small area -
How To Make Your Home Bigger (at Least For Your Cats) – TheCatSite Articles

You can also use cat music to drown out some of the possible noises your one roommate might make to try and freak out your cat through the door. David Teie's Music for Cats which is on Prime and Spotify, Cat In My Arms on Spotify and elsewhere, and RelaxMyCat. Members on this site swear by it for helping to calm a cat!

 

[Babypinkweeb]

My ex roommates never did anything to my cat, but I do not trust their living habits and standards so for the 1 year I lived with them I kept my cat in my room. He was perfectly fine there as I had everything he needed, food, water, vertical places, caves, litter box, etc. At another time in my life I also had to move back in with my parents where I also kept him in my bedroom for most of the time, only letting him out when I'm able to supervise him in the rest of the condo. I think if you are seriously worried about your cat's treatment and wellbeing, definitely make it a habit to keep them in your room whenever possible.

 

[Cat McCannon]

There's a reason Roommate #2 is #2 (insert scatological reference here).

If a roommate treated any of my children like that, they'd be gone. A roommate is just a roommate. A cat is family and dependent on you for a happy and secure home.

 

[John Perram]

The cat depends on you for his life. Boot the room mate.

 

[Kat0121]

The cat depends on you for his life. Boot the room mate.

I have to agree. The roommate needs to go.

 

[Sylvia Jones]

Get a camera to document what your roommate is doing Then use that documentation to confront roomate2 with roommate 1 also present IT will be hard to deny at that point maybe they will leave voluntarily If your cat is being hit you can threaten to bring charges Others on the site can recommend a inexpensive set up as I remember from past posts Always go with your gut feelings about something not being right

 

[IndyJones]

You can also try hiding the camera in a bookcase, houseplant or other inconspicuous area.

 

[fionasmom]

The cat has been hit. Years ago I rescued a dog from the streets of LA that I had seen being beaten. I kept her, and for the rest of her life that she lived with us in happiness and security, she lowered her head if anyone went to pat her. Very telling sign when an animal flinches.

I am not be completely understanding the part about the cat being trapped in her room and eating the plants, but it sounds like a set up to me.

The food issue is a huge boundary violation for you and your cat. The roommate sounds creepy and evil or to use grown up language sociopathic or psychopathic (no, they are not all on America's Most Wanted). You need to do whatever it takes to protect the cat from her and if possible eliminate her from your life. The bad news is that she might only be warming up with what she is doing to the cat.

If you need to confine him in your room with a lock as was suggested, do so. It is far more important that the cat be safe than that he have a larger space to roam in.

 

[Cat McCannon]

I wouldn't even wait. I wouldn't give #2 a chance to do further harm.

 

[KarenKat]

I agree that this roommate is not ideal , although I don’t think it is definitive that the roommate hit the cat. Our cats flinch from our feet, legs, arms, even sneezes and we are always joking that it’s because of all those times we’ve abused them - obviously not. While I agree this person is not adhering to boundaries and does not seem great for the welfare of your kitty, I think it’s unclear whether physical abuse occurred.

That being said, my husband used to have a roommate that constant lied about things, claimed the apartment complex received complaints about cat noises, agreed to watch the cats while my husband had a family emergency and never cleaned the litter boxes. Never harmed the cats to our knowledge but the behavior did escalate to threats of violence, drug use and irrational behavior. So worrisome early signs are something to pay attention to with someone you cohabitate with.

 

[zoes]

Get a camera to document what your roommate is doing Then use that documentation to confront roomate2 with roommate 1 also present IT will be hard to deny at that point maybe they will leave voluntarily If your cat is being hit you can threaten to bring charges Others on the site can recommend a inexpensive set up as I remember from past posts Always go with your gut feelings about something not being right

It sounds like any potential incidents are happening in the roommate's bedroom, so I don't think a camera would be wise (or legal).

 

[fionasmom]

This is probably a good point. The root of the solution is to protect the cat and take action from there for both of you, not just to try to have this on film.

 

[daftcat75]

I wouldn't bother with a camera. It's only likely to inflame the situation. You don't want it to escalate to retaliation. You don't trust her and you suspect she is dishonest. That should be enough to discuss her relocation. Until such time that she can move out, I agree with others that restricting her access to your cat, even if that means locking him up in your room, is the safe thing to do for everyone.

You could put a camera in your room to be certain that she isn't violating your privacy and disrespecting your wishes. This would be preferred to a lock on your door. You want your roommates or first responders to be able to evacuate your cat in the case of a fire or other emergency.

 

[cataholic07]

I would find a new roommate or move to be honest.