Pls don't hate me

Kora3

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Hey i just made this account as i write i feel like i wanna cry and my heart feel heavy idk even how to write a post here my sister is a very kind soul she cares for stray kittens alot give them food and water every day we have some of them living in the back yard after she gave them their meal now our doors are all metalic n heavy so she accidently closed it on the neck of a lil kitten he is really small and very fast he always sneak suddenly while the door is nearly fully closed he started choking we tried to help him breath but he died in the span of 5min or less it broke my heart seeing him die and my sister really broke down she reapeted i killed him several time crying alot her face became redish and ghostly white i want to help her get over it bcuz throwing all the blame on herself won't help anyone and i know she will remember him for the rest of her life can someone suggest something to help(i'm sorry my english us bad and my hand shaking writing this)
 

Caspers Human

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All I can say is... S#it happens.

I know that sounds coarse but, sometimes, you just gotta' face facts.... Cats die. There's nothing you can do.

Just for information sake... Five minutes is about the length of time a person or animal can survive with an obstructed airway.
The accident probably broke the kitten's neck and crushed its windpipe.

What I'm trying to say is that this wasn't your "fault." Sometimes accidents happen. If the kitten tried to sneak through while you were using the door, I can't see how you could have prevented it, even if you were watching out.

Once it happened, there was probably nothing you could have done to save the kitten.

I'm really sorry that your kitten died. :(
It's a really sad story. My heart goes out to you!

I understand that your sister was upset because the kitten died but I don't think it's fair that she put all the blame on you.
Maybe she was just over reacting.

She just needs to understand that bad things just happen, sometimes.
 
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Kora3

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All I can say is... S#it happens.

I know that sounds coarse but, sometimes, you just gotta' face facts.... Cats die. There's nothing you can do.

Just for information sake... Five minutes is about the length of time a person or animal can survive with an obstructed airway.
The accident probably broke the kitten's neck and crushed its windpipe.

What I'm trying to say is that this wasn't your "fault." Sometimes accidents happen. If the kitten tried to sneak through while you were using the door, I can't see how you could have prevented it, even if you were watching out.

Once it happened, there was probably nothing you could have done to save the kitten.

I'm really sorry that your kitten died. :(
It's a really sad story. My heart goes out to you!

I understand that your sister was upset because the kitten died but I don't think it's fair that she put all the blame on you.
Maybe she was just over reacting.

She just needs to understand that bad things just happen, sometimes.
Thank you so much for your kind words it made me tear reading it since i was expecting a harsh responses my sister didn't put the blame on me i wasn't there to prevent it or help sadly but i was afraid depression will get the best her i wanted her to see that it isn't her fault your words might help her❤
 

Furballsmom

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This may help you and your sister;

I will lend to you a kitten, God said,
for you to love while it lives, and mourn when it's dead.
Maybe for 12 or 14 years, or maybe 2 or 3,
but will you, 'till I call them back, take care of them for me?
They'll bring their charms to gladden you, and should their stay be brief,
you'll always have their memories as solace for your grief.
I cannot promise they will stay for all from Earth return,
but there are lessons taught below I want this kitten to learn.

I've looked the whole world over in search of teachers true,
and from the folk's that crowd life's land I have chosen you.
Now will you give it all your love, nor think the labor vain?
Nor hate me when I come to take my kitten home again?
My heart replied, "My Lord, Thy Will Be Done",
for all the joys this kitten brings the risk of grief I'll run.
We'll shelter it with tenderness, we'll love it while we may,
And for the happiness we've known, forever grateful stay.
But should you call it back much sooner than we planned,
We'll brave the bitter grief that comes and try to understand.
If by our love we've managed your wishes to achieve,
Then in memory of it whom we loved, please help us while we grieve.
When our cherished kitten departs this world of strife,
Please send yet another needing soul for us to love all it's life.

Author Unknown
 
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Kora3

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This may help you and your sister;

I will lend to you a kitten, God said,
for you to love while it lives, and mourn when it's dead.
Maybe for 12 or 14 years, or maybe 2 or 3,
but will you, 'till I call them back, take care of them for me?
They'll bring their charms to gladden you, and should their stay be brief,
you'll always have their memories as solace for your grief.
I cannot promise they will stay for all from Earth return,
but there are lessons taught below I want this kitten to learn.

I've looked the whole world over in search of teachers true,
and from the folk's that crowd life's land I have chosen you.
Now will you give it all your love, nor think the labor vain?
Nor hate me when I come to take my kitten home again?
My heart replied, "My Lord, Thy Will Be Done",
for all the joys this kitten brings the risk of grief I'll run.
We'll shelter it with tenderness, we'll love it while we may,
And for the happiness we've known, forever grateful stay.
But should you call it back much sooner than we planned,
We'll brave the bitter grief that comes and try to understand.
If by our love we've managed your wishes to achieve,
Then in memory of it whom we loved, please help us while we grieve.
When our cherished kitten departs this world of strife,
Please send yet another needing soul for us to love all it's life.

Author Unknown
This is so beautiful and as a religous person and someone who always find a sense of comfort in poetry this makes it even more impactful thank you so much may god bless where ever you go
 

mrsgreenjeens

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It horrible, but accidents do happen, and this was clearly an accident :alright:. It's only natural that your sister is blaming herself. but accidents happen and there is nothing to be done about it. Even when the time comes to have a cat put to sleep due to illness, most of us blame ourselves because surely, there was more we could do. Perhaps there is something in this thread that will be helpful for the grief and blame she is feeling: Thoughts For Grieving Cat Lovers
 

Mighty Orange

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I just want to thank you and your sister for your efforts in saving other kittens. In the end you and your sister have helped more cats then most people will ever do.
 
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Kora3

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It horrible, but accidents do happen, and this was clearly an accident :alright:. It's only natural that your sister is blaming herself. but accidents happen and there is nothing to be done about it. Even when the time comes to have a cat put to sleep due to illness, most of us blame ourselves because surely, there was more we could do. Perhaps there is something in this thread that will be helpful for the grief and blame she is feeling: Thoughts For Grieving Cat Lovers
Thank you your words will reach her and i will definietly check the post❤
 
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Kora3

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I just want to thank you and your sister for your efforts in saving other kittens. In the end you and your sister have helped more cats then most people will ever do.
Thank you so much it was already a rough time for both of us with family problemes these kind words is what make us get through the hard times
 

Caspers Human

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...my sister didn't put the blame on me i wasn't there...
I'm sorry. I misread.
I thought you said that YOU closed the door and your sister was angry at you.

Now, I understand... SHE closed the door and she blames herself.

My mistake. :(
Profuse apologies.

Still... No matter who was there, I don't think this accident could have been prevented. Once it happened, there wasn't anything that could have been done.

If I might add... If a small kitten gets its head caught in a heavy door and its neck gets broken, for all intents and purposes, it will probably die instantly. Nerve impulses might cause the body to convulse for a few minutes but, if the spinal cord is damaged or severed, the animal would be brain dead in less than a minute. Probably only a few seconds, even.

If you think it will help, tell your sister that the kitten didn't suffer.
To use a figure of speech, "The cat probably didn't even know that it was dead."

What you or your sister saw when the kitten cried and seemed to struggle was probably just random electrical impulses going through its nervous system. It might look gruesome but I don't think there was any pain.

To make an analogy, it would be similar to the way the lights in your house flicker, during a storm, before the power goes out.
 

Mamanyt1953

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No, there is no blame here, just a horrible accident. Your sister obviously loves these little ones, and does her very best for them, as do you. She is giving them their best chance at life, but it cannot always work the way we want it to. This is what you remember...that kitten knew someone loved and cared for it. It knew something of what "home" meant. It only suffered for a few minutes, and even then, there were loving hands trying to help. That baby knew more of love than SO many do, and now, from his new home in That Place Where All Things Are Known, he blesses you both for your care.
 

epona

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It's a horrible and tragic accident - but it was most certainly an accident, no-one meant for it to happen.

I know I'd feel awful too. I shut my dear departed Sonic's foot in a door once, fortunately he was ok just bruised, but I felt terrible about it even though he was OK.

Accidents happen, I feel terrible for all of you, much love.
 

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aw, reading all the kind responses makes my heart glad. Yes, terrible accidents happen, and death can result. The fact that you are sad means you are loving to start with. That is a GOOD thing !! Kittens are little rascals that dont understand danger , and I know of many stories that end sadly. Those who feel so bad, are because they loved them all along. The only ones who deserve wrath are those who mistreat them on purpose with no remorse. cant understand that at all. Accidents ? no blame there. Those are a sad reality .. and we are thankful you are helping those you are . May you and your sister feel the love and understanding you find here ! :alright: :hearthrob:
 

di and bob

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A tragic accident happened, and it was just that, an accident.....to have guilt you must have intent, and her intent was helping and caring for those little ones. I have stood in her shoes, I know the incredible pain of having a hand in causing a death. Though completely unintentional, it still brings crushing pain and incredible sadness and grief. It is something she will never get over, you find ways to live through it. I pray she can find a small sense of comfort knowing she gave that sweet little one love and comfort in its life, nature itself can be so cruel and harsh. She may save another little one's life through your post, people will remember this and be a little more careful when around small kittens. Some small measure of good will come out of this tragedy.
Time is the only thing that will help with dulling the sharp edges of her grief. Many people will not understand what she is going through because it is not personal to them. To her, it is all-consuming right now until she can form a new life's order for herself and move forward into the future instead of dwelling in the past and reliving this over and over. please have a small service for the kitten, pray for it to find peace. I know in my heart it has already forgiven her, because the love she gave was so much more important.
I'm so very sorry this had to happen, I hope she can concentrate on those still needing her care, instead of dwelling on the loss. What she is doing is so very important and loving, and means so much. I thank her for caring.......RIP little one. you will never be forgotten, you will always be missed. May the good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again!
 

denice

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This was a horrible accident. Kittens are quick and so small. This was not intentional in any way, it wasn't a result of neglect, it was a horrible accident.
 
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Kora3

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I'm sorry. I misread.
I thought you said that YOU closed the door and your sister was angry at you.

Now, I understand... SHE closed the door and she blames herself.

My mistake. :(
Profuse apologies.

Still... No matter who was there, I don't think this accident could have been prevented. Once it happened, there wasn't anything that could have been done.

If I might add... If a small kitten gets its head caught in a heavy door and its neck gets broken, for all intents and purposes, it will probably die instantly. Nerve impulses might cause the body to convulse for a few minutes but, if the spinal cord is damaged or severed, the animal would be brain dead in less than a minute. Probably only a few seconds, even.

If you think it will help, tell your sister that the kitten didn't suffer.
To use a figure of speech, "The cat probably didn't even know that it was dead."

What you or your sister saw when the kitten cried and seemed to struggle was probably just random electrical impulses going through its nervous system. It might look gruesome but I don't think there was any pain.

To make an analogy, it would be similar to the way the lights in your house flicker, during a storm, before the power goes out.
You don't need to apologize also the info you posted made me feel a bit better knowing that he didn't suffer since he seemed suffering alot when we held him i hope he is in the heaven playing with his mother now
 
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Kora3

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A tragic accident happened, and it was just that, an accident.....to have guilt you must have intent, and her intent was helping and caring for those little ones. I have stood in her shoes, I know the incredible pain of having a hand in causing a death. Though completely unintentional, it still brings crushing pain and incredible sadness and grief. It is something she will never get over, you find ways to live through it. I pray she can find a small sense of comfort knowing she gave that sweet little one love and comfort in its life, nature itself can be so cruel and harsh. She may save another little one's life through your post, people will remember this and be a little more careful when around small kittens. Some small measure of good will come out of this tragedy.
Time is the only thing that will help with dulling the sharp edges of her grief. Many people will not understand what she is going through because it is not personal to them. To her, it is all-consuming right now until she can form a new life's order for herself and move forward into the future instead of dwelling in the past and reliving this over and over. please have a small service for the kitten, pray for it to find peace. I know in my heart it has already forgiven her, because the love she gave was so much more important.
I'm so very sorry this had to happen, I hope she can concentrate on those still needing her care, instead of dwelling on the loss. What she is doing is so very important and loving, and means so much. I thank her for caring.......RIP little one. you will never be forgotten, you will always be missed. May the good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again!
Thank you will never neglect the rest of our cats they help her cope
aw, reading all the kind responses makes my heart glad. Yes, terrible accidents happen, and death can result. The fact that you are sad means you are loving to start with. That is a GOOD thing !! Kittens are little rascals that dont understand danger , and I know of many stories that end sadly. Those who feel so bad, are because they loved them all along. The only ones who deserve wrath are those who mistreat them on purpose with no remorse. cant understand that at all. Accidents ? no blame there. Those are a sad reality .. and we are thankful you are helping those you are . May you and your sister feel the love and understanding you find here ! :alright: :hearthrob:
Thanks to your all kind replies we had a sense of comfort and safty reading them its not something we can usually get thank you so much ❤
 
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