Please Help

[ravesroses]

So I have a male and female from the same litter me and my bf adopted them about 3 months ago I do all the bathing medicine teeth brushing ear cleaning etcetera, because I'm home more and my BD had a bad experience with a cat one that cut his arm up. But he love cats and so do I. Well when they were 6 months old we brought them home and put them in the spare room we call it the yes room cause they can't break anything or do anything that will get us upset. The male shadow , has always been shy and hides not wanting anything to do with us or just roams around but when he wants cuddles he is super attracted to my bf and not me if I move or anything he will run. If my bf walks toward him he will stay if I do he will run. Now my female is cuddly she will cuddle me or my bf but she like to stick with me alot she will follow us both around but when it comes time to nap or relax she's with me. Now I don't ignore shadow if he comes to me I'll pet him and nudge jinx away to be fair cause she's been with me all day. However we recently had given jinx and shadow cat nip mice she loved them and loves to play fetch during this period shadow was super cuddly and she just wanted to play fetch.. we think she got high from the nip so took all the mice but 1 and boom she and shadow went back to normal .problem is when I went to test the cat nip theory and give some only to shadow nothing happen gave it to him around 2 pm nothing so I gave some to her nothing then this morning about 6:30 am I go in and he came up to me to cuddle and she's slightly insane ... I don't know if it was the cat nip or what I'm so confused but both thier eyes are huge like giant black circles. Please any advise

 

[madzoya]

Catnip has different effects in different cats. In my experience with Bruce, it can also have different effects in the same cat. Sometimes Bruce will be super hyper if I put some in his toys. Other times he will simply ignore the toys all together.

Never really seen any allarming difference in his eyes, or with other cats I've seen experiencing catnip, though.

 

[haleyds]

It's best to not over use catnip although it's great once in awhile for fun. It sounds to me like it helps him to relax while it stimulates your female- similar to how alcohol can function as a stimulant or a depressant depending on the individual consuming it.
He may be standoffish due to anxiety and the catnip helps him to feel more confident and at ease.
I would recommend some feliway diffusers which are safe for more continued use.

 

[danteshuman]

I know my boys divided the humans when I was married to my x-hubby. Salem loves men, always has preferred men and "owned' my x-hubby. Dante is totally bonded to me. So sometimes cats do that; nothing to worry about. Though it might be a bit unfair for you to always be the "bad cop." Is there anyway he could half the bathing/brushing/nail clipping/teeth brushing on your male cat? Like you alternate it. You give one bath, he gives one bath?

 

[ravesroses]

I know my boys divided the humans when I was married to my x-hubby. Salem loves men, always has preferred men and "owned' my x-hubby. Dante is totally bonded to me. So sometimes cats do that; nothing to worry about. Though it might be a bit unfair for you to always be the "bad cop." Is there anyway he could half the bathing/brushing/nail clipping/teeth brushing on your male cat? Like you alternate it. You give one bath, he gives one bath?

So he helps with feeding and brushing but he had a cousins cat who all he was doing was petting the cat and for one reason or another the cat attacked his arm I could tell when he talked about it that it was a tramatic experience. I've been a cat person my whole life I love dogs to so I've been scratched bit and stepped on but nothing to that extent I took advice from my aunt who Foster's cat and did alot of head touching and picking up when they were little the first couple months I'd get scratched every now and them but not since we recently went to give them a bath and my bf brushed are male before hand and that's a huge step he also stay in as I give our male a bath to help calm him down. But I don't want to push it.

 

[madzoya]

I completely understand. My hubby is the same way. Getting Bruce was huge for him. He will feed him and play with him (with toys and very gentle) but cliping nails, brushing or anything that involves holding Bruce, it's up to me.

It's been six months and he doesn't even pick up Bruce. But they have a nice relationship and Bruce instintively knows how to respect his boundaries with him.