Playtime between our 2 month kitten and 1 year old cat

emilystaffs77

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Hi everyone,

On Saturday we got a little kitten called Rufus. Our 1 year old cat is a gorgeous boy and extremely playful and likes company so we wanted to get him a companion. On Saturday we did lots of scent swapping and gave them each each others beds etc. It all went well. All the room swaps/introductions etc went well. Last night we let them have a supervised play and it went well (Rufus hissed once when Rali played too hard so we separated them). I did t quite anticipate how tiny Rufus is and also how playful Rali is and wants to be and the fact he doesn't have an off switch (obviously). How do we proceed with this? Do we let them play (supervised) several times a day and just break it off if someone hisses? What exactly needs to be done and established? Any help would be much appreciated.
 

ArtNJ

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If you were not terrified, Rali was actually showing some restraint. One year olds don't hurt kittens, BUT they often they play with such crazy enthusiasm that it sure looks like they might do so by accident. Although they don't "hurt" as in "injure" kittens, discomfort on the level of a head noogie is common because of the size difference and the one year old's lack of moderation. The smaller kitten will squeal and maybe even scream, and run and hide. You have to pay close attention to the little one, because how they act is very important. If they only hiss and run when rough play is actually going on, and they come back out in 5 or 10 minutes and act like nothing happened, and especially if they initiate play sometimes, then all is totally fine. Assuming that is where you are at, you can still watch and gently separate when the kitten seems particularly miserable. The kitten might take a little time to actually get to this point, and if he isn't yet there, you can be a little more protective to help them feel safe and comfortable.

There isn't any rush, and some members actually tell folks in your situation to wait a week or two, especially if you are talking 8 weeks when you say "two months" old. Definitely something to consider if the "let your kitten be your guide" test shows that your kitten is not comfortable with the big cat yet (i.e. he doesn't come right back out and act like nothing happened after rough play is over). Separation isn't usually strictly necessary. Even with an 8 week old, the kitten will not be hurt. And you weren't completely terrified, so maybe Rali is showing some restraint. A little bit, anyways :)

P.S. It might also be that you just didn't see Rali display the full range of behaviors, and you will be a bit terrified later. It is legitimately a bit horrifying to see a one year old flop on their back in the classic defensive position, and hold and rake a tiny kitten with their paws. Just remember that in a fight, the claws would be out, and if it wasn't play, the kitten would be...well...shredded. So as horrifying as it may look, it isn't dangerous. A lot of people also get scared at the big cat biting the kitten's neck, which is understandable but totally unnecessary, since the brutal truth is that if it wasn't purely play the kitten would be dead before you could be worried, and that never happens.
 
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emilystaffs77

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Thank you so much for your responses! Rali is such a good boy he was showing a lot of restraint! They were meowing for each other this morning and we let them have a play together. Rufus runs and hides (and sometimes hisses) and then comes out and chases Rali or swipes for Rali so I think we are ok. We got to the point where Rufus was walking past Rali and Rali wasn't chasing him as well (rewarded by many dreamies) so I think it went well! I just so want our cats to get on and have a lovely relationship forever more, I just know these initial meets can determine their relationship moving forward!
 
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emilystaffs77

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Today Rali was playingp
If you were not terrified, Rali was actually showing some restraint. One year olds don't hurt kittens, BUT they often they play with such crazy enthusiasm that it sure looks like they might do so by accident. Although they don't "hurt" as in "injure" kittens, discomfort on the level of a head noogie is common because of the size difference and the one year old's lack of moderation. The smaller kitten will squeal and maybe even scream, and run and hide. You have to pay close attention to the little one, because how they act is very important. If they only hiss and run when rough play is actually going on, and they come back out in 5 or 10 minutes and act like nothing happened, and especially if they initiate play sometimes, then all is totally fine. Assuming that is where you are at, you can still watch and gently separate when the kitten seems particularly miserable. The kitten might take a little time to actually get to this point, and if he isn't yet there, you can be a little more protective to help them feel safe and comfortable.

There isn't any rush, and some members actually tell folks in your situation to wait a week or two, especially if you are talking 8 weeks when you say "two months" old. Definitely something to consider if the "let your kitten be your guide" test shows that your kitten is not comfortable with the big cat yet (i.e. he doesn't come right back out and act like nothing happened after rough play is over). Separation isn't usually strictly necessary. Even with an 8 week old, the kitten will not be hurt. And you weren't completely terrified, so maybe Rali is showing some restraint. A little bit, anyways :)

P.S. It might also be that you just didn't see Rali display the full range of behaviors, and you will be a bit terrified later. It is legitimately a bit horrifying to see a one year old flop on their back in the classic defensive position, and hold and rake a tiny kitten with their paws. Just remember that in a fight, the claws would be out, and if it wasn't play, the kitten would be...well...shredded. So as horrifying as it may look, it isn't dangerous. A lot of people also get scared at the big cat biting the kitten's neck, which is understandable but totally unnecessary, since the brutal truth is that if it wasn't purely play the kitten would be dead before you could be worried, and that never happens.
Hi ArtNJ,
Can I get your advice? Last night and today Rali has upped the rough play. Sometimes it is just establishing dominance by biting Rufus on the back of the neck softly and then letting go, but sometimes they are laid on their side kicking each other and Rali is genuinely very rough with Rufus. Rufus isn't too bothered and has yelled out twice so we broke it up but he still initiates play etc. Neither cat has hissed. Is this normal? How long will it go on for if so? Is there anything we need to look out for?
Emily
 

di and bob

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The hisses are telling the other cat to back off, so really, they aren't a bad thing. The older cat needs to learn restraint and the kitten needs manners taught, otherwise he will grow up to be a brat. Is Rali neutered, unneutered cats can and will try to mate and possibly hurt the kitten, so watch that. It also lessens the aggressiveness by quite a bit. It sounds like play to me, so let them have fun, but step in if the kitten can't get away.....
 

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Ah yes, if you re-read my post, you'll note that I mentioned the kicking is quite frightening looking and you might see that in the future. In the wild, a cat will flop on the back and kick for defense. Its the classic defensive position. Between cats of equal size they do this in play very often and its unremarkable. With a kitten, it just looks terrifying even though its play. Sometimes the adult will hold the kitten like its a kicker toy! But with the nails in, it doesn't do any actual harm. As with the other stuff, it may or may not be quite uncomfortable though, so watch how the kitten acts, and if the kitten ever seems particularly miserable, you can gently distract.
 
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emilystaffs77

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The hisses are telling the other cat to back off, so really, they aren't a bad thing. The older cat needs to learn restraint and the kitten needs manners taught, otherwise he will grow up to be a brat. Is Rali neutered, unneutered cats can and will try to mate and possibly hurt the kitten, so watch that. It also lessens the aggressiveness by quite a bit. It sounds like play to me, so let them have fun, but step in if the kitten can't get away.....
Thank you for your response di and bob. Yes Rali is neutered! He isn't an aggressive cat and when we did the introductions there was no aggressive behaviour, which is why we were quite surprised when he got really rough with Rufus. He gets particularly rough on the stairs which always have been his dominant place. Does this sound normal and ok? How long will the rough play go on for?
 
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emilystaffs77

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Ah yes, if you re-read my post, you'll note that I mentioned the kicking is quite frightening looking and you might see that in the future. In the wild, a cat will flop on the back and kick for defense. Its the classic defensive position. Between cats of equal size they do this in play very often and its unremarkable. With a kitten, it just looks terrifying even though its play. Sometimes the adult will hold the kitten like its a kicker toy! But with the nails in, it doesn't do any actual harm. As with the other stuff, it may or may not be quite uncomfortable though, so watch how the kitten acts, and if the kitten ever seems particularly miserable, you can gently distract.
Thank you ArtNJ! I know I spoke way too soon when I said Rali was relatively calm. How long do you think this will go on for? When Rufus yelps is he in pain or just discomfort? We always separate and give them time to calm down at that point
 

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I'm pretty sure its just discomfort, because if it was pain the kitten wouldn't come right back in 5 or 10 minutes and sometimes even initiate play. I like to say you can let the kitten be your guide. Yelps are just a very normal thing when the older cat is 9 months to a year and a half. Even with much older cats playing with a kitten, in general the older ones show a lot more restraint, but you'll still get yelps now and then.
 
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emilystaffs77

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I'm pretty sure its just discomfort, because if it was pain the kitten wouldn't come right back in 5 or 10 minutes and sometimes even initiate play. I like to say you can let the kitten be your guide. Yelps are just a very normal thing when the older cat is 9 months to a year and a half. Even with much older cats playing with a kitten, in general the older ones show a lot more restraint, but you'll still get yelps now and then.
Thank you so much for all your great responses and advice! You are making me feel a lot better! How long will this go on for?
 

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Kittens grow a pound a month, so things will get more equal relatively quickly. Just think of it this way -- no matter how much little brother calls for mom when he gets those head noogies, he *still* wants big brothers attention. Its normal, and not some awful thing. There is already a benefit of sorts to having the older cat around, kitten wouldn't get rid of the older cat if you could allow the choice. And you can help out when it gets over the top and kitten seems miserable.
 
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