Play dates after two cats lived together, now in two home

[Tara1995]

When I was in college I adopted a kitten, because he couldn’t live with me in my college apartment, he lived at my moms house. Theo is now 5 years old.
In April my mom rescued a kitten who was four weeks old, from a abandoned car. Bjorn is now 6 months old.
Theo and I were able to move out of my mom house into an apartment. Theo is adjusted great to our new home. This weekend I went to my moms to spend the day, I brought Theo with me so he could play with Bjorn. Everything went great, Theo enjoyed having more room to roam and Bjorn was happy to have his brother to play with. I did this again yesterday, again everything went great.
This morning my mom told me Bjorn was meowing a lot like after we moved. Like he was sad he couldn’t find me or Theo. And when she went to make her bed and Bjorn was pawing at her bed trying to cover up something. She realized he had peed on her bed.
We have never had this problem before, the cats always used they litter box.
My question is, is it bad to have they had play dates? Is it too hard for Bjorn to adjust to having Theo over, then leaving? It saddens me if they can’t play together anymore, but if it’s healthy for them emotionally, I will be anything for they happiness.

 

[LTS3]

Cats aren't like dogs where you can take them anywhere for play dates. When two cats are separated into different homes, that's pretty much it. They will no longer get along because they'll just fight. The resident cat sees the other cat as a intruding stranger even if if both have lived together in the past. A neutral meeting place wouldn't help. That's no different from the vet's office. Both cats would be scared and may become aggressive to each other and to you.

Cats do eventually get used to being the only cat in a household whether one cat moves away or dies or goes missing outside. The remaining cat might look for the friend for a little bit and act confused they'll settle down into a new routine. Giving extra attention to the cat helps.

 

[rubysmama]

I think it's pretty amazing that you can bring Theo back to his original home and he'll still play with his little brother. It might be because Bjorn is still a kitten. And it is possible that their close relationship could continue, however, as Bjorn gets older, it's also possible that he and Theo could get territorial about the house, and actually become aggressive towards each other. Of course there's no way to know what will happen in the future.

However, the fact that Bjorn peed on the bed after Theo left, does suggest that the play dates, though fun at the time, may be a source of stress for Bjorn.

Stress in Cats – The Ultimate Guide – TheCatSite Articles

Has Bjorn been neutered yet? If not, at 6 months he is maturing, and the peed could have been a form of marking territory.

Regardless, you don't want him to get into a habit of peeing on the bed. So make sure your mother washes the bedding with an enzyme cleaner to ensure the urine scent is completely removed.

How To Get Cat Pee Smell Out Of Clothes And Linens – TheCatSite Articles

Welcome to TCS, btw.

 

[ArtNJ]

To summarize, since cats dont usually travel well (unless you start early and keep up with it) or enjoy playdates, its a little hard to say if the peeing is because the older cat was missing his friend because this isn't a situation that comes up very often. Certainly, the circumstances do make it look that way. On the other hand, I've never heard of a surviving cat peeing outside the box because a friend cat dies, which seems like a maybe analogous situation.

So add it all up and I'd say its not bad to do this if that cats seem to enjoy it and not be stressed about it. All cats are different, and if its working for these two great! If you get a repeat of the peeing when the kitten goes home, I guess you'll know for sure that its missing a friend and can consider what to do. Keep us in the loop, would be good to know if this comes up again.

 

[Tara1995]

Yes Bjorn has been neutered last month. Thank you for the advice.