Planning My Wedding - Lari is married!

Mamanyt1953

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You're sweet. Idk if it's hormones or that it's so close, but I've just been so moody. I go from being happy and thrilled to grumpy and worried.
It's hormones AND adrenalin. And it is perfectly normal. All of us (or most) who went through a wedding know that your moods change like that...generally every 30-45 seconds.


Seriously! I think you could wear a brown paper bag and carry it off!
I second that!

I love the dress that you ordered. Classy and classic...and it looks "forgiving," if that makes sense...since you don't like your arms, it conceals without looking as if you are trying to conceal. Gotta love a dress that works with you!
 
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Lari

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Well, hormones are definitely involved. Also explains why all I want to do is eat my candy corn M&Ms.

My guestbook finally shipped. Still waiting to hear back from the music lady, and I can't make my ceremony programs until I get that sorted.
 

AbbysMom

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And there seems to be concern that fiancé's SIL won't show up last minute. I'm not sure what issues she has exactly with fiancé's family, and it'll probably look worse for her and fiancé's brother/best man than us if she doesn't show, but you think that would be the kind of person you could rely on to attend a wedding.
Well, a wedding is the type of event where you will find out who is in your corner and who isn't unfortunately. When I was walking down the aisle I had no idea if my mother-in-law, father-in-law and brother-in-law were going to be there. BIL was the best man! We did have a backup plan. My stress level was enormous and when I was having my hair done I just sat in the chair and cried the whole time. Every wedding comes with drama unfortunately.

As far as your age, older brides are the norm now. I've been to six weddings in the past six years and four of the brides were in their 30's. I got married 27 years ago and was 24. That was the norm then. Now it's unusual.

I really hope the dress you ordered works for you! :crossfingers:

You're getting into crunch time and there is going to be stress now. Most of the little things that are going to go wrong will only be noticed by you. Soon you will be on your honeymoon.
 
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Lari

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Well, a wedding is the type of event where you will find out who is in your corner and who isn't unfortunately. When I was walking down the aisle I had no idea if my mother-in-law, father-in-law and brother-in-law were going to be there. BIL was the best man! We did have a backup plan. My stress level was enormous and when I was having my hair done I just sat in the chair and cried the whole time. Every wedding comes with drama unfortunately.
Yeah, I'm finding that out. My one aunt is coming, but told my mom she wasn't sure if she would because she didn't know if any of her kids would show up, and I'm not sure any will and she'd be one of the very few people attending both weddings and definitely find it lacking without my cousins.

And I know I shouldn't make this a competition and the important thing is that I'm getting married to my fiancé, but right now I'm cranky and don't feel good and tired of feeling always second rate. And my therapist thinks it's mostly a confidence issue, and I can be good at my own things but I'll never be good enough.

I wish I didn't feel jealous. I don't understand why it's so easy to love my fiancé, and Lelia, and Sparkle, but so hard to love myself. I'm trying to work on it. I guess it feels like another thing I'll never be good enough at.
 

rubysmama

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Does it help to know that we love you, and would never know you had confidence issues. And, btw, you never come across here as being "not good enough". I mean, you did listen to every single song/video posted in the favourite songs thread !!! That alone, makes you better than most of us, I'll bet. ;)
 

Mamanyt1953

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Does it help to know that we love you, and would never know you had confidence issues. And, btw, you never come across here as being "not good enough". I mean, you did listen to every single song/video posted in the favourite songs thread !!! That alone, makes you better than most of us, I'll bet. ;)
Too bad I can't purraise that more than once! YES, Lari, you come across as VERY put-togther, and as confident as any woman planning a wedding ever is! And you are very much loved here. Like cotton, you're part of the fabric of our lives!
 
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Lari

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rubysmama rubysmama Mamanyt1953 Mamanyt1953 I guess I'm glad I present myself decently on the internet at times, though I'm not sure most people would consider my song thread listening an actual achievement.

I feel like I have a very complicated relationship with my sister sometimes. I wanted a sister so badly and was so excited when she was born. And then as time went on, it seemed like most things I did she was better at. So I decided that we just couldn't do any of the same things, have the same haircut, etc. And even that didn't end up working, because even though she went into a different field, she got a good paying job right after getting her degree, whereas I lost multiple jobs, couldn't get one where I wanted, and lived with my parents until I was 29. She's never been in a car accident - I've had multiple fender benders. And then I found my fiancé on match and was so happy and a few months later she does the same thing, but is a better gf and communicator so she gets engaged and married first - all while being seven years younger.

My therapist would say I'm spinning, but it just makes sense that her wedding was better than mine will be. Just like imagine she'll get pregnant first, easily, and her kids will be cuter and more talented than mine, if I'm even able to have them just starting at 36.

And she's my sister and I love her, but it's been hard watching her be so much more successful. So I just try to act like everything's cool because I know it's not fair to tell her not to live her own life as she sees fit.

I think a lot of times I feel like I'm never really "in" anywhere, just like on the outside of all my social circles, so then I try too hard and people decide they don't like me anymore. So the rejections or not hearing from people I thought I could count on seems to be hitting me especially hard.

That was a tl;dr vent which I'm sure doesn't paint me in the best light because I'm aware of how many people are worse off and I know I'm lucky in so many ways, but that's my soul bared. Yeah.
 

neely

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We don't know your sister but we do know you and, I mean this from the bottom of my heart, you are a very caring and compassionate woman. :hugs: I'm guessing you are more sensitive than your sister which is indicative of being thoughtful, warmhearted and considerate. I have every reason to believe that you will shine on your wedding day and be the belle of the ball. 👰
 

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rubysmama rubysmama Mamanyt1953 Mamanyt1953 I guess I'm glad I present myself decently on the internet at times, though I'm not sure most people would consider my song thread listening an actual achievement.

I feel like I have a very complicated relationship with my sister sometimes. I wanted a sister so badly and was so excited when she was born. And then as time went on, it seemed like most things I did she was better at. So I decided that we just couldn't do any of the same things, have the same haircut, etc. And even that didn't end up working, because even though she went into a different field, she got a good paying job right after getting her degree, whereas I lost multiple jobs, couldn't get one where I wanted, and lived with my parents until I was 29. She's never been in a car accident - I've had multiple fender benders. And then I found my fiancé on match and was so happy and a few months later she does the same thing, but is a better gf and communicator so she gets engaged and married first - all while being seven years younger.

My therapist would say I'm spinning, but it just makes sense that her wedding was better than mine will be. Just like imagine she'll get pregnant first, easily, and her kids will be cuter and more talented than mine, if I'm even able to have them just starting at 36.

And she's my sister and I love her, but it's been hard watching her be so much more successful. So I just try to act like everything's cool because I know it's not fair to tell her not to live her own life as she sees fit.

I think a lot of times I feel like I'm never really "in" anywhere, just like on the outside of all my social circles, so then I try too hard and people decide they don't like me anymore. So the rejections or not hearing from people I thought I could count on seems to be hitting me especially hard.

That was a tl;dr vent which I'm sure doesn't paint me in the best light because I'm aware of how many people are worse off and I know I'm lucky in so many ways, but that's my soul bared. Yeah.
Oh sweetie, all I can say is you sooo ROCK!!! Baring your soul is a good thing!! You needed to do it. No matter who is or isn't there, your wedding will be amazing and we'll all be there in spirit cheering you on!!! WE LOVE YOU!!!!💖💝💓
 

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I don’t have a sister but do have a step sister. I won’t try to tell you everything but I can tell you we have similar issues going on. It seems like everything was harder for me and even though I am seen by others as “the quiet and gentle one.” it seemed that she had all the advantages as far as life having been easier. As I got older though, I learned that she was the one who felt most like she always had to compete. She thought that because I had the disadvantages that others worried only about me. Lol In reality, we were both just doing our best to live our lives as things came along. She took a totally different path from mine. I kind of refused to compete in the way you chose different things. My interests would have taken me on a different path anyway though. We are different people and have separate destinies. I am now very glad mine went the way it did. Harder but I think I am much more content with the path I took. She still feels a need to go one better even though I have sat down with her to let her know that I will never be her competition and that we are both seen and loved for our differences. I still hope she will find the same comfort level that I did. She is younger and I think she will reach the same conclusion in time. Age gives us greater perspective. You are so beautiful and I have been so impressed by you. I can only think that your sister may feel just as you do but has never voiced it. I understand the feeling of being shortchanged or left out but you just shine as a different star from a different place in the sky. If not equally as glowing, then more so. You might be surprised one day to find out that she felt she had to work twice as hard because you were always the favored one.
No matter how many people attended her wedding, it can’t possibly be as many people as have been attending every lovely detail of your wedding here. I think you can count of all of us being in attendance through every moment and sending our love on your big day. You have the world at your feet here. Nothing negative towards your sister but I doubt she had anything like what you have here. :vibes::redheartpump: I hope you can feel it.
 
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Lari

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Jcatbird Jcatbird - Thank you for all of that. I really do appreciate it, even though I'm sure you're greatly overestimating the number of people who follow this little thread.

I have a lot of things I need to work on, especially my jealous streak and wanting to be better or at least as good. as others. I know a lot of it is my self-esteem, and I've been working on being kinder to myself, but I still fall into funks, especially when I'm stressed.

We contacted those we haven't heard from, and heard back from most of them (except my one cousin). Thankfully, the friend I hadn't heard from is coming, which makes me feel a bit better.

I finished buying bridesmaids gifts today, and ordered them some cheap pashminas off etsy as well to help keep them warm for any outdoor photos we may take. I still need to do programs, finish getting my dress fitted, escort cards, table assignments, start contacting vendors for final payments, make a day of timeline and not go crazy.

I think I'm missing something.
 

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We really can’t ever know how many people are reading a thread. Many don’t respond so..... since this is available in many countries, many may be watching and enjoying all that goes on here. During the time I have been writing on site people have shown up that I never knew were reading what I wrote. It has kind of surprised me many times. I know for sure that you have many responses here and we are all so honored to be allowed access to the details of such a special time. I’m very happy that you invited us all to share the preparations. It’s been very exciting.

Ah, ah, ah! I was writing this when rubysmama rubysmama posted how many have come here! Wow! See! I knew you had a huge amount of people who care! Awesome!!:banana1: Jeepers!
I can’t imagine what you could have forgotten, maybe breathe?
 
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Lari

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My "guestbook" arrived!
1021191831_kindlephoto-543798146.jpg


I love it so much!

And, and, so did my rehearsal dinner dress!
1021191828a.jpg


I really love it. And it fits really well.

Also, got the church music figured out, so now I can make and order programs.
 

Jcatbird

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Standing there in that dress, you look like someone out of a magazine! It looks like you have the kitty “seal of approval” as well. The dress is perfect! Fit, style, fabrics.... everything. I hope you save that photo for later. Even minus face. Lol It’s a great shot.
The guestbook is really cute! It sounds like everything is coming together. :bunnydance:
 
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